Coming back
by Pippeloen
Summary: Andy sighed and closed her eyes. 'I thought I was doing the right thing.' 'The right thing' Sam asked. 'You left without as much as an explanation.' 'I'm sorry,' she said. 'Yeah, so am I,' he said before leaving her alone. AU set during season one. Sam comes back from his undercover operation, to find out things at the division changed.
1. Chapter 1

So, another multi chapter story after 'There's more'.

I hope you'll all be able to appreciate it just as much!

XX

For the first time in almost a year Sam walked through the doors of 15th division. Not in uniform, but in cuffs and in a pair of worn out jeans and a black t-shirt. He hasn't even shaved for over a week.

Oliver is the one that is leading him to his holding cell, Sam knows he'll probably be in there for a few hours. After that he'll debrief with guns and gangs and he can finally go home again.

Well.. what used to be his home anyway. After almost a year it's kind of hard to imagine going there.

''Good job Sammy, good to have you back,'' Oliver whispered before he released him from his cuffs. A pat on his shoulder and then the door closed again. It was all part of the job, Sam knows that. It's for his own protection that everybody thinks he was arrested too.

Sam sits down on the crappy bench and puts his head in his hands for a moment. One year of pretending to be a drug addict, a dealer, scum. Now he could go back to his life where he is the opposite of the role he played. He thought the job would be easier, after eight months he thought he was nearly done, but then there was a little bit of suspicion towards him and they pushed back the bust.

Sam was tired, like utterly exhausted. He couldn't wait until his head would hit a pillow and he could sleep for a few days. But first things first, he needed to give a statement and debrief. He knew every little detail of the case, he memorised it by heart because he wanted those scumbags behind bars for good. Especially Hill, Sam had seen enough to know that guy didn't deserve to see daylight ever again. With the proof he collected over the last year, chances were he wouldn't.

After what felt like days, but it probably was hours, the door of his cell opened again. A rookie walked in, at least Sam assumed he was a rookie. He didn't even look like he was old enough to be a cop.

''Up,'' the kid said. Sam checked his name tag and came to the conclusion he never heard of the guy, Epstein.

Sam slowly stood up and put his hands behind his back, he knew he would be cuffed again. By the way the guy looked at him Sam didn't think he knew he was an undercover cop.

When Epstein walked him into the interview room he was met by his best friend. ''Sammy, good to have you back brother,'' Jerry said before giving him a man hug. ''Epstein, cuffs,'' Jerry said to the rookie.

Sam turned his face around to take a good look at the kid, who seemed to be totally lost. ''Sir,'' he started looking at Jerry with a questioning look.

''Epstein, meet your colleague Sam Swarek. Sam, this is one of the new rookies we got,'' Jerry said.

''Colleague?'' Epstein questioned again.

Sam rolled his eyes, he seriously wondered where they dug up the rookies every year. It seemed like they got stupider by the year. ''I was undercover, so if you wouldn't mind..'' Sam lifted his still cuffed hands.

''No sir, of course sir,'' the guy said before quickly opening the handcuffs.

When he lost the restrained Sam relaxed his wrists and smiled at Jerry. ''Long time no see buddy,'' he said before clapping his oldest friend on the back. Epstein excused himself and left the interview room.

''Boyd will be here in a minute with the superintendent, but I wanted to see you for a moment,'' Jerry said. ''How are you doing?''

''Good, weird to be back but good, you?'' It felt great talking to someone from his old life, his own life. For the first time in a very long time he didn't have to play an act, he didn't have to think about acting like he needed drugs.

''Good, a lot has changed since you left brother,'' Jerry said.

''Like what?'' Sam asked. Of course things changed, he had been gone for a year, he would be surprised if things were still the same.

''Got divorced,'' Jerry said. Sam didn't really know what to say to that, actually he was kind of expecting it. He could say he was sorry, but he never really liked Jerry's wife and Jerry knew that.

''You okay?'' Sam settled for asking that question.

''Yeah, splitting everything up sucks but it wasn't working so we stopped fooling ourselves.''

Sam nodded and clapped Jerry on the back one more time. ''Things here still the same?'' he asked.

''Frank made Staff Sergeant,'' Jerry told him.

''Boyd actually told me that, that was too be expected. I think Boyko was trying to get into head quarters before I even left,'' Sam paused for a moment before he sat down. ''The new rookies any good?''

Jerry looked at him for a moment and took a deep breath. ''Yeah Sammy, about that,''

Jerry was interrupted by the door opening and Boyd stepping in. ''Sammy, great job,'' he yelled before he sat down across from him. ''We already have enough to put most of them away for years.''

Jerry excused himself and walked away. Sam wanted to know what Jerry wanted to say to him, he actually seemed nervous but right now he had to focus. He told Boyd and a white shirt everything he knew about the case. After that he got thanked for his work and they told him to go see his staff sergeant.

Sam first went to the locker room, he needed a shower and he probably had a razor in his locker somewhere. When he finally felt clean again he dried off and shaved his beard away. The shower in his cover apartment was disgusting, actually the whole place was pretty much a dump. When he finally had on some clean clothes, Sam walked to Frank's office and knocked before opening the door.

''I hear congratulations are in order?'' Sam said before stepping in.

''I could say the same for you,'' Frank said before he stood up. ''You did good.''

''So I have to call you boss now?'' Sam asked with a smirk.

Frank smiled and motioned for Sam to sit down. ''So, you know the drill. You get a week off to see whoever you need to see, after that you go see the department shrink to talk about your assignment. When she clears you you'll be back on the streets.''

''Yeah, I know,'' Sam sighed. He wasn't looking forward to his appointment with the shrink, but he knew it was protocol after a deep undercover.

''You planning on staying with us or are you already waiting for a new undercover?'' Frank asked.

Sam shrugged and looked around Frank's office. ''We'll see. If anything comes up I'll probably take it. Unless Sarah kills me before that.''

''Go home and sleep Sam.'' Frank said. ''You look like you can use it.''

''Thanks..'' Sam said. ''Boss,'' he added with a grin before standing up and walking out of the office. His truck was in Oliver's garage, so he should probably get someone to drive him home.

Sam walked around the barn looking for a familiar face, he saw Oliver standing there and moved towards his friend.

When he saw her his heart stopped for a moment. She was the last person he expected to see here, she was in uniform. She looked a little thinner than he remembered, but still beautiful as ever. She was smiling, probably at something Oliver said when she looked up and looked him in the eye. The smile fell from her face and Sam saw her walk away immediately.

There she was, the only girl he ever really cared about. The first person he ever saw a future with. This was the second time he saw her walking away from him.

XX

_He locked his truck and made his way to the front door. He let himself in and flicked on the light in the hall. _

''_You home?'' he called out. He didn't get an answer. He checked his watch and noticed she normally was home by this time. She had been acting weird for a few days, but Sam didn't really think anything about it. She had a few big tests coming up and even though Sam knew she would pass them with flying colors, she was probably stressed about it. _

_Sam decided to take a quick shower and then make diner for her, they could use a night just the two of them. When he came out of the shower he dried off and pulled on some boxers. When he was looking for a clean pair of jeans he noticed the drawer was more empty than it normally was. _

_Sam looked around the bedroom and saw more things were missing. The book Andy was reading wasn't on the nightstand anymore and when he walked back to the bathroom he noticed her makeup wasn't taking over the entire place anymore. Sam pulled on his jeans as fast as he could and grabbed a t-shirt from the drawer. He put on the t-shirt while walking down the stairs, his heart was beating faster than it did when he was standing face to face with serious criminals. That didn't scare him, this did. _

_There only was one light on in the living room, so the room was almost completely dark. Sam saw her standing in front of the window, staring outside. When he looked at the couch he saw two bags lying on it. _

''_Andy,'' he started, his voice shaking a little. _

_She turned around to face him, her eyes watery and he didn't need to ask her if she had been crying. He could see it on her face, her mascara was smudged under her eyes and her eyes were puffy. _

''_What's going on?'' he asked her even though it seemed pretty clear, but he refused to believe that she was actually leaving. _

''_I'm going to stay with my dad for a while,'' her voice so quiet she was almost whispering. _

''_What's wrong?'' he asked again. Sure she had been a little distracted lately, but things between them were still good. They hardly ever fought, they had been living together for a year and they had been doing great. _

''_I need some time,'' she whispered. _

_Sam stood motionless, like every movement could scare her away before he could talk to her. Sit her down, talk to her, make her see that this is crazy, make her see that he loves her more than he ever loved anybody in his life. _

''_Andy,'' he whispered to her. ''What the hell is going on?'' he said with a little more power in his voice. He'd be damned if he would let her walk out like this. Not without a fight, not without an explanation. _

''_We can't keep doing this Sam..'' she said before new tears started running down her cheeks. She shook her head and put her arms around herself. ''I need to focus on school and,'' _

''_So you have to leave?'' Sam yelled at her. ''You need to focus on school, we can clean out the guest room and get a desk so you can have space for yourself. You don't pack up all your stuff and leave.'' _

_Andy closed her eyes and shook her head again. ''It isn't that easy, we can't keep doing this and end up hating each other.'' _

_Sam still stood frozen to his spot by the door and lifted his arms in the air. ''What the hell are you talking about? I could never hate you.'' _

''_Sam please,'' she begged. _

_In three long strides he was standing in front of her. He cupped her face in his hands and made her look up to him. ''Don't do this,'' he said. _

''_I have to,'' she whispered. ''I'm so sorry, I love you.'' _

''_Then why leave me?'' Sam asked before he clenched his jaw and tightened his hold on her, afraid that she would just disappear. _

''_It's best for both of us,'' Andy said. ''You'll see that later, you have your career to think about and I still have so much I need to do.'' _

''_My career?'' Sam dropped his hands to his side and took a step back. ''You want to leave? You give me a good reason why you want to leave and don't tell me it's because of my career,'' he yelled at her. ''We've talked about this a million times and I told you every single time that you are not in the way. I love you, so don't you dare blame this on my career.'' _

''_Sam,'' she tried again. _

''_Is there someone else?'' he asked. He didn't even want to consider the possibility that she met someone else, but maybe that would explain her behaviour. _

''_No, of course not,'' she said. _

''_Then what is this about?'' Sam asked for the umpteenth time that evening. _

_Andy shrugged and looked more helpless then he ever saw her before. ''We just can't do this anymore.'' _

''_Why not?'' he asked as calm as he could. She still hadn't give him a good reason for leaving him. If there was someone else than at least she had a reason, but everything she said so far made no sense at all. _

''_We shouldn't keep doing this to each other,'' Andy said. ''We should set each other free now, before it really hurts.''_

''_Before it really hurts?'' he yelled again. ''What the hell has gotten into you Andy? I love you, you think this doesn't hurt, you're an idiot.'' _

_He saw her flinch and even though she was ripping his heart out right now, he didn't want her to be afraid of him. He would never hurt her, not even if she was hurting him more than anybody else could ever hurt him. He moved to stand in front of her again and wrapped his arms around her. _

''_Don't leave,'' he practically begged. ''Stay, we can talk, you can have your space just don't,'' he took a deep breath. '' just please don't leave.'' _

''_I'm sorry,'' she whispered again. She took his hands that were around her waist and pulled them from her body. When the doorbell rang she quickly dried off her tears. _

''_That's my dad,'' she said before walking to the couch and taking the bags. ''I think I've got most of my stuff and I'll be back later to pick up the rest. I'll make sure you're gone if that makes it easier.'' _

''_Easier?'' Sam let out a sarcastic laugh. She looked at him for a second and just when he thought that maybe she would tell him this was all a joke, she turned around and walked towards the door. Sam knew he had to do something, he couldn't let her walk out like that. So he practically ran across the living room and grabbed her arm so he could turn her around. When she was facing him again he put his hand on her neck and pulled her mouth to his. He put everything he had into that kiss and even though she protested for a moment, when he didn't let go he felt her kissing back. When the doorbell rang again she backed away and rested her forehead against his. _

''_Please don't hate me,'' she begged. _

''_Please don't do this,'' he begged back. _

''_I love you,'' she said quietly before pressing her lips to his one last time. ''Please believe that, I really love you more than anything.'' _

_Sam watched as she picked up the bag she dropped when he had kissed her. Without looking back she walked out of his house._

_He didn't even know how long he stood frozen to the spot he was in. He was brought back to life when he heard the phone ringing. For a moment he had hope that it was her, that she knew she was making a mistake. That she was calling to ask him if he could pick her up and they could talk about it. _

_When he checked the caller ID he noticed it was Sarah. He decided to let it ring. _

_The next morning he woke up with the worst hang over in the world. He was lying on the couch and came to the conclusion he drank way too much when he saw the empty scotch bottle. He picked up his cell phone, but there were no missing calls. _

_When he sat up he felt his head pound and he groaned when he moved again. He quickly dialled her number and was disappointed when it went to voicemail immediately. _

''_Andy, I don't know what happened, but just know that I will wait until you sort out whatever it is you're going through. You can't just throw away our relationship over nothing. So please come back so we can talk about things okay? Bye, I love you,'' he ended the phone call. _

_He didn't even recognize what he was saying. Sam Swarek didn't beg, he didn't need anybody. But ever since he met her he did seemed to need someone. And now she was throwing that away without giving him a clear reason. _

_Sam believed she would come back. She probably got spooked or she just needed some time for herself to realize that they belonged together. That hope was shattered when he came home three weeks later and she had packed up the rest of her stuff. _

_It was as if she never even moved in, she neatly erased every evidence of the fact that she used to live there. When he came home that night he erased her number from his cell phone, he punched the wall a few times and after that he called Boyd asking if he was too late to accept the undercover anyway. Because why stay when there is nothing left to stay for?_

_XX_

''I tried to warn you for that,'' a voice brought him back to reality.

''How long has she been here?'' Sam asked Jerry. His voice a little lower than it normally was.

''About six weeks. We don't really know why she came to this division of all places. Maybe she thought you left?''

''Yeah, maybe,'' Sam said. ''Doesn't matter. We're over.''

''Sam,'' Jerry tried. He had known Sam for a long time and whatever happened a year ago, he could tell Sam wasn't as cool about it as he acted to be.

''Jerry, seriously. She wants to be here, she has a right to be here, I don't care.''

''Okay,'' Jerry said, obviously Sam didn't want to talk about it.

''Shaw,'' Sam yelled across the barn. ''I could use a ride, you free?''

''Anything for you brother,'' Oliver said before grabbing the keys of the cruiser and motioning to Sam that he should follow him.

While Sam was walking to the parking lot he couldn't help but glance in the direction Andy ran off too. Why was she here? And the question that had been bothering him for a year: why did she leave in the first place?

XX

Authors note: Continue, don't continue?  
Let me know if you liked it and if I should continue this story!


	2. Chapter 2

Wow!  
Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. Keeps me motivated to keep on writing, one of the reasons this chapter is up so quick. (that and the fact I have a day off and I'm too lazy to even leave the house.)

Here's chapter two. I know you are all curious to know why Andy left, I promise she had her reasons. They will be explained later in the story. (I also promise she won't show up at Sam's with a baby that's his)

XX

Sam sat on his sisters porch. He went to St. Catherines two days after he came back from his undercover assignment. First he had to take a beating from Sarah, she was not too happy with his latest undercover. Mostly she wasn't happy with the duration of his latest undercover.

''I'm sorry I hit you,'' Sarah said while she moved to sit next to him. ''But if I would disappear for a year to take down some big criminal, well I think you would be upset with me too.''

Sam chuckled and let out a breath. ''Yeah, I guess so,'' he said. Sarah moved her hand to his shoulder and squeezed it.

''You want to talk about it?'' she asked.

''Not much to tell, I worked for the guy until he trusted me, worked my way up and gathered information about where he got his drugs, where he sold it, you know.''

''Your job wasn't really what I was referring too,'' Sarah said while giving him a look that meant she was willing to sit here all night long if it meant he would finally talk to her. Talking to her about Andy, he avoided Sarah after she left him. Sarah found out Andy had left him when she called Jerry to ask if he knew how Sam was doing undercover and if he had any idea why she couldn't get a hold of Andy.

''There's not much to say about that either,'' Sam said. ''She left, I don't know why.''

''You seemed happy,'' Sarah said. Sam closed his eyes and thought back to his relationship with Andy. He thought they were happy, he was.

''I was,'' he said. ''But she probably wasn't, I don't really know what happened. Maybe there was someone else. She said there wasn't, but thinking back she was acting different for weeks.''

''Different how?'' Sarah asked. ''I don't believe she was unhappy. The last time I saw the two of you she definitely wasn't unhappy.''

''She was jumpy, she flinched every time I touched her. I tried talking to her, but she said she was fine.'' Sam hated that word, fine. She always said she was fine, she would always talk his ears off, but she refused to talk about what was going on in her head. ''You want to know the biggest joke of it all?'' Sam asked. ''She's working at fifteenth right now.'' Sam let out a sarcastic laugh and shook his head. ''She's a rook at my workplace.''

''You think she's there for you?'' Sarah asked.

''You are really enjoying this sharing thing aren't you?'' Sam asked his sister.

''Well, let's not pretend you would have told me all this without the alcohol intake you had this evening, but yeah I like talking to you. I just hate to see you miserable.''

''I'm not miserable,'' Sam protested. ''She left and that's that. I spent a year undercover, I'm over her and if she's at fifteenth for me than she's wasting her time.''

''I really liked her,'' Sarah said. ''She made you happy. I worried a lot less about you when she moved in with you. I knew she would take care of you and look after you.''

''Yeah, well look how well that turned out.'' Sam said getting angry.

''You still love her,'' Sarah said. It wasn't a question, she just stated it. She knew her brother well enough to know he still cared deeply for Andy. She might have broken his heart, but she was also the first one that opened that heart in the first place.

''I don't even know who the hell she is,'' Sam said. ''She was too young, I should have seen it coming.''

''Her age doesn't have anything to do with it,'' Sarah said. ''The first time you brought her here I definitely thought you lost your mind dating someone her age, but she was mature. More mature than you on some occasions. I'm not saying she did the right thing, but you don't know her motives. I don't believe she just threw away your relationship for nothing.''

''Who's side are you on?'' Sam asked.

''Yours,'' Sarah said calmly being used to her brothers temper. ''I just think I got to know her over the years and I don't believe she would just throw away what you guys had over nothing. Something happened and if you want her back you need to figure out what it is.''

''I don't want her back.''

''You're lying,'' Sarah tested him.

''Fine, I don't want to want her back,'' Sam yelled. ''I'm tired, done. She made her decision and that's it. It was what it was, I just need to look at her as a colleague and not as my ex.''

''You think you can do that?'' Sarah asked genuinely concerned for her brother. Normally he wouldn't even talk to her about his friends, now he was pouring his heart out about his romantic life.

''Of course I can,'' Sam shrugged.

''Because you are Sam Swarek and you are awesome?'' Sarah asked rolling her eyes.

''Because we are Swareks and because we are awesome,'' Sam said giving her his first honest smile since he arrived that afternoon.

''Technically I am a Roberts now,'' Sarah said smiling.

''Yeah, your birth certificate says Swarek, so we'll stick with that,'' Sam said before letting out a yawn. ''I'm going to go to bed. Still have to get used to this new rhythm.''

''New rhythm? You mean sleeping during the night and being up during the day?'' Sarah teased. ''Yeah, I can see how that would be extremely difficult for you.''

''Hey, drug addicts don't really have normal sleeping patterns,'' Sam shot back.

''Yeah, yeah. Let's not talk about what you did during those nights because I would still like to sleep and I think knowing whatever you've been up too would keep me from ever sleeping again. It's not like I don't already worry enough about you.''

''Sorry Sare,'' Sam said genuinely. He moved up to hug his sister. ''It's good to be back.''

''Good to have you back too.''

XX

Two years earlier

_He was riding with Shaw when they got a call for a robbery at a diner. It was late at night so Toronto was dark. Oliver flicked on the siren as Sam made a turn to rush to the diner. When they reached it the paramedics were already there._

''_Anybody got hurt?'' Oliver asked one of the medics while taking in the scene in front of him. There was glass everywhere and on the counter was a girl sitting, getting checked out by another medic. _

''_Yeah, the robber,'' the guy said. ''Apparently the waitress had a superhero moment and hit him on the head with a vase. Knocked him out before he could run away with the money. He hit her before that, but it looks like she'll be just fine.'' _

''_That her?'' Sam asked as he moved his head over to the girl at the counter. _

''_Yeah,'' the medic replied before walking away. _

_Oliver went to take the statement of a customer while Sam walked over to the waitress. He waited until the medic was done before stepping in. _

''_Miss, I'm officer Swarek I would like to ask you a few questions about what happened tonight,'' he started. _

''_Is the guy okay?'' the girl asked him with her eyes big. _

''_Sorry?'' Sam asked. He definitely didn't see that one coming. _

''_Is he going to be okay? I didn't mean to hit him so hard, but I think I just hit the wrong spot on his head because seriously I didn't even put my weight behind it.''_

_Sam took in the girl in front of him, she was young, early twenties probably. If she did put her weight behind it, it probably wouldn't have made a difference seeing the lack of weight. ''Miss, he'll be okay. He just blacked out, maybe a concussion but nothing to serious.'' _

''_Okay, that's good,'' the girl said obviously relieved. ''I was only defending myself. He had a gun, but I don't know if it was real or loaded, but still there were a lot of people here and I felt like I had to do something. I didn't even really think about it I just hit him with that vase. He even hit me first, look I've got a bruise to prove it,'' she pointed at her cheek. ''That's self defence right?'' _

_Sam tried to focus again, most of the time he needed to get people to talk, but that would not be an issue with this girl. ''Yes miss, that's self defence. There were witnesses here and if they confirm your story than you have nothing to worry about.'' _

''_Andy,'' she interrupted again. _

''_Sorry?'' Sam asked again. _

''_Not miss, Andy. My name is Andy.'' _

''_Okay Andy, let's just work on your statement okay? What were you doing when the guy entered?''_

_Sam took her statement asking questions she answered without hesitation. She knew exactly where everybody was at what time and how the robber tried to attack her. When Sam was done taking her statement he walked back to Oliver. They had enough to book the guy once he was released from the hospital so they wrapped up at the restaurant. _

_Sam looked back at Andy one more time, Oliver caught him staring and laughed. ''She's a little young for you don't you think?'' _

''_Shut up,'' Sam said. ''Just feel like I saw her before.'' _

''_Andy McNally,'' Oliver said once he looked again. _

''_Yeah,'' Sam said. He had checked her ID card to make sure he got all her information right. ''How do you know that?'' _

''_Tommy's kid,'' Oliver explained. ''He has a picture on his desk, she matured a little, but I would recognize those eyes anywhere.'' _

_Sam looked back again and nodded. After tonight he was pretty sure he would too. _

_The next day he had a day off, but he decided to make a stop at the restaurant. He wanted to make sure she was still okay after a good night of sleep. She seemed so tough yesterday, but it probably was scary to get attacked in a place where you should feel safe. _

_When he entered the restaurant he saw she was sitting in her normal clothes, she was sitting at the bar with books in front of her. He slowly moved to the barstool next to her and tried to get her attention without startling her. _

''_Hey,'' he said. _

_She looked up from her book and smiled. ''Hey, what are you doing here?'' _

''_Just wanted to make sure you were alright?'' Sam asked her. _

''_Did they change the job description for cops? Because I don't believe checking up on victims on your free day was in there the last time I checked.'' _

''_Your Tommy's daughter,'' Sam said. ''I work with him, wanted to make sure you are okay.'' _

_Andy nodded and Sam was sure he saw shame on her face. He heard a few rumors about the old T.O. and he had spent enough nights at the penny to know that there was at least some truth in those rumors. Like many cops Tommy had turned to the bottle for comfort. _

''_I'm okay,'' she said. ''Will look ugly for a while with this on my face,'' she gestured towards the bruise. ''But I'm not like scarred for life or anything.'' _

''_You're not ugly,'' Sam said. When he saw the way she looked at him he was sure he turned a little red. ''And I'm glad to hear that,'' he quickly added. ''You're not working today?'' he asked trying to make conversation. Another waitress came by and took his order, he settled for just a coffee and asked Andy if she wanted anything as well. She told her colleague she'd have a coffee too. _

''_I'm working the late shift again, but I always come in early so I can study.'' She lifted one of her books and put it back down again. ''I can't study if it's completely quiet so I like the sounds here.'' _

_Sam chuckled, he would have guessed she didn't like silence after yesterday. She didn't seem to be in shock and yet she kept rambling on. When she stood up again later that day and announced she had to change before her shift, Sam checked his watch. He noticed he had spent more than two hours talking to her. _

''_I'm sorry I kept you from studying, I didn't mean to,'' Sam started. _

''_It's okay, I liked talking to you,'' she smiled at him. _

''_Me too,'' he admitted. ''I'd better go now.'' Sam grabbed his jacket and pulled out his wallet. He dropped a few bills on the counter to pay for his and Andy's coffees and turned around to walk out of the restaurant. _

_After that day he came to the restaurant more often. Sometimes Andy was working and he would talk to her whenever she had a free moment. Sometimes she was studying and they would talk while she tried to get some work done._

One night the boss was gone and Andy had to close up on her own. Sam didn't like the idea of her being alone in a restaurant late at night so he told her he'd help her. They worked together to clean the place and when Andy locked the door and turned around to him he took her hand in his while his other hand cupped her cheek. 

_He slowly moved in, giving her enough time to back out, but when she didn't he softly pressed his lips to hers. He meant it to be a sweet and short kiss, but when she opened her mouth he slipped his tongue in and the kiss got more passionate. _

_When the need for air became too big, Sam broke the kiss and nudged her nose with his own. ''It's possible I've wanted to do that for a while,'' he admitted. He knew he was starting to like her when he kept returning to the diner to drink coffee, the coffee wasn't even that good. He knew she was younger than he was. He was 28 and she was only 20. She basically was a teenager, but she didn't act like one and didn't look like one either. _

''_Maybe you should do it again,'' Andy said tilting her head up as an invitation. Sam took it and they kissed like that for a few moments before she broke the kiss. ''I need to get home,'' she said. ''I've got early classes tomorrow.'' _

''_Let me drive you home,'' Sam offered. When she hesitated for a moment he reassured her. ''Just a ride Andy, I promise.'' _

_She smiled and nodded. ''Yeah, that would be nice it's freezing.'' _

''_Oh it's cold,'' Sam agreed. _

''_It would be practically inhuman if you made me walk all the way home.'' _

''_We definitely can't have that,'' Sam agreed again before pulling her to his side and placing a kiss on the top of her head. _

_After that night he took her out on a date, after the first date there was a second date, a third and before he knew it he was in a committed relationship. He didn't plan for it to go so fast, he definitely didn't plan to fall for a twenty year old. The daughter of a superior officer for that matter, but he did. _

_The way she cared for everybody she crossed paths with, the way she wouldn't stop talking, ever.. it all got to him and he fell for it. Tommy didn't object to their relationship, but Sam sometimes wondered if the guy was aware of him at all. He saw the toll her dad's drinking had on Andy, so when it became too much for her after a year of dating, he asked her to move in with him. He had a house that was big enough for the two of them so she picked up all her stuff from her dad's place and moved in with him. _

_XX_

Sam walked into 15th division again. He had spent a few days at Sarah's, he had talked to the department shrink and he was cleared to work the streets again. Sam was excited he got to work with his friends again, but he dreaded to see Andy after all this time. He hated himself for not being over her yet. He had told himself he was over her, but his heart rate when he saw her last week had proved the opposite.

Sam opened his locker when he reached the locker room and started suiting up. When he was in uniform he looked in the mirror and he felt like he never left. Oliver entered and clapped him on the back.

''Looking good brother,'' Oliver said to him. ''Nice to see you can still make the uniform look almost as good as I can.''

Sam smiled and decided to fire back. ''Yeah that growing bald spot must be a huge turn on for the ladies.''

''Shut up,'' Oliver muttered while he started to suit up as well. ''I tried calling you.''

''Yeah, sorry. I was with Sarah and I had to take care of some stuff, but I'm back now.''

''Yeah,'' Oliver said. ''Are we losing you to guns and gangs again anytime soon or are you planning on sticking around?''

''We'll see,'' Sam said. ''There isn't an opening right now and if there was, I'm not sure I would want it. A year is a long time to be away from everybody.''

Oliver nodded before bringing up the subject he was dreading. ''So, you saw McNally here?''

''Yup,'' Sam said. ''I knew she was in the academy so it was a possibility she would end up here. Who's training her?''

''Me,'' Oliver said.

''Please tell me you're not giving her a hard time because of me?'' Sam asked. He didn't think Oliver would do that, but he had to check. Jerry would definitely make it hard on her, so he would need to talk to him as well. No matter what happened and what choices she made, she shouldn't have to face the consequences at work. She had the right to be trained just like any other rook without personal stuff getting in between.

''Nope, told her the first day that I don't care what happened between the two of you. Told her I expected her to be professional towards me and I would be professional towards her.''

''Good,'' Sam muttered. ''I'll see you in parade,'' he said before leaving the locker room.

Frank called him into his office and told him to sit down. ''You ready to walk the streets again?'' he asked him.

''Yes sir,'' Sam said.

''Sam, I'm sure you heard McNally works here now. And since we are short training officers you will be training the rookies as well. I'll try to keep the two of you separate for as much as I can, but I can't guarantee that will last long. I need to know if you will be able to work together, if you can be objective about her?''

''What happened between officer McNally and me is in the past,'' Sam formally said. ''It will not be an issue around the division.''

''Let me know if that changes,'' Frank warned. ''It's good to have you back Sam.''

XX

Sam didn't see much of her for the next few days. She was always partnered with Oliver while he was partnered with Peck.

Sam didn't particularly like being a training officer, but if he would have to train anybody Peck would be his first choice. She listened to what he said, she didn't do anything reckless and she kept the talking to a minimum.

The last shift on his first week back was over and he went to the Penny to have a few drinks. When he looked around at the bar he spotted her. She was wearing simple jeans and a t-shirt, but still Sam felt attracted to her immediately again. He cursed himself for it and made his way to the bar.

He tried to keep his eyes off of her, but he couldn't help but glance in her direction every now and then. He knew she was doing the same because he could feel her gaze on him. When he saw Luke Callaghan walk over to her and offering her a drink his blood started boiling. He knew he had no claim over her anymore, but he hated it when guys would hit on her. They had multiple fights over his need to protect her while she felt like she could handle it on her own.

When he had enough he picked up his jacket, said his goodbyes and paid the tab. When he walked outside he knew she was following him. He could smell her perfume, that hadn't change.

''What do you need McNally?'' he snapped at her before she even said anything. Sam turned around and saw her looking at him. She looked hurt, like he was the one that left her behind. Like he was the one that broke her heart.

''I thought maybe we should talk?'' she said. ''I know this is weird, but we're going to have to work together.''

''Why did you come to fifteenth?'' Sam asked. He didn't understand why she did that. She left him, why come and rub it in his nose when she could just as easily have gone to 27th.

''My dad used to work there and I felt like maybe I could rebuild some of the work he did,'' she shrugged.

''That's not your responsibility. He messed up, you don't need to fix that.'' Sam cursed himself for still trying to console her. He really needed to get it into his brain that she had left him, he doesn't need to protect her anymore.

''I know, just felt like the right thing to do.'' She stayed silent for a while and Sam didn't know if he should leave or talk to her some more. ''You look good,'' she said breaking the silence. ''A little thinner, but good.''

Sam shook his head and gritted his teeth. ''Let's not do this McNally,'' when he looked up to her again he saw she was fighting back tears. ''McNally, you left okay? After everything that happened between us you broke it off and you never even told me why.''

Andy sighed and closed her eyes. ''I thought I was doing the right thing,'' she said.

''The right thing?'' Sam asked. ''You left without as much as an explanation.''

''I'm sorry,'' she said.

''Yeah, so am I,'' he said before turning around and leaving her alone. He needed to get away from her. Because even though she had hurt him, when he looked at her he still felt the love he tried to push away for a year.

XX

I know you are all curious to know why she left, but I'll get there later in this story. I need a little build up towards that moment!

Let me know if you liked it!


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews I keep receiving.

Someone asked in a review if Andy left the division too when she left Sam. I thought that part would be clear, but obviously it isn't so just to clear it up..

This story takes place before 1x01. So Sam was undercover to catch Hill and Andy just started out as a rookie. That means she didn't leave the division, simply because she wasn't part of the division yet.  
She did know people from the division because they are Sam's friends and they dated for two years.

XX

Sam sighed and rubbed his hand across his face. God she was bad at this, instead of looking seductive, she looked like she could start crying any moment now. They had set up a john sweep, Andy and Gail were posing as hookers. So far she hadn't made one bust, every time someone approached her she tensed up and let the guy go.

Finally she made the signal and Vince approached the car to arrest the guy. All of the sudden he backed away again after she told him something. Oliver sighed too and signalled that McNally should meet them inside.

''If he didn't communicate a prize, than why the hell did you signal?'' Sam asked her when she stood in front of him. He kept his voice calm, professional. Even though seeing her standing in front of him in that hooker outfit did things to him he wasn't proud of.

''It was just a mistake, the guy freaked me out, it just threw me off,'' Andy explained. Sam looked at her and saw she was tense, she wasn't cut for this job and he knew it. She couldn't lie to save her life and she wasn't exactly the hooker-type.

''You're not expecting prince charming?'' Oliver laughed. Sam looked at his friend and signalled that he should cut it.

''It won't happen again,'' Andy promised.

''You okay?'' Sam asked. He hated the fact that he kept checking if she was alright, but he couldn't stop himself. He had spent the good portion of a year trying to get the hell over this girl, but when it came down to it he still would do anything to keep her safe.

''Yeah,'' Andy replied shrugging her shoulders.

''Yeah?'' Sam asked not convinced.

Andy nodded before she took off and headed for the streets again. Sam followed her with his eyes.

''She hasn't made a bust yet Sam,'' Oliver said. Sam knew she had to step up her game or she would be out of here in no time.

''I know, she'll be okay,'' Sam said.

Only she wasn't okay because she screwed up again and blew the entire operation when a guy announced to the entire street that she is a cop. Sam and Oliver got the girls inside and told them they were done for the night.

Sam knew Best would be seriously disappointed in her and he felt bad for her. She had everything it took to be a great cop, but she wasn't cut out for stings like this. He should have told Best that before they left the barn, but he didn't want to get involved with her more than he absolutely needed to be. Besides, what should he have told Best? _Hey Boss, don't make my ex-girlfriend play a hooker, she will be no good at it? _Yeah that would have been great. And even though he could have predicted she wouldn't be great at it, she was worse than he thought she would be. She actually looked afraid for the Johns, while she had back up all around her. Sam shook his head and focused on Peck, at least she was making busts.

XX

When he was back at the barn Sam passed the locker room and opened the door. She just finished changing and was tying her boots when he walked in.

''Don't beat yourself up over it,'' Sam said.

When she looked up to him his eyes met hers and he felt like someone punched him in the stomach. She looked down again and nodded. ''Yeah, I know. I should have done better, I know. I don't know what got into me, I just freaked.''

''You just started out, it's okay to make mistakes,'' Sam promised. He moved to get out of the locker room again. He didn't even know why he went in there in the first place, he was just lucky she was the only one in there.

When he reached the door she called out his name. He turned around and saw she was standing too. She had that helpless expression on her face again, Sam was reminded once again how young she was. She was always acting like the responsible grown up, her childhood forced her to do so, but every now and then when she was with him she let her guard down and acted her age. He remembered how she would love it when he would take care of her, make her dinner, bring her breakfast, that sort of thing.

''Sam, just..'' she started. She looked lost for words and walked towards him. ''Just thank you for not stirring up trouble for me.''

''McNally, I have no intention,'' Sam started. He didn't want to mess anything up for her. Sure she broke his heart, but he wasn't out for revenge. If she was unhappy with him than she needed to leave, he still wished her the best.

''Just thank you,'' she said before shrugging her shoulders. ''I know you didn't ask for me here.''

''It's fine,'' Sam lied. ''We're both adults, we can make it work.'' After that he told her goodbye and he left the barn.

XX

_They had been on three dates and tonight would be their fourth. She was embarrassed about her dad and Sam suspected that she didn't want her father to know about them just yet, that was the reason why he agreed on meeting her at the restaurant instead of picking her up. _

_She had picked out the restaurant, Sam had paid for the previous dates and she insisted she would pay for this one. The restaurant wasn't anything special, but it fitted her. When she entered the restaurant Sam smiled at her, a smile she returned. She was wearing jeans, heels and a blue top. Her hair was down and she looked casual, yet beautiful. _

''_Hey,'' Sam said while he stood up so he could kiss her. ''You look nice,'' he complimented. _

''_Thanks, you look good too,'' she said with a shy smile. _

_Sam had noticed that before, every time he would compliment her she would turn red and quickly change the subject. She was shy about it and Sam secretly loved that about her. She wasn't someone who was aware of her beauty and used it to gain something from it. _

_They ate dinner while talking about their day. When Sam told her about a case he had been working on with the D's, she seemed genuinely interested. Sam wasn't used to that, he didn't date a lot, but every girl he ever dated didn't want to hear about law enforcement. Andy was actually interested. _

''_I want to be a cop someday,'' she admitted. _

_Sam was a little surprised by that. After everything her father went through it didn't seem like the most logical step. ''Yeah?'' he asked keeping his eyes on her. _

''_I think that maybe I would be good at it. I would love to help people and make the world a little safer you know?'' She said smiling. ''Maybe you think I'm an idiot,'' she quickly added before shrugging it off. _

''_No, I don't,'' he promised. ''If it's something you want I'm sure you'll be great at it.'' Sam took her hand and interlaced their fingers on the table. ''You want to start the academy after you are done with school?'' Sam asked. _

''_I think I would like that,'' She smiled. _

_After she paid for dinner they walked to his truck. ''You want to come back to my place?'' he asked. ''It's still early, we could have a drink or watch some TV.'' He noticed the hesitation in her eyes and quickly spoke up again. ''Or I can drive you back to your place, that's fine too.'' _

_She shook her head. ''No, you're right it's early. Let's go.'' _

_Sam helped her into his truck and moved around it to get to the driver's seat. While he was driving he took her hand in his. _

_She had been to his house before, but only briefly so when he entered he gave her a tour and told her to get comfortable on the couch. When he came back from the kitchen with a beer for him and a soda for her he sat down next to her. He flipped on the TV and she laid her head on his shoulder. _

_When he found a TV-show she thought was funny, he put down the remote and put his arm around her. After about halve an hour the show was over and she sat up to straighten her back. Sam cupped her cheek and pulled her mouth down to his. They had kissed before, but never went beyond that. Sam kept reminding himself that she was young and even though she had told him she had boyfriends before, he didn't want to do anything to make her feel pressured or uncomfortable. _

_When she slowly opened her mouth Sam let his tongue slip in and massaged her tongue with his. His one hand went to her neck, keeping her close while the other moved to her waist. They stayed like that until the need for air became too big. When they broke apart Sam angled her head so he could reach her neck with his mouth. He gently sucked and nipped at her skin and when she moaned he nudged her back so she would lie down. _

_When she was on her back Sam moved to lie on top of her and he kissed her again. She kissed him back with just as much passion as he was giving her. Sam let his hand move under the material of her shirt and felt how soft the skin of her stomach was. He pushed up the shirt a little further and when she didn't protest he took it off of her. She was wearing a simple black bra and Sam moved to kiss the newly exposed flesh. He took off his own shirt too and she put her hands on his chest as soon as the shirt was thrown away. _

_When Sam's hands popped open the button of her jeans and he opened the zipper, he felt her tense a little. Sam moved his hands back up to her hair and gave her one last kiss before sitting up again. _

''_Come on, let me drive you home,'' he said. _

_She looked self-conscious and nodded. Sam didn't want to leave it at that so he pulled her to him again and kissed her gently. ''Don't worry about it,'' he promised. _

''_I'm sorry,'' she said with a flush on her cheeks. ''It's just..''_

_He silenced her with another kiss and used his hands to close her jeans again. ''Seriously, don't worry about it. We'll move at your pace okay?'' _

''_Thank you,'' she said with a small smile on her face. _

_Three weeks later they were back in a similar position. She had asked him if it was okay if she spent the night at his place. Her dad was in a bad place again and she just didn't have the energy to deal with it. This time she was the one that pulled off his shirt first. She moved to straddle him and kissed his neck as she started working on his belt. _

''_Andy, stop,'' Sam said before taking her hands in his own. She looked hurt, rejected when he had stopped her. He brushed the strand of hair out of her face and kissed her softly on her lips. ''Are you sure this is what you want?'' he asked. He didn't want her to sleep with him because she wanted to forget what was going on at home. Or maybe she was doing it because she somehow felt like she owed it to him, he wouldn't even consider letting her go through with it in that case. _

''_Yes,'' she nodded. He kept her head in place with his hands so he could look her in the eye. There wasn't any doubt in her eyes so he kissed her again. _

_When he released her hands she moved them to the hem of her shirt, slowly pulling it off her body. Sam locked her legs behind him and stood up, walking them towards his bedroom. When he reached it he gently lowered her on the bed. _

_When she was lying down he crawled on top of her and started kissing her neck again. Her hands flew up to his hair keeping him exactly where she wanted him the most. When she pulled on his head he obeyed and attached his mouth to hers again. _

_She gently pushed him so he would lie on his back and straddled him for the second time that evening. Her hair fell across his head like a curtain when she swept her tongue over his bottom lip, asking for entrance. She moved her hands down to his belt again, this time he didn't stop her when she got rid of it. _

_Together they removed all their clothes. And an hour later she was lying on top of him, completely spent. She kissed him lazily again and he ran his hands across her bare back. _

''_You're amazing,'' he promised her. _

''_You're not too bad yourself either mister,'' she said with a smile on her face. They made out for a few moments before she rolled off of him. She laid down next to him and put her head on his chest, her fingers playing with the hairs on it. _

''_You okay?'' he asked after he pressed a kiss to her temple. _

''_Yeah, perfect,'' she smiled. _

_XX_

Sam was at his first poker night since he got back from his undercover job. Oliver, Jerry, Frank and himself were sitting at Jerry's kitchen table playing the third round of the evening. It was a little weird now that Frank was their boss, but he had assured them that whatever was said during private conversations, would stay private.

Everybody was getting pretty drunk, but Sam cut himself off for the night. He had to drive home and lately he had been drinking more than was good for him. He didn't want to lose himself to alcohol so he restricted himself from it.

''So, I hear you got a new interest in interview room 1,'' Oliver said to Jerry.

Jerry spat out the gulp of beer he just took and looked at Frank. ''You're not fooling anybody,'' Frank said while shaking his head. ''It's frowned upon, but not against the rules. You're not training her so you are free to date her, just keep it out of my division from now on.''

Sam looked between his friends, obviously he had missed something while he was undercover. Oliver looked at Sam and noticed he didn't know what they were talking about. ''Our friend Barber here fell for one of the rooks.''

Now it was Sam's time to spit out his drink. There only were three female rookies and if he heard the rumors right Diaz and Peck were a thing. That left two rookies and while he knew Jerry was his best friend and he wouldn't do something like this to him, he needed it confirmed.

''Nash,'' Jerry muttered. ''We've been seeing each other for a few weeks now.''

Sam quickly cleaned himself up and nodded. He stood up to get some paper towels from the kitchen, when he heard someone follow he knew it was Jerry.

''So, you've probably been sneaking around with her since she was in the academy?'' Sam asked. He knew his friend and his definition of 'a few weeks' would probably not be correct.

''Yeah, well. Let's not tell Frank about that,'' Jerry said. ''Actually there's something I would like to talk to you about.''

''What is it?'' Sam asked. Jerry's tone betrayed that this was a serious topic.

''Look, Nash is pretty good friends with McNally,'' Jerry started. ''And she told me Callaghan is interested in her. Just wanted you to know.''

Sam composed himself and shrugged his shoulders. He tried to be as nonchalant as possible, this actually didn't come as a surprise. Callaghan always went for the new pretty rookies and Andy definitely fit that bill. ''She's an adult, she can do whatever she wants,'' he told his friend.

''Traci says she is not interested, but just in case something changes... Just be prepared to see her with someone else okay?'' Jerry tried again.

''I am, we're over I accepted that. Come on, you've got some money to win back,'' Sam said.

XX

Sam looked over at the cruiser and shook his head. ''You were way out of line back there,'' he told Gail. ''That woman was attacked, it's our job to make her feel safe again, but you made her feel like she made a mistake.''

''She did make a mistake,'' Gail spat out.

''Peck,'' Sam warned. ''If she doesn't want to press charges than there is nothing we can do about it. We will file this complaint and if it happens again in the future we'll have our notes.''

''Come on,'' Gail said. ''You think it's normal that someone beats the crap out of his girlfriend?''

''It's not normal, but it's not our job to judge, it's our job to protect.'' Sam was getting really tired of Peck's attitude. He knew being a Peck meant you had to prove yourself twice as hard, but she was working a little too hard if you asked him.

''And how are we protecting her? We are letting her stay with him.''

''That is her decision. That doesn't mean I like it, but there's nothing more we could have done. You let the victim know they can contact you if they change their minds, but you don't tell them what to do.''

Gail crossed her arms before her chest and rolled her eyes. ''Won't happen again sir,'' she muttered.

Sam quickly drove them over to a diner to grab lunch. Gail offered to pay for his lunch and now it was his turn to roll his eyes. They should have partnered her with Oliver, it would be a match made in heaven. While Sam was happy with Peck as his rookie at first, her attitude started to bother him. Not only that, every time she made a mistake she would spent the rest of the day sucking up, Sam really didn't care for that either.

By the end of that day Sam was more than happy to dump Peck behind a desk and let her take care of the paperwork. Peck self seemed a little bit less pleased with that idea, but Sam couldn't care less. He went to the coffee machine and was met by Oliver.

''Slow day huh?'' Oliver asked him.

''Yeah, nothing major,'' Sam said.

''Me neither, at least I got a good laugh out of this day,'' Oliver shrugged.

Sam knew Andy probably screwed something up, because Oliver's entertainment was usually at the cost of one of the rookies. ''What did she do?'' Sam asked.

''She thought it was a good idea to arrest a drunk. Only she didn't exactly keep her distance so when he threw up, well..most of it landed on her.'' Oliver grinned again and then his voice got serious again. ''Seriously Sammy, got any ideas about how to remove vomit smell from a car?''

Sam knew he shouldn't, but it actually made him feel slightly better. ''No, sorry buddy. Maybe you can give McNally a bucket and a sponge?''

''Or I'll tell Frank to give you that particular cruiser tomorrow?'' Oliver suggested.

''Nice talking to you buddy,'' Sam said before turning around.

XX

Andy opened the room of interview one, Jerry was sitting there with notes about a case.

''Oh, sorry,'' Andy muttered before closing the door again.

''McNally,'' Jerry called her back. ''What are you looking for?''

''Oliver,'' Andy answered with a nervous smile. Out of all the people at 15th, Jerry was the one who was giving her the hardest time. She understood that he was just standing up for his friend, but at least Oliver had the decency to be civil to her. When Jerry looked at her with a disapproving look she quickly corrected herself. ''Sorry, I mean officer Shaw.''

''Actually I've been meaning to talk to you,'' Jerry said gesturing to her that she should close the door. Andy nervously did what he wanted and looked back at him.

''Something wrong?'' she asked.

''What are you doing here?'' Jerry asked.

''I told you, I was looking for officer Shaw,'' Andy said again.

''Not in this room, here at this division,'' Jerry specified.

''Sir,'' Andy said trying to stay professional. ''I am here to do my job and so far I've proven I'm good at it so I would appreciate it if we could keep personal issues outside of the division.''

''Are you going to screw him around again?'' Jerry asked.

''Sorry?'' Andy said. ''I don't think my personal relationships are any of your business.'' Andy was fighting really hard to stay professional. Sure, Sam was his best friend but he didn't know her and he didn't have the right to judge her as a cop.

''They are if they involve my best friend and you hurting him,'' Jerry told her in the calm tone he usually used with suspects.

''I never intended to hurt him,'' Andy said trying to stay calm too. ''Believe me when I say that hurting him was the last thing I ever wanted to do.'' Andy's eyes started to fill with tears and she tried to fight them back. She had cried enough over this, it was over, done.

''Do you know he never told anybody he loved them before you?'' Jerry asked raising his voice just a little.

Andy looked down at the floor and slowly nodded while she was biting her bottom lip.

''He never shared stuff like that with anybody, not even Sarah.'' Jerry paused again for a moment and looked at the girl in front of him. ''Nobody understands why you left him like that. There wasn't even a sign of trouble. Do you know what you did to him? You made him feel useless, like he was just a welcome distraction for you. Like you didn't give a damn about him, but he was just convenient because he provided for you.''

Andy wanted to protest, but she knew it was useless. Of course Sam provided for her while they were living together, but she paid for stuff too. ''I never meant for that to happen,'' she whispered. ''I love him so much.''

''Then why leave?'' Jerry asked her. ''It's a simple question that you've not been able to answer so far. Do you have any idea what you have put him through? Before you he never cared about dating or having a life with someone. Before you his job was his life, but somehow you managed to change him. Only to break him apart and leave him alone.''

''I did it for him,'' Andy answered while one tear slipped. She quickly erased it with her shirt, hoping that Jerry wouldn't see it. ''I know nobody believes me, but by leaving I was protecting him.''

''Well, you did a good job,'' Jerry sarcastically said. ''He's not the same person he was a year ago and we've got you to thank for that.''

Andy bit her lip, she wanted so badly to tell Jerry that she did in fact protect Sam. But now a year after she left, she wasn't so sure she made the right call. She wasn't happy with how things were and Sam didn't seem happy about anything either.

''I never meant to hurt him,'' she repeated again. ''I really thought it was the best move, I'm sorry.''

Andy ran away from the interview room and away from Jerry.

XX

After her second shower that day Andy sat down on the bench in the locker room again. Her first shower was before the Jerry incident, after the vomit incident. Her second shower took place after she was done with the paperwork Oliver saved for her. She knew she probably didn't need that second shower, but the vomit smell still lingered in her nose.

''God,'' Gail groaned as she walked inside the locker room too. ''By the way he talks about it, you would think it actually would kill him to pick up a rapport every now and then.''

Andy opened her locker and pulled out her jeans. She didn't really want to talk about Sam with Gail. Andy only told Traci about her relationship with Sam, she was sure the other rookies would have picked up some of the rumors, but they were wise enough to keep their mouths shut.

''Seriously, is he like that all the time?'' Gail asked.

''What?'' Andy asked. ''I don't know, haven't been partnered with him.''

''No, but you lived with him. He made you do all the work there too?''

Andy took in a big gulp of air. She had gotten really good at avoiding her past with Sam, but today everybody kept bringing it up.

''Oh come on, you think you would be able to keep that a secret?'' Gail asked in her sweetest voice. ''Everybody at the barn talks about the rookie that sent Swarek straight into a deep undercover.''

Andy remained silent and tried to avoid Gail's gaze.

''Look Andy,'' Gail said again. ''I'm not trying to be a bitch..''

Andy snorted and let out a sarcastic laugh, sometimes she seriously wondered what Chris saw in her.

''I'm not, I'm actually just trying to warn you for what people might think, or say.'' Gail unbuttoned her shirt and opened her locker. ''I can see what you saw in him. He's kind of adorable in a bossy rough trade kind of way.''

Andy felt a pang of jealousy when Gail made that comment. She knew Gail was with Chris, but still the thought of Sam with someone else made her nauseous.

''He bossy in the sack too?'' Gail asked with a smirk on your face.

''Completely inappropriate,'' Andy muttered as she closed her locker and walked away from Gail.

XX

Please tell me what you think!

I'm thinking about revealing Andy's reasons the next chapter or the one after that. Too soon?


	4. Chapter 4

Okay seriously, the reviews are incredible!

I hope you'll guys agree with the path I'm taking this story.

This chapter is actually double the words of the first chapter, but something tells me you guys don't

mind that.

XX

''Sammy,'' Sam heard someone yelling when he entered the barn. He looked up and saw Donovan Boyd standing on the stairs that led to Frank's office. ''Sammy, we need you in here for a moment.''

Sam slowly followed Boyd into Frank's office and sat down in the chair that was across from Frank's. ''What's up Boss?'' Sam casually asked, even though the presence of Boyd already told him what the plan was.

''A new undercover,'' Boyd announced. ''Ever heard of James Brennan?''

Sam had actually, but he was unimpressed with that name. ''Jamie Brennan?''Sure, the guy had some heavy accusations on his name, but every witness ended up dead. Sam had seen some of the files and pictures, most of the victims weren't even recognisable after Jamie was done with them.

Boyd nodded to confirm the name. He looked hopeful, like Sam was a sure thing for this case. Sam on the other hand, was not sure a new undercover would be the way to go right now.

''Forget it man, he's out of the life, has been for years. It's all about the wife, the kid and the two car garage in Brampton.''

''Not anymore,'' Boyd said when he opened a file. He showed Sam a picture of a car that was totally burned out. ''Wife and daughter were killed in a car accident two months ago. Intel is saying Jamie isn't doing so well.'' Sam thought Boyd actually looked smug about it, like it's a good think an innocent woman and child died.

''And you think now might be a good time to try and work him?'' Sam asked him, his head spinning like crazy. He wasn't sure what to do with this, three years ago he would jump at the chance. A year ago he actually jumped at the chance, but right now he wasn't sure. An undercover would take his mind of all the McNally drama, but it would also mean not seeing Sarah again for a long time. No more poker nights with the guys, all those things he already missed for so long.

''Sammy, this guy is an enforcer, he's a serious player. This could be our only chance. I'm putting together a team of people that know the case.''

''When?'' Maybe if it was in the not so near future, it would be a good opportunity.

''Couple weeks.'' Donovan answered with the same smug expression.

''Couple weeks?'' Sam asked. ''I've been back a couple of weeks, I'm not even used to sleeping in my own bed.'' Sam looked over at Frank who had been witnessing their conversation without interfering.

''It's up to you,'' Frank answered. ''If you want the job I'll have to get someone transferred to 15th.''

Sam sighed and ran his hand across his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. ''Not right now, it's not the right time.''

''You said that the last time too,'' Boyd answered. ''You called me six weeks later practically begging me for the spot.''

''Yeah, that was different,'' Sam answered. Back then he turned the job down because he didn't want to leave Andy, that definitely was not a problem right now. ''It just isn't the right job for me, I just got home. Haven't even went through all my mail yet, it's too soon.''

''This is one hell of an opportunity Sam,'' Boyd said. ''If you turn it down, well let's say I'm not sure your name would pop into my head the next time we need someone.''

''I'll think about it,'' Sam said, obviously not impressed by Boyd's threat. He knew Boyd loved to show everybody who was the boss. At first Sam had a lot of respect for the guy, probably too much. He saw himself in his position a few years from now. Now he had actually worked with the guy for a year, Sam's opinion changed a little. Boyd was a good detective, but his methods weren't always respectable.

''I need your answer before the end of the week,'' Boyd yelled. ''You need to do this Sam, this job has your name written all over it.''

''Like I said, I'll think about it,'' Sam said before standing up. ''You needed anything else?'' he asked his attention shifting to Frank.

''No, you think about it and let me know as soon as you make a decision. I've got to make the appropriate phone calls if you decide to go.''

''Okay boss,'' Sam said before leaving Frank's office. He was still processing everything that was just said to him when he saw Nash storming towards the female locker room. After Nash he saw Diaz walking towards the female locker room, he stood before the door obviously in doubt if he could enter it without stirring up trouble. Sam frowned and shook his head, the rookies really did get crazier by the year. When he reached the coffee machine he saw Jerry pouring a cup of coffee for himself.

''Thank you, just what I needed,'' Sam said as he stole Jerry's coffee. When Jerry looked offended Sam gave him a dimpled smile.

''Anything for you buddy,'' Jerry sarcastically replied.

''What's up with your girlfriend?'' Sam asked Jerry.

''What do you mean?'' Jerry asked surprised. ''We drove together to work, she seemed fine.'' Jerry poured another coffee and fixed it just the way he liked it. ''She say anything to you?''

''No, just saw her running towards the female locker room, probably some weird rookie thing, because Diaz followed seconds after that.''

''Diaz entered the female locker room? He didn't look up if that was allowed?'' Jerry joked. Even though the rookies were there less than three months, their reputations were already spread through the division. Nash was known as the normal one, Epstein as the overenthusiastic screw up, Diaz was the rule follower, Peck was the promising legacy cop with an attitude and McNally was the daughter of the once golden detective and of course the girl that screwed over Sam Swarek.

''I think if we go look he will still be standing there, wondering if he's allowed to go in.'' Sam said laughing. When someone clapped him on the back he turned around and saw Oliver standing there.

''Great, thanks,'' Oliver said as he took the coffee out of Jerry's hands, just before he wanted to take a first gulp. Jerry rolled his eyes, but didn't even protest anymore. ''Anybody know what's up with the rooks?'' Oliver continued. ''McNally looked like someone stole her favorite doll and ran away to the locker room when Diaz put his arm around her.''

''I don't know man, they seriously are weirder this year than the last few years combined,'' Jerry said.

When Oliver and Sam shot him a glare he continued. ''Traci isn't so bad,'' he quickly added. ''She's actually very mature. But seriously, do you know they all sleep together?''

Sam's eyes widened and when he looked next to him he saw Oliver chocking on his coffee. ''Not sleeping together – sleeping together,'' Jerry quickly said. ''Just like a sleepover kind of thing, like they're 12.''

''Epstein could be 12,'' Oliver said. ''And I remember you waking up on my couch on several occasions, so let's not mock sleepovers.''

''Well, those times weren't planned,'' Jerry said.

''Happens every poker night,'' Sam smiled. ''I think one time you actually made it to my bed before I did, what forced me to sleep on my couch.''

''Yeah, yeah,'' Jerry muttered. ''Stick up for the rooks, whatever,'' he said before taking his new coffee and walking away.

XX

''Andy?'' Traci called out into the locker room. ''Where are you?''

''Here,'' Andy said.

Traci walked around the lockers and found her best friend sitting on one of the benches with her head in her hands. ''What happened Andy? Are you okay?'' Traci asked as she moved to sit next to Andy. She put her hand on Andy's shoulder, but Andy immediately stood up and shrugged her hand away.

''I'm fine,'' Andy said. ''Just a little short of breath, I don't really know what happened.''

Traci looked at her best friend, not really believing what she was saying. ''Did anything happen?'' Traci asked concerned. ''Something with Swarek?''

''Traci, I just felt weird for a moment okay?'' Andy snapped. ''I'm just going to drink some water and I'll be fine.''

''Okay, whatever you say,'' Traci said putting her hands in the air. When there was a knock on the door of the locker room Traci stood up and opened the door.

''Is she okay?"' Chris asked. ''I don't know if I did anything, but if I did, I'm sorry.''

''She says she's fine,'' Traci said. ''What the hell happened out there?''

''I don't know,'' Chris answered. ''We were talking and she seemed fine. I made a joke and put my arm around her waist, just as a joke to Gail. All of the sudden she ran away. Swarek was in Best's office and we could see him, so maybe she thought of something that happened with him?''

''Yeah, maybe..'' Traci said, still unsure of what actually happened between Sam and Andy. Andy had told her she dated Sam, but never gave her the true reason for the break up. When she talked to Jerry about it he had some less than flattering words for her best friend. After that the McNally – Swarek relationship was of limits for Traci and Jerry. Traci didn't believe that Andy used Sam and left when the relationship became too serious and Jerry wanted to protect his best friend. They both decided it was best to table that conversation and not bring it up again.

''I'm going to see if she's okay, alright? If we're not back before parade starts, just tell Best Andy got sick and I'm helping her?'' Traci asked before leaving Chris again. She walked towards Andy and decided to tell her friend the truth. ''Andy, what happened?''

''Nothing,'' Andy said before trying to pass Traci. ''I'm fine.''

Traci blocked Andy's body with her own and crossed her arms before her chest. ''I don't believe you,'' she said. ''This is not you, I don't know what is going on and if you don't want to tell me than I can't force you. Just please promise me your talking to someone because whatever is going on with you, you need to deal with it.''

''I'm okay Trace, I promise,'' Andy said acting like nothing was going on.

''Did Swarek say something to you?'' Traci asked again. ''I know you two have a history, but if he's being inappropriate you need to file a complaint.''

''No, he's actually being very civil,'' Andy said slowly before sitting down on the bench again. ''God, I seriously thought I was stronger than this,'' she said before putting her head in her hands again.

''Stronger than what?'' Traci questioned. When Andy didn't answer her Traci was lost for a moment. When she had met Andy in the academy they grew close almost immediately. Traci didn't have a perfect situation being a teenage mom, she was used to people judging her. But never Andy, she was supportive and helpful from day one. Andy always was a cheerful, happy person, but Traci could see beyond that. Maybe it was her mom's instinct or something, but she saw her friend was hiding something from everybody. Traci never pushed her on it, but if it was going to eat her friend, than she would push. She would push until the walls came down, she just hoped she didn't force the walls to grow even higher.

Andy shrugged her shoulders and took another sip from her water bottle. ''Doesn't matter,'' Andy said. ''I'm okay now, I just freaked a little.''

''Why?'' Traci tried again.

''Nothing,'' Andy said. ''It was stupid.''

''If something freaks you out, it doesn't make you stupid,'' Traci protested. ''I'm sure you have good reasons for it.''

''I don't,'' Andy promised. ''Look, I know you're worried, but it's really not necessary. I will be fine.''

Traci slowly nodded again and looked at her friend. She had a theory about what happened, but she knew she was walking on very thin ice with this. She hadn't worked with Swarek yet, so she really didn't know what he was like as a person. From what other people told her, she knew he was a good friend, amazing cop, but he was known to bend the rules and had a temper. Maybe that temper got the best of him from time to time, she didn't know him, but it could be.

''Andy, I know I might be way out of line with this, but I have to ask,'' Traci waited until Andy looked up. ''Did Sam ever hurt you?'' she asked her friend cautiously. She knew it was her boyfriends best friend she was talking about here, but her friend was acting weird and Traci wanted answers.

''What?'' Andy asked sounding a little offended. ''What do you mean?''

By Andy's facial expressions Traci guessed she was wrong. ''I don't know. Everybody keeps saying he's great, but that he does have a temper and isn't exactly a rule follower.''

Andy just shook her head and Traci saw a small smile on her face. ''Not with me,'' she said. ''He only bends the rules when they are worth breaking. And for his temper.. let's say we fought hard from time to time, but he never laid a hand on me.''

''Okay, that's good,'' Traci said obviously relieved to hear that.

''He was sort of perfect,'' Andy said, not really speaking to Traci but just talking like she was talking to herself. ''Everybody always sees this rough bad-ass person when they look at him, but he's not. At least not when he was with me. He was sweet, caring and even though he always made the stupidest jokes anyone could ever come up with, he made me laugh.''

''Sounds like he's a pretty great guy,'' Traci softly told her friend while rubbing her back.

''Yeah,'' Andy said. After another second she seemed to get back to life and realize she actually said all those things out loud. ''But that's over now, so no use dwelling on the past.''

''Andy, come on,'' Traci said. ''Why can't you tell anybody why you broke up with him? I don't know what is going on with you, but you need to tell someone what happened before this thing eats you up alive.''

''It's not so simple,'' Andy tried again.

''Why not?'' Traci asked.

''Because, it's not,'' Andy said helplessly. ''I know I'm known as the bitch in this story okay? I know everybody thinks I used him and kicked him away when it was convenient for me. I am very much aware of the fact that everybody is whispering behind my back, but I can handle all of that. I can't handle being known as the weak girl.''

''Weak?'' Traci asked. ''Why would they think you're weak?''

Andy placed her hands next to her thighs and leaned forward. Traci had only seen Andy cry once, that was a silent cry when her father fell off the wagon for the umpteenth time. So Traci was a little surprised when Andy placed her hand over her mouth and let out a sob.

''I screwed up so bad,'' Andy said when the tears that were threatening to fall during their conversation finally fell.

''What happened?'' Traci asked.

Andy shook her head one more time and let out another sob. ''I didn't want to leave him, believe me that was the last thing I wanted.''

''Then why do it?'' Traci asked. ''Sweetie please talk to me.''

Andy sat up straight again and wiped away the tears on her cheek. She took a deep breath and shook her head again. ''Not here,'' Andy said. ''We need to work and I can't start sucking on my job now too.''

''You can't deal with everything alone,'' Traci said. ''That never ends well.''

Andy took another sip of water and took another deep breath. ''I'm okay Trace, just need to get to work and get my mind on other things.''

''Okay, will you tell me if I come by tonight?'' Traci asked. ''Or anybody else, just talk to someone.''

Andy slowly nodded. After keeping everything in for a year, she felt like she needed to let it out. And it would be best if she told her best friend, before she lost it and told someone who wouldn't believe her and use it against her. ''What about Leo?''

''Dex,'' Traci replied quickly. ''I'm all yours.''

''Okay, I don't know if I can tell you, but you're welcome okay. We'll see what happens.''

XX

When Frank was done with parade he told Gail to go check on Andy and Traci. If Andy was too sick to work, Traci was allowed to drive her home.

Gail went to grab a coffee first and then walked to the locker room. When she wanted to open the door it already flew open, Traci stepped out and Andy followed quickly.

''Best wanted to know if you're okay to work?'' Gail asked Andy.

Andy shot Gail a questioning look. ''Because you're sick?'' Gail clarified. ''If you're not, Traci can take you home.''

Andy looked at Traci and knew she lied to explain their absence during parade. ''No I'm good to work, just felt sick for a moment, but I'm sure it's nothing.'' Andy lied.

''Okay, well that's good because that means I can go out on patrol while you're on desk,'' Gail smiled. ''Good luck, you're with Dov.'' After that Gail went turned to Traci. ''And apparently your favorite detective requested your help on a case, but I'm sure that's a total coincidence,'' she said with a smirk.

''Gotta tell Jerry not to request me anymore,'' Traci muttered. ''Before you know it I'm the division's whore.''

''The division's whore and the division's bitch, best friends.'' Andy laughed. ''Actually seems fitting.''

''Good to see you smile again,'' Traci said before giving Andy a one hand hug. ''Now I got to kick my boyfriends ass before people actually think I'm sleeping with him to get interesting tasks.''

''Nobody's gonna think that,'' Andy tried to reassure her friend.

''I would,'' Traci said before heading for the D's office. ''I totally would.''

XX

_A year and a halve before - _

_Andy and Sam were out together, they went to see a movie and after that they went to a bar for a drink. Neither of them knew the bar they were heading towards, but they didn't really care about it because they just wanted a simple drink. _

''_Movie sucked,'' Andy said as they walked towards the bar. _

''_Your taste in movies sucks,'' Sam said. ''It was funny.'' _

''_Well, you consider 'hambulance' a classic, so I guess that makes my point,'' Andy laughed. She loved nights like this, just the two of them. She liked his friends and he didn't seemed to be bothered by hers, but it was still nice to have moments together with their busy schedules. Andy had another big test coming up and Sam picked up a few extra shifts, so nights like this were rare. _

''_Hey, you laughed when I told that joke,'' Sam protested. _

''_Didn't want to hurt your feelings.''_

''_Oh, and hurting my feeling is no longer an issue?'' Sam asked smiling. He loved teasing her, she always took the bait. _

''_No, but experience has told me your ego already is big enough,'' she teased back. _

_Andy sighed and placed her head on his shoulder. ''I missed you,'' she confessed. _

''_We live together, how can you miss me?'' Sam asked. _

''_We live together, but with our schedules we hardly see each other. You are working when I'm off and when your off I'm either in school, at the diner or studying.'' _

''_So stop working at the diner,'' Sam suggested. He had brought it up before, but she didn't want to depend on him for everything. _

''_We talked about his,'' Andy warned him. They stopped walking for a while and Sam pulled her close to him. _

''_I know, I'm just saying,'' he replied. ''Just promise to think about it okay? I don't make a lot, but we also don't spend that much so we could deal with one income for a while. It would give you some room to focus on school and have some free time.'' When he saw she was going to protest again he put his finger on her lips to silence her. ''I hate to see you bend yourself in half to work your hours at the diner, go to school and study between that. So I'm telling you I wouldn't mind providing for the two of us if it would make your life a little easier.'' _

''_You already know my answer,'' she smiled at him. ''And I love you for offering and caring, but I'm really fine. Sometimes I just wished we could see more of each other.'' _

''_I think I saw quite a lot of you this morning,'' Sam said wiggling his eyebrows. _

_Andy smacked his chest and started laughing. ''Yeah, well see if that happens again any time soon.'' _

''_It will,'' he said confident. _

''_That's optimistic,'' Andy smiled widely. _

''_Nah, that's experience,'' Sam said before he gently lowered his mouth to his. Andy tugged on his jacket bringing him closer to her and he let his hands settle on her waist. She was wearing a black dress that ended at the middle of her thighs. Sam loved her legs in that dress, especially with the_

_heels she wore under it. Andy never showed off much, but sometimes she would put on an outfit that would drive him wild. _

''_Get a room,'' someone muttered while trying to get past them. Sam backed away from Andy and grinned. ''That's not a bad idea, what do you say McNally?'' _

''_I say you promised me a drink,'' she said before tugging on his arm and dragging him to the bar. _

_When they found a table Sam walked to the bar to get them some drinks. Andy waited until he returned, patiently waiting for him. The bar was packed, so it took Sam a while to get his order in. When he returned Andy rewarded him with a deep kiss. _

''_What was that for?'' Sam asked when she backed away. _

''_Just love you,'' she smiled. _

_Sam grinned and handed her the drink. When he sat down next to her they talked about his work, about Oliver's kids that she had babysat the night before and about her upcoming test. Sam knew she was always nervous when she had to study for those tests, always afraid she wouldn't have studied hard enough. Sam had complete faith in her and he knew she would do great, no matter how insecure she was about it. _

_When Andy finished her drink Sam went to the bar to get a refill. A strange guy gladly took his seat and turned to Andy. _

''_My boyfriend was sitting there,'' she told him in a nice voice, but her facial expression told the guy to get lost. She knew Sam hated it when guys hit on her. She knew it wasn't a possessive thing, more a protective thing. Still, she could live without it, even though she sometimes felt like it confirmed his love for her. She knew he loved her, even though him bringing it to words was a rare occasion. _

''_Your boyfriend was stupid to leave his beautiful girlfriend alone,'' the guy said. ''Maybe you should get a new one.'' _

_Andy rolled her eyes at how cheesy the guy was being. ''He's getting me a drink and I think it would be best if you would just leave.'' _

''_I think I would like to get to know you a little better,'' the guy said. ''What's your name gorgeous?'' _

''_None of your business,'' Andy replied. She really didn't want to talk to the guy, sometimes she got a good laugh from guy's hitting on her, but this guy came a little too close. _

''_Oh playing hard to get?'' he asked. ''Just wait until you're on your back in my bed, I bet I could get you to tell me everything about you then.'' _

_At that Andy grabbed her purse and Sam's jacket and walked away from the guy, she really wasn't in the mood for this right now. And she knew things would get worse if Sam saw a guy making her uncomfortable. Andy walked towards the bar and put her hand on Sam's shoulder. _

''_Can we get out of here?'' she asked. _

_Sam looked at her and raised his eyebrows. ''Something wrong?'' he asked. _

''_No, just changed my mind and I want to go home,'' she said. ''Can we go?'' _

''_Yeah of course,'' Sam said. He walked away from the bar and took his coat from Andy. _

_Before they got a chance to leave the bar the guy that was hitting on her came up to her again. Andy saw him coming and sighed knowing Sam would get pissed if he would try something again. _

_Andy deliberately kept her eyes off the guy as she put her hand around Sam's waist. She hoped that would be a signal for the guy to get lot, but obviously she was wrong. _

''_Leaving already?'' the guy asked when he stood in front of her. He pushed her hair out of her face and Andy took a step back. The guy blocked her with his body and Sam immediately pushed his body between them. _

''_I suggest you walk away right now,'' Sam warned the guy. _

''_Or else what? You're going to stand up to protect your slut?'' _

_Andy knew that was the wrong thing to say to Sam, that was very much the wrong thing to say to Sam. Sam made himself a little taller and tried to stare the guy down, but apparently the guy didn't feel threatened at all. He pretended to walk away, but just when Sam seemed to relax again, Andy felt his hand on her ass. _

_She saw the punch coming even before Sam lifted his hand. The guy went straight to the floor and Sam grabbed Andy by the waist and pulled her with him, outside the bar. _

''_Sam,'' she yelled at him when they were outside. ''You could have walked away, you can't go punching people because of stuff like this.'' _

_Sam didn't even respond to her. He just held her by the waist as he walked to his truck with long angry strides. Andy knew there was no point in starting an argument now, they were in the middle of the streets and she didn't really like public fights. _

_Sam's truck was parked close to the bar, so it took them just a minute to reach it. Sam opened the passenger side and released his hold on Andy. _

''_Get in,'' he said. _

''_I'm not a dog Sam, you can't tell me what to do.'' Andy said. She knew she was pushing his buttons, but she wasn't some defenceless little girl who needed him to fight her battles. She would have been able to put that guy in his place, without his 'help'. _

''_Get in,'' Sam said again, clearly not leaving any room for a discussion about this particular subject. _

''_I think I'm going to walk home,'' Andy said protesting. She knew Sam would never physically hurt her, but if looks could kill she would very much be dead after that comment. _

''_McNally, get in the truck right now,'' Sam said with a clenched jaw. _

_Andy saw some people looking at them, so she decided it was best to just follow his orders. It would be a little embarrassing if someone called the cops and Sam's colleagues would show up because someone thought Sam was hurting her. _

_When she was seated Sam slammed the door close and walked over to the driver's seat and quickly started the engine. Neither of them spoke the entire ride home, Andy kept glancing at Sam and everytime she saw him gripping the steering wheel harder or clenching his jaw. _

_When he parked the car she opened her door and got out immediately. She took her keys from her purse and opened the door. Andy walked to the bedroom in a straight line and shut the door even before Sam was in the house. _

_Andy took off her dress and shoes. This was not how she wanted this night to end, their night had been so perfect and now she was taking off her own dress, while she imagined that would have been a nice task for Sam this evening. She opened the clasp of her bra and took off her panties, she even put on nice underwear for him. When she was naked she walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. _

_Their fights always started like this, both of them to mad to say another word to the other person. Most of the time they would ignore each other till one of them broke down by yelling or apologizing. Andy had to admit that if someone started yelling it was mostly her, if someone apologized it was mostly Sam. _

_When she was done with her shower she grabbed a towel and dried off. She took an elastic from the cabinet to put her hair in a messy bun. She put the towel around her before walking out of the bedroom again. She knew it was stupid, Sam had seen her naked hundreds of times, but she was pissed at him and he didn't deserve to see her naked right now. _

_Sam wasn't in the bedroom, so Andy dropped the towel and put on some clean underwear. She took an old pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and quickly put it on too. _

_She knew she wasn't going to be able to sleep, so she went downstairs again. Sam was sitting on the couch watching hockey. By the look on his face Andy could tell he wasn't really watching. _

_Andy grabbed a water bottle from the fridge before walking into the living room again. When she looked at the TV she saw the hockey players just started a fight. _

''_Oh look,'' she said. ''Punching people. Guess I can see where you learned to do that.'' _

_Sam snorted and still refused to look at her. _

''_Seriously, watch some more, you never know when it comes in handy again,'' she pushed him a little further. _

''_The guy called you a slut and grabbed your ass Andy, what the hell did you expect me to do?'' Sam yelled at her. _

''_I don't know? Maybe not pretend like I'm some helpless teenager and let me handle it myself?'' _

''_How would you have handled it?'' Sam asked her. _

''_I would have walked away or I would have used words. You know those Sam? Words? That means talking to people with your mouth instead of with your fists!'' she yelled back. _

''_And you think the guy would have backed away if you asked him nicely?'' Sam asked. ''God you're so damned naive sometimes.'' _

''_So you had to punch the guy?'' Andy asked. ''I can take care of myself you know?'' _

''_Yeah, you were doing a spectacular job,'' Sam said. ''But I'm not even going to have this discussion with you, because you always know everything and I know nothing. So let's just say it: I was wrong. Because that's what you want to hear right?'' _

''_Not if you don't mean it.'' Andy said. _

''_He was touching you Andy. For Christ sake, do you not understand why that would bother me?'' _

''_Of course I understand why it would bother you, I just hoped you had a little more faith in me and let me handle it by myself.'' Andy screamed. She was so sick of his protectiveness over her. And she got it, because she knew the horrible things he witnessed every day. She knew what happened to his sister. She read the newspaper so she knew about the things people did to each other, but sometimes it felt suffocating being around him. He would never let her walk home alone when it was dark, one time he even picked her up from a friend's house with a cruiser. While he was working. _

''_He was touching you Andy,'' Sam repeated again. ''Nobody touches you but me.''_

''_Oh I'm your property now?'' she asked. ''Well Sam, is it okay if I go to bed? Because I'm a little tired and I have an early morning tomorrow. Or is there anything you need my body for right now?'' she knew she was being immature and dramatic, but she was not his property and never would be. _

_Sam threw his hands in the air and let out a sarcastic laugh. ''Yeah, you go sleep. Walk away, that's what you do best anyway.'' _

_Andy knew where that was coming from. When they just started living together they had a fight. Not even a big fight, but Andy was upset about it. She went to her father's place and spent the night there. She never told Sam she was leaving so when she came back the next morning he was still up, he never even went to bed because he was worried about her. She never even realised how much she scared him by just disappearing like that and they had agreed to talk things over. Sam told her that if she wanted to live with him, she couldn't just leave whenever she felt like it. Being in an adult relationship meant you couldn't run away from each other the moment things got hard. She had apologized over and over for it. She honestly never realized he wouldn't know where she went. Whenever she had a fight with her dad she would stay at a friend's house, he never made a big deal about it. But she had to learn that this was different, she was in a relationship now and that meant you stayed in the same house, even if you didn't want to see each other. _

_Andy was close to crying now and turned around to go to bed. She knew she wouldn't fall asleep any time soon, but she just wanted to get away from Sam for a moment. When she entered the bedroom she took off her sweatpants and threw them next to the bed. She crawled under the covers and cried for a few minutes. After that she stared at the wall for the better part of an hour. When there was still no sign of Sam she got out of bed again and walked downstairs. _

_He was still sitting on the couch, he didn't look up when she came in and that made her feel even worse. She softly sat down next to him and was silent for a minute. After that minute she put her hand on his shoulder and tried to get him to look at her. _

''_I'm sorry,'' she said, her voice still sounding a little weak. ''I know you're trying to protect me but that isn't your job okay?'' _

_Sam finally looked at her. ''Not my job?'' he asked her. _

''_Well, you're a cop, so maybe,'' she reasoned. ''But when you're my boyfriend it isn't.'' _

''_Protecting you as a boyfriend is more my job than being a cop,'' Sam said getting angry again. ''Don't you get that? If you want someone who's going to stand on the side lines while you get hurt, than you are with the wrong person.'' _

_Andy's eyes widened when he said that. Because even with his crazy overprotective nature Sam was all she wanted. She loved him more than anything._

_Sam noticed her fear and put his hand on her thigh. ''Look, I didn't mean..'' he started. ''I'm sorry okay? I know you can handle yourself, but I am not going to apologize for punching that guy.'' _

_Andy nodded and fisted her hand in his hair. _

''_It's not okay if someone touches you when you don't want them too. I'm never going to let anything happen to you as long as I got a say in it,'' he said gently. ''You're the most important person in my life and even when you think I'm overreacting, I promise I'm only looking out for your best interest.'' _

''_I know,'' Andy said softly. ''I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have yelled and I was being childish.'' _

_Sam slowly kissed her and nudged her nose with his. ''It's okay,'' he said. _

''_We okay?'' she asked finally meeting his eyes. _

''_Yeah, we'll be fine,'' Sam promised before pulling her to his lap. _

_XX_

That night Traci knocked on Andy's door with a bottle of wine in her hand. When Andy opened Traci raised her hand with the bottle of wine in it. ''Liquid courage?'' Traci smiled.

Andy gave her a small smile before stepping aside to let Traci in. Andy didn't say anything and Traci walked to her couch.

''Want a drink?'' Andy asked.

''How about just a glass?'' Traci said while raising the bottle.

Andy nodded and walked to the kitchen. When she came back she placed the glasses on the table and opened the bottle.

''So, ready to talk?'' Traci asked.

''I'm fine,'' Andy said again.

''Cut it out,'' Traci said with a lot of force behind her voice. ''You told me you are not fine this afternoon.''

''That was this afternoon,'' Andy said. ''I just freaked out for a moment, now I'm fine.''

Traci shook her head and let herself fall back to the couch. ''Sometimes I wonder if you trust anybody,'' she said.

''What do you mean? I trust you, I just don't want to share every detail of my life with you,'' Andy said. ''And I don't think I should have too.''

''I'm not asking for details, I'm asking about something that has obviously affected you in a huge way.''

''I can't Trace,'' Andy sighed.

''Why not?''

''Because I don't want you to look at me as if...''

''As if what?'' Traci asked in her cool mother voice.

''It's just a really long story,'' Andy tried one more time.

''I've got time,'' Traci said.

''I wouldn't know where to begin.''

''How about at the beginning?''

Andy sighed and looked at her best friend. She knew it would be such a relieve to finally tell someone, let someone in. Yet, she was afraid for the consequences. They sat together in silence for two minutes before Andy took in a deep breath. And for the first time she told someone her true reason for leaving Sam.

XX

I'm mean, I know!

What do you guys think happened?


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors note: This chapter involves sexual violence, so if for any reason you don't want to/can't read that, please be warned.**

I would like to thank svugirl25, thanks for looking this over and helping me with a few things!

XX

Jerry laid down on the bed. Traci was already under the covers, facing away from him. Jerry kissed her cheek and rested his head on his pillow.

''Long day?'' Jerry asked as she turned around.

''Yeah, you could say that,'' Traci muttered. ''I was happy when I got home and I could wrap my arms around Leo.''

Jerry put his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him. ''Days like this can be scary, but you guys wear that vest for a reason.''

''I know,'' Traci said. ''But still, if the bullet would have been a little higher..''

''McNally going to be okay?'' Jerry didn't like the girl, but he didn't wish anything bad for her. Besides, she was his girlfriend's best friend, so if she was hurt, it would affect Traci too.

Jerry was at the D's office when Best came in telling him that one of the rookies was shot. Jerry's heart stopped for a moment. When Frank told him McNally was the one that got shot, he first felt relieved and after that he even felt a little guilty.

''Yeah, bruised ribs and she will be sore for a while, but she'll be okay. I promised I would check up on her tomorrow morning.''

''Okay, you're a good friend,'' he kissed her again. ''If she wanted you to be there tonight, it's fine.''

''Actually, she didn't ask me to check on her, your friend did,'' Traci said, as she gave Jerry a pointed glare.

''Sammy can't help himself, huh?'' Jerry asked. He really wished Sam would forget about McNally. Sam seemed to be doing okay, but things like this really annoyed Jerry. McNally didn't deserve his worry or sympathy anymore.

''He cares about her,'' Traci said. ''Is that so weird? Wouldn't you be worried about your ex wife if something happened to her?''

''I wouldn't call her best friend to ask her to check up on her,'' Jerry said. ''He should get the hell over her, she doesn't deserve his concern.''

''Jerry,'' Traci warned.

''What?'' Jerry asked. ''I know we agreed to not talk about this anymore, but this is how I feel. If she would have left him with a good reason, then I could maybe understand, but that girl said nothing.''

''She has a good reason,'' Traci said. When she said it, she immediately turned away. She had promised Andy that her secret would be safe with her. Andy didn't want to tell anything, but during their conversation, little bits kept coming out; by now Traci was pretty sure she heard most of the story. She didn't know if Andy did the right thing, but she could see where her best friend was coming from.

''She told you why she left?'' Jerry asked immediately, sitting up and flicking on the lights again.

''That's between me and her,'' Traci quickly said. ''Seriously Jerry, I promised her, and I'm not going to tell you anything.''

''You don't think Sam deserves to know why she just packed up all her stuff and left? He's my best friend Traci, you should understand why I am looking out for him.''

''And she is my best friend and I am looking out for her,'' Traci replied. ''If you want me to understand you, then you need to understand me.''

''So you are just not going to tell me?'' Jerry asked her.

''Not for as long as she doesn't want me to,'' Traci said. ''She only told me a week ago and it took a lot of convincing to get it out of her. So I'm not going to betray her trust.''

Jerry sighed and laid back down on his pillow. He really didn't care for gossip, not at all, but the disappearance of Andy McNally was still a mystery unsolved. Jerry had always liked Andy before she left Sam. She was young, sure, but she made his best friend happy. Their relationship always seemed stable, until one day Sam showed up for work looking like shit. Jerry had first joked about it, but when Sam didn't respond, he dragged him into an interview room. Sam first insisted he just drank too much and when Jerry was about to give up, the words came out. _She left me, I don't know why. _

Four weeks later Sam didn't show up for work. Jerry had to find out via Boyko that his best friend went undercover and couldn't say goodbye. Jerry was pissed when he found out Sam was going after Anton Hill. Chances were Sam wouldn't come back, especially since his head wasn't in the game. Jerry blamed Andy for that, because if she wouldn't have left, his best friend wouldn't have risked his life.

''Did it make sense?'' Jerry asked.

''What?''

''Her reason, was it a good reason to leave someone?'' That was something that Jerry was still wondering. As a detective, his work was to always find the missing piece of the puzzle. The piece to this puzzle was still missing.

''I don't know,'' Traci admitted. ''I think she should have handled it different, but all I can say is that she's not to blame for this.'' They were both silent for a moment before Traci continued. ''I always sort of respected your grudge against her, but right now I can honestly say you are wrong. She might not have handled things the best possible way, but she did what she thought was right. I understand why she did it.''

''Would you have done the same in her situation?'' Jerry asked.

Traci paused for a moment before answering that question. ''I hope I would handle things different, but I can't honestly say I would. She knows she hurt Sam, she just thinks she would have hurt him more by staying.''

''That makes no sense,'' Jerry said.

''I hope one day she'll be able to tell Sam; that would be better for everyone. But until that day, I will respect her wish and keep it between us.''

''Like I said, you're a good friend, Traci Nash.''

XX

_Sam checked his watch and yelled upstairs. ''Andy, are you almost done? I told Oliver we would be there in ten minutes. And considering it's a twenty minute drive, we'll be late already.'' _

''_Yeah yeah,'' Andy yelled at him. She was still in their bedroom upstairs while Sam was waiting on her in the hall downstairs. ''Five more minutes, okay?'' _

''_That's what you said ten minutes ago,'' Sam muttered, not loud enough for Andy to hear it all the way upstairs. They were headed to a charity evening that the Toronto Police Department organized. Sam had to work later that evening, but Andy was excited, so he promised her they could at least show up. Oliver would bring Zoe and Sam knew Zoe and Andy got along pretty well. Jerry would probably show up alone, his wife didn't care for parties like this. _

_When Sam finally heard some movement on the top of the stairs, he looked up and smiled at her. She was wearing an A-line purple cocktail dress. The dress reached her knees and she was sporting silver high heels under it. The heels went perfectly with the necklace and earrings she had chosen. Sam recognized the jewelry from when he had given it to her last Christmas. _

''_Let's stay home,'' Sam said grinning. ''You look insanely hot; I won't be able to keep my hands off you.'' _

''_No way,'' Andy smiled. ''I didn't do all this work,'' she gestured to her face and hair, ''only to let you mess it up again.'' _

''_Oh come on, you know you're still gorgeous without all that crap,'' Sam muttered. He seriously meant that, while he appreciated that she would go all out on nights like this, he also liked her casual look. _

''_Well, all that crap cost me a small fortune, so we'd better go to that party right away.'' She finally reached the bottom of the stairs and held her face up so he would kiss her. Sam happily obeyed. After he pulled away, he let his hand linger around her neck and ear. _

''_Looks good on you,'' he said. ''Never would have thought I would have good taste in jewelry.'' _

''_You are a man of many talents,'' Andy smiled. ''Now come on, chop chop.'' _

_Sam safely drove them over to the hotel the party was at. They walked in together, his hand protectively around her waist. When they entered the room the party was being held in, Sam quickly spotted his friends. He whispered in Andy's ear that she should join them while he bought them drinks. _

_Five minutes later, Sam joined them. Zoe had just dragged Oliver to the dance floor and Andy was talking to Jerry. After awhile, Frank and Noelle joined them. They were all standing together talking, when Boyko came up to them, encouraging them to buy something from the silent auction. It was a charity event, after all. _

_Andy stood by Sam's side as he made small talk. She met some nice people to talk to. Later on her feet started to hurt. She had never wore those heels before, so she told Sam she would sit down for a moment. _

_Sam went with her; they found a table fairly quickly. Their friends started to join them again and while Andy was talking to Zoe about her oldest daughter starting high school, Donovan Boyd joined them. Andy had seen the guy before and knew he was Sam's mentor. _

_When they were alone at the table again, Andy put her head on Sam's shoulder. ''Not any chance I can get you on the dance floor, is there,'' she asked him. She already knew the answer; Sam Swarek did not dance. She only got him to dance with her once and that was when they were alone at the house. And she was pretty sure he only agreed because he said something stupid to her and felt guilty. _

''_Not enough alcohol in the world.'' Sam shook his head with a small smile on his lips. _

''_You have to work in an hour,'' Andy said. ''You can't have any alcohol.'' _

''_Well, guess you've got your answer then,'' Sam replied. _

_Andy looked over at the dance floor and saw Oliver dancing with Zoe. ''I knew I should have tried to get Oliver as my date,'' she teased. ''He has no trouble dancing.'' _

''_He has no trouble making a fool of himself you mean.'' Sam took another sip of his soda and smiled at her. ''I'm doing you a solid favor by not dancing with you McNally, because believe me, it would not look pretty.'' _

''_Shut up,'' Andy said. ''You don't fool me, you've got rhythm, Mr. Swarek. Don't think I don't notice it when you're secretly swaying to the music, wearing just your boxers.'' _

''_I don't sway,'' Sam protested. ''Not ever.'' _

_Andy laughed at him and he kissed her briefly before he looked at his watch. ''I have to go,'' he said. ''Will need some time to get out of this tux and into uniform.''_

''_Let me say goodbye to the Shaw's,'' Andy said. _

''_You don't have to leave,'' Sam said. ''There are cabs outside, I'll take one to the barn so you can stay here and have some fun. Just take the keys to my truck so you can go home at any time, okay?'' _

_Andy thought about it for a minute; they were playing some good music and she did enjoy talking to Zoe. There were some other girls she recognized, so she didn't mind staying for awhile. ''Okay,'' she said, before kissing Sam goodbye. ''Have a safe shift, I'll see you at home, okay?'' _

''_You be safe too,'' he said, pressing his lips to hers one more time. ''Call me when you get home, okay?'' _

''_Okay,'' Andy promised. Sam stood up and walked towards the exit. Andy stayed at the table for a moment before she stood up and joined a group of girls. She recognized one of them and started a conversation with her. After that, she joined Sam's friends again at the table. Jerry and Frank had left with Sam, also being scheduled for work. Oliver had the night off and celebrated, by drinking a lot. Andy even danced with Oliver while Zoe watched laughing at them. _

_Andy checked her watch and noticed she had stayed way longer than she intended to. She quickly pulled out her cell phone and sent a text message to Sam. _

_-Sorry, still at the party. Heading home now, had fun!- _

_She said goodbye to the people that were still at the party and headed towards the parking lot. When she reached Sam's truck, she saw a guy standing next to the car that was opposite of the truck. The guy tried to open the car, but was very unsuccessful. _

''_You okay?'' Andy asked. _

_When the guy looked up, she saw it was Donovan Boyd. ''Sammy's girl,'' he smiled at her. She smiled awkwardly back at him; he clearly had way too much to drink. ''Heading home?'' _

''_Yeah and I don't think you should be driving,'' she said. _

''_I'll be fine,'' he muttered, before nearly falling again. Andy looked around the parking lot and thought about it for a moment. She really shouldn't let him drive home, he clearly was very drunk. She would never forgive herself if he ended up killing someone with his driving. _

''_You got a credit card on you?'' Andy asked. _

''_Why? You gonna rob me?'' Boyd asked her. _

''_No, just think you should get a room here.'' Andy said. ''You really shouldn't be driving. You're a cop, you know that.'' _

_Boyd looked unimpressed and didn't give any sign he would follow up on her advice. Andy checked the parking lot again, there was nobody there to help. She walked over to Boyd and let him lean on her while walking back to the hotel. She asked him for his credit card and got a room for him. _

_By the time she was done at the reception, Boyd was already asleep in one of the lobby's chairs. Andy told him to get up and his eyes fluttered open. She sighed and put her arm around his waist again, quickly helping him up. She had experience with this; she had brought her dad to bed countless times after he drank way too much. _

_It was quite the tour to get Boyd to the third floor, but when they finally reached it, Andy opened the door to his room. She walked him over to the bed and laid him down. She took a bottle of water from the bar and put it on the nightstand. When she was done, she took a few painkillers from her purse and put them next to the bottle. She took the trashcan from the bathroom and put it next to the bed, he would probably need it and she hoped he would find it before throwing up over the floor. _

_She wanted to walk away after that, but she saw he was still wearing his tie. That couldn't be comfortable, so Andy leaned over him while she tried to get rid of the tie. _

_She let out a yelp when Boyd grabbed her arm and pulled her on the bed. For someone who wasn't able to stand on his own two feet two minutes ago, he was surprisingly strong now. _

_Boyd rolled on top of her and she tried to fight him off, but he had her pinned underneath him. _

''_Get off,'' she screamed as he moved his beard across her neck. _

''_Sammy is one lucky guy,'' he muttered against her skin. _

_Andy started crying but didn't stop fighting. When she started screaming, he put his hand over her mouth. _

''_Just a minute,'' he said. ''Sammy's a nice guy, he'll share.'' _

_She felt his free hand travel from her breast to the bottom of her dress. He pushed it up and Andy struggled against his grip. She always thought she was strong, at least strong enough to handle a wasted guy. Apparently he was stronger, because he didn't slow down one bit. When he had pushed up her dress enough, his hand went into her panties. Andy sobbed when she felt his hand down there. _

_When he ripped her panties, she kicked even harder than before, but there was no use. _

_His free hand was all over her. She felt his beard on her neck and was disgusted by the way she felt. When he let go of her mouth, she begged him to stop, to let her go. She started screaming and he covered her mouth with his hand again. _

_It wasn't until he moved up to open his fly that she had a little bit more room to maneuver. She kicked him in the crotch and when he backed away from her just a little, she gave an extra push and ran as quick as she could. She didn't even think, she just ran to the first door she saw. When she was in the bathroom, she locked the door and sat on the floor crying. _

''_YOU BITCH,'' she heard him yell through the door. He pounded on the door a few times before screaming again. ''You'll pay for this.'' She heard him trash something in the room and even though she knew he knew she was in there, she tried to stay completely silent. ''Even better,'' he yelled. ''Your boyfriend will pay for this. I'll destroy him.''_

_After that, she didn't hear anything for a while. She didn't know how long she had been sitting on the floor, but it felt like hours. She knew she would have to get out of there sometime and stood up. She felt disgusting. She knew she was lucky she was able to fight him off before anything more could happen, but this was already bad enough. _

_She didn't want to walk through the hotel looking like this, what would people think? She quickly straightened her dress and tried to control her breathing again. She walked to the sink and turned on the faucet. She tried to get rid of the mascara stains on her cheeks, but mostly failed. _

_Andy turned the lock and was prepared to turn it again, but she didn't hear anything. She opened the door as slow as humanly possible and when she looked in the room, she saw Boyd was lying face down on the bed. Andy quickly grabbed her purse from the desk that was next to the door and ran out of the room. She was glad she didn't pass anybody in the hall and when she reached the lobby, she ran out as fast as she could, avoiding any wondering eyes. The party was over, so she didn't run into any of Sam's colleagues. _

_When she reached the truck, she quickly opened it and locked it as soon as she was inside. When she knew she was safe from him, she started sobbing again. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have been so weak? She had started self defence-classes when she was 11, but tonight it all seemed useless. Besides that, she probably provoked him by helping him too bed. She was taught better than that. _

_When someone passed the truck, she quickly looked down, feeling afraid and embarrassed at the same time. She focused on her breathing before she started the engine of the truck and headed home. Sam wouldn't be home; if he was, she couldn't go there. _

_When she reached home, she couldn't get in the shower fast enough. __She checked the lock on the door multiple times; feeling certain she was safe, she ran towards the bathroom. When she was in the shower, she sat down on the cold tiles. She wrapped her arms around herself and started__ sobbing again. _

_She knew she had been there for awhile when the water started getting cold. She got up and dried off. Making __her way to her night stand, she took her cell phone from her purse__. She had one missed call and one text message from Sam._

_-Okay, glad you had fun. Shift is slow, guess the criminals don't know half of TPD is drunk right now. You sleep well.-_

_Just the thought of Sam made her choke up again. He could never know about this; he would kill Boyd. She didn't sleep that night, she just kept thinking about everything that happened. By the time morning broke and she heard Sam's key in the lock, she convinced herself she was to blame for it. She should have let Boyd handle himself. She should have gotten him that hotel room and let him deal with it alone. _

_When Sam entered the bedroom, she pretended to be asleep. She curled herself up in a ball and moved as far from Sam's side as she could. He pressed a kiss to her neck before he dozed off. She tried not to start crying again just from that kiss. When she was sure he was asleep, she rolled out of bed and moved to her drawer. She picked out a few items and headed to the guest room. _

_She changed into a pair of sweatpants and a light shirt. She needed to run. __A good jog would take her mind off of things and Sam wouldn't miss her. He always slept very light, but night shifts always broke him a little. She knew he would be out for at least six hours. _

_Andy jogged till all her muscles ached. She was gone for more than two hours. Finally returning to her street, she saw Boyd standing in front of her house. She tried to run in the opposite direction, but he was in front of her in no time. _

''_Sam's home,'' she said, willing herself not to cry again. ''I'll scream.'' _

''_No, you won't,'' Boyd said. ''Look, I know what I did was wrong, but we are going to agree to forget about that, okay?'' _

_Andy looked at him, her eyes widening with fear. _

''_If you keep your mouth shut, I have no intention of hurting you,'' Boyd told her. ''I was drunk, it was stupid, but nothing happened. You have no proof whatsoever and nobody is going to believe you over me.'' _

_Andy took another step back and swallowed. _

''_It wouldn't end well for your boyfriend if he were to find out about this either,'' Boyd threatened. _

''_What?'' Andy asked, too afraid to form a normal sentence. _

''_Let's just say, if your boy starts stirring up trouble for me, I can do the same for him. I know a lot of people in high places and it would be a big shame if evidence started showing up about Swarek's illegal activities.'' _

''_Sam would never,'' Andy said, completely in shock; she didn't even register the fact she was talking. _

''_Who do you think people will believe? A frustrated beat cop, or a detective? But none of this has to happen if you just forget what happened last night, okay?'' _

_Andy didn't respond but tried to get away again. _

''_Are we clear?'' Boyd asked her taking a step towards her. Andy stared at him in fear. ''ARE WE CLEAR?'' Boyd yelled. _

_Andy couldn't do anything but just nod. _

''_Okay, so last night didn't happen and your boyfriend can still work for me. That's best for everyone, believe me.'' Boyd gave her one last long glare before stepping away and getting in his car. As soon as he was out of sight, Andy ran towards the bathroom and showered again. _

_Sam could never find out, ever. If he found out, he would kill Boyd, meaning he would go to jail. If for some miracle he didn't kill Boyd, Boyd would end his career. All Sam ever wanted to be was a cop; it would destroy him if he would be fired. Especially if he would be fired over false accusations. It would all be her fault and he didn't deserve that. _

_When she came out of the shower again, she put on jeans, sneakers and a hoodie. She left a note for Sam saying she was going to spend the day with friends. She would just stay away from him today. He would be working the night shift again, so she didn't have to explain being away during the night. _

_The next day she did see him, but only for five minutes. She tried to act as nonchalant as possible while she told him she had plans with her dad. She left him alone again and waited to head back home again, until she was sure he had left for work. _

_The third day she told Sam she needed to study at the study hall. Before dinner she texted him she ran into some friends and she would eat with them._

_The fourth night she ran out of excuses. He had the day off, so she couldn't just stay away an entire day. When he kissed her, she tensed up. When he asked her what was wrong, she told him she wasn't feeling good. She made up some excuse about cramps and headed towards the bedroom. Sam came in half an hour later; he put his hand on her stomach, slowly rubbing it. She got nauseous and told him he wasn't helping. She knew she was hurting him, but this would hurt less than the truth. _

_She went on like that for two weeks. She got better at lying and was able to push back the ugly memories from that night. She could handle Sam kissing her to a certain extent. Every time he tried something beyond that, she made up excuses. She told him she wasn't feeling well, she wasn't in the mood, she had to get up early, whatever she could think off. _

_One night, she told herself she couldn't go on like this; she needed to get over it and put it behind her. She had started kissing Sam that night, he just seemed happy she was allowing him to touch her again. Every time she had a flashback to that night, she opened her eyes and reminded herself she was with Sam. Sam was safe, Sam made her happy, Sam loved her. It was like a mantra that she repeated in her mind. After they had sex, she felt awful. She tried to smile at him and act like nothing was going on. She thought this would fix her. She thought Sam's hands would erase what Boyd's hands had done, but it didn't work like that. _

_Sam, of course ,noticed something was going on. He had asked her what was wrong on numerous occasions during those two weeks. She told him she probably had a bug, she was hurting and nauseous. He looked incredibly worried, something that made her feel even worse. He kissed her forehead gently and made her promise to go to the doctor the next day. _

_When Sam fell __asleep, she made the most difficult decision she had ever made - she needed to leave him. She couldn't be with__ him and not tell him. If she told him he would end up hating her for ruining his career. Either way, the result would be the same. At least he could keep his job if she left him. He would get over her and find another girl that wasn't damaged by mothers, dads and guys. _

_It didn't matter if it would break her; it was best for him.  
__  
XX_

Andy was lying on her bed, looking at the ceiling. The entire day was sort of a blur to her.

She was partnered with Shaw today and they were trying to keep a crowd under control at a free concert. All of a sudden, shots were fired, the girl next to her was hit and so was she. She knew she was lucky, the girl ended up dead, but all of her injuries would fade away.

She felt so incredibly numb. She always thought working at 15th would be fine. Somewhere in her head, she had convinced herself Sam was gone. She knew he hadn't been at the station in a long time, so she thought he had transferred. When she was riding together with Oliver for the first time, he told her Sam was undercover. Even after that, she convinced herself it would be fine. Sam would have moved on by now. It had been over a year and he probably found someone else, why wouldn't he?

If he was seeing someone else, it would be a good punishment for her to watch them together. Working at 15th would be a good punishment for her either way; she knew people would talk there. If people talked, at least that meant she was being punished for being careless, weak and stupid.

Now, Sam had been back for a few weeks, obviously not seeing anybody. And every day Andy regretted her decision of leaving more. She couldn't help but wonder what her life would look like if she would have told him the truth. Maybe she should have confided in one of his friends or even her dad.

Instead of doing that, she pushed the memory away. She started training her ass off; she was physically stronger now than ever. She never talked about the near rape, not with anybody, always keeping it to herself. A few months after leaving Sam, she was over it; at least, that's what she told herself. Even when she had talked to a psychiatrist, before getting into the academy, she managed to keep it a secret. She had gotten good at that, sometimes she even convinced herself nothing ever happened.

She could be around people again; she didn't tense every time someone touched her. She was starting to become Andy McNally again. However, when she was alone, she let her guard down and let herself cry. But her cries were not often because of the near tragedy that happened; they were mostly because of Sam.

She missed him. She missed his arms around her; they always made her feel safe and protected.

She tried to get over him, she did. Traci had begged her to go out and she went along with it. She had drank, danced and smiled, but none of it was sincere. She had kissed a few guys, but was repulsed by the thought of going beyond that. She didn't want anybody else; she wanted Sam.

And now she was recovering from being shot. Oliver had been great; the first few shifts they worked together were awkward, but he was a good partner. When she was lying on the ground, she thought she was going to die. She heard people yelling and Oliver rushed to her side to make sure she was okay.

Sam had arrived at the scene minutes after that. He didn't keep his eyes off of her while he was talking to Oliver. She could see the worry in his eyes and hated that he still cared for her.

She would probably hate it even more if he didn't care for her.

Andy spent most of the night just staring at the ceiling. Mourning for a life she once had. Mourning for a life she could have had. But it was all in the past now and she had herself to blame for that.

XX

''Nash,'' Sam called out. ''A word?''

Traci looked at the other rooks and shrugged. She followed Sam into the interview room and didn't say anything before he spoke up.

''Is McNally okay?'' he asked her. His eyes were filled with concern, but Traci could tell he was uncomfortable discussing this with her.

''Shaken up, sore, but she'll be okay,'' Traci said. ''I went by her apartment this morning and helped her. I believe her dad was supposed to come by later today.''

''Can you do me a favor?'' Sam asked. He didn't wait for Traci to answer. ''Check up on her too, okay? Her dad is not the most reliable person in the world.'' Sam didn't want to say anything more than that; he didn't know if the rookies knew about Tommy's drinking problem. Andy was always pretty secretive about it, embarrassed about what other people would think.

''I know,'' Traci replied. ''I'll go see her again after shift, make sure she has everything she needs.''

''Bring her food,'' Sam insisted. ''She tends to forget to eat when she's got stuff on her mind.'' Sam always worried about her eating; she sometimes could go an entire day without a normal meal. She had lost weight since he had last seen her and she didn't really have any weight to lose.

''I will, don't worry. She'll be fine I promise. I think I'm going to spend the night at her place. Last night, she didn't want me there.''

Sam nodded, he wanted to say a lot more, but he couldn't. He was already stupid for discussing this with a rookie of all people. ''Nash, I would appreciate it if this stayed between us.''

''Okay,'' Traci said. ''Don't worry about it.''

XX

Authors note: So secret is out..

Please review


	6. Chapter 6

Sixth chapter!

Thanks for your continuing support, it's very encouraging.

XX

Andy was on her way to the station for the first time since the shooting. She had gotten a week off, that was protocol. Her ribs still hurt sometimes when she moved too much, but she was more than ready to start working again.

Traci had picked her up; she didn't want Andy to walk after what happened.

''So, ready to go back out there?'' Traci asked Andy.

''Yup,'' Andy replied. ''I'm fine.'' She was fine, at least, she thought she was. Andy just really needed to get back to work. Being locked up in the house, it was not good for her. An entire week to over think everything, that was not good for her.

''Just a heads up,'' Traci started, her tone suddenly very serious. ''Detective Boyd has been at the station multiple times this week.''

Andy nodded and felt her throat tighten. ''Okay.'' She knew she would run into him, that was inevitable. She didn't expect it to affect her, definitely not the way it did last time. She had seen Sam in Best's office; she couldn't take her eyes off of him. When she saw Boyd coming up from behind a wall, her entire body shut out. Chris was joking and put his arm around her; she got a flashback and bailed to the locker room.

Andy was seriously disappointed in her way of dealing with everything. She thought she was stronger. Working with Sam, seeing Boyd again for the first time and being shot; it all made her see that she wasn't nearly as strong as she thought.

''Andy, I did some digging on Boyd,'' Traci started.

''WHAT?'' Andy yelled. ''You did what?" Andy specifically asked Traci to stay out of it. She told her the entire story, because she needed to tell someone. Andy never wanted Traci to get more involved.

''I only asked Jerry a few things about him,'' Traci tried, her voice full with apology. ''I also tried to open some files, but I'm not authorized to do so.''

''What?'' Andy said again. ''I told you this in confidence, do you realize I haven't told it to anybody else. And now you go and betray my trust?''

''I didn't tell anybody,'' Traci defended herself. ''I just wanted to know if there's more dirt on the guy, okay?''

''No,'' Andy said firmly. ''That is not okay. Do you realize he is a superior officer? Did you even think about what could happen if anybody finds out you are snooping? Or do you not care about that?''

''Nobody knows,'' Traci replied with confidence. ''Plus Jerry is clueless; he thinks I'm just interested in gossip.''

Andy folded her arms in front of her chest and sighed heavily. ''What did you find out?'' she asked.

''Like I said, couldn't find much. Jerry said something interesting though.''

Andy looked at her friend, willing her to continue. A part of her wanted to push the memories in a box, keep it locked away in her head; another part of her wanted Boyd to pay.

''According to Jerry, there were some rumors a couple of months ago,'' Traci started. ''A rookie from 27th, filed a complaint about Boyd. She accused him of sexual harassment.''

''Seeing he's still a detective, I assume nothing happened with the complaint?'' Andy guessed.

''Well, there was no evidence. There was an investigation, but Boyd was cleared. Jerry said a lot of people believed the girl. Boyd has lost a lot of respect over the years, according to Jerry he doesn't lead his operations properly.''

''Shocker,'' Andy breathed out. ''Look, I appreciate your concern, but seriously I just have to get over the fact that I'll see him every now and then. No matter how many complaints people file, it won't change anything.''

''What if there is more on him?'' Traci asked.

Andy sighed and looked at her best friend. She shook her head before speaking up again. ''Traci, seriously, stop it.''

''He can't get away with it Andy, it's wrong.'' Traci grabbed Andy's hand and squeezed it. ''I hate seeing you unhappy.''

''I'm not unhappy.'' Andy gave Traci a small smile. ''I've got you, Chris, Dov, and I never thought I would say this, Gail, my dad is finally making an effort to stay sober and despite everything I really love my job. I know I've been a little absent lately, but I'm doing okay. That night will never make my top ten, but it could have been a lot worse.''

''So, just because you fought him off before he could actually rape you, it's okay?''

Traci's words stung and Andy felt herself falling back in the chair. ''Of course it's not okay,'' Andy practically yelled. ''But it happened, and I know there's nothing I can do about it.''

''You told me, that's a big step.'' Traci made another turn and looked at Andy for a second. ''I just think he deserves to pay for what he did. Who knows how many girls he tried to force himself on.''

''He was really drunk Trace,'' Andy said. After the words came out she immediately closed her eyes. It wasn't an excuse and she knew it.

''That doesn't make it okay.'' Traci's voice left no room for discussion. ''And what about that rookie from 27th, was he drunk that time too?''

Andy knew Traci was right, but she also knew that there was very little she could do. ''What do you suggest?'' Andy opened up to the idea to do something. ''You know filing a complaint won't change things.''

''I know I'm asking a lot of you, but what if we told Jerry?'' Traci knew she was walking on thin ice here, but she had been thinking about this since Andy told her the story.

''No.'' Andy didn't even wait for Traci to continue.

''Hear me out..'' Traci held up her hand. ''If we tell Jerry, he can help us to find information that would be damaging for Boyd.''

''Who says that information exists?'' Andy asked. ''Besides, even if Jerry would believe me, there's no way Jerry will keep it from Sam. ''

''Maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing,'' Traci said. ''You still love him and he clearly still cares about you. I know you left because you wanted to protect him, but what if you two could work it out?''

Andy was getting seriously pissed at Traci. She had told her the story because she thought the secret would be save with her; that she wouldn't pressure her on telling anybody else. ''Traci,'' Andy warned. ''Don't you think I haven't thought about every option I could come up with? Don't you think there weren't nights were I actually already dialled his number? But every time I came to the same conclusion; nothing good will come out of him knowing.''

Traci sighed in defeat. From what Jerry had told her, she wouldn't be surprised if there actually would be some dirt on Boyd. Things got swept under the rug from time to time, sometimes that was easier than going after an officer. On the other hand, she could see where Andy was coming from; even if they would investigate, it would be a long shot. ''Okay, sorry I brought it up.''

After that they were both silent for a while. Andy was the one that broke that silence. ''I know you are just trying to look out for me,'' she admitted. ''I just.. I can't okay?''

''Okay,'' Traci told her quietly.

XX

When they reached the station, Andy and Traci went straight for the locker room. They got changed in silence. Both friends knew they were okay, after this morning they just needed some time.

After Andy finished changing, she told Traci she would head towards parade.

Just when Andy rounded the corner, she saw Sam leaning against the wall. He looked her directly in the eye and he gave her a small nod.

''McNally, good to have you back,'' he started. ''You feeling okay?''

''Yes.'' Andy paused for a moment. She hadn't been so close to Sam in a long time, she felt her stomach turning a little. ''You know, sore..''

''What did the doc say?'' Sam looked concerned, Andy knew that look.

''That I'll be fine.'' Andy cleared her throat. ''Also been to the departments therapist. She cleared me, so guess I'm ready to go back out there.''

''Good,'' Sam said. ''That's good McNally. Just don't overdo it, okay? Sometimes it's best to lay low after something like this.''

''Okay,'' Andy softly replied. She had to force herself to continue her path towards parade. Sam followed her and she felt his hand on the small of her back. Andy closed her eyes for just a moment. His hand felt so familiar, safe. Just before they walked into the parade room, Sam removed his hand and gave her one last nod.

''Be safe out there today, McNally.''

''Yeah, you too,'' Andy whispered to him before forcing on a smile and joining her friends.

XX

Sam was the biggest idiot on the planet, he was pretty sure of it.

She dumped him. Actually, she didn't even have the guts to properly dump him. After that he drowned himself in UC work, but that ended. Now here she was, at the one place he always loved. 15th always had been more of a home to him than any house.

That was until he met her, when she came in the picture, he actually enjoyed being at home. And he was over her, he really was. She left, he is fine. She left, he moved on. She left, he is doing absolutely great.

_Only he's not._

It's not like he lies in bed crying over her. To be honest, Sam can't remember the last time he cried. That probably was many years ago, maybe when his mother passed away. He's not even sure he cried that time, because crying isn't something he does.

What he does do, apparently, is worry over his ex girlfriend who managed to get herself shot, during her first months on the job. Sam always knew she would be a trouble magnet.

Sam cursed himself for still caring. He wished he was able to hate her, or at least not care this damn much about her. He couldn't help it, he still cared. He was pretty sure he would always care, because Sam didn't let many people in, but whenever he did.. Well, those people stayed in his heart.

When he heard McNally got shot, he wanted to go to her apartment. He wanted to see with his own eyes that she was actually okay. He couldn't do that, he knew that too. So he got Nash to check up on her. He never worked with the girl, but if his best friend saw something in her, there probably would be something there.

Now she was back at work. Sam couldn't fight the urge to wait for her outside the locker room. He needed to see her, just to see...whatever.

They talked and before he knew it his hand was on her back. He was equally happy and disappointed, she still responded to his touch, just the way she used to when they were together.

When she joined her friends, he swore he could see something in her eye. Then again, maybe he just wanted to see something there.

If there was one thing Sam was sure of, he needed to get over Andy McNally, and he needed to do it fast.

XX

_They had been together for a while. Their first date was seven months ago. And Andy was happy, like really happy. At first it was difficult, she just turned 20, while Sam turned 29, shortly after they started dating. Once she got used to the questioning eyes and judging people, she was insanely happy. _

_She loved him, she realised that a long time ago. She just wasn't sure he felt the same. It wasn't just sex to him, she knew that. He was considerate, sweet and seemed to genuinely care for her. Whenever she had a bad day, he let her whine and he would just hold her while she talked about whatever was bothering her. If it was just sex, he wouldn't do that. About a month ago she had the flu, Sam picked her up from her dad's and made her sleep in his bed while he made her soup. People don't do that for friends with benefits. Still... Sam never told her anything about how he felt. _

_He had worked a double shift and now they were in bed. He was lying on his back, with Andy curled to his side. Andy was playing with his chest hair while he traced patterns on her back. _

''_You want me to go?'' Andy asked him softly. _

_Sam's eyes shot open immediately, he looked at her with confusion written all over his face. ''Why?'' _

''_I've been here more nights than I've been at my dad's, just thought you might wanted a little space,'' she confessed before putting her head back on his chest. _

_She could tell Sam didn't really believe what she said, but he didn't say anything about it. ''If you want to go, go.'' Sam paused for a moment before continuing. ''I don't want you to go, but if you want to be with your dad..'' _

''_Not really,'' she confessed. ''He's drinking again,'' Andy softly added. _

_Sam rolled to face her and put one hand on her waist, while he let the other settle on her cheek. ''I'm sorry,'' he said before pulling her towards him, so she could hide her face in his neck. _

''_I don't know what to do,'' Andy told him. ''It's like it's never enough. I'm never enough for him.'' _

''_It's not your fault,'' Sam promised her. He pulled back so he could force her to look at him. ''Hey,'' Sam pulled her chin up again. ''It's not, okay? It doesn't work like that.'' _

_Andy sighed and nodded. ''Yeah, maybe.''_

''_Not maybe, it just isn't your fault.'' Sam kissed the top of her head and let her cuddle up to him. ''What else is bothering you?'' he asked. _

''_What?'' Andy's head snapped up. _

''_Something's on your mind, don't think I haven't noticed.'' Sam smiled at her. _

''_It's nothing,'' Andy tried. She didn't want to come off as needy, things were going great and she shouldn't be so insecure. _

''_Hit me anyway,'' Sam said. _

_Andy didn't say anything and let her hands roam over his body. ''What's your favorite colour?'' she asked after a few minutes of silence. _

_Sam chuckled. ''My favorite colour? Are we back in kindergarten?'' _

''_Come on,'' Andy made him roll back onto his back and rested her chin on his chest. ''What's your favorite colour?'' _

_Sam sighed and ran his hand over his face. ''Black.'' _

''_Black isn't even a colour,'' Andy protested. When Sam looked at her she spoke up again. ''What? It's not, black is a shade.'' _

''_Okay, well then, blue,'' Sam said. _

''_Light blue or dark blue?'' Andy traced his face with her finger. _

''_Dark, the kind of blue that is closest to black.''_

_Sam had his eyes closed and Andy let her finger linger around his eyes. ''Where did you get this scar?'' she asked next. _

_Sam sighed and let his finger run over the scar too. ''Sarah pushed me off the swing, landing wasn't so soft,'' he admitted. ''I tried to flush her favorite shirt down the toilet after that, but I got caught by my mom. Sarah didn't talk to me for a week after that.''_

_Andy nodded, smiling at the fact he shared something with her. He never shared anything, she knew he has a sister, she knew his mom passed away and his dad wasn't a part of his life. That was basically all she knew about him. ''You don't talk much about your family,'' she stated. _

''_You're always the one talking,'' Sam shot back. _

_Andy groaned and tried to roll off of him, but he caught her by the waist and nudged her nose with his. ''If you've got something to ask, ask it.'' _

_Andy rolled her eyes, but settled back on his chest. ''I don't have a specific question, it's just that you never tell me anything.'' Andy kept looking at him and she saw he closed his eyes. _

''_Sorry,'' he said. ''I guess I'm not used to sharing.'' _

''_It's okay,'' she lied. ''You're just really hard to read sometimes.'' They were both silent for a while before Andy spoke up again. ''Sam?'' _

''_Yeah?''_

''_You and me,'' she started. ''Is it..?'' Andy didn't finish her sentence, simply because she couldn't find the right words. Am I more than just sex to you, seemed like a stupid question to ask. He would probably yell at her, if she asked that question. _

''_What?'' Sam slowly rubbed her back. ''Andy, seriously, what is it?'' _

''_Are we serious?'' she asked turning red immediately. ''I mean,'' she quickly added. ''I just want to know...'' _

_Sam rolled over so she was the one on her back, he moved his weight to his elbow, so he could look her in the eye. He used one hand to cup her cheek and kissed her softly. ''We are serious sweetheart,'' he promised her. _

_Andy felt a smile forming on her lips. ''Yeah?'' she asked. ''You sure?'' _

_Sam didn't answer that, he just kept looking at her. The hand he had on her cheek moved to her hair, he played with it a little. Andy grew more and more concerned, because he wasn't answering her question. She had never seen him look so serious at her, Andy actually felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze. _

''_Sam?'' she tried to get him to snap out of it. _

''_Love you,'' he said. After that he started kissing her neck and didn't look at her anymore. _

_Andy felt overwhelmed and didn't know what to say, she definitely didn't think he would say those words. ''I love you too,'' she quickly replied after she processed his words. _

_At that Sam lifted his head, Andy still couldn't place the expression on his face. It was somewhere between concerned, happy and afraid. He looked at her for a full minute before kissing her slowly. _

_Later, Andy learned he never said those words to anybody, except for his mother. Apparently Sarah and him didn't have the kind of relationship where they would talk about their emotions. _

_After he told her those words that night, he didn't repeat them very often. To her, that didn't matter. When he had told her that night, she believed him. Every time he looked at her or touched her, she felt it. Sam wasn't a guy of words, but a guy of action. And no matter what he lacked to tell her in words, he told her in actions more than words could express. _

_XX_

Andy was on desk duty, she kind of saw that one coming. Even though she felt fine, running probably wasn't the smartest idea, just a week after getting shot.

She noticed someone approached the desk. ''How can I help you,'' she asked before looking up. When she did look up she looked straight into a pair of dark eyes. Those dark eyes went along with long, black, curly hair. ''Sarah,'' Andy stuttered. ''What are you doing here?'' In the two years Andy and Sam had dated, Sarah only visited Toronto once.

''I was in the city, thought I'd meet my brother for lunch,'' Sarah calmly said. Even though the girl in front of her broke her brother's heart, Sarah couldn't not be civil to her.

''He's out on patrol.'' Andy's face turned red the moment she saw her ex-sister-in-law standing in front of her.

''I know, he told me to meet him here.'' Sarah didn't show any sign of leaving, so Andy kept looking at her. ''He mentioned you worked here now, everything going okay for you?''

''Yeah, it's great,'' Andy replied, clearly still slightly in shock. ''You? I mean, have you been doing okay?''

''I'm good,'' Sarah said. ''Gotta say I was a little surprised to find out you and Sam broke up. He actually didn't even tell me that, he just disappeared.''

Andy couldn't help but hear some judgement in Sarah's tone. By now she was used to that judgement, but she had always really liked Sarah, so it kind of stung to hear. ''Sorry,'' she muttered.

''Hey, if you were unhappy..,'' Sarah tried. She was hoping to get the real story out of Andy, she didn't buy the story Sam told her.

''I wasn't.'' Andy regretted the words the moment they came out of her mouth, she should just shut up and let people believe what they want to believe. ''I mean, it just was the right thing to do.''

''For who?'' Andy felt like she was being interrogated, and the worst thing was that Sarah didn't even seem to hate her for her decisions. Where Jerry had been less than friendly, Sarah kept her tone neutral.

''Sam.'' Andy tried to get her mouth to stop talking, but that didn't work. Sarah had her way of getting things out of you, even if you didn't feel like telling those stories.

''I don't really see how that is possible, but okay.'' Sarah kept staring at Andy while Andy tried to focus on the computer screen in front of her. ''He was happy when he was with you, happier than I have seen him. Ever.''

''Things change.'' Andy didn't even look up anymore, afraid of the woman in front of her. ''Look, you can wait inside for him, he'll probably be here soon.''

''Okay, it was nice seeing you again, Andy.'' Sarah gave Andy one more look before walking through the door.

''Yeah,'' Andy murmured, before she tried to focus on the screen in front of her again.

XX

''Andy looks good,'' Sarah stated while Sam sat down in the restaurant. ''Thinner than she was before, but good.'' Sarah waited to see what Sam would say, but he didn't say anything, he just focused on the menu. ''You didn't notice?''

''Sarah,'' Sam warned his sister. ''We are over, and I don't need you to butt in on it.''

''What?'' Sarah used her most innocent voice. ''I just said she looks good, she does.''

''Sure, Sarah,'' Sam tried to dismiss his sister.

''You guys worked together already?''

''Nope.''

''Why not?'' Sarah tried to press the issue a little further. She knew her brother wasn't a talker, but she wanted to know how he felt for the girl right now.

''Because our boss didn't partner us yet?'' Sam looked at Sarah and shrugged his shoulders.

''Oh, but that could happen?''

''Well Sarah, she's a rookie and I'm a training officer. So, yes, probably she will be assigned to me in the future. Any more questions, or can we order?'' Sam started to lose his temper a little. He got enough grieve from Oliver about Andy. Oliver seemed to be convinced the two of them could make it work again.

''Sorry,'' Sarah murmured. ''Didn't know you'd get mad.'' Sarah focused on her menu and decided to check the waters again. ''But the two of you haven't talked about anything?''

''Sarah!'' Sam said. ''I am not going to discuss this with you, my personal life is my business.''

''Okay, let's just order,'' Sarah brushed it off.

Sam and Sarah ate together and both avoided the topic of Andy McNally. When they finished lunch, Sam went to pay the check. He drove Sarah back to her car and they said their goodbyes.

When Sam entered the locker room, later that day, Boyd came in right behind him. ''Sammy,'' he yelled out. ''I need your answer.''

Sam sighed and ran his hand across his face. ''I don't know,'' Sam said.

''I already gave you more time, we need to move this operation up.'' Boyd looked at Sam with a smug expression. ''You are the man for this job Sam, you know it. This is a great opportunity, just think about it.. The guy that brought down Anton Hill, brings down Jamie Brennan a few months later?''

''I don't care about a shoulder pat from the mayor,'' Sam said. And he didn't, he honestly couldn't care less about crap like that.

''I'm going to call you tonight, and you'll have your answer,'' Boyd let him know. After that Boyd turned around and walked out of the locker room.

Sam got changed and weighed his options. He didn't want to leave his friends again, but it was a good opportunity. It would take him away from Andy, but not seeing her anymore didn't sound appealing either.

After he got changed Sam walked out of the barn, when he reached the parking lot, his decision was made. He saw Luke leading Andy to his car, his hand was on her back and Andy smiled while she got in. There was no way that Sam was going to watch Luke Callaghan cozy up with Andy.

He'd rather go undercover again.

XX

Andy came out of the locker room when she passed Luke.

''Andy, wait up.''

Andy sighed and put a smile on her face, before she turned around. Luke had been flirting with her for weeks now, but she really wasn't interested. She did have to work with him though, so she couldn't really be rude to him.

''You going to the penny?'' Luke asked.

''Yeah, I was just on my way,'' Andy replied.

''Let me give you a ride.''

Andy knew he was the only available ride left, all the other rookies were gone already. ''That's okay, I can walk.''

''Come on Andy, just a ride.'' Luke smiled at her and Andy gave up. She was feeling tired after working a complete shift for the first time in a week.

''Yeah, sure,'' she said.

''Let me just grab my stuff, okay?'' Luke went into his office and came back five minutes later. ''Ready to go?''

''Yes,'' Andy answered. While they walked towards the parking lot, Luke put his hand on Andy's back. Andy felt slightly uncomfortable, but the gesture was perfectly innocent, so she didn't do anything about it. She smiled at Luke, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

Andy moved to the passenger seat. When Luke put his car in drive, she locked eyes with Sam. Andy forced herself to look away and focus on what Luke was saying.

When Andy glanced back one more time, Sam was gone.

XX

_Authors note: So, Sam took another undercover... _

_Let me know how you guys feel about that. _


	7. Chapter 7

Here's chapter 7. I thought this chapter wouldn't be up till Wednesday, but the awesome reviews inspired me to sit down on my free Sunday and type away.

I know you're all anxious for Andy to reveal her secret to Sam, she will, don't worry.

Just not right away, sorry!

This story is mostly flashback, just to give some more background to their relationship.

Hope you'll enjoy it!

XX

Sam dreaded the phone call he was about to make. Normally you weren't allowed to contact family before going undercover, but he told Boyd he wouldn't go if he wouldn't be allowed to call Sarah. He owed her at least that. Sam looked at his phone for two more minutes before hitting the speed dial. It only took two rings for Sarah to answer.

''_Sam,'' _she started_. ''Something wrong?'' _Sarah knew her brother wouldn't be calling unless there was something urgent going on. She saw him the day before, and they could go weeks without speaking to each other.

''I'm fine Sarah.'' Sam took a deep breath before continuing. ''Just wanted to let you know, I'll be gone for a while.''

''_No.'' _Sarah refused to let her baby brother go like that. He just got home and she was really, really sick of worrying about him all the time. She worried too when he was working the streets, but at least there, he got a partner to back him up. Not to mention he got to wear a vest there, a vest that had saved his life on multiple occasions.

''It probably won't be as long as the last one,'' Sam tried to make his sister feel better. He knew that was a lost cost, Sarah would worry about him and he knew it.

''_The last time you were gone for a year,'' _Sarah stayed silent for a while, while Sam waited for her to continue. ''_Is this about Andy?'' _Sarah asked.

''No,'' Sam lied. ''It's a good opportunity for me.'' That was true too, Sam lived for his job and he knew this would get him some attention. Maybe this would be his in into Guns and Gangs.

''_Sam..'' _Sarah didn't finish her sentence and Sam knew she was on the verge of tears.

''It's going to be okay Sarah,'' Sam promised. ''I know what to expect, it's not as dangerous as the last one and I know what I am getting myself into. I've got to do this.'' Sam lied again; this one was definitely just as dangerous as the last one was. He saw the files on Jamie Brennan, if he wouldn't be able to keep up his cover, Sam would be dead.

''_Don't even bother,'' _Sarah said. ''_It's dangerous, they don't send people undercover unless there is some major criminal involved.'' _

''I got to go Sarah,'' Sam tried again.

''_No, you are making the decision to go instead of facing your problems like a normal adult.'' _Sarah's voice didn't leave any room for discussion. She was pissed and Sam could hear it.

''If I ever want to get into Guns and Gangs, this is my way in.''

''_If you ever want a chance on a normal life, you stay and you talk to her.'' _Sam rolled his eyes and thought about how much Sarah sounded like a mother. _''You can't leave every time things get hard Sam.''_

''Sarah,'' Sam warned his sister. ''Andy and I are over, no conversation is going to change that.''

''_Maybe not, but you could at least get some closure, so you can go on with your life. But no, Sam Swarek off to save the world once again.'' _Sarah took a deep breath and tried to pull herself together again. _''I'm sorry,'' _she said after she composed herself. _''Just promise me you'll be careful.'' _

''I will,'' Sam promised her. ''I'll call you as soon as I can. I'll try to get someone to give you updates, okay?''

''_Yeah.'' _Sarah had gotten updates before. Sometimes Sam's handler would call her, just to let her know he was doing okay. _''I'm going to miss you.'' _

''I will miss you too.'' Sam knew Sarah would miss him, but she didn't need him anymore, not like she used to. ''Just promise me, if you need anything; call Jerry or Oliver, okay? They will help you with whatever you need.''

''_I will.'' _

''Okay..'' Sam didn't know what else was left to say. ''I have to go now, take care of yourself.''

''_You too,'' _Sarah said with a small voice. _''Be safe.'' _

With that Sam ended the phone call and sighed deeply. Sam walked over to the window and leaned against the wall. He hated phone calls like this, he hated hurting Sarah. Sarah had been the one consistent factor in his life, she had always been there. Right now she had her own life, she didn't need him to hold her hand anymore.

Oliver had Zoë, he would be fine too. Jerry had Nash, he finally seemed happy again. Andy would probably fall in love with Callaghan, and why wouldn't she. Callaghan probably would be better for her than he ever was. Before he met her, he hadn't ever been in a serious relationship. Of course there had been women, but most of the time he was the rebound guy.

Sam was the kind of guy that people ran too for help, whenever he had given that help, he could go again. Sam always thought he was fine living a life like that; he couldn't picture himself coming home to a family. Until he met her, but right now, that was over and he needed to get his act together. He needed to focus on his career, that was the best thing in his life right now.

Sam slowly moved away from the window and went upstairs. It was time to pack some stuff, time to go.

XX

_Andy woke up when she felt a hand sneak underneath her shirt. She opened one eye and put her hand over Sam's. When she turned around to face him, he was propped up on an elbow, watching her. _

''_Feeling me up while I'm sleeping?'' she asked. _

_Sam started laughing and leaned down to kiss her good morning. ''We have to go soon,'' he told her. ''Sarah will kill me if we're late.'' _

''_Being late to your own sister's wedding would be a rude thing to do,'' Andy agreed. ''But the wedding isn't until tomorrow.'' _

''_Yeah well, apparently it is highly important, we'll be there before two, today.'' Sam kissed Andy one more time and she turned her head a little, a signal for him that she wanted her neck kissed. _

''_You know, there's probably very little traffic,'' Andy said while Sam obeyed her silent request. ''And I haven't had you to myself in a very long time.'' _

''_Oh?'' Sam looked as innocent as he could. ''What are you suggesting?'' _

_Andy started laughing and tugged on Sam until he crawled on top of her. ''I'm suggesting we get in a little workout before we leave. And if Sarah will give you a hard time, blame it on me.'' _

''_Keep talking about my sister,'' Sam said. ''And I'll guarantee you, we'll be on time.'' _

''_Enough talking,'' Andy agreed. _

_XX_

_During the car ride to St. Catherine's they bickered about what radio station to put on. Sam was a classic rock kind of guy, Andy hated that. After a while Sam just turned off the radio, because Andy started nodding off. When he parked the truck in front of Sarah's house, he gently shook her awake. _

_They went inside and were welcomed by a stressed Sarah. She immediately told Sam to put on his tux, because she wanted to make sure it fitted right. Andy showed Sarah her dress and Sarah showed Andy hers. _

_The rest of the day was filled with calming down Sarah and making some last minutes arrangements. Sam and Andy stayed the night with Sarah. Will, her future husband, left the house for the night. _

''_She looks happy'' Andy smiled at Sam while she was moisturising her legs. Sam was already in bed, waiting for her to join him. ''Actually, she looks very stressed out, but underneath all that stress is happiness.'' _

_Sam chuckled and motioned for Andy to come to bed. ''She'd better be happy,'' Sam said. ''I'm going to wear a tux and walk her down the aisle in front of a lot of people.'' _

''_Yeah, because tomorrow is all about you.'' Andy used the most sarcastic tone she had in her. She crawled into bed and laid her head on Sam's chest. Sam started playing with her hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. ''God, throwing a wedding is so much work. Seriously, I didn't even know half of the things Sarah talked about existed.''_

''_Yeah, that's what you get when you invite half of Ontario to your wedding, things will get a little crazy.'' Sam was still playing with Andy's hair with one hand, while his other hand was running up and down her sides. _

''_Yeah, she probably won't even be able to talk to everybody she invited,'' Andy agreed. _

''_As long as she is happy,'' Sam quietly added. ''She's come a long way.'' Sam could still remember the expression on Sarah's face after her first date. Sam spend the entire night sitting with her, talking to her and just making sure she was alright. Every date ended in disaster, until Will came along. Sam was a little hesitant to let someone close to his sister, but Will had proven he really loved Sarah. Most of all, he respected her. _

''_And you get the pleasure of walking her down the aisle,'' Andy tried to break the tension. _

''_Yeah, that's great,'' Sam sarcastically agreed. _

''_Everybody will be looking at the dress.'' Andy tried to console Sam, she knew he hated getting attention. ''Nobody will even look at you.'' _

''_Nobody huh?'' Sam teased while he rolled on top of her. _

''_Well.. maybe one pair of wondering eyes will land on you.'' Andy pressed her lips to his. ''After all, you look really good in a tux.'' _

_Sam laughed and kissed her back before rolling off of her again. ''We'd better try and get some sleep,'' he told her. ''Sarah will probably be banging on our door in six hours.'' _

''_Yeah.'' Andy adjusted her pillow and closed her eyes. _

_XX_

_The next day flew by. Sarah looked gorgeous, the ceremony was beautiful and Will looked like the happiest man alive. When Andy was dancing with one of Sarah's friends, Sarah sat down next to Sam. _

''_So, by the look of her finger, grandma's ring is still somewhere in your sock drawer?'' Sarah asked. _

''_Sarah,'' Sam tried to stop his sister. ''We talked about this.'' _

''_Just saying.'' Sarah smiled. ''Didn't give you that ring so it could rot away somewhere.'' When Sam had asked Andy to move in with him, Sarah had given Sam their grandmother's old ring. The ring was old, but it wasn't old fashioned. Sam had taken the ring, but also told Sarah not to expect him to propose anytime soon. _

''_She's young Sare,'' Sam said. _

''_You're not getting any younger, Sam,'' Sarah shot back. _

''_You are four years older than me and you just got married. Don't act like I'm behind on you.'' Sam knew Sarah wanted what was best for him, but he was happy. He didn't need a ring and a piece of paper to tell people Andy belonged with him. _

''_Just want to make sure you're happy, you deserve it,'' Sarah told him. Sam and her had always leaned on each other, simply because there were little other people to lean on. No matter how old they were, Sarah would always look out for her baby brother. _

''_I am happy.'' Sam smiled at his sister. ''I don't need a piece of paper to be happy.'' _

''_Neither do I,'' Sarah agreed. ''But it feels nice though, to have it on paper.'' _

''_I'm happy for you, really am.'' Sam gave his sister a one-armed hug. ''And you look really beautiful,'' he added._

''_Wow, a compliment from Sam Swarek, who would have thought.'' Sarah teased. ''Any chance I can get you on the dance floor?'' _

''_Not a chance.'' _

''_Thought so.'' _

_XX_

_An hour later Sarah found Andy, she was standing alone at one of the tables. _

''_You had enough of dancing?'' Sarah asked. She knew Andy was a little more outgoing than Sam was, but that wasn't something that was hard to achieve. _

''_Yeah, for now.'' Andy smiled at Sarah. ''It was a really beautiful ceremony,'' Andy complimented. ''And you look absolutely stunning.'' _

''_Thank you.'' Sarah smiled at Andy and decided to check how Andy was feeling about marriage. ''You see yourself in one of these anytime soon?'' She asked while tugging on her dress. _

''_What?'' Andy quickly asked. ''No, of course not.'' _

''_Of course not?'' Sarah asked slightly shocked. ''I thought you and Sam were in a good place?'' _

''_Yeah, we are, but we've been together for like.. a year and a half?'' Andy shook her head. ''There's no way we are ready for that.''_

''_Oh,'' Sarah said. That earned her a glare from Andy. _

''_Did Sam say something?'' she asked. _

''_No,'' Sarah truthfully answered. ''I just thought, maybe.. you know.'' _

''_I doubt Sam will ever want to get married,'' Andy told Sarah. _

''_You guys never talked about it?'' _

_Andy shook her head and looked around the room. ''Not really.'' She shrugged. ''Doesn't really matter anyway.'' The two women stood together for a while, completely silent. _

''_How about kids?'' Sarah asked. _

_Andy laughed and gave Sarah a long look. ''You really never give up do you?'' _

''_Nope,'' Sarah said, popping the p. ''Plus, this is like my wedding day. Consider your honesty your gift to me.''_

''_I doubt I'd be a good mom,'' Andy admitted. ''Didn't really have much of an example.'' _

_Sarah felt her heart cringe when she saw the look in Andy's eyes. She hated herself for bringing the subject up, Sam had told her Andy's mom abandoned her. ''I'm sorry,'' Sarah tried to make Andy feel better. ''I shouldn't have brought it up.'' _

''_It's okay,'' Andy promised. ''I just don't think I'm cut out for it.'' _

''_People don't always end up like their parents Andy.'' _

''_I know.'' Andy's tone had changed during their conversation. When Sarah had approached her she sounded happy, now she sounded vulnerable and hurt. _

''_What's going on?'' Sam asked when he joined his sister and girlfriend at the table. _

''_Nothing.'' Andy quickly forced a smile on her face. She gave Sam a peck on the lips and whipped away a trace of lipstick from his lips when the kiss ended. _

''_I'll leave you two, I've got a husband to get to.'' Sarah turned around and tried to spot Will in the crowd. When she saw his face, she walked towards him, leaving Sam and Andy alone again. _

''_What's wrong?'' Sam knew his girlfriend and the smile on her face was not sincere. He put an arm around her waist and made her turn around, so she would look at him. _

''_Nothing,'' Andy promised. ''I'm fine.'' _

''_Yeah, you always are,'' Sam muttered. ''Did she say something to you?'' _

''_No, just let it go, please.'' Andy gave Sam a hug and a kiss to his neck. ''I love you and I promise I'm fine.'' Andy smiled and this smile was more genuine than her last one. ''Please dance with me?'' Sam groaned and looked at the dance floor. ''Come on, one dance. Look, the dance floor is loaded, no one will even notice you.'' _

_Sam heard the music change to a slow song. ''One dance,'' he told Andy before getting a hold of her hand. He walked her to the dance floor and took her in his arms. Andy laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, just enjoying the moment. ''I love you,'' Sam whispered in her ear. _

_Andy's head snapped up and she blinked three times. ''Wow,'' she let out. ''That was unexpected.'' She put her head down again and squeezed his hand. _

''_What?'' Sam asked. _

''_You never tell me you love me.'' Andy shrugged her shoulders a little and began moving to the music again. _

''_You know I love you.'' _

''_I do,'' Andy responded. ''It's nice to hear though.'' _

''_Sorry, you deserve to hear it more often,'' Sam acknowledged. He pressed he kiss to her temple and held her close to him. _

''_Doesn't matter,'' Andy told him. ''You show it to me, that's what matters more.'' _

_They stayed together like that, during the entire song. When the song ended, Andy reluctantly let go of Sam and sighed. ''That was nice.'' _

''_Come here.'' Sam laughed. ''If it makes you look this happy, I'll give you another dance.'' _

''_Deep down there, there's a romantic soul.'' Andy smiled and stepped in his arms again. _

''_So.. you ready to tell me what you and Sarah were talking about, when I joined?'' Sam asked again. _

_Andy sighed. ''It was nothing, really, she just said something that got me thinking.'' _

''_What?''_

''_She asked if I wanted kids,'' Andy admitted. ''Just made me realise what a horrible mother I would be.'' _

''_That's not true,'' Sam said without even thinking twice about it. ''You would be a great mom.'' When Andy shook her head, Sam put his hand on her neck, gently forcing her to look at him. ''Hey,'' he started again. ''You are one of the most loving and giving people I've ever met. I don't know what's in our future, but if it involves kids, you'll be a great mom.'' _

''_Wow, I get a lot of compliments out of you today.'' Andy gave Sam a sad smile. ''Do you want kids?'' Andy always was hesitant to bring the subject up, but now they were already talking about it. _

''_Maybe, I'm not sure,'' Sam told her. ''Never gave it much thought.'' Andy nodded. ''Since I met you, I think that maybe, one day, it could happen.'' '_

_Andy smiled at that. ''You would be a good dad,'' she said. ''Actually, you would be a great dad.'' Andy slowly let her hand drift to Sam's side. ''You always look out for everybody you care about, you're loyal and you are patient. I think that are the qualities that make a good dad.'' _

''_Then we'll just see what the future has in store for us,'' Sam said before kissing her softly. _

_XX_

''Andy,'' Traci said. She took a deep breath, knowing her friend wouldn't be happy with what she was about to tell her.

''What?'' Andy smiled at her friend, but the look on Traci's face told her something serious was going on. ''Trace, what's wrong?''

''I just talked to Jerry.'' Traci paused for a moment. ''He told me Sam is gone again.''

''Gone?'' Andy asked.

''Undercover, apparently that was the reason Boyd was here all the time, he was trying to get Sam to go undercover again. Jerry just talked to Best and apparently, he took the job.''

Andy slowly nodded, there was no reason why this should affect her. They weren't a thing anymore, they barely even spoke since he came back from his last operation. Still, it felt nice to see him every day. Even if she wasn't allowed to touch him anymore, even if she couldn't find words to talk to him. ''Okay, well, that doesn't really change anything,'' Andy responded. ''We hardly ever worked together.'' They had crossed paths on scenes and at the barn, but they were never partners. ''Gail is the one who will be getting a new T.O.''

''Yeah,'' Traci said. ''Still, thought you'd like to find out before parade.''

''Yeah, sure, thanks Trace.'' Andy quickly changed into her uniform and tried to push the thoughts of Sam away.

''Did you already give Luke an answer?'' It looked like Traci wasn't done talking yet, but Andy really, really didn't want to talk about this.

''Didn't need to,'' she admitted. Luke had been asking her out on a date for a while now, Traci knew that.

''You left with him at the Penny yesterday, anything happen?''

''I only left with him because you needed to go home to Leo. He insisted, wouldn't let me walk home alone.'' Andy shrugged, she knew she was encouraging his flirting by accepting the ride. Then again, walking home at two in the morning probably wasn't the safest option, even if she did it more often.

''So, nothing happened?'' Traci asked again.

Andy cringed and let out a long breath. ''He kissed me.. or tried to kiss me, but I pushed him away.''

''Andy,'' Traci said, her voice filled with sympathy.

''Not because.. not because of.. that,'' Andy said, knowing Traci would get what she was talking about. When Traci shot her a look, Andy spoke up again. ''Seriously Traci, it's not because of that. I have kissed other guys since that night and I promise, I'm fine.''

''Then why push him away?''

''Because I didn't want him kissing me,'' Andy explained. ''And I know, there must be something seriously wrong with me.''

''What do you mean?''

''Come on.'' Andy let out a sarcastic laugh. ''He has a good job, he is good looking and actually seems like a nice guy. I seriously don't understand why I can't make myself like him.''

''You're not over Sam yet,'' Traci reasoned with her best friend, she heard Andy sigh. ''What? You're not and that makes sense, the two of you never properly talked about things.''

''There was nothing left to talk about.''

''There is always something to talk about, but you never got closure with him.''

''Well, it's been a year, it's time I get my stupid brain over it.'' Andy closed her locker and straightened her collar. ''Besides, he's gone again. Who knows how long it will be before he gets back?''

''Could be months again.'' Traci stood up too and put her hand on Andy's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. ''Maybe you should just go out with Luke, what's the worst that could happen?''

''I work with him, not really someone you want to experiment around with.'' Andy really didn't think a date with Luke Callaghan would solve her issues.

''How did he react when you pushed him away?''

''He actually apologized. Like I said, he's a good guy, I'm not going to take advantage of that.'' Andy shook her head and headed towards the door.

''Okay.'' Traci knew better than to press the subject. ''Maybe we should go out sometime soon, just the two of us and Gail. Who knows who you'll meet.''

Andy knew her heart probably wouldn't open up to anybody anytime soon, but that seemed pathetic and ridiculous, so she just smiled. ''Yeah, who knows.''

XX

So this was just a chapter to build on, but I promise that from here on things will start moving a little faster.

Please let me know how you feel about the story so far in a review, they really motivate me and give me ideas for the new chapters.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, I'm a little unsure about this chapter, but here you go anyway.

I know that in real life this situation probably wouldn't play out like this, but just remember it's _fiction. _Besides, I've got no clue whatsoever about law enforcement, so I'm just making stuff up here.

XX

Andy was lying in bed. Sam was gone for two months now and during the day she was fine, at night she worried sick. She didn't know what case he was working, but undercover work was always dangerous.

Andy tried to get some information out of Oliver, but he didn't seem to know a lot either. All she heard was that Boyd was his handler, Boyd was responsible for his safety. That same Boyd that tried to rape her and had threatened Sam's career before.

Andy was lying in bed now, trying to reason with herself; the only reason Boyd threatened Sam was because he didn't want him to know about the near rape. Now Sam was exactly where Boyd wanted him, so there wasn't any reason why Boyd would hurt Sam. Still, someone like Boyd shouldn't be responsible for another person's safety.

Andy had talked to Traci about it, but they both came to the same conclusion: there's nothing they can do. There isn't any prove Boyd did anything to hurt Andy or threaten Sam. It would be her word against his and she would probably look like a concerned girl that was still hung up on her ex. Andy sighed and rolled over on her stomach, the thoughts of Sam didn't leave her mind, not even when sleep overtook her.

XX

Sam was lying in bed in his cover apartment. He had to admit: he had worse. This apartment was clean, reasonably big and it wasn't even in the worst neighborhood. He had been working Jamie Brennan for two months now, but there wasn't any sign the guy was still in the life. Sam was beginning to believe he actually changed.

His job at Brennan's warehouse was boring, Sam was pretty much done, he wanted out. The last time he had called Boyd and told him there was nothing new, Boyd insisted once again that there had to be something there. Sam tried to speed things up by dealing in the warehouse, but that only seemed to piss Brennan off. The guy actually came to his house this morning to talk about it. He wanted to know where he got the drugs, Sam informed him he had a boat '_God's good grace'. _

Sam was just hoping that Brennan would want an in on the deals, that would be Sam's in to get more incriminating information. So far, no luck.

Sam's thoughts went to everything he left behind. He wondered how Sarah was doing, if Jerry was still dating Nash and if Oliver still made McNally pay for his lunch. Mostly McNally, he wondered how she was. Oliver told him her dad sobered up, he hoped that would stay like that this time. Maybe McNally was dating Callaghan now, wouldn't surprise him. If not, she probably found another guy. Sam had seen her at the Penny, guys were drooling all over her, but she didn't even seem to notice.

Sam just hoped she was okay, that she was happy. No matter what happened between them, she deserved happiness.

Sam's thoughts were interrupted when there was a knock on the door. He didn't expect anybody, so he yelled out first.

''Yeah?''

''JD,'' he head his boss's voice yell. ''Open up.''

XX

''Andy,'' Traci called out to her best friend. Andy seemed surprised Traci was already in uniform, but Traci had her reasons.

''What the hell is going on?'' Andy asked. She looked around the barn and saw a lot of officers she didn't even know. They all had concerned expressions on their faces. ''Traci, what happened?'' Andy had seen looks like that before. Usually when someone had gotten hurt on the job, Andy had seen her father with that expression on a few occasions.

''They don't know where Swarek is,'' Traci answered. ''Apparently the guy he was working showed up at his apartment last night, but after that he disappeared.''

''What do you mean he disappeared?'' Andy practically yelled out. This was her biggest fear, she should have done something to stop him from going. She should have been honest with him from the start. She was a fool.

''He was suppose to call Boyd this morning, but he didn't. When they checked out his apartment, they found blood stains on the stairs.'' Traci slowly approached Andy and wrapped one arm around her. ''Look, half of the Toronto Police Department is looking for him. Most people volunteered to work double shift, they will find him.''

Andy looked around again and saw Best standing in his office, he was making a phone call and was obviously distressed. The seriousness of the situation was clear to Andy; Sam's life was in danger. Andy took a shaky breath and blinked away her tears. ''What can we do?'' she asked Traci.

''We are assigned to patrol. They only have senior officers on this case.'' Traci looked sympathetic, but Andy didn't care.

''No, I'm helping.'' Andy's voice didn't leave any room for discussion. She didn't care if she would get fired over this, but there was no way she was going to stand on the side lines on this one.

''Andy,'' Traci started.

''No,'' Andy cut her off. ''I don't care, I'm not going out on patrol.'' Andy walked towards the D's office, she knew her way into this case. Andy and Luke didn't get romantically involved, but they did become friends over the last few months. At least, Andy liked to think they were friends. Luke sometimes looked like he wanted more, but Andy made it clear she was flattered, yet not interested. Sometimes they had a drink together at the Penny, but Luke never tried anything else with her after she blew him off the first time.

Andy walked into his office and waited until Luke finished his phone call. She was still dressed in her civvies, but that didn't matter right now.

When Luke hang up the phone he looked her in the eye. ''Andy, I don't have time right now,'' he said.

''I want to work with you today,'' Andy told him. When Luke shook his head she took a step forward and gave him her most pleading look. ''Luke, I heard what happened and I know you are all working on this. Please let me help, I need to help.''

Luke kept looking at her with his blue eyes. He had heard Andy was involved with Sam before he went undercover for Hill, but he didn't know on what terms they ended. They didn't seem overly friendly when Sam was working at 15th, but he never noticed any discomfort between the two either. ''Andy we are all working on this, one set of eyes won't change anything. Frank needs you rookies to..''

''I don't care,'' Andy cut him off again. ''I just need to work this, they can fire me afterwards.'' Andy looked Luke in the eye and he saw unshed tears. ''Please Luke,'' she begged.

Luke sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. ''There really isn't much you can do,'' he tried.

''I'll do anything, I don't care.''

Luke sighed one more time and ran his hand across his face. ''Okay, Frank is too busy right now so I'll tell Edwards to take over your shift on patrol. You're with me for the day.''

''Thank you,'' Andy whispered. She still remembered the last time she felt like this. It was a long time ago, but it felt like it was yesterday.

XX

_Andy had been living with Sam for two months. Things were going great, she was happy and he seemed happy too. She was vacuuming the living room when the doorbell rang. Andy looked at the clock and frowned. She wasn't expecting anybody and it was way too early for Sam to be home already. Besides, Sam wouldn't need to ring the doorbell. _

_Andy walked to the door and opened it, when she saw Oliver and Frank stand on her doorstep, she knew it was bad news. _

''_Is he?'' she asked, not daring to finish that sentence. _

''_He's alive.'' Oliver took a step forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. ''He got stabbed, but he's alive.'' _

''_How?'' That was the only thing Andy managed to say, she didn't understand. How could he have gotten stabbed? He wears a vest, he has a partner. _

''_He got stabbed just under his vest,'' Oliver paused for a moment and tried to compose himself. ''He was conscious when I arrived. Jerry rode with him in the ambulance, he made me promise I'd tell you. Andy, we need to go to the hospital, so grab a coat and come with us okay?'' _

_Andy simply nodded and reached behind her to grab the first coat she could find. She walked out the door and turned around again when Frank didn't follow. ''You need to lock up,'' he said. _

_Andy felt like she was moving through a fog, she simply nodded and returned to the house. She quickly turned off a few things in the house, grabbed a key and locked up. Frank was already in the cruiser, but Oliver had waited for her by the front door. When she came out he put his arm around her, resting his hand on her shoulder. ''Sam is tough,'' he told her. ''He'll pull through this Andy, I've seen a lot worse.'' _

_Andy wanted to believe him, but she knew that there was a chance on complications. He could have internal injuries, too much blood loss, infections, basically there were a million things to worry about. _

_During the car ride to the hospital, she didn't say anything. No matter what she would ask, the answer wouldn't be satisfying. As soon as the car stopped, she tried to open the door. Of course, in a cruiser the backdoor won't open from the inside. Oliver had already opened the door before she could say something and she ran out of the car. _

_She saw Jerry sitting in the waiting room and walked towards him. ''Jerry?'' Her voice sounded weak, vulnerable, but for once she didn't care. She felt weak and vulnerable right now. _

''_He's in surgery,'' Jerry informed her. ''They gave him oxygen in the ambulance, he had a scan and there was some internal bleeding.'' _

''_Did they say anything about his chances?'' Andy needed to know he would pull through this. _

''_No,'' Jerry admitted. ''Look, we'll just have to wait, let me grab you a coffee.'' Jerry quickly placed his hand on Andy's shoulder and left her alone with Oliver. Oliver was better with Andy than he was anyway. Jerry didn't have anything against Andy, but he wasn't really close to the girl. _

_They waited for over three hours before they finally got an update. When the surgeon came out, everybody stood up. ''Andrea McNally?'' the doctor asked. _

''_That's me,'' Andy nervously raised her hand. ''How is he?'' _

''_Could you walk with me?'' the doctor asked. ''You are the only person on his emergency contact list.'' _

''_You can tell me here,'' Andy replied. No matter what the news was, Sam's friends had a right to know, just as much as she did. She wasn't really sure she would be able to repeat the doctors words to his friends anyway, she felt like she wasn't even breathing. _

_The doctor looked at her for a moment before continuing. ''Officer Swarek suffered from a stab wound to the abdomen. We did a scan and noticed some internal bleeding, we were able to repair the damage, but he did lose a significant amount of blood.'' _

''_Will he be okay?'' Andy didn't care for all the medical terms, she wouldn't understand them anyway. She just needed to know if he was okay, if he was going to be okay._

''_He will need blood, but for as far as I can say now, I'm positive he'll make a full recovery.'' _

_Andy let out a breath and closed her eyes, silently thanking God or whoever was in charge in this world for letting him live. ''Thank you,'' she told the doctor. ''Can we see him?'' _

''_He's still in recovery.'' The doctor checked her pager that went off before looking up again. ''We'll move him to a private room in half an hour. He can have visitors then, but only one at the time.''_

_Andy just nodded again and heard how Jerry, Frank and Oliver thanked the doctor again. In the time they had been in the waiting room, more officers had joined them. The staff sergeant of 15__th__, Boyko, was sitting besides Jerry when the doctor arrived and left as soon as he heard that Sam would be okay. _

_When a nurse came to tell them Sam was moved to a private room, Andy expectantly looked at his friends. _

''_Go,'' Jerry said. ''He's going to want to see you when he wakes up.'' _

_Andy gave him a weak smile and followed the nurse. When they reached Sam's room she took a deep breath, preparing herself for whatever was behind that door. When she saw Sam she started crying, he looked so pale and fragile in that hospital bed. Andy quickly walked to the bed and took his hand. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and sat down beside him. _

_Andy kept looking at his face, she memorized every feature a long time ago, but right now she needed to remind herself that he was here and that he was going to be okay. It felt like days, but probably an hour later Sam opened his eyes. He blinked a few times and Andy immediately sat up straight. She ran a hand trough his hair and gave him a small smile while tears threatened to fall again. _

''_Hey.'' Sam's voice was hoarse. _

''_Hey,'' Andy replied. Sam closed his eyes again and opened them a few seconds later. He lifted his hand and cupped her cheek. With his thumb he whipped away the tear that was on her cheek. ''You are going to be alright,'' Andy said, more to comfort herself than him. _

''_Of course,'' Sam simply answered. _

_Andy leaned forward and pressed her lips to Sam's. It was a totally innocent kiss, but it was more intense than any other kiss they ever shared. When they broke apart Andy saw Sam wince in pain. _

''_I'll go get a doctor,'' Andy said before standing up. Sam took her hand and shook his head. _

''_Don't need painkillers, just stay here for a moment.'' _

''_I need to tell your friends you woke up.'' Andy knew that there would still be a lot of officers in the waiting room. Sam was loved at the division and a lot of people wouldn't leave before knowing he was okay. _

''_In a minute,'' Sam protested. ''Just stay for a minute.'' After that Sam closed his eyes again. Andy stayed until she knew he was asleep. She informed the nurse that Sam had woken up, but was asleep again. After that she went to his friends and told them the same. Most officers decided to head home, only Jerry and Oliver stayed. _

_The next few weeks were all about Sam's recovery. He hated the fact that he needed Andy to take care of him, but she secretly loved that she was the one that was taking care of him for a change. _

_Three weeks after his accident, Andy woke up in the middle of the night. The other side of the bed was empty and she saw the light in the bathroom was off. Andy quickly left the bed, hoping that Sam was okay. She found him in the living room, standing in the dark in front of the window. _

''_Hey,'' she disturbed him from his thoughts. ''What's going on?'' _

''_Nothing.'' Sam brushed it off. ''Just thinking.'' _

''_About?'' _

''_We need to see someone'' Sam said. ''We've got to put some stuff on paper.'' _

''_Like?'' Andy asked. She didn't really see where this conversation was going. _

''_The house,'' Sam answered. ''We need to put it in your name too.'' _

''_What? Sam this is your house, what are you talking about?'' Andy had noticed that Sam was a little bit absent lately, but didn't think much of it. She would probably be a little absent too if she got stabbed. _

''_Look, my job is dangerous, the last few weeks have proven that. I don't want anything to happen to me and I promise you that I'll do anything I can to come home to you every night, but if one day I can't make that happen..'' Sam paused for a moment and looked Andy in the eye. ''If one day I can't come home to you, I need to make sure that you're taken care of.'' _

''_Sam, please,'' Andy pleaded. She didn't even want to think about anything happening to him ever again. _

''_We need to talk about this.'' Sam walked over to stand right in front of Andy. He cupped her cheek and brushed a few hairs from her face. ''I want to make sure you never have to worry about a roof above your head, okay?'' _

''_Sam, this is your house.'' _

''_Our house,'' he corrected her. _

''_Yeah, I live here now, but you paid for it. I can't pay for the mortgage.'' Andy shook her head and looked down. ''I've always got my dad to fall back on. _

_Sam was the one doing the headshaking now. Tommy had been drinking again, more than ever. It was killing Andy and he didn't want her to live in that life, never again. ''No,'' he said. ''This is your house, I don't care you can't pay for mortgage. If something happens to me, the house will be paid off with my life insurance.'' _

''_Sam, I don't even want to go there.''_

''_Me neither, but we have to be realistic and I need to know that no matter what, you'll be okay.'' Sam dipped his head down and slowly kissed her. Andy fisted the material of his shirt and sighed against his mouth. _

''_If something happens to you, I won't be okay.'' They hadn't really talked about how the incident affected Andy, but Sam knew she lay awake at night because of it. ''I was so scared when Oliver came to get me.'' _

''_I know,'' Sam muttered against her temple. ''I'm sorry.'' He circled her waist with his arms and pulled him against his chest. Andy rested her head there and closed her eyes for a moment. They stood together like that for a while, both with their own thoughts. _

''_I don't know what I'd do without you,'' she admitted. ''You are the one person in the world I feel safe with.'' _

_Sam didn't answer that, he just cupped her cheek again and kissed her fiercely. When she opened her mouth he deepened the kiss and put his hands on her rear. He tried to lift her up, normally she would take the hint and wrap her legs around his waist, but Andy didn't move. Sam tried again, but again she didn't respond. _

_Sam broke the kiss and smiled. ''Help a guy out here McNally..'' _

''_I don't want to hurt you,'' she admitted. _

''_I'm fine.'' Sam kissed her again and guided his body down. He put his hands under her knees, so he could lift her bridal style. When Andy started to protest again, he silenced her with a kiss. When they broke apart he reassured her again. ''Andy, seriously, I'm completely pain free.'' _

_Andy looked at him for a moment and then slowly nodded. Sam walked her back to their bedroom and gently lowered her to the bed. He removed the tank top she was wearing and attached his mouth to her neck. Andy wrapped her legs around his waist and quickly flipped him over. _

_When she was straddling him, Andy slowly kissed him on the mouth and moved down to his neck, chest and abdomen. She let her fingertips run over the scar that was very visible. ''I love you,'' she said before kissing him again. ''Really, more than anything.'' _

_XX_

Andy was working for five hours, but she felt like she worked four shifts in a row. They weren't making a lot of progress and Andy got more frustrated by the minute. There had to be some clue where Brennan would take Sam, there had to be a clue for _why _he took Sam.

She was disturbed from work when Traci walked in. ''Andy,'' she said. ''We need to talk.''

Andy looked up and followed Traci to the locker room. ''Aren't you suppose to be on patrol?'' Andy asked confused.

''Well, Sam is Jerry's best friend and he's important to you, so I thought..'' Traci waved her hand around to silence Andy. ''Doesn't really matter anyway, but I'm working with Jerry today. He's really stressed out and he mentioned something to me..''

''What?'' Andy asked.

''He said he never trusted Boyd as Sam's handler.'' Traci paused for a moment. ''He doesn't want to look into Boyd because he says he has no proof, he just has a feeling.''

''You want me to..?'' Andy knew what her best friend was suggesting.

''If you tell him what happened, he will know Boyd can't be trusted. We don't know if Boyd has anything to do with this, but if there's even the smallest chance...''

''I know,'' Andy said. She was tired of lying and covering up for Boyd. She honestly didn't even care about her career anymore, if they wanted to fire her, they should. ''Okay.''

''You sure?'' Traci checked.

''If there's even a small chance it will bring Sam back..'' Andy shrugged her shoulders. ''If nobody believes me, then that's that, I can't do nothing now.''

''You want to talk to Jerry?''

Andy nodded and followed Traci out of the locker room. She took a deep breath and gathered all her courage. She needed to do this, for Sam, but also for herself. She couldn't live in this lie anymore, it had been eating her alive over the past year and she was exhausted. It was time for the truth.

XX

''Jerry?'' Traci asked when she entered his office. ''We need to tell you something.''

''Trace, I don't have time right now, okay?'' Jerry didn't even look up from the board he was working on. He was trying to put together the pieces, but he couldn't figure out what blew Sam's cover.

''It's about Sam,'' Andy softly said. When Jerry turned around he looked her in the eye, he raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. ''Actually, it's about Boyd. Well, Boyd and Sam.''

''Look, this better be worth my time,'' Jerry said before standing up. He didn't know what cost this certain change of attitude, but McNally's face told him it was important. ''Let's go to an interrogation room, there are too many people here.

When all three of them were seated, Jerry told Andy to tell him what was going on. Andy looked at Traci, who gave her an encouraging nod. ''It's about Boyd,'' Andy started. ''You can't trust him.''

''And why would that be?'' Jerry asked. He checked his watch, Sam was gone for a lot of hours now, they had to move quickly.

''He has threatened Sam, on several occasions. I know he's my superior officer, but he can't be trusted, okay? If you'll ever believe a word I say, please believe this.'' Andy was actually begging Jerry now. She knew he wasn't a fan of her, she was surprised he even wanted to talk to her about this.

''When has a threatened Sam?'' Jerry's tone stayed neutral, but in his eyes something else was going on. His best friend was missing and he wanted to find the person responsible.

''Before he went undercover for Hill,'' Andy said. ''Boyd threatened to end his career.''

''Sam never told me that,'' Jerry responded. ''He would have told me that and Sam never would have worked for Boyd if he threatened him.'' Jerry stood up and wanted to leave.

''Sam doesn't know.'' Traci stood up and put her hand on Jerry's chest. ''Sam doesn't know Jerry. Boyd threatened Sam through Andy, that's why she left him.''

Jerry looked at Andy, she had her face in her hands and was breathing heavily. ''McNally?''

Andy looked Jerry in the eye and blinked away a tear. She took a deep breath and ran her hand up and down her thigh. ''Boyd tried to force himself on me one night. He was drunk and I thought I was helping him by getting him a hotel room.''

Jerry sat down again and started asking questions. He acted like he would with a witness, sympathetic, but not overly emotional. ''When was this?''

''Over a year ago, the night of the TPS fundraiser.'' Andy looked down at the ground.

''What happened exactly?''

Andy looked at Traci again, Traci put a hand on hers and squeezed it, just to let her know she was here for her. Andy swallowed and started telling the story once again. ''Boyd was really drunk, Sam had already left and I wanted to head home. Boyd said he was fine driving, but he was way too drunk, so I thought I'd book him a hotel room. We went back into the hotel, I took his credit card and got him a room. While I was at the reception, he passed out in one of the chairs, so I thought I'd bring him up to his room. He really seemed out of it, but when I wanted to take off his tie..''

Andy stopped for a moment to get her breathing under control. ''When I took off his tie he pushed me down on the bed. I tried to fight him, but he was too strong.'' She shook her head looked up at the ceiling. ''He started kissing me and his hands were all over me. I tried to scream for help, but he put his hand over my mouth.''

Jerry didn't ask any questions, he just let her tell him what happened. When Andy stopped talking, he knew it was his turn again. ''Did he?'' he didn't have to finish that question, Andy knew what the question was.

''He didn't get that far. I was able to fight him off before.. before he could do _that_. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. He started screaming that he would ruin Sam if I would ever tell him.'' Andy could no longer hold in the tears that were threatening to fall all day. ''I don't know how long I stayed in that bathroom, but when I came out Boyd laid on the bed, passed out. The next day he came to visit me. He said that what happened was wrong, but he would end Sam's career if he would ever find out.''

''Why didn't you press charges?'' Jerry asked.

''What's the point?'' Andy sobbed. ''No evidence, my word against his.''

Jerry knew that was true. No matter how wrong it was, because Boyd was a detective it would be even harder to pin him down. ''Sam doesn't know any of this?''

Andy slowly shook her head. ''I tried to stay with him, but he noticed something changed about me. I tried to make it work, but it didn't.''

''Why didn't you just tell him the truth, do you have any idea what you put him through?''

For the first time since she started her story, Andy looked Jerry in the eye. ''You know him,'' she said. ''You know what he would have done.''

Jerry just nodded, Sam would have killed Boyd, Andy was right. ''These are some serious accusations you're making against a superior, you know that right?''

''She's telling the truth Jerry,'' Traci couldn't help but stand up for her friend.

''I'm not saying I don't believe her, but she has to realise what the consequences can be.''

''I don't care,'' Andy firmly stated. ''We need to find Sam, after that they can fire me.''

Jerry looked at her for five more seconds before standing up. ''We'll keep this conversation between us, I'll talk to Frank and convince him we need to look into Boyd. Frank isn't a big fan of Boyd either, so that should work out. The two of you are going to stay as far away from this as possible, do you understand me?''

Traci nodded and Andy followed her example.

''Good,'' Jerry said before walking away.

XX

All of the rookies finished their shifts, but everybody refused to leave. They all saw something was going on with Andy, but nobody dared to ask any questions. So the rookies decided to just stay at the barn, be there for each other and see if there was anything left they could do.

When Jerry passed them, obviously in a hurry, Traci slowed him down. ''Jerry, anything new?'' she asked.

''You guys were right, but you need to stay away from this, okay? This thing is about to get nasty and you rookies are easy to blame.'' Jerry looked over to the rest of the rookies and nodded at Andy. ''McNally, come with me.''

Andy and Traci both followed Jerry again. He led them to the interrogation room again and closed the door. ''We looked into the files Sam got before he went under. If you go undercover, your handler is responsible for giving you a good cover story.''

''Let me guess, Boyd failed on that one,'' Traci guessed.

''He gave Sam a boat, named _'God's good grace'. _That boat is police property right now, that has been all over the news last year.''

''He got made.'' Andy closed her eyes. ''Do you have any idea where Brannan took him?''

''Besides his warehouse and house, he doesn't own any property.'' Jerry walked towards the door again, obviously in a hurry. ''Right now it's like looking for a needle in a haystack, we've got no idea.''

When Jerry left Andy let out a sob. ''I'm going to kill him,'' she whispered.

Traci wrapped her arms around Andy and tried to reason with her. ''You heard Jerry,'' she said. ''We need to stay out of this, Boyd will get his punishment sooner or later.''

''Will that bring back Sam?'' Andy yelled out.

''No, but killing Boyd won't bring him back either. Now, we are going to look at every possible scenario and we will find him, okay?''

Andy knew her best friend was right, even if everything inside of her was screaming to go and find Boyd. ''What can we do?''

''We'll figure something out.''

XX

They found something, the rookies found something. Brennan may not have more properties on his name, but his wife does. Andy and Traci rush towards their T.O.'s with their new information, but for a moment the two of them seem very unimpressed. Oliver looks at Andy for a good minute and nods his head.

''Yeah, okay, let's go,'' he says before standing up. Noelle follows him and before Andy knows it they are on their way.

When they reach the house, Oliver refuses to let her come inside. She doesn't know why, maybe he doesn't trust her on this? Maybe he's trying to protect her from whatever is going on inside or maybe he's protecting his friend.

Anyway, Andy stays in the car while everybody else clears the house. She can follow the entire thing over her radio. It feels like it takes hours, but probably minutes later she hears Oliver say: ''Put a rush on the paramedics, we've got an officer injured and one in custody.''

Andy lets out another breath, injured could still be very, very bad, but at least he's alive. She gets out of the car and another ten minutes later Sam walks out of the door. He looks bad, beaten up and exhausted. But he's alive and he's walking, so Andy takes that as a positive thing.

Sam stops right in front of her and looks her straight in the eye. Andy has no idea what's going on inside his head, she can't read his expression at all. He holds her gaze for about five seconds before walking away.

XX

Andy is back at the barn, she received very clear instructions from Best; she's not allowed to talk to anybody about Boyd. Internal affairs will start an investigation, but Boyd will probably lose his badge over this case. Right now she needs to lay low and avoid Boyd if she would run into him.

Right now only Best, Jerry and Traci know about Boyd and Andy is more than happy to keep it that way. Best agreed with her that her story is too thin to press charges. He did tell her his door is always open, if she needs to talk to anybody about what happened.

Oliver took Sam to the hospital and Andy is waiting on news. She's shocked and relieved when she sees Sam walk into the barn, together with Oliver. She thought he would be kept in the hospital overnight. Andy sees Sam disappear in the locker room, but she doesn't have the heart to go home.

She keeps looking at the locker room, Sam stays away for a really long time. He's probably in a lot of pain, Andy reasons. His shower will probably last longer because it will hurt to move. Getting dressed would be an issue too.

Andy waited for a few more minutes, but decided she didn't know what she was waiting for. She and Sam were still broken up, they had nothing left to say. So Andy picked up her bag and left the station.

XX

Sam is trying to get on his shirt, but it hurts like hell. Brennan sure knows how to do some damage on a body. He's glad Brennan will probably go to jail for the rest of his life, he's happy he's home, but something is bothering him. He had trusted Boyd with his life on several occasions and now he got nearly killed because of it. Boyd covered up the murder of an innocent woman and child, to get to Brennan.

When the door of the locker room opened, Jerry walked in. ''Good to have you back in one piece,'' Jerry said.

''Wish it would have ended a little differently.'' Sam finally managed to put on his shirt and sat down on the bench. ''But I'm glad you found me.''

Jerry nodded and gave Sam a long look. ''Surprisingly enough, you've got to thank the rookies for that one.'' Sam raised his eyebrow, willing Jerry to explain that one. ''They came up with the idea to check for houses in the name of Brennan's wife.''

''Smart thinking,'' Sam complimented.

''McNally is the one that pointed us in Boyd's direction.'' Somewhere in his head, Jerry knows he isn't suppose to tell Sam this. It isn't his story to tell, he has no right of sharing it with Sam, but Jerry felt like Sam had a right to know.

''What happened?''

''You need to ask her that question.'' Jerry stood up and walked towards the door again. ''It's not my story to tell, but you have a right to know.''

''Jerry, what the hell?'' Sam was getting seriously pissed now. He had a rough day, he didn't want to play mind games.

''Talk to her, you need to talk to her.''

''Three months ago you wanted to hook me up with random strangers, just to get her out of my system and now you want me to go talk to her?''

''Yes,'' Jerry answered, not losing a beat. ''She's one of the main reasons we found you today. I still don't like her, but I at least have to admit that she acted wise today.''

Sam didn't say anything back. He winced when he wanted to tie his shoelaces, but completed the task anyway.

''You need to go home, sleep in your own bed and put this day behind you, I'll come by tomorrow.'' Jerry looked back one more time and left Sam alone.

Sam put his stuff in a bag and walked out of the barn. He had about a million people he needs to talk to, but because of his injuries all his statements got pushed back until later that week.

Oliver was kind enough to drive his truck to the barn, so Sam could go home alone. Back to his own bed and back to his old life.

XX

Authors note: I'd really like to know what you guys thought, I'm not too sure I like this chapter, but I couldn't think of another way to speed up the story.  
Let me know how you feel about it!


	9. Chapter 9

Here's another update, I don't know if I'll be able to keep up the frequent updates (I decided to go back to school..) I hope it won't take up too much of my time, so far it doesn't seem so hard, but if I don't update on a weekly basis, that's probably the hang up. I won't forget about this story though and I'll try to update again next week (Maybe shorter chapters or something, or maybe school will be super easy, we'll see)

Thanks again so much for the encouraging reviews.  
You might think it doesn't make a change whether you review or not, but you actually do!

XX

Sam drove home slowly. _Slowly _being the keyword here. His entire body ached, he couldn't grip the steering wheel right because his hand was in a cast and the snow didn't make the roads easier to drive. By the time he reached his house, Sam was convinced it would have been better to let Shaw drive him home. Oliver had actually offered it, but Sam was too stubborn, convinced he could manage alone.

When Sam finally parked his truck, all he could think about was his bed. Being tied up to a chair and getting tortured by a psycho was tiring apparently. He got out of the truck, locked it and walked towards his house. Sam stopped dead in his tracks when he saw McNally sit on his front porch. She had her knees pulled up and rested her head in her hands. She was about the last person Sam expected to see. Right now she was about the last person Sam _wanted _to see.

Apparently she felt him staring, because her head snapped up. She immediately stood up and walked towards him. Andy had a concerned expression on her face, she looked like she could burst into tears any second now.

''Hey.'' Andy slowly approached Sam and stopped right in front of him.

''What are you doing here McNally?'' Sam was really done right now, he wasn't in the mood for this.

Andy shrugged her shoulders and looked away for just a second. ''I wanted...'' She looked him in the eye again when she paused. ''I needed to see you were okay.''

''I'm fine,'' Sam said calmly.

''What did he do?'' Andy wanted to lift her hand and touch the graze on his face, she decided against it when she saw Sam's response to her hand close to his face.

''Doesn't matter, I'm okay now.'' Sam cleared his throat and met her eye for the first time. ''Jerry told me you rookies played a huge part in finding me, so thanks for that.''

Andy immediately wondered how much Jerry had told him. She nodded and bit her bottom lip. ''Yeah, I think it was Chris's idea to check out properties on his wife's name, so you should thank him.''

''I will,'' Sam promised.

They stood together like that for a few moments. Andy shivered and blinked away her tears. ''I'm really glad you're okay,'' she muttered, before she wanted to bail again.

Sam quickly used his good hand to grab her arm. He grabbed her hard enough to force her to stay, but not hard enough to hurt her. ''What's up with you and Boyd?'' he asked. Andy's eyes widened and Sam saw that. ''What happened between you two?'' he tried again.

''Doesn't matter,'' Andy quickly said. She moved her arm, so Sam let her go. ''I should leave.''

When she took one step towards the street again, Sam lost his temper. ''Goddamnit McNally,'' he yelled out.

Andy didn't turn around, but she did stop walking. She closed her eyes and part of her knew this conversation was inevitable. Sam's closest friends knew what happened, there was no way she could keep it from him now. ''Sam, please,'' she tried one last time.

''I'm done,'' Sam yelled. ''I don't know what the hell you want anymore McNally, what the hell are you doing here?''

Andy turned around, her eyes filled with tears. ''I told you, I needed to see that you were okay?''

''Why? Clearly you don't give a damn about me. You were pretty good at ignoring me before, so why act like you care now?''

Andy closed her eyes and faced the ground. She knew she deserved everything he said, but it still hurt to hear. He couldn't actually believe she didn't care about him, could he? ''Sam, that's not true.''

''Okay, you know what? I've had an incredibly long day. My head hurts like hell and all I want to do is sleep. So you either come inside right now and tell me what the hell is up. Or you can leave, but if you leave, leave me alone after that too.''

Andy was a little shocked when Sam stopped talking. She knew he was pissed, but she didn't expect him to actually give her an ultimatum like that. ''You should probably sleep, maybe I can come by tomorrow?'' He really looked like crap, he should get into bed and not leave it for the next ten days or so.

''No,'' Sam said, before she even finished. ''Now or never McNally, your decision.''

''Okay.'' Andy gave up. It was only a matter of time before Sam would find out, she was too tired and upset to fight it anymore. ''Okay,'' she repeated, more for herself than for Sam.

Sam gave her a small nod and turned around to open the front door. He left the door open, but didn't wait for her to come in. He walked towards the living room without looking back. Andy slowly followed and closed the door behind her. It was so weird to be back here, back to the house where she used to live with him. She used to be happy here, she used to feel loved here, right now she just felt worthless.

When Andy reached the living room, she noticed that Sam threw his coat over the couch. Andy started unbuttoning her coat and shrugged it off, she dropped it on the couch too and sat down. ''I don't really know what you want to hear,'' she said, her voice small and fragile.

''How about the truth for a change?'' Sam's tone was still harsh. His eyes were cold and he looked at her with the coldest look she ever saw from him.

''What do you know?'' Andy asked, maybe Jerry had filled in some of the blanks for Sam.

''I know you told Jerry something, something that told him Boyd was dirty. The only trouble I have figuring out, how does a rookie know information like that?''

''He can't be trusted,'' Andy whispered. ''I knew he couldn't be trusted, so I figured he might be involved when I heard you disappeared.''

''Again, how does a rookie know that a detective, a detective she never even worked with, is dirty?'' Sam had thought about everything Jerry told him and everything he already knew. A few options crossed his mind, but he refused to believe most of them.

''I didn't know,'' Andy admitted. ''I didn't know that he was a dirty cop, but I did know he can't be trusted.'' Andy looked up and saw that Sam was still looking at her, she couldn't look at him while telling this, so she got up. She walked towards the window and wrapped her arms around herself.

''I never wanted to leave you,'' she started. ''I was happy when we were together, but I couldn't stay with you.''

''Why?'' Sam asked from behind her, his voice sounded hoarse. He had an idea about where this was going, but he couldn't believe it until she told him.

''Boyd,'' Andy said. She quickly wiped away a tear that was rolling down her cheek. She had sworn to herself that she wouldn't cry over this anymore. She didn't need to turn around to know that Sam was walking towards her. ''He threatened you and the only option I saw was to leave. If I would have stayed.. he would have ruined your career Sam. All you ever wanted to be was a cop.'' Andy dropped her hands to her sides and turned around.

Andy tried to walk past Sam again, but he grabbed both of her wrist in his hands. He ignored the pain that he felt, that wasn't important right now. ''What happened?'' His tone was a lot more gentle than it had been before. When he noticed her discomfort, Sam let go of her wrists.

''That night of the fundraiser,'' Andy started. She moved past Sam and moved over to the table. It was stupid, but she could only tell this if she wasn't facing him. She didn't want to see the expression on his face, it would only tear her apart more. ''You had to work.''

''I remember,'' he gently said, encouraging her to continue.

''I ran into Boyd in the parking lot.'' Andy stopped for a moment, thankful that Sam didn't interrupt her. He always seemed to know what she needed and right now she just needed to tell this story. She wasn't sure she would be able to tell it if he asked questions. ''He was wasted, like really, really bad.'' Andy swallowed. ''He said he was going to drive home, but he really was way too drunk to even stand up straight.''

Sam listened to her, he tried to keep his breathing even and under control. When she stopped talking, he knew she needed encouragement. ''Okay, what happened after that?''

Andy waited a few seconds before starting again. ''I took his credit card, went to the reception and got him a hotel room.'' She was reaching the hardest part of the story right now and she had trouble fighting back tears. ''I know it was stupid, I know I was incredibly dumb, but I took him to his room. I thought he was too drunk to make it on his own and the staff was so busy with the party.'' Andy shook her head, even more than a year later, she couldn't believe how stupid she was. ''Apparently he wasn't as drunk as he led on, because when I tried to help him with his tie, he pushed me on the bed.''

Sam had to swallow hard a few times to get rid of the lump in his throat. He couldn't believe he had let this happen, he couldn't believe he didn't see it before. How she flinched every time he touched her, the way she avoided him at all costs. He thought it were signs she was sick of him, but it all happened out of nowhere. He is a cop, he should have seen the signs.

Andy turned around and looked at him for the first time since she started telling the story. ''He didn't..'' Andy had to force herself to say the words. ''He didn't rape me, but he came close.'' After that she bowed her head and let out a sob.

No matter what happened between them, no matter how much hurt and pain there was, Sam couldn't do anything but pull her into his arms. She finally relaxed a little when he wrapped his arms around her. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and tried to calm her.

''I'm sorry,'' she sobbed. ''He threatened to end your career if you would ever find out and I didn't..'' Andy shook her head and moved out of Sam's embrace. ''I couldn't not tell you and all you wanted to be was a cop.''

Sam knew he probably should say something, but he was lost for words. It wasn't until she started blaming herself that he had something to say.

''I was stupid, it was my own fault.''

''Hey,'' Sam said, cop instincts kicking in. ''What do we tell every victim of sexual assault?'' '

Andy shivered at his words. She never looked at herself as a victim of sexual assault, but she was. ''I should have known better Sam, he was wasted and..''

''No means no,'' Sam interrupted her. ''It doesn't matter what the situation is like. If you don't want someone to touch you, they've got no right, no matter what.''

''I know,'' Andy whispered. ''I know, but still..''

''No but,'' Sam said. ''He was wrong, it wasn't your fault.''

In a way Andy felt lighter after his words, she needed to hear those words. Traci had told her, but mostly she needed Sam to tell her those words. ''I know,'' she simply replied. ''I'm sorry,'' she said again. ''I didn't know how to tell you..''

''So you left.'' Sam felt like he had aged decades over the last 24 hours. He couldn't think straight anymore and he really didn't know how to feel about all of this. ''You should have told me.''

''I couldn't,'' Andy answered. ''You would have killed him, Sam.''

''I wouldn't have done anything he didn't deserve.''

''You would have lost your job, either way, you would have lost your job. How would that have worked out? You would have ended up hating me, all you ever wanted to be was a cop.''

''All I wanted was you,'' Sam yelled. ''You took the decision for me, you didn't confide in me, you didn't trust me enough to tell me.''

''I trust you with my life,'' Andy argued. ''Can you honestly say you would have been able to stand on the side lines and not go after him?''

Sam didn't say anything. He didn't know what he would have done, but chances are he would have done something stupid. ''You should have told me,'' he said again.

''I know.'' They stood together, two feet from each other, both silent.

''Who knows?'' Sam asked.

''I told Traci a while ago. Today I told Jerry and he told Best.'' Andy looked Sam in the eye. ''I wasn't suppose to tell anybody else, Best agreed with me that my case is too thin to press charges. With everything that is going on with Boyd now, it's best to lay low. You can't do anything either Sam.''

''I know,'' Sam said, not entirely convincing.

''I mean it,'' Andy said. ''No good will come out of it.''

Sam just looked away and closed his eyes. ''Son of a bitch,'' he muttered.

''He will lose his badge. He will pay, internal affairs is dealing with this now.''

''Does that make it right?'' Sam asked, his eyebrows raised.

''No, but at least it's something.'' Andy shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. ''He will pay and we'll all need to deal with what happened.''

Sam snorted and gritted his teeth. ''Yeah, because you dealt with it great so far.''

''Sam,'' Andy warned him. ''I did what I thought was right at the time. I made a decision, I don't know if what I did was the right thing, but I did it.'' Sam didn't say anything, but looked at her with his piercing eyes.

''How have you been?'' he said out of the blue. He realised he had been going off at her for not trusting him, but she had been dealing with everything alone.

''What?''Andy asked.

''How did you deal with everything?'' Sam explained himself.

''I just.. I don't know,'' Andy stuttered. She wasn't really prepared for a question like that. ''I'm fine,'' she quickly added.

''McNally,'' Sam warned.

''Look, it sucked, okay? I felt worthless, stupid and I hated myself. But once I was in the academy, things got better. My dad sobered up when he realised I wasn't doing so well, so something good came out of it.'' Andy gave Sam a weak smile and blinked away a new set of tears. She hated crying, she never used to cry, but this entire day had been exhausting.

Sam let out a deep breath and took a step forward. He hesitated for a moment, but he took her into his arms once again. They both had their eyes closed and their breathing synchronised. After a few minutes Sam took a step back, he cupped Andy's cheek and whipped away her tears with his thumb. ''I'm sorry I didn't protect you,'' he told her.

''It wasn't your fault,'' Andy immediately answered. ''I should have known better.''

''Stop blaming yourself.''

''Can we both just agree it's not our fault?'' Andy took a step back too, she hated the loss of contact, but her emotions were catching up on her.

''As long as you keep that in mind.''

''You should get some sleep, what did the doctor say?'' Andy tried to change the subject. He knew now, there was nothing they could change, no matter how much or how little they would talk about everything.

''Everything will heal,'' he promised her. ''Just need to rest.''

''Okay, I'll leave you alone then.'' Andy didn't really know how to leave. It felt weird to just leave, but kissing him would be weird too.

Sam solved her inner debate by taking a step forward and wrapping one arm around her waist. He kissed the top of her head before letting go. ''You shouldn't walk home,'' he said. ''It's late.''

''I'm here with Traci's car.''

''Okay.'' They looked at each other for a few more seconds before Andy took her coat and started walking towards the door.

''Sleep, okay? I know I'm probably not your favorite person, but if you need anything, I'm here.''

''I know,'' Sam said. ''I just need some time.'' Andy looked at him one more time before leaving him alone.

When she left, Sam sat down on the couch. He needed some time alone, time to process everything that happened.

XX

_It was three a.m. when his phone rang. Sam groaned and checked the caller id. When he saw her name his heart skipped a beat, she wouldn't call at this hour, unless there was something very, very wrong. _

''_Yeah?"' he quickly answered. _

''_Sorry I woke you,'' Andy apologized. ''I didn't know who else to call.'' _

''_What's wrong?'' Sam asked. _

''_My dad,'' she said. ''I know it's really late, but can I come to your place?'' _

_Sam didn't even think before he threw the covers off of him and started looking for his clothes. ''I'll be there as soon as I can.'' _

''_I'll take a cab.'' Andy didn't want to bother him more than she probably already was. ''I'm fine.'' _

''_Andy, I'm already on my way, okay?'' Sam silenced her. She wasn't fine, she wouldn't be asking him if she could come over if she was fine. He hated that she even asked, she was welcome at all times, she should know that by now. _

''_Okay.'' Andy didn't even bother fighting him on it. ''Can you stay in your truck when you get here? I'll meet you outside.'' _

_As much as Sam wanted to give Tommy a piece of his mind for what he was putting his daughter through, Sam knew Andy didn't need the two men in her life fighting. ''Yeah, sure.'' _

''_Thank you, I'll see you soon.'' Andy said before ending the call._

_Sam drove to the McNally household as fast as he could. He texted Andy when he arrived, it only took her a minute to reach the truck. _

''_Hey,'' she said when she opened the passenger door. ''I'm really sorry I woke you up.'' _

''_Don't be, it's fine,'' Sam told her. ''What happened?'' _

_Andy sighed and shook her head. ''What always happens. I picked him up from a bar. He is so totally wasted, I told him I couldn't deal with it anymore.'' _

''_And he started with the emotional manipulation.'' Sam could fill in the blanks without even trying. _

''_Pretty much.'' Andy didn't show much sign of emotion, but Sam knew her dad's drinking was killing her. He didn't have any words to comfort her, so he just put his hand on her knee and squeezed it. _

_When they reached his house again, she was out of the truck in no time. She had a key, so she let herself in. Sam sighed and quickly followed her. The house was still dark when he walked in, so he assumed she went to bed. Sam quickly locked up again and followed her upstairs. _

_When he entered his bedroom, she was already lying in his bed. Her clothes were on the floor and she looked at him with a grin. ''Joining me?'' _

''_Well, it is my bed,'' Sam said smiling. He quickly stripped to his boxers and lifted the covers so he could join her. When he was on his back Andy straddled him and kissed him. Sam happily responded, but she wasn't kissing him like she normally would. It was too desperate, too needy. Andy went to bed completely naked, normally she would at least keep on panties, so Sam knew what she wanted. Normally he would be more than happy to give in, but right now he just wanted her to talk to him. _

''_What happened?" he asked as he cupped her cheek. _

''_I told you,'' Andy replied. She started placing kisses on his chest, but Sam gently pulled her head up again. ''Come on Sam, don't you want to?'' _

''_You know that's not the issue. Just tell me what happened.'' Sam played with her hair. _

''_It's no big deal,'' Andy tried. When Sam gave her his most unimpressed look, she told him what was up. ''I told him, he could either pick the bottle or me.'' Her voice broke down a little and she let herself fall down on Sam. _

_Sam didn't have to ask what Tommy's choice had been. He just put his hand on her back and pressed a kiss to her temple. ''I'm sorry.'' _

''_Don't be,'' Andy angrily responded. ''He wants to drink so bad, he can; I'm done.'' _

_Sam knew it wasn't that simple. Andy loved her father, despite all his flaws. ''I love you.'' Sam didn't say that much, but right now she probably needed to hear it more than ever. ''Just know that I'm here for you.'' _

''_I know. I'm so lucky to have you.'' Andy slowly lowered her lips to his again. The kiss was sweet and promising. After a while Sam moved his mouth to her neck, Andy softly moaned and gave him more access. One of Sam's hands was massaging her breast, while the other was on her back. Sam took his time with her, but after a while Andy started looking for friction. _

_Andy took control now, she kissed him on the mouth first, but moved her lips towards his chest and abdomen after that. The pace stayed slow the entire time. Andy took her time showing him how much he meant to her, Sam took his time showing her she wasn't alone. _

_When they laid together afterwards, limbs entangled and facing each other, Sam cupped her cheek. ''Just come and live here,'' he suggested. _

''_What?'' Andy slowly lifted her head. _

''_You are here most nights anyway. You don't need to put up with your dad. I know you love him, but you can't keep dragging him out of bars in the middle of the night.'' Sam had figured out pretty fast that she was picking up her dad from local bars on nights she wasn't with him. _

''_I just need to find my own place, I don't need a pity move-in invitation.'' _

_Sam cursed that it felt like that to her. Truth was that Sam wanted her to live with him, even without all the issues with her dad. He loved going to bed with her and waking up with her. At first it felt a little suffocating, but she broke down all his walls pretty fast. _

''_It's not out of pity, it's because I want you here.'' _

''_Yeah, until you get sick of my stuff lying everywhere.'' Andy let out a soft laugh. _

''_Who are you kidding?'' Sam asked. ''Your stuff is already lying everywhere.'' _

''_It's not,'' Andy protested. _

''_All that make-up in the bathroom must be mine then? And all those gossip magazines in the living room? And let me tell you, my clothes only take up a fourth of my dresser and closet. Right now those two are exploding.'' _

''_You own like 2 pair of jeans and 5 shirts.'' _

''_My point exactly. What I'm saying is.. I like having you here, okay? And I know the timing seems like I'm asking you out of pity, but I'm really not.'' _

''_Promise?'' Andy asked. _

''_Promise.'' _

_Andy knew Sam meant it, but she needed the reassurance anyway. In a way being with Sam was easier than she ever thought was possible. He didn't give secret hints about stuff and he never said anything he didn't mean. He was honest. _

''_Okay, I'd love to live here.'' Andy gave Sam her bravest smile. Behind that smile was still sadness, but at least she was smiling. Sam kissed her and pulled her down to him again. ''I do have to tell my dad, doubt he cares though.'' _

''_He loves you.'' Sam didn't doubt Tommy loved Andy, he just didn't have the greatest way of showing it. _

''_I know. I just wish it was enough.'' Andy nuzzled Sam's neck. _

_They went to Tommy's house the next afternoon. Sam had the day off and he insisted he went with her. When Andy told her father she was going to move in with Sam, he didn't look surprised. Tommy looked like the alcohol was still in his system, so they didn't stay very long. Andy packed a few essentials and Sam picked up a few other things a week later. When he wanted to leave, Tommy stopped him. _

''_Sammy,'' Tommy started. ''I know I haven't been the best father, but that's my little girl you're responsible for now.'' _

''_I know sir,'' Sam replied. Despite Tommy's problems, Sam had a lot of respect for Andy's father. He once was a great cop and he raised an incredible daughter. _

''_You take care of her, she deserves it.'' _

''_I know, I will keep her safe.'' _

_XX_

Sam had a lot of trouble falling asleep. His entire body ached, he felt exhausted, but still he couldn't sleep. Sam's head was in overdrive and he didn't know how to push all the thoughts away. He couldn't believe it had only been 24 hours since he was lying in bed in his cover apartment.

So much had happened since then, so much had changed. He didn't know what to do about Boyd, part of him wanted to kill the guy for what he did to Andy. Andy was right though, it would only get him fired and it would make the case against Boyd weaker.

Sam hated himself for not seeing the signs. Well he saw the signs, he just didn't link them together. His girlfriend was sexually assaulted and he didn't even notice it. He was the worst cop and boyfriend in the world. He wanted to hate Andy for shutting him out, but he honestly couldn't say he wouldn't have killed Boyd if she would have told him all those months ago.

Even now, more than a year later, he still wanted to rip Boyd's head off. He hated the fact that Andy couldn't even press charges, even if Boyd lost his badge, he wouldn't get punished for what he did to her.

After an hour of laying awake, Sam finally decided to take some of the painkillers the doctor gave him. When he took those, it only took him twenty more minutes to fall asleep. A restless sleep, filled with nightmares.

XX

The next morning Sam decided it was time to call Sarah. He pressed the speed dial and waited until she picked up.

''_Sam?'' _he heard.

''Hey Sarah, just wanted to let you know I'm back.''

''_Already? Are you okay, did everything go according to plan?'' _Sam heard the concern in his sisters voice and hated that she probably had been worried about him all this time.

''I'm alright, things didn't really go according to plan, but we caught the guy.'' Sam wanted to save Sarah from the details, she would never let him go undercover again.

''_You've only been gone for two months, I thought it would be months before I heard from you.'' _

''I can hang up, if you'd prefer that?'' Sam joked.

''_Shut up,'' _Sarah quickly said. _''I'm so glad to hear from you.'' _

''I know. I'm glad to be back too.'' Sam knew he wasn't going undercover again for a very long time. Not only would he be hesitant to put his life in someone else's hands after the Boyd debacle, he didn't get a thrill out of this latest undercover. Not like he normally would.

''_Will you come by?'' _Normally Sam would visit Sarah after an undercover operation. Only this time he wasn't in the shape to drive.

''I'll come by later, can't right now.'' Sam tried to spare Sarah from the details.

''_Why not?'' _When Sam didn't answer right away, his sister came to a conclusion herself. _''You're hurt, aren't you?'' _

''Like I said, things didn't go according to plan. I'm fine though, just need to wrap up everything here.''

''_What didn't go according to plan?''_

Sam sighed and ran his hand across his face. ''I got made, but they found me before things could go really wrong.''

''_God, Sam.'' _

''I'm staying for a while now. Not really interested in deep undercover for a while.'' Sam hoped that would at least be satisfying for Sarah.

''_Good, I really missed you.'' _

''How have you been, how's Will?'' Sarah always worried about Sam, but Sam did his share of worrying too. His sister was the only person in his life that had always been there, he would walk through fire for her.

''_We're good. All three of us are.'' _Sam could practically hear Sarah smile through the phone.

''Three?'' he asked. ''Are you..?''

''_Little over 12 weeks now. I found out like the day after you went undercover.'' _Sarah sounded happy, insanely happy.

''That's great Sarah, congratulations.'' Sam was sincerely happy for his sister. She deserved every good thing life had to offer.

''_You too, uncle Sam.''_

Sam grinned after that. He was _uncle Sammy_ to Oliver's kids, but this was different. He would be a real uncle to this child. ''Is Will happy too?''

''_Yeah, he's really happy. We both are.'' _

''You are going to be an amazing mom Sarah, kid is lucky to have you as a mom.''

''_I really hope so,'' _Sarah answered. _''Promise me you'll visit as soon as you can.''_

''I will,'' Sam promised.

''_We've got a nursery to build,'' _Sarah teased. _''And who better to make the nursery than uncle Sam?''_

''Yeah, yeah,'' Sam smiled.

''_Seriously, rest first, because you are probably more hurt than you're telling me. You're not in the hospital, are you?'' _

''No, I'm at home Sarah.''

''_Okay, really glad you're okay.'' _

''Me too, and congratulations again. You're going to be everything a child could wish for.''

''_Thanks Sam, you are going to be the best uncle.'' _

''I'm at least gonna try.''

''_Bye.''_

''Bye.''

XX

So, Sam knows.

What do you guys think will happen next?

Please review, I love them!


	10. Chapter 10

_**Another chapter!**_

_**Thank you for the continuing support, it's incredibly encouraging. **_

XX

Andy collapsed on the couch. She felt drained, this probably was the longest day of her life. At first she had Sam to worry about, she feared for his life. When they finally found out he was okay, she knew she had to come clean to him. In a way it felt like there was a weight lifted off her shoulders. Another part of her feared what would happen next.

Sam had been great. He was hurt, of course, but like always he looked out for her well being first. Andy couldn't even find words to describe how it felt to be in his arms again, that was the place where she felt safer than anywhere else.

Right now she was afraid, she was afraid that people at work would look at her different. Only Sam, Traci, Jerry and Frank knew, but still. Frank wouldn't tell anybody, she confided in him as her boss. Traci wouldn't tell anybody either, she already proved that. She didn't think Sam would tell anybody, Jerry already knew and Sam never discussed personal business with anybody. She wasn't so sure about Jerry though, the guy really didn't like her. He was dating Traci, so that probably meant she would make sure he kept his mouth shut.

Andy startled when her phone started ringing. It was her landline. That was weird, no one ever called her on that number. She got up and walked towards the phone.

''Hello?'' she asked.

''_Andy? Thank god, where have you been?'' _Traci's voice was filled with concern. _''I left you a couple of voicemails and text messages. You didn't answer your phone and when I went by your place, you weren't there.'' _

''What's going on?'' Andy asked. She didn't answer her phone more often, mostly because she would forget to charge it. ''Did anything happen?''

''_I was worried about you. You had an emotional day and I wanted to make sure you were alright.'' _

Andy sighed, she could have known Traci would check up on her. Traci didn't project her maternal instinct on just Leo, she used them for their entire group of friends. Whenever something was wrong, she was the one that would notice it. ''I'm okay Trace. I turned off the sound of my cell and I visited Sam, so that's why I wasn't at home.''

''_You went to see Swarek?'' _Both girls were silent for a few moments. _''What happened?''_

''I told him the truth.''

''_Wow,'' _ Traci breathed out. _''How did he react, how did he take it?'' _

Andy thought back to Sam's reaction. He had been everything she could ask for. ''He took it pretty well. He was pissed, of course, but he was really sweet to me.''

''_That's really good sweetie. Are you okay? Do you want me to come over? My mom could watch Leo, I told her you weren't feeling so well, so she already offered.'' _

''No, you stay with Leo, but thanks for the offer. Really thanks Trace, for everything.'' Andy knew she had the best friends a girl could wish for. Chris was like her big brother, Dov a younger brother and she even valued Gail as a good friend. Still, Traci was her best friend, the one that never asked any question, but was just there for her.

''_You did the right thing today. I know it wasn't easy for you.'' _

''Sometimes I wish I could go back in time,'' Andy said, more to herself than to Traci. ''I was so stupid for leaving him, I thought I was protecting him, I never realised how much I hurt him by just letting go.''

''_Maybe you can work it out?'' _Traci suggested. _''If there is one thing that is clear to me, than it's that you still love him and he still cares about you.'' _

Andy wished it was that simple, but it probably wasn't. ''I broke us by leaving Trace. Even if the feelings are still there, the trust is gone.''

''_Swarek seems like a good guy, who knows, maybe you'll be able to restore what you guys had.''_

''Yeah, maybe.'' Andy didn't sound to convincing, not even to her own ears. ''You should go to bed, you're probably just as exhausted as I am.''

''_You really are okay?'' _Traci checked again.

''Yeah, promise. Thank you for checking up Traci.''

''_What are friends for?'' _

XX

Two days after the whole Brennan incident, Sam had to go to headquarters. He had gotten one day off to sleep and heal, but the white shirts insisted he came in the day after that. Sam didn't exactly use his free day to sleep and heal, he mostly just paced and worried. He went by Andy's place the day before, he wasn't even sure why. She wasn't there and when he called her, it went directly to voicemail.

After that he went back to his place and found Jerry there. They hung out together for the rest of the day, but didn't really talk about what happened. Jerry tried to bring up the subject _'McNally', _but Sam brushed it off. When Jerry asked Sam if he wanted her back, Sam told him to shut up and mind his own business. After that both of them focused on the hockey game they were watching.

At least, Sam pretended to be focused on that. His mind kept wondering back to Andy. He wanted to know if she was alright, but wished he didn't want to know it. He didn't know if he wanted her back, if it would even make sense to get back together with her.

No matter how hurt or afraid she was, she should have told him what was going on. She didn't trust him enough to let him in, she packed up her stuff and left.

Sam agreed to meet Frank at headquarters. As staff sergeant, Frank needed to be there. Frank was already waiting when Sam arrived.

''Boss,'' Sam greeted his friend.

''Sam, how are you feeling?'' Frank asked.

''Fine, nothing that won't heal. Let's get this over with.'' Sam motioned to the door and walked to it. The girl behind the desk told them where they had to go, they took place in a waiting area and waited until someone came for them.

They were waiting for about ten minutes, when all of the sudden Boyd appeared. Apparently he had a meeting with the white shirts before Sam. When Sam saw Boyd, it took everything he had not to stand up and strangle the guy. Sam looked in the other direction and Frank placed a hand on his shoulder. Frank knew Sam well enough to know he wanted to go after Boyd, but he couldn't.

''Sammy, Frank,'' Boyd greeted the two men. He stopped in front of Sam and looked down. ''How you feeling Sam, you feeling okay?''

''Not thanks to you,'' Sam said and clenched his jaw.

''Come on Sammy, it was a mistake.'' Boyd actually had the nerve to smile at Sam.

Sam stood up and made himself a little taller. ''A mistake?'' he asked. ''What was a mistake? Was it a mistake you covered up the murder of a woman and child? Was it a mistake that you gave me a messed up cover story? Or was it a mistake that you tried to rape my girlfriend?'' Sam was standing dangerously close to Boyd now. Frank stood up to and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder.

''Sam, relax, this isn't going to help,'' Frank tried.

Sam shook away Franks hand and turned back to Boyd. ''Which one is it? Because I can promise you that you will pay for all of the above.''

''I don't know what that stupid rookie told you,'' Boyd started, but he was cut off when Sam pushed him against the wall and put his arm against his throat. Boyd tried to struggle, but even with his injuries, Sam clearly had the upper hand.

''Her name is officer McNally and six months on the job she's already ten times the cop you'll ever be.'' Sam felt Franks hand breaking the two men apart. ''You are done,'' Sam added before walking away.

Frank followed Sam and sat down next to him when he found him. ''So, she told you?''

''Yeah, she came by last night.'' Both men were silent for a while. ''Can you give me a good reason not to go back there and kill him?''

''You did the right thing by walking away,'' Frank told Sam. ''I don't even get how they could bring you guys in at the same time, you shouldn't have run into each other.''

''Doesn't matter,'' Sam stated. ''He deserved it.''

''He did,'' Frank agreed. ''But you know just as well as I do, that this case can be compromised if anything else happens between the two of you. I'll back you up on this one, but from now on, keep your distance.''

''I'll try,'' Sam said.

''Sam,'' Frank warned.

''Look Frank, he tried to rape Andy. He's never going to pay for that, because it's her word against his.'' Sam got worked up again. ''I'll stay away from him, but only because nobody benefits from me hurting him.''

''I know it's difficult,'' Frank agreed. ''But it would affect McNally too if you did something stupid. People are already talking, I don't know where the stories come from, but she doesn't need that and neither do you. And no matter what you say right now, you still care about her.''

Sam didn't say anything and stood up after a few moments. ''I'll stay away from him.''

XX

Sam walked into the barn five days later. He was cleared for active duty, desk duty that is. Because of his wrist there was no way he would be able to grip his gun. At least he was back, he reasoned. Desk duty was awful, but spending every day at home wasn't much better. He went by Andy's place two more times this week, but there was no sign of her there. He didn't know what to think of that, if he should think something of that.

Sam took his time getting suit up, he could do desk duty in his sleep, so he didn't care much about parade. Oliver was in the locker room too, already ready for his day.

''You okay brother?'' Oliver asked.

''Fine, sucks that I can't grip my gun.'' Sam tied his shoelaces and grimaced when he felt pain shoot through his hand.

''How long is that going to last?''

''Three to four weeks according to the doctor, so I'll be back in two.'' Sam had no intention keeping up with the doctor's schedule. If he could help it, he would be back as soon as possible.

''Just take it easy, no need to hurt yourself even more.'' Oliver swallowed and approached the subject he was dreading, yet curious about. ''You heard back from internal affairs?''

''No, doubt they'll let me know much anyway. Gave my statement and now it's their case to handle.''

Sam finished getting ready and stood up. ''Let's head to parade.''

''Yeah,'' Oliver said. ''That's good.''

When they reached the parade room, Sam immediately saw Andy sitting in the front row. She was sitting between Nash and Epstein. All the rookies seemed to be discussing something, but McNally wasn't a participant in that discussion.

Frank handed out instructions and dismissed everybody. Sam had enough of Andy's behaviour, so he walked towards Andy. ''McNally, interrogation room 1, now.'' His voice didn't leave any room for discussion, yet Andy tried to argue.

''Sir,'' she started. Sam hated it when she called him that. He knew this was her way of being professional, but he thought it was a load of crap. ''I'm suppose to meet officer Shaw.''

''I'll deal with him,'' Sam informed her. He walked towards the interrogation room and didn't wait for her. Andy had an internal debate for about ten seconds, but then decided to just follow him.

She walked towards the interrogation room and entered. She closed the door behind her and met Sam's eyes as soon as she was inside. They kept looking at each other, but neither of them said anything.

''Sir,'' Andy tried again.

''Cut it with the sir,'' Sam said. ''That's not you.'''

''We're at work.'' Andy looked a little desperate. ''How else am I suppose to call you?''

Sam sighed and ran his hand across his face. ''Just call me Swarek or Sam, I don't care.'' He was silent again. He wanted to see her, he wanted to talk to her, yet he didn't know what to say. This was so foreign to him, she used to be the only person he shared things with. Things that mattered anyway. Even when they were in a good place, it took him quite some effort to talk to her.

''How have you been?'' Andy broke the silence. When Sam didn't answer right away she continued. ''I wanted to see you or call you, but I didn't know if you wanted some space.. So I decided to just leave you alone, but it wasn't because I don't care. I don't want you to think that I don't care.''

''I went by your place,'' Sam admitted. ''More than once actually, but you weren't there.'' He looked her in the eye again and gave a weak smile. ''Also tried to call you, but that went straight to voicemail.''

''I forgot to charge my phone.'' Andy returned the smile, but it didn't reach her eyes, not even a little bit. ''And I haven't been home much, spent a night at Traci's and at my dad's.''

''Is he okay?'' Sam asked. He knew Andy would always be worried about Tommy, with good reason. He hoped Tommy would turn his life around once and for all now.

''Yeah, he's doing really good. He goes to meetings and he's even met a woman there, I think he's happy.'' Andy smiled again, this time it was a little more sincere. ''Look, Sam.. We don't have to.. You owe me nothing, okay?''

''What do you mean?''

''I get it. I would probably be pissed at you too if the roles were reversed.'' Andy shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. She looked at the ground before meeting his eyes again. ''I know I screwed up. If there was any way to take back what happened, I would, believe me.''

''What's done is done,'' Sam said. ''You can't change the past.''

''I know,'' Andy replied.

Sam's head was in conflict. He wanted her, there was no denying that. ''You didn't trust me.''

''I did,'' Andy argued.

''You didn't talk to me. Instead of talking to me, you avoided me and left.'' When Andy tried to speak up, Sam raised his hand, he needed to get this out now. ''I should have seen the signs, I knew something was bothering you and I didn't talk to you either, so we're both to blame here.'' Sam took a deep breath and knew what he needed to do. ''I'm glad you told me now, maybe one day we'll be able to be friends again.''

Andy felt like someone hit her in the stomach. She didn't expect him to jump into her arms, but she also didn't expect him to pull the -_one day we'll be able to be friends- _card. ''Please don't,'' she practically begged. She could handle working with him, but being friends with him, that was a different story.

''It's for the best,'' Sam said. ''Be safe out there, okay?''

''Yeah, you too,'' Andy replied before leaving the interrogation room. She was not going to cry over this again, not now, not again. She took a few deep breaths before she walked away from him again.

Sam stayed in the interrogation room for at least ten more minutes. He didn't want to hurt her and he knew he was hurting her now. Still, they couldn't just jump back to where they came from. It didn't work that way and even if he still cared about her, that didn't mean they would be good together.

He had to keep his distance, that would be best for both of them.

XX

Oliver knew his rookie was in a mood before she even reached the cruiser. He lived in a house with four females, he could tell when females were upset. His rookie was definitely upset. Oliver tried to ignore it, but when they reached the barn again later that day, the silence became too much for him.

''He'll turn around Andy,'' he said with a gentle tone.

Andy's head immediately snapped up. ''What are you talking about?''

''Sam, I know how he can be.'' Oliver cleared his throat, hoping he wasn't overstepping any boundaries here. ''I don't exactly know what happened, but I've heard a few things.''

''What did you hear?'' Andy asked. If there was anybody she was comfortable having this conversation with, it was Oliver. Oliver had never judged her, never treated her any different than he would have done with another rookie. Oliver was a good guy, reliable, probably the best training officer she could wish for.

''It doesn't matter. You know how it works, sometimes the division is like high school. People will always talk, but as long as you remember that Sam is a good guy.''

''I know that.'' Andy fell back in the passenger seat and closed her eyes. ''Some things are unfixable, no matter what you do about it.''

''Maybe, but it won't always hurt this much. Just keep that in mind.''

''Thanks,'' Andy muttered. ''It will be okay.''

''Yeah, it will,'' Oliver agreed.

When they reached the barn, Oliver and Andy went in separate ways. They were pretty late, so when Oliver reached the locker room, he was the only one in there. Five minutes later Sam walked in, he had spent some time talking to Jerry.

''How was your first day back?'' Oliver asked.

''It was desk duty, but I guess it beats sitting at home,'' Sam answered.

''You gonna let McNally off the hook?'' Oliver asked out of the blue.

Sam gave his friend a pointed look and raised his eyebrows. ''Excuse me?'' If anybody else would have made that comment, Sam would have been pissed. Yet, Oliver is the kind of friend who can say stuff like this and get away with it.

''McNally,'' Oliver repeated. ''I don't know exactly what happened, but if the rumors were true, maybe you should give her another chance.''

''Ollie,'' Sam warned.

''Listen Sam, when you were with her, you were happier than I ever saw you.''

''Yeah and then she left. So what? I let her back in and the moment things go wrong, she leaves again?'' Sam didn't want that, he knew he wouldn't be able to go through another breakup with her. If she would leave again, he would lose himself even more.

''And what if it does work out this time?'' Oliver challenged. ''Don't waste a good thing by keeping score. Sometimes, the best thing is the thing you had.'' Sam bowed his head and ignored Oliver's statement. Oliver picked up his towel and headed towards the shower. ''Think about it buddy.''

XX

''_What?'' Andy asked as they walked into the house. ''Are you seriously upset about this?''_

''_No,'' Sam lied. He put the groceries on the counter and put some stuff in the refrigerator. ''I'm not upset.'' _

''_Okay.'' Andy rolled her eyes and started helping with another bag. ''Whatever you say.'' _

_When everything was tidied up, Sam moved into the living room and turned on the TV. Andy sighed and grabbed her laptop, she had some work to do. An hour later, Sam was still sitting in the living room. A part of Andy was annoyed, another part was slightly amused. Sam was always in control, he had his emotions in check and never showed any vulnerability. In a way it was flattering that she had this affect on him. _

_Andy stood up and moved over to the couch, she sat down next to Sam and put her head on his shoulder. She gently squeezed his knee and kissed his cheek. ''We only dated for like four months,'' she said._

''_Okay.'' Sam didn't turn his gaze from the TV. _

_Andy let out a chuckle and sat up straight again. ''If it makes you feel any better, I almost forgot about him in the first place.'' _

''_He clearly didn't forget about you.'' Sam finally looked at her and Andy quirked her eyebrow. _

''_Yeah, well.. I'm kind of unforgettable,'' Andy joked. ''Come on, why are you ignoring me? It's not like I can help it..'' _

''_You could have turned him down,'' Sam argued. ''You didn't have to take the guys number.'' _

''_I tried to.'' Andy really did, but Alex wouldn't take no for an answer and she figured she would just take his number to get rid of him. _

_Andy and Sam had gone grocery shopping together. Normally one of them would go, but since they both had the day off they decided to go together. Andy had run into an ex when Sam was picking up something he forgot in the previous aisle. She and Alex had dated for four months and had broken up when he cheated on her. Andy wasn't too broken up when she found out, she didn't really see the relationship going anywhere anyway. She was only 19 at the time, not really the time to think about the long haul. _

''_Okay.'' Sam stood up and walked into the kitchen. ''I'll make dinner.'' _

''_I thought I was cooking?'' Andy asked. When Sam didn't answer she let herself fall back into the cushions and couldn't help but roll her eyes again. Sam was adorable when he was like this, but still, she didn't really see what she did wrong. She was polite to the guy, but she had no intention of ever using Alex phone number. _

_When Sam was gone for ten minutes, Andy decided she might as well join him. She walked into the kitchen and pressed her face between Sam's shoulder blades. She gave him a kiss there and gently bit his shoulder. ''I love you.'' _

''_I know.'' Sam sighed and turned around. He didn't know why he was acting this way, it was probably stupid. _

''_What's going on?'' Andy asked. ''You know I don't want his phone number. Not to __reminisce about the old days and especially not to ever get back together.'' Sam didn't answer, but just nudges his nose with hers. He pressed their lips together in a small kiss. Andy broke away from him and put her hand on his cheek. ''You know that right?'' _

''_Yeah,'' Sam answered. ''I know.''_

''_Seriously Sam, where is this coming from? You're not usually this insecure.'' _

''_I'm not insecure, I just don't like other guys looking at you like that.'' _

''_Let them look.'' Andy shrugged her shoulders and laughed. ''You know you're the one I'll come home to at night. You're the one that is allowed to touch me, you're the one I see a future with. Who cares about the rest?'' _

''_You're too smart for your own good, you know that?'' Sam gave Andy a peck on the lips and took a step back. ''You relax, I don't mind cooking.'' _

''_Sure?'' Andy asked. Truth was Sam was the domestic one of the two. She had gotten better at cooking, but her skills weren't nearly as good as his. Plus, he always seemed to like to take care of her. _

''_Yeah, go I'll let you know when it's ready.'' _

''_I'll set the table,'' Andy promised._

_XX_

_Around 11pm that night, Andy fell asleep with her head in Sam's lap. He looked at the clock and nudged her awake. ''Let's go to bed,'' he said. _

''_I'm going to shower first.'' Andy let out a yawn. ''I'll be able to get out of bed twenty minutes later tomorrow if I go now. Those twenty minutes mean the world in the morning.'' _

''_You up for company?'' Sam smirked. _

''_Always.'' Andy let out another yawn and stood up. They flicked out all lights when they made their way upstairs. When they were in the shower, Andy stood with her back to Sam's front. Sam was washing her hair and massaging her scalp. Andy let out a moan and let her head fall back a little. ''You're good at that.'' _

''_Mm.'' Sam pressed his lips to Andy's temple and washed out all the shampoo. When she turned around she slammed her mouth against his. Andy wrapped her arms around Sam's neck and pulled him impossibly closer. She opened her mouth a little and Sam deepened the kiss. His hands were all over her body, he let them roam over her back, arms, sides and front. _

_Sam backed her up against the wall and put his hands on her rear. He pushed her up and she immediately wrapped her arms around his waist. Neither of them felt the shower turning cold, they were too lost in each other. _

_XX_

_Sam turned off the shower and grabbed two towels. They walked to the bedroom together, both feeling bliss. Sam held back the bedcovers, so Andy could crawl in. He followed and she settled her head on his chest with a satisfied sigh. _

''_What are you getting me for my birthday?'' Andy had a wicked smile on her face. She would turn 22 the next week and Sam had been asking her what she wanted to have on a daily basis. She didn't really need anything, so she kept ignoring him. _

''_Thought you said you didn't need any presents,'' Sam teased while he rested his eyes. _

''_Fine, then you're not getting anything for your birthday either.'' Andy knew Sam cared even less about birthday gifts than she did, but she didn't have a better come back. When he didn't respond, she knew how to make him sweat a little. ''You'll be 30 in three weeks, how does that feel?''_

_Sam groaned and put a pillow over his face. ''Shut up.''_

''_30, kind of old I've gotta tell you. Maybe it's time I should trade you in for a younger model.'' It was totally meant as a joke, but when Sam turned around, Andy saw the same look in his eyes he had when they came home that afternoon. ''You know I'm joking, right?'' she quickly asked. _

''_Yeah,'' Sam nodded. ''But I would get it if you wanted to be with someone your own age,'' he added after a second of silence. _

''_Someone my own age? What the hell Sam? We're eight years apart, that isn't that much.'' _

''_It doesn't have to be,'' Sam agreed. ''But I would understand it if it would be too much for you.'' _

''_Okay, seriously, where is this coming from?'' Andy sat up again, she wasn't tired anymore. Was this Sam's way of saying he wanted to trade her in for an older model? _

''_Nothing, never mind,'' Sam said when he flicked out the light on his nightstand. _

_Andy clearly wasn't done yet and turned on the light on her side. ''I do mind. I'm perfectly happy where I am now.'' Sam didn't answer her, but seemed lost in thought. ''Sam, please tell me what is going on, because you are seriously freaking me out here.'' _

_Sam sighed and sat up too. ''Look, I'm not the easiest guy to be with and even if we're only eight years apart, we are in different stages of our lives. I have a career and my path is pretty much laid out for me, you're in school and you can still become anything you want.''_

''_I want to go to the academy, I told you that,'' Andy softly whispered. ''Do you want me to leave?'' she asked with her voice unstable._

''_Selfishly? No,'' Sam answered. ''But if it would be better for you, I'd let you go.''_

''_I don't want you to let me go, I love you.'' _

_Sam though about everything he said and she said. He wished he kept his mouth shut, he never showed this side of himself to anybody, ever. Truth was, Sam was used to people leaving him alone. Girls were never interested for the long haul and he was okay with that, neither was he until he met Andy. Besides his colleagues he didn't have any friends he was overly attached too. The only person that had always been there, was Sarah and he could go weeks without talking to her too. _

''_Sam?'' Andy asked in an unsure voice. ''You don't think we're going to last,'' she sadly said. ''You think we're too different.'' _

_Sam cleared his throat and decided to man up. ''Yeah, we're different. So we'll deal with it.'' _

''_So what is this about then?'' Andy wasn't convinced at all. _

''_Can we just forget about it?'' Sam suggested. ''I promise you that I didn't mean anything by it.'' When Andy kept looking at him with a hurt expression, he pulled her towards him and placed a kiss on the top of her head. ''I'm not used to people sticking around, but that always worked for me. With you that's different.'' _

_All of the sudden his behavior made a little more sense. Sam's past was still mostly a question mark to Andy, all though he really tried to open up to her. She knew his parents were dead, but that they weren't the best parents in the world when they were around. She knew he was dragged from foster house to foster house until Sarah aged out and became his legal guardian. She didn't have much details, he didn't like to talk about it and she didn't want to force him. _

_It made sense that he thought she would leave one day, it was basically all he knew. ''I don't know what's in our future,'' Andy whispered against his skin. ''But right now, all I want is you; I don't see that changing anytime soon.'' _

''_Okay,'' Sam whispered back. ''You're a wise girl McNally.'' _

''_Wise beyond my age right? Maybe you should consider trading me in then..,'' Andy tried to lighten the mood. _

''_Nah, like you way too much,'' Sam said before kissing her lazily. _

_XX_

Sam had his truck parked in front of Andy's apartment. It had been two days since his talk with Oliver and he couldn't get Oliver's words out of his head. '_Don't waste a good thing by keeping score.' _And now here he was, standing outside her apartment like a stalker, debating his next move.

He could go in, they could talk things out and get back together. That was what his heart wanted, he wanted to forget about all the hurt and have her in his arms again.

He could go in, talk to her and they could come to the conclusion that too much had happened. Maybe she didn't even want him back. That was what he feared, because that would make it final. At least now he had some sort of hope to hold on to.

He could go back to his house too, leave things the way they are and try to move on. That was what his head wanted. He wanted to be able to let her go. In the past year that tactic had proven itself very unsuccessful.

Sam waited a few more moments and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Andy walk up to her apartment. Apparently she hadn't even been home while he was having an inner conversation. She wasn't alone though, she had the rest of the rookies with her. Epstein was holding a bag, probably with groceries and Diaz was carrying a bag from a Chinese takeout place. Sam's gaze landed on Andy again, she was laughing and looked happy.

Sam knew the rookies got together every now and then and spent an entire evening watching movies and eating. Peck had told him about it when she showed up at work slightly hung over one time. This probably was a night like this.

There was no way Sam was going in there with an audience, so he started the truck again. The decision was made.

At least for tonight.

XX

The next few weeks went by very slow. Because of Sam's wrist he was stuck at the barn every day. Andy was partnered with Oliver every day, that meant they didn't see much of each other.

Andy was very much fine with that, she knew she deserved everything he said to her. Still, there was a little part of her that wished that things could go back to the way things were. Maybe not completely to the way things were, they both had a lot of baggage now. A lot of baggage with each other, but for a moment Andy believed they could make it work.

She didn't resent Sam for his decision. He had a good right not wanting her back, there probably would be very little people who would take someone back after what she did. She couldn't help but hope though, when he took her in his arms after she told him the real reason she left, it felt like them again for a moment. But he didn't want her back, he made that clear, she needed to make her peace with that and move on.

So every day she put on a brave face and went to work. Every time she ran into him she greeted him politely and every day she tried to avoid the looks people were shooting at her. She didn't know how, but people seemed to know more than Andy wanted them too.

When Andy walked into parade, she was almost late. The moment she sat down, Frank started giving out assignments. Andy nearly choked on her coffee when Best told them who was partnered with who today. ''Peck – Williams, Epstein – Shaw, McNally – Swarek and Nash and Diaz will help the D's.''

Andy made eye contact with Sam, he looked like he was just as surprised as she was.

''You okay?'' Traci asked her best friend.

Andy blew a hair from her face and quickly looked up. ''Yeah, yeah sure, I'll be fine.''

Traci eyed her friend and raised her eyebrows. Andy had been good lately, she smiled a lot more and didn't seem to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders anymore.

''I promise Trace, it's fine..'' Andy looked back at Sam for a moment and nodded. ''We can be professional and things haven't been so awkward lately.''

''You haven't seen each other alone lately,'' Traci reasoned.

''Well, that's true too, but I can handle this. I'm fine.'' Andy shrugged and backed away from Traci. ''I'll just get us a coffee, maybe that will break the ice.''

''Good luck,'' Traci yelled after her.

Andy quickly grabbed herself and Sam a cup of coffee, she never drove with him before, but it was sort of an unwritten rule that the rookies would bring coffee for their TO's. When she had everything, she walked towards the cruiser. Sam opened the door for her and she held out his coffee.

''Thanks,'' Sam said. He walked towards the other door and got in the car. The silence was a little uncomfortable, even for him.

''So, first day back?'' Andy asked.

''Well, first day back on the street, yes.'' Silence washed over them once again. ''Look, Oliver gave you the talk? My car, my rules..''

''Don't touch anything unless you tell me to, don't say anything unless you tell me to and don't move unless you told me to. Yup, got it,'' Andy filled in.

Sam drove around until lunchtime. They only got three calls, nothing too big. Despite the awkwardness, they worked well together. Sam always knew she would be a good cop and today she was proving that too him.

''Diner okay?'' Sam asked when it was time for them to eat.

''Yeah, fine.''

Sam parked the cruiser and together they walked towards the diner. They ordered lunch and silence overtook them again. Sam was playing with a coaster and Andy was fidgeting with her hands.

When their food finally arrived, Andy sighed with relief. While she was eating she looked up at Sam, who was looking around the diner.

''This is really awkward,'' she started. ''We are not going to talk at all?''

Sam looked up at her now and quirked an eyebrow. He had an amused expression on his face, apparently he took pleasure out of her discomfort. ''What do you want to talk about McNally?''

Andy widened her eyes and looked down again. ''Don't know.'' Andy tried to figure out what Sam was looking at, but she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. ''I like the autumn,'' she tried again. ''The leaves, and the colour of the..'' Andy paused for a moment. ''Leaves and stuff,'' she muttered.

''You know, you are the one that is making this awkward,'' Sam pointed out.

''I am doing everything I can to make this feel even a little bit normal,'' Andy protested. ''You know you are stubborn, forget it. I quit, I give up, it's not like it can get more awkward anyway.''

Sam looked at her for two seconds and tried to get the attention of the waitress. ''Miss?'' he called.

''Problem here, officer?'' the waitress asked when she reached their table.

''There is a problem with my BLT,'' Sam replied.

''Really?''

''Yeah, I think you better call a hambulance.''

Andy couldn't keep in her laughter, but the waitress was obviously not amused. ''Can I get you anything else?'' she asked annoyed.

''Well, my partner here was wondering if you have any hen ways on the menu.'' Sam took it a little further.

''What's a hen way?'' By the look on the waitress face, she already knew Sam was screwing with her again.

''About three pounds.'' The waitress sighed and turned around after that.

Andy started laughing out loud now and tried to apologize to the waitress. ''You are such an idiot,'' she pointed out with the biggest smile on her face.

Sam smiled at her and gave her a small wink. After that their day got a lot better. When they got a call about an abandoned warehouse, Andy replied to ditch patch that they would take it. According to the call, there was a guy that was hanging around the warehouse. Someone thought it looked suspicious, so he called it in.

''It's probably nothing,'' Sam explained. ''People like to be on top of things these days. 90% of calls like this, end up dead. When we get there, we'll split up. Keep your radio on and call me if you see anything out of the ordinary. No heroics.''

''Okay,'' Andy confirmed she got it.

When they reached the warehouse, they began clearing the place. Andy started at the top, while Sam started with the basement. When Andy cleared the top floor, Andy tried to radio to Sam, but he didn't respond. ''Officer Swarek?'' she called out again. ''Sam?''

Andy took her gun in her hand and began moving downstairs. When she reached the basement, she walked into a room with her gun pointed in front of her. Sam just rounded the corner, so her gun was right in his face.

''Whoah,'' Sam called out.

Andy let out a breath and holstered her gun again.

''What the hell are you doing?'' Sam practically screamed at her. ''Why are you in the basement and why are you waving your gun around?''

''I tried to radio you, but you didn't reply,'' Andy explained, still shaken up.

Sam checked his radio, but everything was in order. ''No signal,'' he explained. ''Look, there's nothing here. We'll do a quick round together and then head back to the barn, okay?''

''Yeah,'' Andy agreed.

Sam took the lead and walked into another room in the basement, Andy followed him and let the door fall shut behind her. When Sam they saw nothing was in the room, they wanted to walk out of it. Only there was no door knob. Sam let out a sarcastic laugh and turned around.

''Oh, come on,'' Andy muttered. ''We're not stuck in here are we?''

''Looks like it McNally.'' Sam tried to force the door to open, but it wasn't a simple door that he could kick in.

''Damn it, no,'' Andy called out. She grabbed her radio, only to be reminded they didn't have any signal. Then she took her cell phone. ''No signal, figures.''

''Step back,'' Sam said. When Andy looked confused he explained himself. ''I'll fire a few shots at the door, see if it breaks. I don't think it will work, but I can try.''

Andy nodded and took a few steps back. When she was safe Sam fired his gun, nothing happened, so he sighed. ''Doesn't work.''

''What now?'' Andy asked.

Sam looked around the room, there were no windows or anything. ''Did you radio back to ditch patch that you couldn't reach me?''

Andy shook her head, aware of her mistake. ''No, didn't even think about it,'' she admitted ashamed.

Sam wanted to yell at her, but she probably already learned her lesson and seemed a little shaken up. ''Always request for backup when you can't reach your partner.''

''I know, I was just worried. It was a mistake, I'm sorry, okay?'' Andy said.

Sam sighed. ''You're a rookie, you are suppose to make mistakes.''

''Now what?'' Andy asked while she was looking around. There really was no way out of here.

''Now we wait until they come looking for us.'' Sam sat down on the floor.

''How long will that be?''

Sam looked at Andy and smirked. ''That depends how long it will last before someone starts missing us.''

''So..?'' Andy tried.

''So, could be a long time.''

''Awesome,'' Andy muttered.

XX

_Authors note: Stuck in a room together, will this be where they talk things out?_

_I'm sort of running out of ideas for flashbacks. If anybody has any scenes they would like to see in a flashback, tell me, I might use it. Or maybe I'll just leave out the flashbacks, but I like them for this story..._


	11. Chapter 11

_Thanks so much for the continuing support. I love all the reviews, PM's and alerts. _

_I __wished I would be able to update more often, but life is sort of getting in the way of that. _

_Special thanks to __Falesification223 for the flashback idea. _

XX

Sam watched as Andy paced through the basement. She had pounded on every wall, stood in front of every wall for a view minutes and was looking up at the ceiling now.

''I don't think a window will magically appear McNally.'' Sam shook his head and crossed his legs. He sat down on the floor the moment they were stuck. There was no way they were getting out of here without back up, so he didn't see the point in what Andy was doing.

''There has to be some way out of here.'' Andy looked at the wall again. ''Seriously, who makes rooms like this?''

Sam sighed and ran his hand across his face. ''Just relax, when if we don't call in, someone will be alarmed eventually.''

''That could take hours.'' This situation was really working on Andy's nerves. The universe really must be against her. It was hard enough that she had to work with Sam, all though after their lunch it had actually been bearable. To be stuck with him in a room, that was a different story.

Sam closed his eyes and shrugged his shoulders.

''Are you seriously going to sleep?'' Andy asked. ''While we're stuck in here?''

''What do you want me to do?'' Sam asked back.

Andy though about how to answer that question, she wanted him to get her out of there, but that wasn't really an option. ''I don't know, not sleep.''

''Since when are you claustrophobic? Just sit down and wait until they come get us, won't be too long.''

''I'm not claustrophobic!'' Andy said while she waved her hands around. ''I just don't like being stuck in basements, they are damp and small and smell really bad.'' Sam didn't reply and after a while that started bugging Andy. ''You just gonna sit there and say nothing?'' she asked accusingly.

''What do you want me to say?''

''Just.. something,'' Andy tried. ''I don't like being stuck in here, okay?'' Andy hated admitting feeling scared or emotional about anything, but she just really hated it.

Sam opened his eyes again and looked at her with his piercing eyes. ''You were never afraid of small spaces or anything else for that matter,'' Sam stated.

''I'm not afraid,'' Andy defended herself. ''Just slightly uncomfortable.''

''Did it start after..'' Sam didn't know how to finish his sentence. Part of him still had a lot of trouble wrapping his head around the fact that he let this happen to her. That he didn't see the signs, that he just let her walk out of his life. All this time he was mad at her, now he was mad at himself for letting go this easily. He didn't force her to talk to him, he didn't call her after that first night. He just left too.

''Don't,'' Andy said while she pointed at him. ''Don't make a victim out of me. I've been handling everything perfectly fine for the last year and a half, I'm okay now too.''

''I'm not making a victim out of you, you are a victim.'' Sam kept his gaze on her and noticed she was starting to get mad. He thought that maybe, that would be a good thing. She had kept everything bottled up all this time, it would be good for her to let everything out.

''Just knock it off Sam.''

''What?'' he asked. ''It's true. No matter what the situation was like or how long ago it has happened, you are a victim and it's okay if you're scared.''

''You are treating me like a witness,'' Andy said while she folded her arms across her chest. ''I'm not a witness and what happened, happened a long time ago. Not that much happened anyway, so don't act like I'm some weak and vulnerable teenage girl.''

Sam stood up and looked at her without saying anything. ''You're a cop, you know better than that,'' he said after a minute. ''Every assault is a different story and every person is different. What happened to you scared you and messed you up, that's understandable.''

Andy turned around so he couldn't see her face anymore. ''I already told you I'm fine. And I don't like it when you insinuate I'm bad at my job.''

Sam let out a breath and threw his hands up. ''When did I insinuate that? From what I've heard and seen, you're a damn fine cop Andy.''

At that Andy turned around and looked him in the eye again. ''You called me Andy,'' she said after a few seconds. When Sam looked at her with a questioning expression, she helped him out. ''Ever since... since we work together, you've been calling me McNally. You never used my first name.''

They stood in front of each other, both staring, both aware of all the feelings that were still there. ''I guess I thought it was easier that way,'' Sam stated after a moment. ''Keep some distance.''

''And?'' Andy asked. It hurt to ask that question, because she knew the answer could crush her. Even if she was to afraid to act on her feeling, in her head there was always some hope left.

Sam shrugged and looked at her a little helpless. ''Andy just.. I know you probably want to punch me, but what happened with Boyd, it wasn't your fault. You know that right?''

Andy looked up at the ceiling and then looked back at Sam. ''I know he was the one that was wrong,'' she admitted. ''But I can't help but feel like I should have made a lot of different decisions.''

''That's not uncommon,'' Sam tried to comfort her. ''After.. after Sarah's attack..'' Sam waited a few seconds trying to get himself together, he never talked to anybody about Sarah, not until Andy came along. ''After that, she went over that night a million times trying to figure out how she could've prevented it. No matter how many options she came up with, it always ended in tears, because it happened and nothing will change that.''

''Sam, what happened with me is nothing like Sarah,'' Andy said softly. ''What happened to her is so much worse.''

''This isn't a matter of worse or better,'' Sam said. ''Someone hurt you and you dealt with that on your own for more than a year. There is no shame in admitting that you are scared of stuff.''

''I'm a cop Sam,'' Andy defended herself. ''I can handle myself.''

''I know you can.'' Sam gave her a small smile. ''But you have to know that you don't have to do it all by yourself. From what I've seen you've got a good friend in Nash. Epstein and Diaz seem like good guys too and even Peck has got your back.''

''I know,'' Andy smiled back. ''They're great, but I don't need pity. Traci is the only one that really knows and even though I know the rest of them have heard stories, I just don't want to be _that _girl.''

Sam raised his eyebrows and took a step towards Andy. ''What girl? The girl who can't handle every single fight on her own? Nobody can handle everything on their own Andy, we all need someone sometimes.''

Andy moved away from Sam and sat down on the floor, her back against the wall. She pulled her knees up and rested her head on them. After a while she spoke up again. ''I hid in the bathroom after I fought him off. I don't even know how long I stayed in there. Since that night I hate being locked in.'' Andy let out a sarcastic laugh and shook her head. ''It's pathetic, I couldn't even shower without the bathroom door open for the first months.''

''It's not pathetic,'' Sam reassured. ''You were scared and that's only natural.'' Sam debated his next move for a moment, but decided he didn't really have much to lose. So he sat down next to her and put a comforting hand on her back. ''I'm sorry I wasn't there, that I didn't see what happened.''

''Not your fault,'' Andy said with her head facing the other way. ''I didn't give you a chance to find out, I just left.''

''I should've fought harder,'' Sam admitted. ''I should have talked to you, but I guess...'' Sam took a deep breath before continuing, ''I guess I was afraid for what you would have to say.''

At that Andy turned her head. Sam never admitted being afraid for anything or anybody, she knew that. Only when it came to her he showed some of his weaknesses. ''I'm sorry too,'' Andy said. ''I should have told you what happened, it was stupid to leave. I just didn't know what to do and I was afraid for what would happen when you found out.''

''We both made mistakes,'' Sam concluded.

''Yeah,'' Andy agreed.

XX

''_Why do men always wait until the last minute to fill up the gas?'' Andy let out a frustrated breath and shook her head. ''We're stuck here now.'' _

''_We wouldn't be stuck if you wouldn't have missed the exit,'' Sam argued. ''Or if you wouldn't have insisted on driving.''_

''_I didn't exactly think you would fall asleep,'' Andy accused Sam. ''You know I've only been to Sarah's once. Plus, it's dark, everything looks the same here.'' _

_They had been on the road to St. Catherines when Andy noticed that Sam was too tired to drive. He just came off a double shift and he had trouble keeping his eyes open. She insisted that she would drive the rest of the way, but was a little concerned with how little gas they had left. Sam insisted they would be fine, but then he fell asleep and Andy missed an exit. Basically they were on a deserted road, with no way to go. _

''_Why didn't you wake me the second you found out you missed the exit?'' Sam let out a yawn and shook his head._

''_Because I knew you would get mad,'' Andy shot back. ''I thought I knew how to get back, but clearly I was wrong.'' _

_Sam sighed and opened the door of the truck. ''Come on, let's see if we can find a gas station. Sitting in the truck won't get us anywhere.''_

''_Sam, you're exhausted. This is my fault, okay? Why don't you just stay here and I'll be back as soon as possible.'' _

_Sam laughed with a sarcastic undertone. ''Yeah, that's not going to happen.'' Andy looked at him with a questioning look. ''Look around Andy, I'm not going to let you walk around here alone.'' _

''_I'll be fine,'' Andy insisted. ''You taught me some good self defense moves.'' _

''_Yeah, but I didn't teach you those in the hope you would need to use them.'' Andy looked really guilty, so Sam decided to drop the argument. ''Look, it's probably way to far anyway. Let's just call Sarah and tell her where we are, she'll come and rescue us. It will probably make her day that I'm stranded.'' _

_While Sam called Sarah, Andy stayed in the truck. She looked at Sam through the mirror and saw him pacing the street. When he finished the call, he moved to the passenger side again. ''She'll be here in an hour or so.'' _

''_Okay,'' Andy whispered. Sam sat back in his chair and closed his eyes again. Andy kept looking him, he hadn't even really screamed at her yet. She definitely thought this would involve screaming, a lot. _

''_I'm really sorry,'' she said one more time. ''I know you were looking forward to seeing Sarah and that you're really tired.'' _

_Sam opened his eyes and look at Andy for a moment. He grabbed her hand over the console and squeezed it. ''It's okay,'' he promised. ''I should have stayed awake, these roads are pretty tricky. I have to admit I got lost the first time I went to visit Sarah too.'' _

''_God, Sarah must hate me,'' Andy groaned. ''She has to drive all the way over here because of me.'' _

''_She doesn't hate you,'' Sam said. ''Actually, I'm a little afraid you two will be ganging up on me in no time.'' _

_Andy chuckled and shook her head. ''She loves you, I'm was pretty sure I was going to get the 'if you hurt my little brother, I know where to find you' speech the first time I saw her.''_

''_Nah,'' Sam said. ''Sarah was pretty happy she got to meet you.'' Andy still didn't look entirely convinced, so Sam cupped her cheek and ran his thumb across her cheek. ''Hey, I mean it, don't worry about it. I should have paid attention to the road, I knew you were nervous.'' _

''_Okay,'' Andy settled. She sat back in her seat and looked around. ''Guess we're stuck here for now.'' _

''_Could be a whole lot worse,'' Sam said. Andy turned to face him again and Sam grinned. ''Could have been without you.''_

_Andy slapped his chest lightly and laughed. ''Charming.'' _

''_I know, it's a gift really.'' Sam leaned in to kiss Andy and Andy happily gave in to his silent request. When their mouths met, Andy gripped the material of Sam's shirt and pulled him closer to her. When he deepened the kiss, Andy got frustrated with the console that was in their way. _

''_Hey,'' she muttered against his mouth while she nudged his nose with hers. ''Ever had sex in your truck?'' _

_Sam backed away and looked at her with a weird expression. ''You do realise that's illegal, right?'' _

''_No one is here,'' Andy protested. ''Will be our secret.'' _

''_If you don't mind, I'd rather not risk my sister walking in on that scene.'' Sam wasn't shy, not even a little bit, but there were just some things your siblings shouldn't witness. _

''_Sarah won't be here until another hour or so.'' Andy moved her lips back to his and gave him the dirtiest kiss she ever gave him. ''Come on, we're stuck here anyway.''_

''_You make it sound like a chore,'' Sam complained. ''We can't Andy, you know that.'' _

_On the inside Andy was laughing. Sam had never turned her down, ever. She knew it wasn't that he didn't want her, he just didn't want to get caught. Probably the reason he didn't want to, was to protect her. That seemed to be his first instinct in every situation. ''Mmm,'' Andy moaned. ''That's a shame.'' She moved her lips to his neck as best as she could in the car seat. _

''_Andy, you gotta stop,'' Sam tried. _

''_You know,'' Andy started again when she sat back in her seat. ''For someone who doesn't want to, you aren't really protesting very loudly.'' _

''_It's against my nature to protest against anything that involves getting you naked,'' Sam smiled. _

''_Shame you don't want to do this though,'' Andy tried one more time. ''Would be really good.'' _

_Sam felt his mouth go dry a little and felt his resistance slip away. ''How do you know?'' Sam knew he was walking on dangerous land here. He knew Andy well enough to know she would be so ashamed if someone would catch them. _

''_It's always good with you,'' Andy complimented him. Their mouths were still just slightly apart and Andy laid her hand on his thigh. ''Would be good for you too,'' she promised. ''I would do that thing you like.'' As she said that, she let her hand creep up a few inches. _

''_That thing with..?'' Sam asked. _

_Andy smiled and gave in the last few millimeters by attaching her mouth to his one more time. After a few seconds she backed away a little bit again. ''Yeah, that,'' she confirmed. She kept massaging his upper thigh and grinned as she removed her hand and sat back in her chair. ''Too bad you don't want to, huh?'' _

''_McNally,'' Sam warned. _

_Andy did her best to look as innocent as possible when she looked him in the eye. ''What? You don't want to right?'' Andy couldn't stop herself from grinning, because she knew she got him exactly where she wanted him. _

''_McNally, backseat, now,'' Sam growled before opening the door. _

_Andy laughed out loud and moved out of her seat too._

_XX_

''It's taking a really long time,'' Andy noticed. They were both sitting on the floor of the basement. Their bodies touched from their shoulders to their legs.

''Probably means it's a busy day,'' Sam said. ''Don't worry, they'll come and find us.''

''I know,'' Andy agreed. She let out a yawn and looked to the door. ''There hasn't been a day where I didn't regret my decision.''

Sam pulled his knees up and looked at the girl next to him. ''Andy, we agreed we both made mistakes, okay?''

''No,'' Andy replied. ''It's not okay. I need you to know that you have been on my mind every day since the day I left. I tried getting over you, I really did. But every time I came to the same conclusion: I was an idiot for leaving..''

''Andy,'' Sam tried.

''No, you've got to let me finish.'' Andy knew she probably wouldn't ever have the guts to do this again, so she needed to finish it immediately. ''I didn't leave because I didn't trust you, you've got to know that. I left because I thought that at the end of the road, that would be best for you. I left because I trusted you. I knew you wouldn't let someone hurt me and get away with that, but you couldn't do anything about it. That's why I left.'' Andy took a deep breath and nodded a few times. ''Just... if you never believe a word I say again, I guess that that's my fault, but you need to believe that I really love you more than I ever even thought possible.''

Sam had a hard time taking everything in. In a way she didn't say anything new, she already told him all of this. His heart and mind were in conflict. His heart wanted to reach out to her, pull her near and never let her go again. His mind was afraid of the consequences if he would let her get too close again. ''Andy,'' he tried after a few moments. ''I know, okay? I know you tried to protect me. I wish you didn't, but it happened and it's over.''

''Okay,'' Andy nodded. Her face was red and Sam knew she wanted to cry, but that she was putting on a brave face.

''Hey, come on,'' Sam nudged her shoulder with his. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. ''It's okay,'' he whispered. ''I know why you did it, I guess I even understand it.'' Sam still didn't know what it is about this girl, he would walk through fire if that meant keeping her happy. The only reason he knew she was crying, was because he felt tear stains on his neck. ''Shh, it's okay,'' he tried to comfort.

''I wish I could go back in time,'' Andy said one more time. ''I would do everything so different.''

''We can't change what happened,'' Sam stated. ''We can learn from it though, making sure we don't make the same mistakes again.''

Andy removed her face from his neck and put her hand on his cheek. ''I've missed you so much. There have been so many moments where I thought about calling you or visiting you. There were times where I already dialled your number, but then I remembered how stupid I had been..''

Sam had enough of her blaming herself. Of course she should have talked to him, but she was to scared and he couldn't hold that against her. ''Andy, stop it.'' Sam moved from his position on the floor and crouched down in front of Andy. He grabbed her face with two hands and forced her to look up to him. A tear escaped from her eyes and he whipped it away with his thumb. ''It's okay, we're both okay now and Boyd will be punished. He won't be punished for what he did to you, but he'll pay for everything else and he'll never come close to you again.''

''I hate being weak like this,'' Andy softly whispered. ''I swore I wouldn't shed another tear.''

''You're one of the strongest people I know,'' Sam promised. His hands were still on her face and he moved his forehead towards hers too. ''Not many people would have been able to keep everything in. You've dealt with everything on your own and it's only logical that that has taken its toll on you.''

''It shouldn't,'' Andy breathed out. ''It happened such a long time ago, why does it still affect me?''

One of Sam's hands tangled in Andy's hair while the other moved to her neck. He looked her in the eye again, just to be sure she really got his message. ''Because you haven't dealt with it.'' Sam removed the hand in her hair to brush her bangs from her eye, a habit he just to have while they were together. ''You tell yourself you're over it, but you've locked it away instead of dealing with it. The last few weeks brought back memories, that's perfectly understandable.''

''I'm sorry,'' Andy apologized for the umpteenth time that day.

''Ssh, no, no more apologies.'' Sam pulled Andy in a hug and let her hide her face from him. By her breathing he knew she was fighting to stay calm, so he whispered comforting words in her ear. ''You are okay,'' he promised her. ''I'm not going to let anything happen to you.'' Sam hated himself for saying that, he had promised her that a million times already, but clearly he couldn't safe her from everything.

When Sam felt his feet growing numb from his uncomfortable position, he nudged Andy. ''Come on,'' he said. ''We've got to stand up for a moment, keep the blood moving.''

''Yeah,'' Andy agreed. She quickly whipped her eyes dry and nodded.

When they were both standing straight, Andy created some distance between them. She was happy they got to talk, but she didn't want to make any assumptions. When Sam saw her moving away, he took a hold of her hand and pulled her towards him.

Sam cupped her cheek one more time and moved in slower than he had ever done before. He wanted her to be able to back away, he never wanted to do anything she could feel uncomfortable with. When their lips met, it was as if no time had passed since the last time they had kissed. Everything felt right again, normal.

Everything was normal, except for the fact that Sam was more gentle than he ever was before. He kept the kiss totally innocent, but when Andy opened her mouth a little, he couldn't help but deepen the kiss. Andy's hands were holding on to Sam's Kevlar vest, while Sam's hands rested on the small of Andy's back.

After a while the need for air became too big, so they broke the kiss. Andy let out a content sigh and Sam nudged her nose with his before resting his forehead against hers. Both of them didn't say anything for a while, mostly because they just didn't know what to say.

Neither of them were sure about what just happened. Was this a way to end everything between them on normal grounds? Or was this a way to start something new?

''I didn't mean to,'' Sam broke the silence.

''Don't talk,'' Andy shut him up. ''Whatever you've got to say, I'm not sure if I'm willing to hear it. So please, just hold it in a few more moments.''

''Okay,'' Sam agreed. ''Okay.''

They didn't get much more moments, because before they knew it, loud banging sounds filled the room. Sam grabbed his gun and he instructed Andy to do the same. Both of them pointed their guns towards the door.

Relief washed over both of them when they heard Oliver's familiar voice call out. ''Sammy, McNally?''

''In here,'' Sam yelled. ''We're stuck, can't get the damn door to open.''

A few seconds later, the door opened and Oliver walked in together with Peck and Epstein. ''Why didn't you call in?'' Dov asked. ''Half of TPD is looking for you two.''

''Great idea, Epstein. Wish I would have thought of that,'' Sam sarcastically said. When Dov kept looking at him, Sam grabbed his radio. ''No reception here, so we had to wait for you guys.''

Oliver looked at Sam and Andy, he noticed Andy looked incredibly tired. ''You guys okay?''

''Yeah, let's head back to the barn,'' Sam replied.

''McNally?'' Oliver asked, just to be sure she was okay.

''Yeah, I'm good, let's go.''

XX

As soon as everybody was informed both missing officers were found and okay, everybody headed back to the barn. The drive back to the barn was quiet, way to quiet for Andy's liking. She kept glancing at Sam, but he didn't show any signs of emotion.

When Sam parked the cruiser, he turned to face Andy. ''You are okay,'' he told her one more time. ''Even if things feel difficult, just know that you are going to be okay.''

''I know,'' Andy agreed. ''Thanks.''

After she showered and changed, Andy walked out of the locker room. She had a ton of paperwork she filled out after they returned to the barn, but Sam was nowhere in sight. She had waited for him for half an hour till after shift, because she needed his autograph on some of the papers. Apparently getting stuck involved lots and lots of paperwork.

After thirty minutes she had given up, she would ask him to sign everything tomorrow. To her surprises, Sam was leaning against the wall opposite of the locker room door. ''Hey,'' she gave him a small smile. ''I've been looking for you, I did all our paperwork, but you need to sign it.''

''Already done, Oliver gave it to me.''

''Oh, okay, good.'' Andy nodded and looked around. ''Waiting on someone?''

''You,'' Sam answered. ''Need a ride home?''

Andy swallowed and slowly nodded. They needed to talk about everything that happened, they both owed that to each other. ''Yeah, that would be great actually.''

Sam led her out to his truck and started the engine when she was seated. The drive over to her place was silent again. Andy noticed Sam gripped his steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckled white.

Sam wasn't one for over thinking things, he normally just acted, but right now his brain was working overtime. He wanted her, when he had kissed her he felt every piece of his body and mind come back to life. Not only did he want her, he needed her. She had told him she still loved him in that basement. She probably didn't even realise it, but she didn't use the word loved, but the word love.

When Sam parked the truck at her apartment, Andy looked at him, but he didn't look back. ''Okay,'' she said. ''Thanks for the ride, I'll see you tomorrow.''

When she moved to open the door, Sam grabbed her arm. ''Andy, about what happened..''

Sam didn't finish his sentence and after a few seconds Andy drew her own conclusions. ''It's okay, heat of the moment, I get it.''

''No,'' Sam quickly said. ''I meant to do it.'' After a few seconds he continued. ''I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you.''

Andy couldn't help her lips from twitching up just a little. ''Okay,'' she said. ''I uh, I didn't exactly mind.''

''Let me walk you up,'' Sam said before opening his own door. He knew it was stupid, it was still light and she didn't even live in a bad neighborhood.

''Okay,'' Andy said again. They walked up to her apartment in silence, both of them slightly nervous. ''This is me,'' Andy pointed at a door. ''Do you want to come in?''

''Andy, I don't know,'' Sam started. He knew what he wanted, he also knew she was too messed up after today to even consider going there. ''It's probably best if I don't.''

''Oh,'' Andy sounded disappointed. ''That's okay to. I get it.''

''It's not because I don't want to,'' Sam explained. ''I just don't think it's wise.''

When he said that, Andy took a step forward, feeling confident all of the sudden. ''Why not?'' she asked.

Sam felt all his arguments against this slipping away, but then he remembered how vulnerable and broken she had seemed just a few hours ago. The last thing they both needed was to make decisions in an emotional state. ''We had a long day,'' Sam settled for. ''We should both get some sleep.''

''Just one drink?'' Andy tried. She wasn't ready to let him go just yet.

After an internal debate that lasted a few seconds, Sam gave in. ''Okay,'' he agreed. ''One drink.''

Andy opened the door and let Sam in. He took in the apartment and noticed it was very her. ''Nice place,'' he told her. ''Looks like it's very you.''

''It's not much,'' Andy shrugged. ''But it's mine.'' Andy quickly grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed Sam one. She took a gulp and sat herself down on one of the chairs. Sam moved over to her and sat down on the couch. ''So..'' Andy started again.

''Yeah,'' Sam muttered. He downed his beer quickly and looked around the apartment. There were a few pictures on the wall, he couldn't make out who were on them.

After a while Andy stood up and joined Sam on the couch. They were both uncomfortable, that much was clear. Neither knew what the next move should be, both insecure about what the other person wanted. Sam was done all of the sudden. He was tired of feeling like this, so he put his beer on the table and faced Andy. He softly pressed his lips to hers for the second time that day.

Andy sighed against his mouth, happy with the decision he made. She kissed him back and when the angle became uncomfortable, she moved so she could straddle him. Sam's hand found her rear while the other one moved to her neck to keep her close. Andy's hands were lost in Sam's hair as she slowly massaged his skull.

When they both needed some air, Sam let go of her neck, but attached his mouth to her neck as soon as he let it go. He sucked and nibbled on her skin while Andy let out a small moan. She whispered his name and pulled on his head until he got the message. Their lips met again and Andy started pushing her hips down, looking for some friction.

Sam's hands got a grip on her hips and he gave her one last small kiss. ''I've got to go,'' he whispered.

''What?'' Andy asked. ''You can stay.''

''No,'' Sam reluctantly said. ''We can't.'' When he looked in Andy's eyes he saw hurt flash inside of them. ''It's not that I don't want to,'' he reassured.

''Then why?'' Andy asked.

''We should take it slow,'' Sam suggested.

''I don't want slow,'' Andy insisted.

Sam smiled and kissed her one last time before untangling their bodies. ''Go out with me?'' he asked.

''What?'' Andy asked with a smile.

''Go out with me,'' he repeated. ''Tomorrow night, let's go out to dinner.''

''Okay,'' Andy agreed. ''Yeah, I would like that.''

''Good,'' Sam said before standing up. He walked towards the door and waited until she joined him. Andy stood on her toes so she could kiss him again. Sam kept her close and let go after a few seconds. ''I'll see you tomorrow Andy.''

''See you tomorrow,'' she agreed.

XX

_So, what do you think?_

_I'm sort of in doubt about rounding up this story or continuing for a few more chapters, let me know what you think, your opinion matters to me. _


	12. Chapter 12

_Here's the next chapter of Coming back. _

_I hope you'll enjoy it!._

_Special thanks to __Jena, she came up with the idea for the flashback!__  
_

_XX_

Andy looked in the mirror one more time and turned around. ''You sure about this dress?'' she asked Traci. Sam would pick Andy up in less than twenty minutes. ''I'm not so sure, maybe I should wear jeans.''

''Andy, come on,'' Traci tried. ''You look great in that dress.''

''What if we're going somewhere casual?'' Andy looked down at her dress again and shook her head. ''I'm just not so sure we'll go somewhere that would ask for a dress.''

Traci stood up and walked towards her friend. When she was standing in front of Andy, she grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, so that Andy was facing the mirror again. ''You look beautiful. Even if you're going someplace casual, this dress will be perfect. It's a nice dress, but it's not too formal.''

Andy sighed and cringed her nose. ''We'll probably just go someplace low-key, Sam isn't really into restaurants and dining. As long as he gets his meat quota, he's happy.''

''You should wear those earrings you wore when we graduated from the academy. They'll go great with the rest of your outfit.'' Traci sat back down again and gave her friend a long hard look. ''Do you think you'll be spending the night together?''

''Traci!'' Andy shrieked. ''That's none of your business.'' Andy took a deep breath and put her ear studs in. She looked back at Traci and shrugged her shoulders. ''I don't know, I don't know if he'll want to..''

Traci chuckled and threw her head back. ''He's a guy, right? Believe me, he'll want to.''

''I basically threw myself at him yesterday, yet he turned me down.'' Andy knew Sam only turned her down because he didn't want to rush anything. Still, that made her feel more vulnerable than she ever thought was possible. She hadn't been with anybody after Sam, mostly because she didn't want anybody else but Sam, but also because she didn't trust anybody to touch her.

''Sweetie, he was only looking out for you,'' Traci tried to comfort her best friend. ''I know you probably don't want to hear this, but he's probably just trying not to cross any lines you're not comfortable with.''

Andy sighed and nodded. She knew Traci was right, if there was one thing she was sure of, it was that Sam is a good man. His respect for women goes through the roof, Andy always suspected Sarah's history got something to do with that. ''I know, but I'm not made of china and I would hate it if he would treat me that way. What happened was horrible, but I left it behind me and there are a lot of people who go through things much worse.''

''That doesn't matter, no matter how many people go through things that are more horrible, that doesn't make what happened to you right. It's only logical if you would be a little hesitant about sleeping with someone.'' Traci couldn't place herself in Andy's shoes, but she could imagine how hard it must be to let someone get that close to you again.

''I slept with him, after that night,'' Andy admitted. Somehow they never got to that part of the story.

''Sam?'' Traci asked.

Andy nodded and looked down. ''First few days I avoided him, but after a while I couldn't do that anymore. So, I decided I should just push all my thoughts and feelings aside and be with him. I always felt safe with him.''

''But you didn't that time?'' Traci guessed.

''It's not that I didn't feel safe.'' Andy took a moment to think about how to phrase her next sentence. ''I just felt so dirty. I was panicking, but not because of Sam. Just because every time I closed my eyes, I was back in that room.''

''Sam didn't notice?'' Traci's hate towards Boyd started to grow and grow. She didn't understand how it was possible people did things like this.

Andy gave a weak smile and shrugged her shoulders. ''By that time he was pretty happy I was letting him near me. Still, he noticed something was up. I told him I wasn't feeling so well, brushed it off.''

Andy stayed silent for a few moments and took a deep breath. ''It's been more than a year, it's not possible it will still feel like that, right?''

''I can't answer that for you Andy, you know that.'' Traci gave her friend a one-armed hug and squeezed her shoulder. ''Just know, whatever you feel or don't feel...it's okay. Don't do anything you don't want to do, but don't stop yourself if you do want something.''

Andy smiled at Traci and closed her eyes. ''It's Sam, it will be fine.''

''Okay,'' Traci said. ''Maybe it's best to just be open about it. I'm sure he thought about this as well. It can't be too easy for him knowing what happened.''

''I know,'' Andy agreed. ''Still, talking about it seems a little weird. I think that would get uncomfortable. Yesterday, when he was here, we kissed for a long time. That didn't feel weird or uncomfortable at all.''

''That's good, just go with the flow and you'll be fine. Like you already told me a million times, Sam is a good guy. Whatever happens, he'll understand.''

XX

Right on time, there was a knock to Andy's door. She walked towards it and slowly opened. She wasn't able to keep a smile from appearing on her face. ''Hey,'' she said.

''Hey, one of your neighbours let me into your building,'' Sam explained. ''You look nice.''

''Thanks,'' Andy smiled back. She gave Sam a quick look over. He was wearing dark jeans and a black button down shirt. It was simple, but it was totally Sam. Secretly Andy always preferred this look, he looked good in a tux, but that just wasn't really him. ''You look good too.''

''Thanks, you ready to go?''

''Yeah, give me one second to grab my purse.'' Andy walked back into her apartment and came back.

Without saying a word, they walked downstairs. Both of them were nervous, Andy could tell that by the way Sam was playing with his keys. He would probably rather die than admit he was nervous, so she kept her mouth shut. Andy wasn't surprised he didn't buy her flowers or brought her something else. In the two years they were together he only bought her flowers once. Sam just wasn't that guy, he didn't spoil her rotten with gifts, he just showed he cared by being there.

When they reached his truck, Sam cleared his throat. ''Uh, I thought Italian would be good. What about you?''

Andy smiled, happy he still remembered she loved Italian food. ''Italian is perfect,'' she complimented. Sam opened the passenger door and helped her inside, when she was settled he walked around the truck and got in too.

The drive to the restaurant was slightly uncomfortable. Neither knew exactly what to say. Andy played with her necklace and gazed outside the window. It felt good to be near Sam again, that much was clear to her. She had missed him, like a ridiculous amount. It felt good to just smell him again, this smell of leather and coffee.

''You okay?'' Sam asked out of the blue.

Andy's head snapped up and she quickly started nodding. ''Yeah, I'm good, good, you? What about you?''

Sam chuckled and nodded. ''Yeah McNally, I'm good too. Come on, don't be nervous. It's just me.''

Andy was slightly surprised Sam brought up her obvious nerves. ''Come on, like you aren't a little nervous too?''

Sam smiled and shook his head. ''I'm awesome McNally. I don't get nervous.''

''Oh, I seem to recall a few moments from the past where you were definitely nervous.'' Andy laughed and was happy that Sam broke the ice a little. ''Sarah's wedding for instance, you were nervous.''

''I wasn't nervous, I just hated the tux I had to wear,'' Sam clarified.

Andy smiled and looked outside the window too. ''You looked hot. I even got you out on the dance floor. I never would have thought I would get you out there.'' Andy was silent for a few moments before continuing. ''And you were nervous.''

''I had to walk my sister down the aisle in front of a hundred people. She kept nagging me that I couldn't stand on her dress, you would be nervous too.'' Sam turned the steering wheel and kept his gaze on the road.

''Ha, you admit it you were nervous,'' Andy chuckled.

Sam smiled and shook his head. ''She's pregnant,'' he informed Andy. ''Called me a little while back to tell me I'm going to be an uncle.''

''What?'' Andy practically shrieked. ''That's great, she's going to be such a good mom.'' After a second of silence she spoke up again. ''That is one lucky kid, Sarah is going to be great.''

''Yeah,'' Sam agreed.

Andy bit her bottom lip and looked at Sam. ''Have you told her, you know, about this?'' No matter how much she wanted to be back with Sam, Andy knew being back in his life meant dealing with his friends and family too. Professionally his friends hadn't been so bad, Jerry was tough from time to time, but she was able to work with him. She knew not everybody would be too happy with their new attempt to make it work.

Sam swallowed and shook his head. ''No,'' he confessed. ''I haven't talked to her yet and I don't know, guess it's none of her business yet.'' Sam noticed Andy's discomfort and put a reassuring hand on her knee. ''It's okay Andy, it's not about anybody else but us, okay? So it doesn't matter what anybody else says about it.''

After Sam squeezed her knee, Andy felt a little bit better. It wasn't that simple, of course it wasn't that simple. Still, for Sam maybe it was that simple. He never seemed to be bothered by opinions of others.

''I'm serious,'' Sam pulled Andy out of her thoughts. ''Don't worry about others okay, let's just first find out what this,'' he gestured between the two of them, ''is and then we'll deal with everything else.''

''Okay,'' Andy agreed. ''That's fine.''

XX

_They had been together for a while, but Andy hadn't met any of his friends yet. She was walking out of class when she saw Sam's truck. She smiled and walked over to him. ''Hey, didn't know we had a date planned?'' she asked. ''Or are you here to carry my books to my next class?'' she teased. _

''_I thought this was your last class?'' Sam raised his eyebrows. ''So I was here to see if you're up for company for the night.'' _

''_Well,'' Andy started. ''That would depend on the company.'' She linked her arm through Sam's and was amused by the look on his face. If there was one thing she learned about him the last couple of months, Sam did not like public display of affection. Sure, at home he could be all over her, but never in public. At first Andy was bothered by it a little, but she reasoned he showed her he wanted her more than enough in private. _

''_How about a cop, pretty good looking one I might add,'' Sam said. ''Dark hair, dark eyes. You know, your average dream man.'' _

''_Little bit overconfident, are we?'' Andy teased. ''But I guess you'll do.'' _

''_Charming,'' Sam replied. He watched as she climbed into his truck and he took his place behind the steering wheel. ''I was thinking, maybe we could go to the Penny tonight?''_

_Andy's eyes widened a little. She knew the Penny was the usual hang-out place for cops from 15__th__ division. She had even dragged her dad's ass from there once. After that he had always chosen more anonymous places to get wasted. ''Like, with your friends?'' she asked, slightly shocked. _

_Sam smiled and nodded. ''Yeah, there will probably be some of my friends there. Like Oliver, you know Oliver, right?''_

''_From when I was fifteen and my dad made him entertain me as rookie punishment, yeah,'' Andy clarified. ''Not as your girlfriend, isn't that too weird?'' _

_Sam chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. ''What did you think, that you would never meet my friends? You might as well do it now, rip off the band-aid.'' _

''_Rip off the band..'' Andy started. ''Thank you, that's very comforting.'' _

''_I know,'' Sam laughed. She still amused him with her attitude. She always acted so confident, but Sam knew that was only on the outside. Deep down she really wanted to be liked and appreciated. ''Hey, I met your dad.''_

''_You already knew my dad before you met me,'' Andy argued. ''And my dad is drunk ninety percent of the time, so that doesn't count.'' _

''_Just come with me Andy, it will be fine,'' Sam tried one more time. ''If you're not having fun, we'll be out of there in no time.'' _

_Andy sighed and leaned her head against the chair. ''You promise?'' she asked with a pout. _

_Sam laughed at how much she looked like a four year old sulking right now. ''I promise, just say the word and we're gone.''_

_XX_

_That night Andy was incredibly nervous. She thought this was a really, really bad idea. She didn't know what to talk about with Sam's friends. They were all older than Sam, which meant they were at least a decade older than her. Besides, she was still in college, his friends would probably all agree that she was too young for him. ''Maybe we should just stay in?'' she asked Sam. _

_Sam just finished his shower and was already changing. ''Why?'' he asked. When he looked at her he knew why, she was nervous. Sam took a step towards her and took her hand. ''I want them to meet you, okay? You're a part of my life now and they want to know who you are.'' _

''_What if they don't like who I am?'' Andy asked slightly insecure._

''_Then that's too bad for them, I'll still like who you are.'' Sam kissed the tip of Andy's nose and pulled her towards him. ''Now, let's go and you'll see that there's nothing to worry about.'' _

_XX_

_When they entered the Penny, Sam waved at a table in the back. He put his hand on the small of Andy's back and brought her to his friends. ''Guys,'' Sam greeted his friends. ''There's someone I'd like you all to meet, this is Andy. Andy, this is Oliver, Jerry, Frank and Noelle. We all went through the academy together.'' _

_Andy shyly waved at the group and smiled faintly. She sat down on the barstool that Sam pulled towards her. It took her a while to get accustomed to the group, but nobody seemed bothered by her. _

_After a while she was actually enjoying herself. She was sitting next to Noelle who asked her about what classes she was taking. Noelle seemed easy to be around, she even cracked a few jokes about how Andy put up with Sam. _

_When Jerry got up to get a new round of drinks, he looked at Andy and raised an eyebrow. ''You old enough to drink?'' he asked with a smirk. _

_Andy turned red and nodded. ''Yeah, I am,'' she answered. She felt Sam's hand on her knee and relaxed a little. When Jerry was away, Sam leaned into her and whispered in her ear. ''Don't be bothered by Jerry. He's an ass, but also one of my best friends. He's just teasing.''_

''_It's okay,'' Andy reassured Sam. ''I'm having fun, they're nice.'' _

''_Good,'' Sam said. _

_After a while Oliver and Sam decided to play some pool. Andy stayed at the table with the others, she was comfortable with them. ''So Andy,'' Jerry started. ''How did you ran into our boy?'' _

''_Actually we met when the place I work in got robbed. I hit the guy on his head with a vase and Sam and Oliver came to arrest him. After that Sam came to buy coffee a few times and we talked, you know.'' Andy decided to go with the short version. She knew Sam was a private guy and he probably didn't share everything with his friends either. _

''_You hit the robber?'' Frank asked. ''That takes some guts, you could have been hurt.'' _

_Andy shrugged and glanced over at Sam. ''I know, I just did what I thought was right. Guess it all turned out okay. Besides, the guy had a gun and I couldn't tell if it was real. I didn't want to risk him hurting anybody else.''_

_At the other side of the bar, Sam was watching Andy. He wanted to make sure she was comfortable with his friends. He didn't want her to worry about it, but he actually was kind of nervous to know how they felt about her. It wouldn't change how he felt, but it would be nice if they liked her. _

''_Sammy, you're up,'' Oliver said to him. Sam quickly made a few shots and turned his gaze back to Andy. ''She's still there. Jerry didn't scare her away yet,'' Oliver filled in._

''_Ass,'' Sam muttered under his breath. _

''_You know, I never thought I would live to see the day,'' Oliver continued. ''Sam Swarek hung up on a girl.'' _

''_I am not..'' Sam tried, but Oliver already cut him off before he was able to finish. _

''_You are totally hung up on her, you keep looking in her direction every ten seconds.'' _

''_Just want to make sure she's alright,'' Sam defended himself. ''You know how Jerry can be.''_

''_Jerry knows she's important to you, he'll behave. Besides, Noelle will keep him in check. You know that just as well as I do.'' Oliver was happy for his friend. Sam never seemed like the type to every settle down, but lately he had changed. He hadn't even been to the Penny in a week. ''You know, I like her,'' Oliver said. _

''_Yeah?'' Sam asked. ''No 'she's too young for you' speech?'' _

''_No,'' Oliver said without hesitation. ''She's old enough to make her own decisions and she seems happy where she is. I know you are happy with her, so great.'' _

_Sam tried to stop his lips from curling up, but he failed. It was only a little twitch, but he definitely showed that he was happy with his friends approval. When they finished their game, Oliver and Sam made their way back to the table. Sam stood behind Andy and she let herself fall back against his chest a little. _

_When nobody was watching, Sam moved his lips to Andy's ear. ''You having fun?'' he whispered. _

_Andy turned around and gave Sam a smile. She nodded and squeezed his hand. They stayed for a little while longer. Sam sat down next to Jerry and they talked about an upcoming poker night. Andy talked to Oliver about his kids while Frank and Noelle moved to the bar. _

_When Andy was ready to leave, Sam was already standing up. ''Andy, you want to go home?'' Sam asked. Andy nodded and said her goodbyes to Sam's friends. When they were outside the bar, Sam took her hand in his. ''So,'' Sam started. ''How bad was it on a scale from one to ten.'' _

_Andy chuckled and laid her head on his shoulder. ''It wasn't bad at all,'' she admitted. ''Noelle seems nice, sort of hard to read though. Frank was a little distant, but he was that way to all of you. Jerry was nice, didn't really think he liked me though. I really liked Oliver, he's a good guy.'' _

''_He is,'' Sam agreed. ''If anything is ever up and you can't reach me, call him. He's probably one of the most loyal guys you'll ever meet.'' Sam was silent for a while and continued. ''Jerry does like you, he just went through a crappy divorce and I think he's a little bumped I don't want to be his wingman or something.'' _

''_Sucks,'' Andy softly said. ''Was his wife nice?''_

''_Nope,'' Sam immediately answered. ''Never liked her. We all saw the divorce coming before they even finished their vows.'' _

_Andy removed her head from Sam's shoulders and looked at him. ''You told him that?'' _

_Sam sighed and shrugged his shoulders. ''I asked him if he was sure of her, he said he was. When he asked me what I thought, I was honest.'' _

''_How did he take that?'' Andy asked. She knew guys were easier, but she would really hate it if her best friend didn't support her marriage. _

''_I guess he already knew,'' Sam answered. ''It wasn't really a secret. Jerry is my best friend, but we disagree about a lot of things. That's fine as long as you can respect each other's choices.'' _

_When they reached the truck, Sam let go of Andy's hand. He pressed his lips to hers in a sweet kiss and smiled when they broke apart. ''You happy you got to meet them?'' he asked. _

''_Yeah, it was good,'' Andy promised. _

XX

Their date was fine. From time to time things got a little uncomfortable, but both of them enjoyed being around the other again. They both tried hard to avoid talking about the year they spent apart.

By the time they finished dessert, Sam insisted he got the bill.

''You ready to get out of here?'' he asked when he had paid.

Andy looked up to him and nodded. ''Yeah, totally,'' she answered. She hoped he would invite her over or that he would invite himself up to her place. Her place probably was the better option, his place was filled with memories of the two of them.

Silence washed over them once again when they reached the truck. Andy watched how Sam drove her to her place. A small smile formed on her lips, she was happy. Things weren't perfect and she probably had to show to Sam that she was all in, but at least he was in her life again.

''What?'' Sam asked. When Andy raised her eyebrows, Sam chuckled. ''Don't forget I know you McNally, you've got something on your mind.''

''It's nothing,'' Andy promised. ''I'm just really happy that you are willing to give me another chance. I know I maybe don't deserve it, but I'm really happy you are willing to try.''

Sam swallowed and nodded. ''Look Andy, we've been over this, okay? You shouldn't have left, but I shouldn't have let you leave that easily.'' Sam switched gears and put his hand on Andy's thigh. ''I missed you,'' he softly added.

Andy blinked a few times. Sam saying this, that meant something. Sam almost never said anything about his feelings. Even when they were together she practically had to force him to tell her what he was thinking. ''I missed you too,'' she quickly said. ''So much.''

Sam squeezed her thigh and put his hand on the steering wheel again. After a fifteen minute drive they reached her apartment. Andy unbuckled and looked at Sam. ''Do you maybe..'' she nodded towards her building. ''You want to come up with me?''

Sam looked her in the eye and had an internal debate. He wanted to, of course he wanted it. Still, they were just figuring out who they were this time around. Just three days ago they weren't even comfortable around each other, even now things were still a little tense.

''For a drink?'' Andy tried. ''You don't have to, of course, but I'd like it.''

''Yeah,'' Sam swallowed a lump away. ''Sure, let's go McNally.''

Andy sighed, hating the fact that he almost never called her Andy anymore. It was like there was a wall between them. She wanted nothing more than for that wall to tumble down, but she didn't know how to break it.

Deciding she should take what she could get, Andy got out of the truck and waited until Sam was by her side. They walked up the stairs together, when they reached her apartment Andy immediately went to get two beers.

They settled on her couch together. Sam was tapping his fingers on the inside of his thigh. He looked around the apartment. Andy sat next to him, her head tipped to the side. She was trying to follow Sam's eyes, but she had no idea what he was really doing.

After a minute of awkwardness, Andy took the remote control and flipped on her TV. They watched some lame sitcom and after ten minutes, Andy put her head on Sam's shoulder.

Sam waited for a minute, but then put his arm around Andy. He turned his head to press his lips against the top of her head. Andy couldn't help but smile after that small gesture. She leaned up and kissed Sam's cheek. After that she moved down and kissed his neck.

Sam turned his head and cupped her cheek with one hand. He lifted her head up and crashed his mouth to hers. He tried to keep the kiss innocent, but when Andy traced his bottom lip with her tongue, Sam couldn't help himself. He deepened the kiss and put his hand on her waist.

Gently Sam pulled Andy towards him. Andy got the hint and got on her knees. She lifted on leg over his legs so she was straddling him. Their mouths were glued together, it was like they had to get familiar with each other all over again.

Andy put her hand on Sam's chest and let her hand travel south. When she reached the hem of his shirt, she bunched it up. She let both of her hands roam over his chest. His arms and chest always were Andy's favorite parts of him. She loved the muscles there.

The need for air became too big, so they had to let go of each other for a moment. They stared in each other's eyes and Andy moved one of her hands from under Sam's shirt. She traced his jaw line with her finger and then put her hands in his hair. Sam moved towards her again and placed small kisses on her neck. He bit down on her earlobe and gently tugged it. When he traced the shell of her ear with his tongue, a small moan escaped Andy's mouth.

Andy moved her hips forward. She needed some friction, but Sam held her hips. Andy let out a frustrated whine and kissed him again. Sam's hands moved under her dress, he traced her thighs with his hands and gently squeezed her rear.

Andy moved an inch forward when she saw the opportunity. Right on that moment Sam removed his lips from hers. He gave her one last sweet kiss and nudged her nose with his. ''We should really stop,'' he softly told her.

''Why?'' Andy asked frustrated. ''I want you.''

Sam closed his eyes, it was hard enough to let her go like this again. Yesterday they were in a very similar position. It took all his self control to let her go that time. Right now it was best for both of them if he went home, at least, that was what he was trying to tell himself. ''Sweetheart, it's just best if we take it slow.''

''Slow?'' Andy asked. ''We've already slept with each other hundreds of times.''

Sam had to close his eyes when she said that. Her statement didn't really help getting himself in check. ''I don't want to hurt you,'' he whispered to her.

''You won't,'' Andy promised. ''You couldn't.''

''It's not that,'' Sam said. ''We've been apart for a long time Andy. We don't know if this thing between us still works.''

Andy clenched her jaw, she knew he was right. It still hurt to hear though. Every part of her wanted things to go back to the way they were, but it wasn't that simple and she knew it. ''I want it to work,'' she stated. ''It will work.''

Sam gently kissed her cheek and held her close. ''We'll deal with it,'' he promised. ''But we should take things slow.''

''Can you..'' Andy shut her mouth and shook her head.

''What?'' Sam asked. ''Hey, tell me.''

''Can you stay the night?'' Andy asked. When she felt Sam's answer would be no, she spoke up again. ''Just sleep?'' she asked again. ''I just want to lay down with you.''

Sam was pretty sure he would never deny her anything if she looked at him like that. He moved his hand through her hair and nodded. ''Yeah, okay,'' he agreed.

Together they turned off all the lights in the apartment. Andy went into the bedroom to get ready for bed. When she was make-up free she walked back into the bedroom. Sam was sitting on the edge of her bed in his boxers. ''There's a new toothbrush in there,'' Andy informed him. ''I got it yesterday, so brand new.''

''Okay,'' Sam said before standing up. Unlike Andy he was done in five minutes in the bathroom. When he came out she was standing next to the bed brushing her hair. She smiled at him and Sam swore she was the most beautiful creature he ever laid eyes on. When they were separated he tried to tell himself he wasn't that crazy about her.

_He mostly failed doing that._

Andy was wearing boy shorts and a tank top. She shyly smiled at him and got under the covers. Sam hesitated for a moment and looked at her. ''You want me to put a shirt on?'' he asked.

Andy chuckled and shook her head. ''I'd actually prefer it if you didn't,'' she responded.

Sam got into bed and laid down on his side, facing her. He stroked her cheek and held one of her hands in his. Andy moved forward so she could kiss him again. The kiss was simple and innocent, but she was content with it.

Both of them were silent, just staring at each other. After a while Sam moved to his back. Andy moved a little closer and put her head on his shoulder with a hand on his chest. ''Do you think we're able to work things out?'' she asked. ''I mean, do you think we're able to go back to where we were?''

''No,'' Sam answered truthfully, he felt Andy tense immediately. ''We both went through a lot of crap,'' he confessed. ''We're not the same people anymore. Things won't ever go back to the way they were. But, maybe we've both grown. Maybe we'll be able to be better this time.''

''You think that's possible?''

''I hope so,'' Sam answered.

XX

_Okay, super unsure about this chapter. Not sure it's really in character, but I'm dealing with a major writers block. _

_I completely ran out of ideas for flashbacks, so if anybody has another scene they'd like to read: tell me about it. _

_Please review!_


	13. Chapter 13

_**I think we're nearing the end of this story, but I'm not too sure. I'll see what else I can come up with, but I think the big story has been told. **_

_**A couple of reviewers mentioned I could drop the flashbacks, since it's all about moving forward now. I actually like that idea, so no more flashbacks. Just looking at the future now!**_

_**Thank you for the continuing support on this story, I never thought I would be able to write a story that get's so many reviews. Sometimes I'm still a little insecure about my English, but judging from your reviews it isn't too terrible... **__  
XX_

''Nothing happened?'' Traci asked Andy, not quit believing what her best friend was saying.

''Well, we made out and slept in the same bed. But yeah, that was all.'' Andy shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the bench before her locker. ''I don't know, I guess I can see where he is coming from. Still, it was a little frustrating.''

Traci chuckled and winked at Andy. ''Yeah, I guess I can understand that.''

''Chop chop ladies, you'll be late for parade,'' Gail said when she opened the door to the locker room. She had already been ready for more than ten minutes, but her colleagues always required a little bit more time to get ready.

Andy sighed and stood up. ''Better get going.''

Andy had to walk past Sam to get to her usual seat. Sam was in the back of the parade room and brushed his hand against hers when she past. Andy sighed and tried to compose herself. She didn't hear one word Best said during parade. All she could think about was how good it felt to have Sam back in her life.

Nothing was perfect yet, they still had a million things they needed to talk about. People would judge and they would probably fight from time to time, but Andy was determined on making it work. In all the time they've spent apart, she never found anybody she could picture herself with. Every time she thought about the future, she saw Sam's face. She understood that Sam needed some time and wanted to give her the same, but her entire body craved him.

''McNally,'' Oliver's voice pulled her from her thoughts. ''Any time you are ready.''

Andy realised she missed the ending of parade, but apparently she was partnered with Oliver. ''Sorry sir,'' she muttered when she passed him. She quickly got him and herself a coffee and joined him at the cruiser.

''You okay McNally?'' Oliver asked slightly concerned. Oliver was like an uncle to the rookies, his dad instincts made him watch over all of them. Everybody in the division knew that Oliver was by far the most involved training officer.

''Yeah fine, sorry.'' Andy got into the cruiser and took a deep breath. She needed to focus.

XX

''Peck,'' Sam said as he moved past her. He tossed her the car keys and nodded. ''You're driving today.''

Gail's head snapped up and a smile formed on her lips. ''Really sir?'' she asked. One of the worst things about being trained by Swarek was that you were never allowed to drive. Ever. Gail eyed him suspiciously. He didn't look like he had a hangover. ''You okay sir?'' she asked.

''I'm good Peck, just thought it was time to see if you can handle driving.'' Sam hated sitting shot gun, but it was true. He needed to see if she was okay racing to scenes. He was in a good mood today, so he might as well let her drive.

When the end of shift arrived, Gail joined Andy and Traci in the locker room. ''Andy just a heads up, Swarek is sleeping with someone.''

Andy's eyes widened and her mouth felt dry all of the sudden. ''What?'' she managed to get out.

''He let me drive, obviously he worked out some stress last night.'' Gail shrugged her shoulders and looked at Andy. ''I'm sorry, just thought you should know.''

For someone who was apologizing, Gail didn't look to apologetic, but Andy knew that was all part of the _'Gail peck self defence method'. _When she had first met Gail, she thought the girl was an absolute bitch. Now she considered her a friend. Even if Gail could be way out of line and bitchy from time to time, Andy knew it was all an act.

Traci snorted and closed her locker. ''Maybe his favorite team won last night or maybe he just had a good night of sleep,'' she filled in. ''There are more reasons to be in a good mood Gail.''

''You do realise he's a guy, right?'' Gail asked. All of the sudden she looked a little more serious and turned her attention to Andy. ''I know you still care about him, okay? So just know that maybe something is happening in his life and prepare yourself.''

Andy knew she should maybe tell Gail that Sam was with her last night, but they hadn't talked about things. Maybe Sam wanted to keep things a secret for a while, maybe Sam wasn't even that serious about this new attempt to make it work. Andy's mind was running wild and she settled for acting oblivious. ''I'm prepared.''

When Andy was on her way home, she heard someone following her. A car was driving behind her very slowly. It was dark and there wasn't anybody on the street, Andy wasn't scared, but also not completely comfortable. When the car made some more noise, Andy took a deep breath and turned around. She smiled when she saw the big silver truck. ''Hey,'' she said.

She hadn't seen Sam all day. Of course she saw him when she woke up, but he left shortly after that and they hadn't seen each other at work much. ''Hey,'' Sam said. ''Want to have dinner?''

Andy smiled and nodded. ''Yeah, sure.'' She hadn't expected him to ask her to dinner again today, but she was really happy he did.

Sam drove to a Chinese restaurant and picked up dinner. After that he drove to Andy's apartment. Andy wondered if he had something against taking her back to his place. Of course there were memories there, but she loved that house. Sam didn't say anything, so Andy decided not to bring it up.

They walked upstairs together and Andy pulled out plates to put the food on. They made small talk about their day and ate together.

When the dishes were done, Andy started fidgeting with her hands. Not being able to know where Sam's head was, that was foreign to her. Of course he was never an easy guy to read, but when they were living together, she could at least tell what was up with him most of the time.

Right now she had no idea.

Sam just stood in the kitchen looking at her. His gaze made Andy slightly uncomfortable. It felt like this was the moment he would tell her that this was all one big mistake. Andy looked down to the ground.

Sam sensed her insecurity and took a step forward. They were toe to toe when he cupped her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. He brushed his nose against hers when the kiss ended and placed a small kiss on her forehead. ''Come on,'' he said when he tugged on her arm.

She let him lead her to the living room. He turned on the TV and sat down on the couch, pulling her down with him. Soon Andy's head was on Sam's shoulder and his arm was around her. It was comfortable and at the same time it was really not.

Sam seemed to be completely comfortable, his gaze on the TV and his hand tracing patterns on her arm. The wheels in Andy's head were doing overtime right now. She had no idea what he wanted and what this thing between them was.

She didn't ask though. Right now she would take him anyway she could have him. Even if that meant that things between them would be casual. A voice inside her head screamed that Sam and her could never be casual. There was too much past and too much heartache between them.

Still, she wasn't about to jinx things. For now she was comfortable with having him in her life again, slowly finding their way towards each other.

At least, she hoped that that was what they were doing.

''What's up?'' Sam asked. His hand stopped moving across her arm and he moved back so he could look at her.

''What?'' Andy asked back. ''Nothing, I'm fine. Why?'' She hated that he was still able to read her. She didn't even do anything and he knew that something was up.

''I can practically hear your mind going wild,'' Sam said with a smirk. ''What's wrong McNally?''

''Why do you never call me Andy?''

Sam chuckled and sat back some more. The expression on his face told her he thought she was acting crazy, but she didn't care right now. ''Why do you never call me Andy?'' she asked again. He had told her he called her McNally to keep some distance between the two of them. Right now that wasn't necessary anymore. At least, she didn't think so.

''I've always called you McNally..'' Sam said with a weird look.

At that moment Andy hated herself for even bringing it up. She and her stupid mouth always had to ruin every little thing. ''Nothing,'' she tried again. ''Sorry.''

Sam sensed that she didn't want to talk anymore, so he just sat back again and focused on the TV. After a few minutes he pressed a kiss to Andy's hair. She smiled, that was the confirmation she needed. She knew she was being an idiot, but she really did not want to get her hopes up. If things wouldn't work out this time, she would be crushed.

An hour later, Sam walked towards the kitchen. Andy was standing by the counter, rinsing a few cups. Sam grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards him.

Andy let out a shriek and dropped a cup in the water. She turned around and met Sam's eyes. Inside of his eyes was everything she needed. He still looked at her like she was the most precious thing that ever walked into his life. No matter what happened between them, at least that was still there.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek. She laid her head down on his shoulder and took a deep breath.

''You know I care about you, right?'' Sam asked her.

Andy had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, of course he knew what she had been thinking. ''I know I hurt you,'' she answered. ''I know I've got a lot to make up for.''

''Don't,'' Sam interrupted. ''Seriously, if we want this to work, we've got to stop apologizing. What happened is in the past and we're here now. Clean slate.''

Andy slowly nodded and looked him in the eye again. Sam let his thumb run over her lips and moved his hand to her cheek. He slowly leaned in and kissed her more gentle than ever before. As if she would break if he made a wrong move.

They stood like that for a few moments, both getting lost in the kiss. Sam thrust his tongue inside her mouth and Andy let out a small moan. Things became more frenzied very quickly and before she knew it Sam had boosted her up on the counter.

His hands were under her shirt and his shirt was on her kitchen floor. Andy didn't know what happened to taking things slow, but she wasn't complaining. As long as he kept doing what he was doing right now, she wouldn't ever complain again.

Sam's mouth was on her collar bone and made its way up to her neck. He licked a spot on her throat that always made her crazy. Andy grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth to hers again. She let her hands wonder over his shoulders, back and chest. She couldn't get enough of him and never wanted this moment to stop.

Sam's hands moved to cup her ass and he gently squeezed it. He grabbed both of Andy's legs and guided them around his waist. After that he pulled her off the counter and carried her towards her bedroom.

He laid her down on the bed and crawled over her. Slowly Sam lifted up the material of her shirt and placed kisses on her stomach. He propped himself up on one elbow and Andy moved up so she could get rid of her shirt. As soon as the shirt was out of their way, Sam attached his mouth to hers again.

He tried to slow down, but he couldn't. He wanted her more than he ever wanted anybody else in his life. He still wanted to take his time with her. He wanted to get to know her body all over again.

Andy let out a soft moan when Sam thrust his hips forward. Even through the layers of denim his body felt amazing against hers.

Sam took one more moment and kept his face inches from hers. ''You absolutely sure?'' he asked. When she nodded he had all the confirmation he needed.

XX

They laid with their limbs entangled. Their foreheads were pressed together and Sam's hand was running up and down Andy's bare back.

''You okay?'' he asked. He didn't plan for this to happen, but he couldn't stop himself. He didn't feel guilty about it either. Andy had told him that she was ready on more than one occasion.

''Perfect,'' Andy sighed. She kissed Sam's lips and cuddled closer to him. And it was true, everything had been absolutely perfect. There hadn't been a moment where she doubted if they were doing the right thing. There wasn't a moment where she felt unsafe or scared.

It was Sam, it was perfect.

Sam kissed her temple and went back to tracing patterns on her skin. His heartbeat was slowly returning back to normal. He cleared his throat and swallowed heavily. ''I missed you,'' he admitted. Talking about feelings wasn't his thing, but he felt like he should give her something. Something to tell her he isn't just screwing around here.

''I missed you too,'' Andy replied softly. She didn't just physically miss him. Of course that was part of it too, but mostly she just missed him. She missed her best friend. Sam always was her voice of reason, the one she went to with all of her problems.

''You should try to get some sleep,'' Sam said before he kissed her one more time. ''You've got an early morning tomorrow.''

Andy let out a yawn and knew that he was right. ''Yeah, I'm tired. You worn me out,'' she teased.

Sam smiled. ''Didn't hear you complaining.''

''Never,'' Andy said before she yawned again and closed her eyes.

When Andy woke the next morning, she was alone. She woke up slightly confused, she wasn't wearing any clothes. Then the memories of last night came flooding back. Sam had been amazing and she felt her stomach do a weird flutter thing while she thought about it.

She sat up and tried to listen for any signs of him in her apartment, but there weren't any. With a frown she threw the covers off herself and walked towards the bathroom. There was nobody there so she continued her search through her small apartment.

When she reached the kitchen she saw a note on the counter. She quickly grabbed the note and read what was on it.

_Needed to leave, will explain later. Didn't want to wake you up, but I'll call you when I can.  
Sam_

Andy was immediately worried. What if something bad had happened? She didn't even hear him leave, but she had always been a heavy sleeper. She grabbed her cell phone and called his number, but it went straight to voicemail.

After that Andy called Traci who did pick up on the third ring. ''_Hey,'' _Traci started. ''_You need a ride to the station?'' _

''Is Jerry with you?'' Andy asked, not bothering with a hello.

''_Yeah, are you okay?'' _Traci asked concerned.

Andy thought that Sam maybe would have gone and seen Jerry. He used to do that more often she recalled. Sometimes Jerry needed help with a case and despite the fact that Sam wasn't a detective, he always had a good eye for special cases.

''Yeah, sorry to bother you. Never mind.'' Andy really didn't want to come off as a controlling or obsessed girlfriend. She wasn't even sure she could call herself that already.

''_Andy, you sure you're okay?'' _ Traci tried again. ''_You want me to come and pick you up?'' _

''No, I'll walk. Seriously, I'm fine Traci.'' Andy ended the phone call and told herself not to worry. There must be a reasonable explanation for why Sam left like that.

When she reached the barn, a million options had run through Andy's head. She wasn't someone who needed to be courted, but she felt a little cheap being left like that.

She walked into the locker room and tried to avoid Traci's concerned look. ''You look pale,'' Traci started. ''Are you sick?''

Andy realised she hadn't even eaten anything yet and noticed she was feeling a little dizzy. ''Didn't eat yet,'' she explained.

Traci immediately started trashing through her locker and held out a few cookies. ''Here, better than nothing.''

When Andy reluctantly took the cookies and took a bite, she looked at Traci. Their side of the locker room was empty and all the other officers were to deep in conversation to notice them. ''I slept with Sam last night.''

''What?'' Traci yelled. '"What happened to taking things slow and getting to know each other again?''

''I don't know?'' Andy threw her hands up. ''We had dinner at my place and then it just sort of happened.''

''Okay, well.. that's not a bad thing, is it?'' Traci asked. ''Was it good?''

''Traci,'' Andy warned, not really comfortable with this conversation. When Traci raised an eyebrow Andy slammed her locker closed. ''Yeah, okay? It was amazing.''

''I'm happy for you,'' Traci said smiling.

''And then I wake up this morning, all alone,'' Andy said obviously disappointed.

''What?'' Traci yelled again. ''Where did he go?''

''I don't know,'' Andy replied. ''He left a note, something about an emergency and he'll call me. I tried calling him, but he's not answering his phone.''

Traci sat down on the bench again and scratched her nose. ''Okay, so maybe he just got a phone call and needed to leave?''

''Yeah, probably,'' Andy said. ''Or he realised he made a big mistake and he's going to let me down easy,'' she filled in the rest of her thoughts.

''Come on,'' Traci said. ''He's not a teenager anymore and I think the two of you know each other well enough to know that's not true.''

''I don't know,'' Andy softly said. ''Guess I'll find out soon enough.''

XX

She didn't find out though, because Sam wasn't even at work. Frank didn't even mention him in parade and when Oliver asked where Sam was, Frank dismissed his question. Apparently Sam had taken a personal day.

Traci shot Andy an apologetic look and disappeared to the D's office where she was assigned to. Andy stood up and walked towards Oliver and couldn't help but overhear Oliver's conversation with another senior officer.

''Wouldn't be surprised if Sammy's back undercover,'' Oliver said.

''Guy lives for guns and gangs,'' was the simple reply of the other officer.

Andy felt her eyes fill with tears and closed her eyes to keep them from falling. After a few deep breaths she felt steady enough. She walked towards the coffee station and poured two cups of coffee.

Oliver was already inside the cruiser when she joined him and he took the coffee from her. ''We've already got a call, gonna be a busy day McNally,'' Oliver informed her.

''Good,'' Andy said and she tried to focus on her job.

XX

By lunchtime Oliver was seriously concerned about his rookie. She didn't chat his ears of like she normally would, she was silent and looked like she was working through something. ''Everything okay McNally?'' Oliver asked his rookie, just to be sure.

''I'm fine,'' Andy answered. ''Just a headache.'' Obviously Sam hadn't mentioned the fact that they were trying again to Oliver. If he had, Oliver would understand her behaviour. Andy couldn't imagine Sam going off undercover after everything that happened, but maybe he wasn't the guy she knew anymore. Realisation dawned on her that they did jump into this.

Maybe he changed.

She hoped he didn't go undercover, she wasn't sure how she would handle it if he did. And if he did went undercover, he would have told her, right? Even though it's probably against the rules, Sam would have found a way to let her know.

The radio brought her back to reality and Andy responded that they would go to the scene. Work kept her distracted, so she was very thankful for it.

XX

Sam had been asleep when he heard his phone ring in the living room. Andy didn't even stir, but Sam was wide awake immediately. He always woke up with every little noise, years of training did that to him. With a quick glance over Andy's form he got out of bed. If somebody tried to get a hold of him at four am, it probably would be urgent.

''Hello?'' Sam answered. He didn't recognize the number that was calling him.

''_Sam?'' _Sam heard the voice of his brother in law Will. ''_Sam, you need to come down here.'' _

Sam immediately went looking for his shirt and jeans. If Will called him there probably was something urgent going on. He liked Will, he was good for Sarah, but he wasn't friends with the guy.

''What's wrong?'' Sam asked. ''Something wrong with Sarah?''

''_She locked herself and she won't let me in,'' _Will explained. _''I don't know what happened, everything was fine this morning we had a sonogram.''_

''Was the baby okay?'' Sam asked. He knew it took very little to upset his sister. So if something big happened, if something happened to her child, she would completely lose it.

''_It was perfect, ten fingers, ten toes and now Sarah won't even talk to me, but she's having a panic attack.'' _Will sounded very upset and Sam could only imagine how he must feel. Growing up, Sam had spent numerous nights calming down Sarah. Sometimes it only took someone looking at her funny for her to lose it.

Things got better and by the time that Sarah moved to St. Catherines, Sam knew she would be okay on her own. It had happened before that she had a panic attack and needed Sam to calm her, but that was a long time ago. ''Just don't touch her if she does let you in,'' Sam explained. ''I'm on my way.''

Sam took a few seconds to debate waking up Andy. She would probably have a million questions and he didn't have time for that. She was asleep now and probably needed to get some more, so he decided to let her sleep. He wrote a quick note and grabbed the keys to his truck. He needed to go.

By breaking every speed limit that was ever invented, Sam made it to St. Catherines in record time. He knew he was breaking the law, but he also knew he was an excellent driver. If someone pulled him over he wasn't above flashing his badge. If his sister needed him, he would be there.

Will seemed relieved that Sam was finally there, he opened the door and let Sam in. ''She's still upstairs,'' Will said. ''I don't know what to do, I mean I could bust the door, but I don't know if that would upset her even more. I mean, what if she gets scared of me?'' Will was rambling now and Sam put a hand on his shoulder to silence him.

''You did the right thing by calling me,'' Sam tried. ''I'll go talk to her and it will be okay.'' With that Sam moved upstairs. He first knocked on the bedroom door and made sure his voice was calm. ''Sarah? It's me, Sam. Can you please open the door for me?''

When he didn't hear any noise, Sam tried one more time. ''Sarah, I've got my lock picks with me and I'll use them.'' It was true, Sam always kept a set of lock picks in his truck. He didn't really know why, but right now he was thankful that he did.

Sarah didn't answer again, so Sam went to work on the lock. The lock wasn't much, so after just a few picks the door opened. Sam slowly walked in and closed the door again. He saw his big sister lying on her bed, she was on his side and her breathing told him she was still panicking. ''It's just me,'' Sam softly said. ''Will is still downstairs so it's just you and me.''

Sam knew better than to touch his sister when she was like this. He lowered himself to Will's side of the bed and sat down next to Sarah. ''Just breath with me,'' Sam said. ''In through your nose and out through your mouth, you can do it.''

Sam kept talking to her, telling her that everything would be okay. Praising her for doing do good on taking slow breaths and when he felt that she calmed enough, he gently pushed a strand of hair from her face. Sarah tensed for a moment, but then relaxed again. She moved to lie on her back and started crying.

Sam recognised this as an upset cry, she wasn't panicking anymore. He moved off the bed and walked over to Sarah's side. He pulled her into a sitting position and pulled her in for a hug. The Swarek's weren't exactly affectionate, but when Sarah was crying she always needed arms around her to make her feel safe. If that would help, Sam would happily oblige.

After about thirty minutes Sarah calmed again. She sniffed one more time and laid her head back on her pillow. ''I'm exhausted,'' she said.

''I know,'' Sam answered. She always was exhausted after a panic attack. ''What happened?''

''It's a girl,'' Sarah said. ''The baby.''

Sam smiled and looked Sarah in the eye. ''Okay, how do you feel about that?''

''What if I can't protect her?'' Sarah asked. If there were any tears left she would have started crying again, but she was too exhausted to even lift her own head. ''What if something happens to her.''

All of the sudden everything fell into place for Sam. Of course she was hoping for a boy. In her world girls were a risk of getting hurt. ''You'll be there for her,'' Sam softly said. ''Will will be there for her too and if anybody ever tries to hurt her, I'll find them and do a whole lot worse to them.''

''We can't protect her from everything,'' Sarah sadly frowned. ''One day she'll walk home late and there will be hundreds of people out there that are willing to hurt her. And then her life will be ruined.''

''I can't promise that nothing will ever happen to her.'' Sam decided honesty would be the best policy, Sarah wasn't stupid. ''I can promise you that her life will be so different than yours.''

''How can you be so sure?'' Sarah's voice was filled with uncertainty. ''It was so stupid, I shouldn't be pregnant. I couldn't protect myself and I'll fail protecting my baby.''

''No,'' Sam said. ''You will be the best mom ever because you know exactly how you shouldn't be as a parent. And I promise you that there will be a lot of people that agree with me on that. And if there are moments where you aren't strong enough to be there for her, she's got Will.'' Sam took a deep breath and exhaled again. ''And she's got me, this baby is going to be very loved Sarah. She's already got a different start then you had.''

''My blood pressure was too high,'' Sarah changed the subject. ''They told me to keep calm, stress isn't good for the baby. What do I do? I spent a few hours working my blood pressure up even more.''

''That's not your fault.'' Sam tried. ''You can't control your thoughts. We'll take you back to the doctor tomorrow, maybe she can prescribe you something.''

''No medicine, no more therapy and no more talking,'' Sarah angrily said.

''It worked before,'' Sam responded. ''And if it's best for my niece, you'll do it and you know it.''

Sarah closed her eyes and nodded. ''Yes.''

They talked quietly for fifteen more minutes. Sarah decided it was time to put Will out of his misery and told Sam to go check on him. Sam slowly walked downstairs and found Will pacing in the living room.

''She's fine,'' Sam said. ''She'll be down in a minute, she just wanted to clean herself up a little.''

''What happened?'' Will asked concerned. ''Is she okay? Is the baby okay?''

''They're both fine, just talk to her later not tonight.'' Sam sat down on the couch and checked his watch. Andy probably found his note by now and was wondering where he was. He probably should have woken her up, she might get the wrong idea like this.

When Sarah joined them he pushed those thoughts aside. He would deal with Andy later, he would explain and she would understand. They all sat together in the living room, Will kept shooting Sarah worried glances and she asked him to come with her for a moment.

While they were gone Sam closed his eyes for a moment. He had texted Frank he couldn't make it today when he was on his way to St. Catherines. Now he should probably call Andy to explain. When he grabbed his cell phone he noticed his battery died. With a sigh he dropped the phone on the coffee table. Andy changed her number and he didn't know her new one by heart, so he would just have to wait until he was back in Toronto.

Andy would be at work until late afternoon, so he might as well close his eyes for a moment here.

XX

When Andy walked up to her apartment she noticed the big silver truck standing in front of her building. She froze for a moment and saw Sam leaning against it. He had his eyes closed and was still wearing the same outfit she had so eagerly got him out of last night.

She tried to tell herself that she was pissed and ignored Sam. She walked towards the entrance of her building and stilled when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

''I'm sorry,'' Sam's voice told her.

''For what?'' Andy asked. She turned around and when Sam looked in her eye he knew that she was hurt. ''For sleeping with me or for leaving without a word.''

''I left a note,'' Sam defended himself.

''Thanks, I feel special.'' Andy opened the door and walked inside.

Sam didn't hesitate and followed her. ''Look, I probably should have woken you.''

''Probably?'' Andy asked frustrated. ''Do you know that there's a rumor going around that you're back undercover? I thought you just left.''

''I'm sorry, but I couldn't have known that Andy,'' Sam tried. ''I know I should have called, but my phone died.''

''Where did you go?'' Andy asked. ''It wasn't work related because nobody knew where you were and obviously you aren't undercover.''

''I wouldn't leave like that, you know that,'' Sam said getting mad now. ''Will called me that Sarah was having an attack and she needed me.''

Sam had told Andy all about Sarah's panic attacks when they were together before. ''I'm sorry,'' Andy apologized. ''Of course, you had to go if your sister needed you. Is she doing okay now?''

''Yeah, took her to the doctor this morning and she agreed that she would go and have at least a few therapy sessions.'' It had been a bit of a struggle, but Sarah understood that her well being influenced her baby now too.

''Good,'' Andy said. They reached her apartment and Andy slowly opened the door. When they were both inside Andy let out a deep breath. ''I was really worried about you,'' she told Sam.

''Sorry,'' Sam replied.

''I guess I have no right to be mad if I did pretty much the same thing to you, but even worse,'' Andy said sadly while she moved to look out of her window.

Sam walked over to her and stood behind her. ''That's in the past now.''

''Is it?'' Andy asked. ''What if it's something we can't get passed. I know you don't completely trust me yet and I get that, I do. And you were right before, we don't know each other that well anymore. This morning I even considered the fact that you slept with me as a way to get back at me or something.''

''Andy,'' Sam interrupted.

Andy put up her hand as a signal that she wasn't done yet. '"And I know that you are not like that. I know you are a good guy, but like you already tried to tell me: we've both changed.''

''Do you regret last night?'' Sam asked carefully.

''No,'' Andy immediately answered.

Relief washed through his body because he honestly couldn't have handled it if she wanted to take a step back now. If she regretted being with him then he would end up hating himself for not giving her more time to get used to the idea of them again. ''Then what?''

''I'm just scared that I'll mess it up,'' she admitted. ''I'm scared that one day you'll realize that I'm still that bitch that left you behind and that there's too much damage.''

''We already talked about this.'' Sam understood where she was coming from, but he knew he would never hate her.

''I guess I didn't get what you meant until now.'' Andy looked over the park that was in front of her building. Kids were playing careless and free and for a moment she wished she was seven again.

''Look,'' Sam started again. He waited until she faced him to finish his sentence. ''If there ever was a moment that I would hate you, it would be after you left, right?''

Andy slowly nodded and was hit with another strike of guilt.

''Yet I didn't hate you, never had never will,'' Sam explained himself. ''I can't promise you forever now, but I can promise you to try my hardest to make it work.''

''And if it doesn't?'' Andy asked.

Sam swallowed and shrugged his shoulders. ''I don't know. I just know that we owe ourselves another chance.''

Andy was happy that he didn't lie to her. He didn't try to make things better than they were. There still was a lot of work that needed to be done. There still was a lot of hurt that needed to be talked about. Right now wasn't the time for that though.

''Okay,'' she softly agreed. She walked over to Sam and closed her eyes while she rested her head against his chest. ''Next time wake me,'' she warned.

''I will,'' Sam said.

XX

**So, what do you think?**

**If you have any comments or suggestions regarding this story, please let me know.**

**All advice is welcome. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Here's the next chapter, hope you'll enjoy it!**

**XX**

Two weeks later Andy was finally beginning to feel comfortable around Sam. She was getting used to the fact that he was in her life again, but most importantly, she was beginning to make peace with everything that happened between them in the past. She knew she made mistakes, but so had he and even though she played the bigger part in it, if they wanted to go forward, she had to let go.

Andy was pulled from her dreams when she felt a hand creep under her shirt. Since they had gotten back together, they hadn't spent every night together. She hadn't been to their old house yet either. The nights they did spent together, they enjoyed each other to the fullest.

Last night Sam surprised Andy by dropping in with an offer to cook for her. Never one to turn down a home cooked meal, Andy happily agreed. Now it was the next morning and Sam obviously just woke up.

The biggest difference between the two of them was that Andy was an evening person. She hated getting up early and waking up in general. Sam on the other hand was always wide awake as soon as the alarm clock did his work.

And now, while Andy was still half unconscious, Sam was obviously trying to wake her from her sleep.

''Sam,'' Andy kicked her foot towards him. ''I'm sleeping.''

''No you're not.''

Andy could practically hear the grin in Sam's face. She was just about to protest again when she felt his hot breath under her ear. He kissed the skin there and moved the strap of her tank top out of the way when he wanted to kiss her shoulder. Andy sighed and rolled onto her back, meeting his lips in a lazy kiss. ''Why won't you let me sleep?'' she asked with her eyes closed. ''I really need it.''

''No you don't,'' Sam said again. ''Besides, we have the day off. We can sleep all day long if we want to.''

''Sounds like a plan to me,'' Andy replied. She giggled as she tried to move away from his grip. Sam pinned her down with his weight and placed his knee between her legs. ''You said I could sleep all day!'' Andy faintly protested.

''McNally,'' Sam warned. ''Believe me, you're not going to want to sleep now.''

''Why?'' Andy dared him. She smiled up to him and bit his jaw. ''You gonna blow my mind?''

''Actually,'' Sam began as he started peeling her tank top off. ''I am.''

''How are you going to do that?'' Andy asked innocently. The smile on her face fainted as she felt Sam kiss the place on her throat that was incredibly sensitive. She let out a small moan and fisted her hands in Sam's hair.

''Still want to go to sleep?'' Sam murmured against her skin.

''I don't know,'' Andy said, trying to sound nonchalant. ''Sleep is pretty important to me.''

Sam moved upwards and looked her in the eye. He kissed her left cheek, then her right cheek. ''McNally,'' he said. ''Shut up.'' After that he moved down and placed kisses over her stomach.

''Oh,'' Andy let out in a breath. She closed her eyes and got lost in the sensation of feelings that rushed through her.

XX

A while later Andy was lying on her side, her leg thrown over Sam's waist and her hand trailing through his chest hairs. She loved the fact that he was not being overly gentle with her anymore. The first few times they were together after everything that happened, he treated her like she could break any moment. This was also the first time he didn't ask if she was okay right afterwards.

Somehow things were returning back to normal. Well, as normal as things could be with them.

''I'm going to Sarah's tomorrow,'' Sam said out of the blue. ''She called yesterday and she needs some help setting up the nursery.

''Okay,'' Andy said. ''That's nice of you.''

Sam played with Andy's long hairs and let them fall back down. ''Yeah well, if you ever saw Will with a drill, you would know why she needs my help.''

Andy softly laughed and placed a kiss to his chest. ''You sure it's not the perfectionist inside of you that wants the nursery of your first niece to be perfect?''

Sam smiled and nodded. ''Sarah deserves the best.'' Sam cleared his throat and looked at Andy. ''She's doing good now, the panicking has stopped and she's talking to someone once a week.''

''Good,'' Andy replied. '' If it works for her than it's really good.''

''Yeah,'' Sam agreed. ''So, I was thinking.. maybe you want to come with me? You could maybe help me paint or something. I read somewhere that you can't be around paint fumes when you're pregnant. Maybe get Will and Sarah to leave and we'll fix the room together.''

''I think Sarah and Will would like to have some voice in this matter,'' Andy said. ''I mean, it is their baby after all. Knowing Sarah she probably knows exactly what she wants and how she wants it.''

''Yeah, you're right, but she still can't be around the fumes. So maybe you can keep her company?'' Sam suggested.

Andy swallowed and moved to sit up straight. She pulled the sheet with her so she was covered up. ''Sam,'' she began. ''I don't..'' she sighed. ''I mean.. she probably hates me and she really doesn't need more stress.''

''She doesn't hate you,'' Sam argued. ''If anything Sarah was always defending you.''

''How?'' Andy asked in disbelieve. She knew Sarah and she was crazy about her brother. Andy couldn't imagine her being protective over the girl that broke his heart.

''Well, maybe not defending, but when I came back from my undercover operation, I told her you worked at fifteenth. She kept telling me that you probably had a good reason for leaving. That you wouldn't have left like that unless there was something seriously wrong. She wanted me to talk to you and work things out, but I was too stubborn to take her advice.''

Andy was quiet after that and nodded. ''I want to come with you,'' she admitted. ''I guess I'm just a little tired of the judging stares.''

''What do you mean?'' Sam asked. He hadn't noticed anyone treating her badly and if he did he certainly would have done something about it.

''Nothing,'' Andy quickly brushed it off. ''Let's just lie her for a while, okay?'' Andy laid back down and put her head on Sam's chest. She let out a yawn and rubbed her eyes.

''What did you mean?'' Sam asked again. ''Did anybody say anything to you?''

Andy shook her head and took a deep breath. ''No,'' she answered. ''I'm probably just imagining things, don't worry.''

Sam decided to drop the issue and keep a closer watch at her at work. Not a lot of people knew they were back together again. He had told Frank to make sure she wouldn't get into trouble, Oliver had guessed on his own and that meant Jerry probably knew too. He knew Andy told Nash.

''I'll come with you, if you still want me too?'' Andy said after a while of silence. ''I want to.''

''Good,'' Sam smiled. He cupped her face and kissed her again. He slowly nudged her nose with his and moved away. When he heard his cell phone ring, he groaned.

Andy listened as Sam had his conversation. When he hung up he kissed her and threw the covers off himself. ''I have to go,'' he told her.

''Oh,'' Andy said slightly disappointed. She wanted to ask him where he needed to go, but she also didn't want to sound like the patronizing girlfriend. So she decided to just lie back down and look at him dress.

As soon as he was ready, he leaned in for one last kiss and left her alone. Andy closed her eyes for a moment and decided it would be a waste to spent the entire day in bed. She got out of bed and got ready for her day.

XX

The next morning Sam picked up Andy pretty early. He called her when he was in front of her building`, so Andy would come downstairs. When she reached the truck, Sam got out and grabbed her bag. He threw it in the back and pulled Andy towards him with one arm. ''Hey,'' he said when their lips were almost touching.

''Hey,'' Andy replied. ''How was your night?''

''Good,'' Sam answered. ''Took half of Jerry's paycheck, so that's always fun.''

''You would think he would have learned something by now.'' Andy smiled and got in the truck.

''You would think that, but no.'' Sam started the engine and started to drive. ''How was your night?''

''Fun,'' Andy replied. ''We went to Dov' and Chris' place, watched a few movies, ate pizza and gossiped about all the TO's.

''About how awesome we are?'' Sam smirked. ''Or handsome?''

''Well..'' Andy started. ''Dov definitely thinks you are all those things. It's possible he's going to propose to you one day.''

Sam coughed and shook his head. ''Doesn't he have a girlfriend?''

''No.'' Andy laughed at Sam's freaked out expression. ''Don't worry, I was kidding. But he is a big fan of you. I think Best made his entire year when he partnered the two of you last week.''

''Yeah,'' Sam said. ''That day was.. interesting.'' Sam hadn't been partnered with Epstein very often. That day Dov had been very eager to impress him, but he did not do a very good job. He actually tripped and fell when he was chasing a suspect. Because of that Sam spent an entire day chasing someone they could have caught already.

''Don't be too hard on him,'' Andy warned. ''He can go a little overboard, but he's a good guy.''

''I know,'' Sam agreed. As much as Epstein could annoy him, he did seem to be a good friend to Andy. Sam knew how close a group of rookie's could become, it was very clear that the group they had this year was no different.

During the ride to Sarah's place they talked about all sorts of things. Andy started to feel nervous as soon as they entered St. Catherines. Sam noticed her change in attitude and squeezed her knee. ''It's going to be okay,'' he promised.

''How do you know that?'' Andy asked. She wasn't entirely convinced about that. She knew Sarah and if she wanted, she could definitely be a hard ass. Andy started to feel like they jumped into this day too fast. They weren't even back together for that long.

''She has always loved you,'' Sam reasoned. ''And if anybody would understand your reasons, it's Sarah.''

Andy let out a deep breath and closed her eyes. ''You're right,'' she said. ''It will be okay.'' Andy thought back to the time when she saw Sarah at the station. Sarah treated her normal that time. Of course, Andy wasn't involved with her brother during that meeting.

''I'm always right,'' Sam joked.

Ten minutes later they were at Sarah's house. Andy took in the house and noticed that the house was a little different than the last time she had been there.

''I worked on the house a little,'' Sam explained. ''After I came back from my undercover I spent some time with them and Sarah thought it would be a good idea to put me to work.''

''It looks nice,'' Andy said. She always was impressed with Sam's work. He really knew his way around a tool box. ''Really beautiful.''

''Come on,'' Sam said as he got out of the truck. ''She's probably waiting already.''

Sam had called Sarah to tell her he would bring Andy. He would have preferred to just bring her along with no warning, but since Andy was so nervous he thought he'd better call first.

Just like he suspected, Sarah had a few questions, but wasn't judging immediately. Of course she had some questions, but Sam didn't answer them. He just told her to give Andy a break and give her a chance to explain herself. If she wanted to explain herself that is, because Sam felt like Andy didn't owe anybody an explanation. He knew she didn't like talking about what happened, so if she didn't want to he wouldn't put her through that again. As long as she was honest with him, they could handle it.

Sam took Andy's hand as soon as they were next to each other and led her towards the door. They didn't even have to knock because Sarah already opened the door. ''Hey,'' she greeted them. She gave Sam a kiss to the cheek and gave Andy a hand. ''Come on in.''

Andy felt slightly uncomfortable, but was calmer because Sam was so calm. She followed the two siblings inside and in the living room they greeted Will.

Once everybody was seated, Sarah went to the kitchen to make coffee. Once she returned everybody made small talk about work and life. Sarah would sometimes ask something to Andy, but the questions always stayed simple. Like: ''_Do you like it at fifteenth?'', ''Who's training you'' and ''What do you think about the weather?'' _

As soon as all the coffee was gone, Sam stood up. ''I think it's time we got some work done,'' he told Will. ''What do you need done?''

Sarah stood up too and placed a hand on her round stomach. ''Well, pretty much everything,'' she answered. ''Will did paint the walls already, but other than that we didn't do anything. You know how he is.''

Sarah's husband Will was a nice guy, but he wasn't exactly skilled when it came down to working with tools. ''So basically..'' Sarah started. ''Put together furniture, hang some stuff on the walls, you know..''

They all walked upstairs together and walked into the future nursery. The walls were painted in very light and natural colours. The rest of the room was filled with boxes. All the boxes were filled with parts for the crib, a closet and a changing table.

''Okay, you relax,'' Sam told Sarah. ''I'll show Will what to do and make sure he won't break anything.''

''Hey,'' Will protested.

Sam grinned and looked at his brother in law. ''We'll be fine,'' he promised Sarah.

Sarah turned around and faced Andy. ''How about we leave the boys alone?'' she asked. ''We could maybe look through some clothes Will's sister gave me. I don't know what's in there, so I want to make selection.''

''Sure,'' Andy said. She swallowed and nodded. She met Sam's eyes and he gave her a reassuring nod.

When they were downstairs again, Sarah grabbed a big box. ''It's a lot,'' she said. ''I didn't even know babies needed that much clothes.''

''Me neither,'' Andy answered. ''Congratulations by the way, I forgot to say that before.''

Sarah smiled and nodded. ''Thanks.'' After another minute of silence she spoke up again. ''You're nervous.'' It wasn't a question, she was just stating the facts.

''Sorry,'' Andy quickly said. ''I'm sorry.''

''Don't be,'' Sarah replied. ''Look, I don't know what happened between the two of you, but if Sam's willing to give it another chance than all I can do is hope it works out this time.''

Andy nodded and took a small t-shirt from the box. ''He didn't tell you what happened?''

Sarah smiled and shook her head. ''You know how he is,'' she answered. ''He told me that it wasn't his story to tell, that if you wanted me to know that you would tell me.''

''I should have known that,'' Andy said softly. ''He's a good guy.'' She shouldn't be surprised that Sam didn't tell anybody about what happened, not even his sister. He never did anything that could cross a line that she was uncomfortable with.

''Look,'' Sarah started. ''Of course I'm curious and of course I'm a little reluctant to be happy for him. He just disappeared after you left him, I didn't even know you guys broke up. And now you're back in his life and of course I wonder what cost the change in attitude.'' Sarah paused for a moment and looked at Andy. ''Sam's a grown man and I like to believe that he's a smart man too. He wouldn't get involved with you unless again unless you had a good reason to leave.''

''I don't know,'' Andy said. ''It seemed like a good reason at the time. Now I'm not so sure anymore.''

''There's no point in doubting it,'' Sarah reasoned. ''It happened and you can't do anything to change that.'' Sarah looked at the girl before her and noticed her inner debate. ''I'm not fishing,'' Sarah promised. ''If you want to tell me, you can. If you don't want to tell me, don't.''

Andy ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. ''I want to tell you because I want you to know that I didn't just leave for no reason. It's just not something I like talking about.''

''Then don't,'' Sarah easily said. ''You don't owe me anything.''

''I feel like I do,'' Andy truthfully answered. She swallowed a few times and looked at Sarah. ''Something happened at a party I was at. It was a party from Sam's work and Sam had to leave early..''

Sarah noticed Andy hesitation and decided to help the girl out. ''Something happened between you and someone else?'' She didn't think Andy was a cheater, but the girl was young and with the right amount of alcohol you never knew. Still, she didn't think Sam would take her back if she cheated on him.

Andy nodded and looked down at the cute onesie in her lap. ''But it wasn't...'' Andy looked at Sarah who was still looking calm as ever. ''I didn't..'' Andy swallowed and took a deep breath. ''I didn't cheat on him,'' she settled for. ''I thought I was helping a colleague of Sam out, a superior officer. He was really drunk so I thought I'd book him a room at the hotel the party was at. Apparently he wasn't as drunk as he led on because when we got to the room he was strong enough to fight me.''

''Oh,'' Sarah said. If there was one thing she understood it was this.

''I managed to fight him off before he could..'' Andy shook her head, not able to use the word rape in front of Sarah. ''But still, every time I closed my eyes I felt his hands and breath on me. I couldn't tell Sam and the next morning the guy came to our house. He threatened to destroy Sam's career if I ever told anybody.''

''Andy,'' Sarah said with sympathy. ''You know you could have told him.''

''I know that now.'' Andy sadly smiled. ''During that time I was just scared. Afraid that something would happen to Sam, afraid that that guy would come back.''

''I know,'' Sarah said. ''it's okay.''

''I hate that I hurt him,'' Andy said while one tear ran down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away and looked out of the window. ''But at that time I really thought I was doing the right thing.''

''I know,'' Sarah said again. ''I understand.''

''I never told anybody,'' Andy continued. ''But then one day I see that guy at the station and I froze. My best friend cornered me and I broke down. I told her and when Sam went missing on his undercover I knew that he had something to do with it. It was just this feeling in my gut. So I told Jerry and eventually they found him.''

''Did you tell Sam after that?'' Sarah asked.

''Yeah,'' Andy answered. ''I figured he had a right to know. Especially since his best friend and his boss knew already.''

Sarah smiled and placed a hand on Andy's knee. ''And he forgave you and now you're back together.''

''It wasn't that easy,'' Andy said. ''But yeah, eventually we talked things through and decided to give it another chance.''

''I'm not surprised.'' Sarah put away the baby dress she had in her hands and took another piece of clothing. ''I always thought you guys would work it out.''

''How?'' Andy asked.

''When he was with you, Sam was happier than I ever saw him before,'' Sarah explained. ''I know my brother and he doesn't fall for someone very easily. Actually, I don't think he ever _really _fell for someone before you.''

Andy nodded and smiled faintly. She knew that was true, Sam really wasn't one that hopped from one girl to another.

''One tip?'' Sarah said. She waited for Andy to look up until continuing. ''You have to make peace with what happened yourself. You can't make anybody else happy if you're not happy with yourself.''

Andy nodded and shrugged her shoulders. ''I think I'm okay,'' she said. ''In the beginning I was scared of everything and everybody, but that sort of faded away after a while.'' Andy smiled and looked at Sarah. ''I moved back in with my dad after I left and he saw that something was wrong with me. After that he sobered up and stayed sober.''

''That's great Andy,'' Sarah smiled. She knew the struggles Andy had with her dad and was happy that her father seemed to be doing better. ''I'm happy for you.''

''And since things with Sam are better I feel lighter than I have, ever.'' Andy continued. ''What happened was horrible, but I'm okay. I've got my dad and friends to thank for that.''

''That's important,'' Sarah agreed. ''I don't know how I would have coped without Sam, even now he's still my rock.''

Andy nodded again and looked at Sarah. ''He's pretty special.''

''He is. This time just talk to each other, don't run away when things get hard.''

''I won't,'' Andy promised. ''This time we're going to do things right.''

''Good.''

XX

After they unpacked the box with clothing Andy and Sarah went to the mall. Sarah wanted to get some decorations for the nursery and she wanted to look for a stroller.

When they got home again, three hours later, the boys were just sitting down with a beer. ''Well,'' Sam said. ''Furniture is done.''

''Really?'' Sarah asked. ''Already? Where did you put everything?''

''Just go take a look,'' Will chipped in. ''I think you'll like it.''

Sarah and Andy went upstairs together and entered the nursery. Andy noticed tears in Sarah's eyes when she looked at the results. ''It's beautiful,'' Andy softly said. ''You did a good job on picking furniture, it's really gorgeous.''

''It is,'' Sarah agreed. ''It's perfect.''

Sam and Will followed the girls behind and Sam looked at the walls. ''If you tell me where you want the decorations and shelves, I'll hang it up immediately.''

Sarah nodded and gave Sam instructions. Another hour later the nursery was done. Of course Sarah had to fill the drawers with clothes, diapers and everything else a baby needs. The crib still needed sheets, but all the big work was done.

Andy and Sam decided to give the parents to be a moment to their selves and slipped out of the room. ''You okay?'' Sam asked as soon as they were in the living room.

Andy nodded and kissed Sam softly. ''We talked, I think we're good.''

''Told you,'' Sam said. ''Everything is going to be okay.''

''I know.'' Andy smiled and ran her hands across Sam's arms. ''I like you like this.''

''Like what?''

''Sweaty,'' Andy answered with a sparkle in her eyes. ''And with tools, really hot.''

Sam grinned and waggled his eyebrows. ''Really? That does it for you?''

''You do it for me,'' Andy answered.

Sam drew her in for another kiss. Andy deepened it quickly and slipped a hand under his shirt. When Sam heard noises from the stairs he quickly pushed Andy away. He readjusted his shirt and tried to look like nothing happened.

''You guys want some Chinese?'' Will asked. ''I thought we'd order in after all the hard work we did today.''

''Sure,'' Andy smiled. ''Chinese sounds perfect.''

XX

On the way back home Andy rested her head against Sam's shoulder. She traced patterns on his denim covered thigh. Sam tried to ignore her, but she could see he was struggling. As soon as they came trough Andy's door, Sam attached his mouth to hers. He pushed her up against the wall and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Sam licked his way inside her mouth and rocked his hips against hers.

Andy quickly pulled Sam's t-shirt from his body. As soon as the piece of clothing was on the floor, she put her hands on his chest. She could feel his heart rapidly beating against her hand. Sam released her from his hold and let her slide to the floor again. It turned out he just wanted his hands free to tug her shirt away from her body as well. Her shirt joined his on the floor and Sam started kissing the newly exposed skin. Andy moaned and fisted her hands in his dark hair.

She started tugging his hair when she wanted his mouth back on hers. Sam got the message and kissed his way up her body again. When their lips met again, Andy started pushing herself off the wall. She pushed Sam along with her and walked towards the bedroom. When they reached it she gave Sam a small push, he fell across the bed and grinned at her.

Andy crawled on top of him and straddled his hips. She used both hands to unbuckle his belt. Sam lifted his hips so Andy could slide the belt through his jeans. As soon as the leather was gone Andy roamed her hands across Sam's abs and chest. She leaned over and kissed Sam's neck. Sam used his hand to unclasp her bra. When the material was hanging on her shoulders Andy quickly got rid of it.

''You are amazing,'' Andy whispered against Sam's ear.

Sam just gazed up at her and puller her down for another kiss. He rolled them over so he was lying on top of her. He nuzzled her neck and sucked the skin there. Andy sighed and closed her eyes. After a few minutes she took control again and flipped them over again. ''I think it's time for me to blow your mind a little,'' she said with a wicked smile.

XX

''How was it at his sisters place?'' Traci asked the next day while they were getting ready for their shift.

''Good,'' Andy answered. ''Actually, it was really good. I had a lot of fun and it sort of felt like we were back to ourselves, you know?'' Andy closed her locker and started to braid her hair. ''I even talked to her about everything that happened and she was really nice about it.''

''Good,'' Traci smiled. ''I'm glad.''

''Me too.'' Andy smiled and nodded. ''He makes me happy.''

Traci stood up and looked at her best friend. ''You look happy,'' she agreed. ''And that's a really good thing because you deserve to be happy and you have been depressed for too long.''

''I wasn't depressed,'' Andy disagreed. ''But without Sam I did feel a little incomplete and that's fading away now. It's like everything is falling back into place.'' Andy looked in the mirror, happy that she managed to braid her hair in one try. ''How are things between you and Jerry?''

Traci sighed and rolled her eyes. ''Good.''

''But?'' Andy tried. When Traci shot her a questioning look Andy raised an eyebrow. ''Don't think I didn't notice the hesitation there. I know you just as well as you know me.''

Traci looked away and shrugged her shoulders. ''Dex wants to try again.''

''Wow,'' Andy said. ''What are you going to do?''

''I don't know,'' Traci answered. ''I love Jerry, but sometimes I just see that Leo would want me and Dex to get back together. I just want a happy kid.''

''He's happy now,'' Andy promised. ''He's got the best mom ever. And believe me, Leo won't be happy if you're unhappy. Maybe at first he'll enjoy his parents getting back together, but if that doesn't work out it will only crush his heart. And if you're really honest with yourself, do you think you could be happy with Dex?''

''No,'' Traci answered. ''Not really. I guess I could be okay, but not happy.''

Andy put a hand on Traci's shoulder and squeezed it. ''Don't settle for less than you deserve. You deserve to be happy and loved. Don't go and be with Dex just to make Leo happy, that won't work.''

''When did you become so smart?'' Traci asked.

''It comes naturally,'' Andy said with a smile. ''But seriously, just tell Dex you're happy where you are.''

''I should,'' Traci agreed. ''Can you tell him?''

Andy laughed and closed Traci's locker. ''Sorry, you're on your own with that one.''

When they reached the parade room they sat down with the rest of the rookies. Frank handed out assignments and everybody headed out again.

''McNally,'' Oliver shouted out. ''Meet me at the cruiser at five.''

''Yes sir,'' Andy answered.

Andy quickly made her way to the coffee station to make a coffee for herself and her TO. She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard Sam's voice bark at her.

''McNally, interview room one,'' he yelled out.

Andy looked up and met Gail's eye. Gail raised an eyebrow and smirked a little. Obviously Andy was in trouble. Andy thought really long and hard, but she couldn't figure out what she could have done that would have pissed Sam off. She quickly put down the cup she had in her hand and followed Sam.

A little scared she opened the door to the interview room. She knew how Sam could act when he was pissed off, she did not like to be at the receiving end of that. ''Sir,'' she said when she was inside. ''What's wrong?''

Sam narrowed his eyes and then surprised her by pulling her towards him. When she was flush up against him he put his hand around her neck and kissed her fiercely. He ran his tongue across her bottom lip and demanded access. When Andy gave it he deepened the kiss and backed her up against the wall.

Andy tried to keep up with him, but his pace was too hurried. When Sam started to unbutton her uniform, Andy squirmed a little. She turned her head, but Sam didn't take that as a sign, he just started kissing her throat.

As good as it felt, Andy knew she had to stop it. They were at their workplace and she was a rookie. It would not look good if they got caught. ''Sam,'' Andy said.

Because his name sounded more like a moan than a warning, Sam took it as permission to push the material of her T-shirt up. His hand found the cup of her bra and pulled it down. When Sam closed his mouth over a nipple Andy closed her eyes and sighed. As good as it felt, she had to stop it.

''Sam,'' she said again with a little more force. She tugged at his hair and pushed him away. ''We're at work,'' she whispered. ''We shouldn't. I can't..''

Sam smirked and took a step forward again. ''Okay,'' he whispered before kissing her gently.

Andy frantically started readjusting her clothing when she heard a noise outside of the interview room. Sam chuckled and Andy shot him an annoyed glare. ''This is not funny,'' she hissed. ''What if someone walked in?''

''Nobody is going to walk in,'' Sam promised. ''I know what I'm doing okay?''

''And getting hot and heavy at a workplace seemed to be a good idea?'' Andy asked.

''Yes,'' Sam immediately said. He smirked and kissed her one more time. ''Get out,'' he said when he swatted her butt. ''I'm taking you out tonight, so don't make any plans.''

''Okay,'' Andy said, still slightly flustered. ''Shall I go first?''

Sam nodded. ''Need a minute,'' he explained.

Andy smirked and winked. ''Okay, be safe out there.''

''You too,'' Sam replied.

When she met Oliver by the cruiser he looked at her with a funny expression. ''What?'' she asked.

''Where's my coffee?'' Oliver asked.

Andy looked back at the station and pointed in that direction. ''Sorry sir, let me just go..''

''No,'' Oliver stopped her. ''Never mind, you can just buy me one.'' Andy sighed and nodded. ''Had fun in the interview room, or was it the equipment room?'' Andy's eyes widened and she looked at her TO. ''Sammy can't help himself, can he?''

Andy didn't respond and Oliver laughed. ''Your uniform is buttoned up the wrong way,'' he explained. ''It wasn't when you were in parade. Next time try to be a little more subtle.''

If there was any time Andy wished she could disappear in the ground, it would be in that minute. ''Glad you guys worked it out McNally,'' Oliver said. ''Now let's go, you owe me some caffeine.''

XX

**A lot of people wanted a happy chapter, so here you go!**

**Please review. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry for the long wait! I was on a vacation for a few weeks, but I'm back now!**

**I hope you can forgive me for the police work in this chapter. I'm aware that things would probably go very, very different in a real life situation, but remember that this is fiction. **

**Thank you all so much for the continuing support!**

**XX**

Andy's eyes fluttered open and she turned her head to the side. Her alarm clock informed her she could stay in bed for another hour, still the other side of the bed was empty already. She moved her hand over the bed sheets and it felt like Sam had been out of bed for a while.

Just when she was about to call out to find out if he was still there, Sam entered her bedroom. He put a glass of orange juice on her bedside table and gave her a chase kiss. ''I have to go,'' he told her.

''You always have to go,'' Andy answered slightly disappointed. She understood that he had places to be and that their relationship was still new, but sometimes she wished he would stay just a little while longer.

''I really gotta go,'' Sam said again. ''I don't have a spare of clothes in my bag and I promised Jerry I'd come in early so I could look over some things for a case.''

Andy wanted to tell him that he could just leave a spare of clothes at her apartment, but she decided that that probably wasn't a good idea. They had been back together for two months now, but Andy still felt like they were on a trial run.

They had never spent the night at Sam's place. She had been there a few times, but every time he insisted they would go back to her place. Sam never left anything at her place, he always went home before going to work.

Still Andy couldn't bring herself to bring it up. She tried, she did, but he brushed it off. And even if she wanted a clearer definition of what it was they were doing, she was too scared that she wouldn't like the answer.

Besides, it wasn't like he was treated her badly. He actually treated her very good. He always made sure she had a ride home, he was affectionate when they were alone and was attentive. When they were together he was the perfect boyfriend. For the first time in a long time she was actually very happy.

So Andy tried to reason with herself that it only had been two months. Most guys would still be a little hesitant about becoming more serious after two months.

''I'll see you at work,'' Andy muttered against his lips.

Sam cupped one side of her face and nudged her nose with his. ''Try to be on time,'' he teased.

Andy swatted his chest and let herself fall back on the mattress. ''I'm always on time,'' she protested.

''With two seconds to spare, yes.'' Sam pecked her lips one more time and stood up. ''Step it up rookie.''

''Hey, I got a very positive evaluation. No longer a rookie.'' The whole group had been cut loose. A weight was lifted off Andy's shoulder and for the first time in her life she felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be professionally.

''Yeah yeah,'' Sam laughed while he was walking out of the door. ''Set your alarm clock.'' And with that he was out of the door.

Andy turned to her side and looked at the object he was referring to. She debated getting up and going for a run, maybe it would clear her head. When she felt the warmth of her covers she decided against it, her run could wait until tonight.

XX

She saw Sam again at the station. He was already in uniform and smiled at her when she came running into the barn. ''What did I tell you McNally?'' he yelled out with a grin.

Andy just gave him a glare and rushed into the locker room. She got dressed as quickly as possible and was impressed with herself that she had seven minutes before parade. It probably helped that Traci and Gail both had the day off, so there wasn't really anybody there to distract her.

Quite pleased with herself she left the locker room and saw that Sam was waiting for her, leaning against the wall. Andy smiled at the gesture, he never waited for her before parade. Normally he would just take his place in the back. ''Must be a new personal record,'' Sam teased when she walked out.

''Haha, very funny,'' Andy said. ''If you would look at your watch, you would see that I'm on time, thank you very much.''

''You know what they say, first time for everything.'' Sam grinned and walked towards the parade room.

''Shut up,'' Andy said under her breath.

''So, girls night tonight?'' Sam asked.

''Not exactly,'' Andy answered. ''Traci, me and Leo. So that will be a night filled with Pixar movies and soda.''

''Sounds like fun,'' Sam replied sarcastically.

''Yeah, what about poker night? I'm sure you'll be very happy to work tomorrow.'' Andy knew how poker night worked. Everybody got so wasted that the next day was a terrible day to work. They reached the parade room and for a change Andy sat in the back with Sam. Dov and Chris were seated in the front, but they seemed to have some kind of discussion going on where she wanted no part in.

''That is the one good thing about you rookies,'' Sam continued. ''Makes it easier to find someone to dump all my work on the day after poker night.''

''That is the only good thing about us rookies?'' Andy asked. ''Well..'' she took a deep breath and smiled wickedly. ''That is not what you said last night.''

''Too much information McNally,'' Oliver yelled out from next to Sam. He laughed at the expression on her face as he leaned back.

Frank walked into the parade room and when everybody calmed down he started his speech for the day.

Andy decided she wasn't done with the teasing yet, so she moved a little closer to Sam. She dropped her voice to make sure that no one would hear her and moved her mouth to his ear. ''If you have some more instructions for me on how to be a better rookie, maybe you should come by after poker night.''

Sam turned his head and the expression on his face told Andy she got him exactly where she wanted him. ''What are you suggesting?''

''Anything you think is necessary, sir.'' Andy softly said, she placed her hand on his thigh for extra effect. ''I mean, I want to make sure you are completely satisfied with my work.''

Sam's mouth dropped open and he was just about to respond when he was interrupted. ''Officer Swarek, Officer McNally, anything you like to share with the class?'' Frank asked.

Andy immediately sat up straight, removed her hand from Sam's leg and shook her head. ''No, sir, we're good.''

''Good, let's get back to the assignments for today.''

XX

That day was busy and hectic. There had been a series of B&E's in one neighbourhood, so Andy was patrolling there with Dov. Now they were no longer rookies, they weren't forced to ride with a TO anymore. Most of the time Oliver was Andy's partner, but for today she was partnered with her friend.

''I think it's so cool that you and Swarek are back together,'' Dov said.

Andy looked at him and quirked an eyebrow.

''I'm so jealous,'' Dov went on.

Andy raised her eyebrow even further and started laughing. She was aware of the fact that Dov seemed to have some kind of man crush on Sam, but she didn't expect this.

''That is so not what I meant,'' Dov quickly said. ''I meant that he's probably teaching you so much outside of work. You'll learn so much from him. He is such an awesome cop.''

''Yeah, we don't exactly talk about policing all the time, Dov,'' Andy filled in. ''Sorry to disappoint you.'' Andy turned the steering wheel around and checked the streets for anything out of the ordinary.

''Still,'' Dov continued. ''You can just ask him anything you want to know.''

''Sure you're still referring to police work?'' Andy asked. ''Or are you interested in anything else?'' she teased.

''Shut up,'' Dov replied. ''I just think it's cool you guys worked it out. I know we haven't talked much lately, but you seem happy.''

''I am,'' Andy agreed. ''Thanks Dov.'' Silence washed over them and Andy let out a yawn. ''How is it living with Chris and the ice queen?'' she asked. She thought the nickname for Gail didn't really suit her anymore, since she was dating Chris she had lightened up a lot more.

''Walls are thin,'' Dov replied.

Andy started laughing and shot Dov an apologetic glance. ''Sorry Dov.''

At that moment the radio cracked to life. It informed them that there was a possible B&E in progress not far from where they were, Dov grabbed the radio and told them they were on it.

When they reached the house Andy let out a low whistle. ''Wow, that's not a house, that's a castle.''

''Whoever lives here did good,'' Dov agreed.

The house was pretty isolated, so it would be the perfect place for a breaking and entering. Someone who was walking their dog saw movement in the house even though he knew the owners were away for a vacation. Andy and Dov made a quick walk around the house and saw that one of the doors was forced open. They called that in and told ditch patch that they would clear the house.

''Do we wait for backup?'' Andy asked. ''It's a pretty big house for just the two of us.'' Truth be told she wasn't even sure where to start clearing this house.

''We're no longer rookies,'' Dov replied. ''Come on Andy, they're probably gone already. Most of these B&E's were in and out.''

Andy hesitated for a moment, but Dov seemed to be sure of his case. She nodded and with their guns drawn they walked into the house. In silence they communicated, they walked up to the stairs together and cleared the first few rooms. When they cleared the first floor Dov suggested they'd split up.

Andy was still a little hesitant about it, experience told her to stick together as much as they could. Still, she went with Dov's idea and she walked up two pairs of stairs. Slowly she cleared the first two rooms, obviously someone had been in there because the room was a mess. Andy took a deep breath and went back to the hallway.

She didn't hear footsteps behind her at first, but when she did it was already too late. Something connected with the back of her head and the world went black.

XX

Dov opened an eye and groaned. He didn't know where he was or how he got here. He let his hand wander over his body and felt that he was in uniform. When he felt for his gun, he noticed that it wasn't there anymore. He tried to get up, but pain in his abdomen stopped him from doing so.

All of the sudden things came back. The B&E, clearing the house, Andy and him splitting up and then all of the sudden a guy was standing in front of him with a gun. Before Dov could react the guy had pulled his trigger and that sent Dov to the floor. The impact of the shot caused him to pass out and he didn't know how much time had passed since then.

Dov groaned again and reached for his radio. ''Andy?'' he tried. ''Andy, are you okay?'' When there was no response Dov felt nauseated. ''Ditch patch, this is 15-05,'' Dov managed to get out between laboured breaths. ''Requesting back up and a bus, officer down. I can't reach my partner.''

Again he tried to get up, but the pain in his abdomen stopped him. ''Epstein, what the hell happened?'' his radio cracked to life. ''Where's McNally?''

Dov knew that if the bullet in his vest didn't kill him, Swarek would probably finish the job. He reached for his radio again and tried to explain the situation. Only two minutes later more cops started coming in.

Oliver instructed Chris to stay with Dov until the medics came while they went looking for Andy.

Sam broke about every traffic law ever invented to reach the house as soon as possible. When he heard officer down, his heart stopped. When he heard that Epstein couldn't reach his partner, he lost it. There was no way he was losing her now that they just got back together.

He was on the other side of town so it took him quite some time to get to the house. He stormed in there and saw Dov sitting on a table getting checked out by a medic. Sam grabbed the younger officer by the arm and pulled him off the table. ''What happened?'' he demanded.

Dov yelped out of pain and bend over with a hand on his stomach. ''It's my fault,'' he took the blame. ''It was my suggestion that we split up, she even wanted to wait for back up.''

Sam gritted his teeth and clenched his hands together. He knew that whatever he would say or do, it wouldn't help him get to Andy faster.

Oliver walked in on the scene and pulled Sam away from Dov. ''This is not going to help her, brother,'' he tried to calm his friend. ''You need to stay calm or else Frank will have you off duty before you know it.''

''Where is she?'' Sam demanded to know. ''Did you clear the house?''

Oliver looked up and shook his head. ''She's not here anymore,'' he cautiously said. ''We found a blood stain on the carpet, they are checking if it's hers.''

Sam felt like someone punched him in the face and stomach at the same time. All the colour disappeared from his face and he took a deep breath. ''Who called this in, did anybody see their faces?''

''Buddy, you need to calm down, we will find her,'' Oliver tried again. ''They can't be that far.'' Oliver knew his attempt to calm Sam down would be useless. If it would be Zoe missing, he would go crazy too.

''Okay, people,'' Best interrupted. ''The lab makes this top priority, make sure we are not missing anything here. Epstein, you're going to the hospital to get checked out.''

When Dov tried to protest Best interrupted again. ''You're evidence right now. Diaz, you ride with him to the hospital. Someone will meet you at the hospital to make a drawing of the shooter.''

''Boss,'' Sam yelled at Frank. ''What do we have so far?''

Frank sighed and shook his head. ''Not much, but we'll find her.''

XX

Andy woke up with the worst headache she ever experienced. She wanted to move her hands to cover her eyes, but her hands were tied together above her head. She was lying on a bed, but couldn't remember how she got there. She tried to move, but her feet seemed to be tied together as well. When she opened her eyes, all she saw was darkness.

She felt soft material covering her eyes. She couldn't remember where she was the last time when she was awake, everything in her body felt soar and she let out a sob. She tried to focus on her hearing, that was when she heard two voices arguing.

''Kidnapping a fricking cop?'' she heard a male voice ask. ''Some breaking in, okay. But I didn't sign up for kidnapping. Especially not a cop, do you know what the cops will do when they'll find us now?''

''She was in the way,'' another voice argued. ''You were on another floor and Jimmy was out of the house.''

''You punched her out,'' she heard the other voice again. ''You could have left her there.'''

Andy moved, but the restrictions were too tight and everything in her body hurt. ''I wanted too, but then I saw that other baby cop. He saw my face and I didn't want to kill a cop, so I took her with me for insurance. First I wanted to take her partner, but then I decided that she was much better to look at.''

Andy got the chills from the way he talked. She moved around some more and she felt that she was still wearing all of her clothes, at least that was a relieve.

''Shooting one cop and kidnapping another. I'm not going down for that, you are on your own.'' Andy heard the first voice again. When she heard that Dov was shot she felt tears in her eyes. She could only hope that the shot hadn't been fatal.

Then sounds of fighting broke her thoughts. ''You listen to me good,'' the second voice said. ''If you leave now, I'll make sure you take the complete fall for this. You are going to stay here with me. We'll just lay low for a while and make sure we're off the radar.''

''Off the radar? You kidnapped a cop,'' The other voice protested again.

''We'll get rid of her soon enough, she's just an insurance for now.'' Andy heard more struggling and then she heard the creepy voice again. ''Do you understand me, Pete?''

''Yes,'' the voice that belonged to Pete replied. ''I understand.''

''Good,'' the other voice said again.

Then she heard a door open and the creepy voice spoke again. ''Ah, look who is awake,'' he said. He yanked the blindfold from her head and threw it to the side. ''Sorry we had to meet like this sweetheart, but you and your partner got in the way.''

Andy looked into the dark eyes of the man with the creepy voice. He was about forty years old and had black greasy hair. ''What did you do to him,'' Andy angrily asked.

''Don't worry, he'll be fine. And as long as you're being cooperative, so will you.'' The man sat down on the bed next to Andy and she flinched away from him. Her breathing became ragged and she immediately had a flashback back to Boyd.

''Don't worry princess, not out to hurt you. Pretty as you may be, you're not my type.''

''What do you want from me?'' Andy asked.

He looked at her and shook his head. ''I am not sure yet, but I figured you might come in handy at some point.''

''Okay, just let me go,'' Andy tried. ''You haven't hurt me, I don't know where I am, just let me go and then you can run.''

''I'm not that stupid,'' the man said.

Then a man who Andy assumed was Pete walked in. ''Boss, maybe she's right, maybe you should just let her go.''

''I thought I made myself clear.'' The man stood up and walked to Pete again. ''Do you have some problem with your hearing?''

Pete swallowed and looked at Andy. ''No, boss. But I don't think Jimmy is coming back.''

''He'll always come back. He just needs a little time. Now, you make sure our guest is in good hands and let me think about how we can get out of this.'' The man walked out of the room, leaving Andy alone with Pete.

Pete looked at her with an apologetic look. Andy thought he couldn't be older than 25, he was short and had blonde hair. ''I'm sorry,'' he said. ''No one was suppose to get hurt.''

''What happened to my partner?'' Andy asked again. The other guy said that Dov was okay, but somehow Andy was more willing to believe the words of the young man in front of her. ''Is he okay?''

''He shot him, but it hit him in the vest,'' Pete said. ''He should be fine. How's your head?''

Andy ignored his question and looked him straight in the eye. ''Let me go, please? I'll testify that you helped me and I promise that I'll help you, just let me go.''

''I can't, he'll kill me,'' Pete said. ''I really am sorry, but there's nothing I can do for you.'' The young man seemed to be in shock as he shook his head. ''No one was supposed to get hurt, it was just supposed to be some quick cash.''

''But people did get hurt,'' Andy tried. ''Do you know what they are going to do when my colleagues find you? I promise that it isn't pretty, but if you let me go now you have a chance at a better life.''

Pete smiled faintly and shook his head. ''I'll go to jail, we'll both know that. But if I let you go, he'll kill me. So right now, staying is my best option. For what it's worth, I am sorry.''

XX

Sam kicked his locker three times in a row and sat down on the bench. He put his head in his hands and shook his head. She had to be okay, she had to be. He couldn't lose her, he refused to lose her.

''She's going to be okay,'' Jerry's voice pulled him from his thoughts. ''She's alive.''

Sam let out a sarcastic laugh and looked up to his friends. ''Yeah, how do you know that?'' he asked. ''We've got nothing. All we know is that she is bleeding, so that she is hurt.''

''If they wanted to kill her, they could have done it at the scene. They let Epstein live, so they aren't out to kill.'' Jerry tried to comfort his best friend. ''We just need to figure out why they took her and more important, where they took her.''

''I can give you a million reasons for why they took her, each one uglier than the one before,'' Sam yelled. He stood up and kicked his locker again.

''Sam, we'll find her,'' Jerry said again. ''Epstein saw the guy that shot him and hopefully that will give us some leads. There is a good chance that they just freaked out and took her.''

Jerry was trying to give Sam some hope, but he could only imagine how he would feel if it was Traci that was missing. He had called Traci with the message that she needed to come to the station and to let her mom keep Leo away from the TV. Andy's picture would be all over the news soon.

When Traci arrived Jerry sat her down and talked to her. Traci cried for a good five minutes, called her mom and then changed into her uniform, determined to find her best friend. Gail came to the station and changed into uniform too. Every officer that was off and had the option to help, came in. This was one of their own and that was not something that was taken lightly.

''Guys,'' Oliver interrupted. ''Sketch is done, we might be on to something.''

Sam didn't know how quickly he had to get to his feet and practically ran into the parade room. Jerry followed and take a look at the picture that was now on the board. ''That our guy?'' Jerry asked.

Best nodded and looked at Sam. ''We'll find her Sam,'' Best said. ''This sketch will be over the news, Epstein is sure this is what he looked like. Someone has got to recognize him.'' Best paused and looked at Sam. ''Epstein was shot with McNally's gun, so they probably weren't even armed.''

Sam closed his eyes and nodded. She had to be okay.

She had to be.

XX

It felt like it was hours later when Pete came into the room again. Andy was pretty sure she had a concussion, everything was blurry, everything hurt and she couldn't focus or stay awake. She could only hope it was a simple concussion, anything else and she needed medical attention very soon.

At first she was happy that it was Pete that came into the room, not the other guy. Pete seemed to be the level headed guy. Andy was convinced that if she talked to him long enough, he would help her.

Right now he wasn't that level headed anymore. He was pacing and cursing to himself. He had a gun in his hand and Andy feared for her life.

''I'm not taking the fall for this,'' Pete said. ''I'm not.''

Andy closed her eyes and tried to focus. ''What happened?'' she asked. She tried to remember what she was taught in the academy, what should she do right now? ''How can I help you?'' she settled for. ''What can I do to help?''

''He left,'' Pete said. ''He's going to blame this on me, but I'm not going to take the fall. I need to think,'' he said again. ''I need to think.'' Pete sat down on the chair that was in the corner of the room. He held the gun in one hand and the other hand was on his face.

''I know you didn't want this,'' Andy tried to talk her way out of this mess. She had trouble forming words and she felt like her head was about to explode. ''I will help you.''

''You're a cop,'' Pete said again. ''I can't trust you.''

In a way Andy felt sad for the young man before her. ''You can,'' she promised. ''I became a cop to help people.''

''To help good people,'' Pete interrupted. He stood up again and paced the floor. ''Not criminals, not me.''

''You've made some bad choices, that doesn't make you a bad person.'' Andy closed her eyes and tried her very best to stay awake. ''I need a doctor,'' she said. ''Let me go and I promise that I will help you, there's a chance for a better life, I promise.''

Andy blacked out again for a moment and then she felt Pete tugging on the ropes that tied her hands and feet. ''Undress,'' Pete ordered.

Andy tried to fight him, but her entire body was to weak. ''I'm not going to hurt you, but you need to change into other clothes,'' Pete yelled. ''I can't drive around with a cop next to me.'' When Andy didn't do anything Pete pointed the gun at her. He was nearly crying, but the boy was obviously desperate. ''Undress,'' he yelled.

Andy really didn't see any option but to follow his orders. Pete walked back to the closet in the corner and pulled out a t-shirt and some sweatpants. He threw it at her and Andy quickly slipped into them. By the time she was done, Pete was shaking.

Andy couldn't stand up, so she sat down on the bed. He might as well put down the gun, because she was sure she would lose any kind of fight in her current state. ''I really think I need a doctor,'' she said again. ''I'm bleeding,'' Andy touched the wound on her head and flinched when her hand came back red.

''Shut up for a moment,'' Pete yelled. He walked around the room again and took a deep breath. ''Okay, okay,'' he said. ''Here's what we're going to do, you are going to call someone and tell them that I need to get out of the country and then I'll let you go.''

Andy felt sorry for the guy, he clearly wasn't that smart. It didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that he was being used by whoever was in charge of this group. ''Okay,'' she nodded. ''He took my phone,'' she then said.

Pete ruffled around in a drawer and handed Andy her phone back. For a second she debated who she should call. Protocol would probably tell her to call Best, but she was dealing with an unstable armed guy here. Andy didn't believe that he wanted to hurt her, but chances were that he would. If this would be the last phone call she was making, she wanted Sam to be on the receiving end of it.

''Who are you calling?'' Pete asked.

''A colleague,'' Andy answered. ''He'll help us.''

''Put it on speaker,'' Pete demanded. ''And no funny business.''

Andy nodded and did what he asked. She looked up at the ceiling as her eyes filled with tears again and prayed to whatever was up there that Sam would pick up.

XX

Sam was sitting at his desk going trough tips that civilians called in. So far every tip was useless, but he wouldn't give up. When he felt his phone vibrate he checked the caller id. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that it was Andy who was calling him. Sam yelled out to Frank who immediately looked up from the board he was looking at. ''McNally is calling me,'' Sam informed.

Frank mentioned for everybody else to quiet down and gave instructions to Sam. ''Andy?'' Sam asked. ''Andy, are you okay?''

When she heard his voice Andy's tears fell. She nodded even though she knew he couldn't see her. ''Sam,'' she managed to get out. ''I need your help okay?''

''Where are you?'' Sam interrupted. ''Are you hurt? We found blood, did they hurt you?''

''Sam, Sam,'' Andy tried to calm him. ''I need you to help me, okay?''

Frank put a hand on his shoulder to help Sam through this. ''Anything,'' Sam said. ''What do they want?''

''There is only one guy left,'' Andy said. ''He isn't the one who took me and he doesn't want to hurt me. He has been very good to me and he needs to get out of the country.''

''Are you hurt?'' Sam asked again. ''Did they hurt you _anywhere?''_

Sam could hear her hesitate, but then she answered. ''I have a head wound,'' she confessed. ''But Pete, the guy who's with me, didn't do that. He made it very clear that he didn't want me or anybody else to get hurt.''

''Where are you?'' Sam asked. ''Just tell me where you are.''

''I don't know,'' Andy answered. ''But can you make this happen for me, Sam?''

Sam looked at Frank who was looking at the computer. Frank raised his thumb. ''Yes,'' Sam said. ''Of course.''

''Good,'' Andy said. ''That's good.''

All of the sudden another voice came through the phone. ''Okay officer, I didn't want this to happen,'' the voice said.

''I know Pete,'' Sam replied even though he could kill the guy with his bare hands if he would be with him now. ''I know, it's not your fault.''

''I just need to get out of the country,'' Pete said again. ''I can't go to jail.''

''If you let officer McNally go, we can help you,'' Sam tried. ''She needs to go to a hospital. You don't want anybody hurt Pete and she's hurt.''

''I need to get out of the country first,'' Pete said again. ''Just make that happen and she won't get hurt. I don't want to have to hurt her.''

''Okay,'' Sam said again. Frank's signals were telling him that they traced the phone call, that meant that a lot of people were on their way to his girlfriend right now. Sam signalled that he would be in the first car with Frank and while Frank looked hesitant he nodded. Sam walked along with Frank as he held the phone by his ear. They got into the car and were on their way.

''I'm going to hang up now,'' Pete said. ''I'll call you in an hour and then I expect some progress.''

''Wait,'' Sam said. ''Wait a minute,'' he took a deep breath and looked at his colleagues in the car. ''I need to talk to Andy for one more second.''

It took a few seconds, but then he heard Andy's weak voice again. ''Sam,'' she said.

''Sweetheart, are you sure you're okay?'' he asked one more time.

''I will be fine,'' Andy replied. ''Just get me out of here, okay?''

Sam swallowed and nodded, hoping he wasn't going to make an empty promise. ''Of course,'' he said. ''Of course,'' he repeated. ''Just..'' Sam looked around one more time and decided that for once he didn't care what others might hear about his feelings. If this was the last chance he got to say this words, he didn't care who heard it. ''I love you, okay? Whatever happened is in the past and I love you so much.''

He heard her sob and felt his heart break. ''I love you too, never stopped.''

With that the phone connection broke.

XX

''You said you were going to call a colleague,'' Pete accused.

''He is,'' Andy said. All of the sudden she felt so tired. She couldn't keep her eyes open anymore and let them flutter close.

She felt Pete's hand tugging on her arm. ''We're going for a drive,'' he said. ''We need to leave.''

Andy tried to open her eyes, but her head was pounding too bad. ''I can't walk,'' she said. ''Pete, please let me go to a doctor.''

Pete shook his head and looked around the room. ''I can't go to jail, I can't go to jail,'' he kept saying those words. ''I can't go to jail, Andy, I can't.''

''Let me go,'' she weakly said. ''Let me go, please.''

''I can't,'' he said again. She felt herself being pulled to her feet. Pete supported her as they made their way out of the room. ''We are going for a drive,'' he said again. ''They'll find us here, we can't let that happen.''

When he put Andy in his car, all she could do was give in to the darkness that was pulling at her. The world went black and she slipped into a peaceful state of sleep.

XX

Sam stood in the room where he was sure Andy spent the last few hours. He felt sick when he saw the ropes hanging on the headboard of the bed, her uniform next to the bed, the bloodstain on the white pillow. Oliver patted him on the back and squeezed his shoulder. ''They can't be far.''

''I'm gonna kill him,'' Sam said. ''If she's hurt..''

''Don't go there brother,'' Oliver said.

''She's hurt,'' Sam said again. ''She already is hurt. She said she had a head wound and there's blood on the pillow.''

''She's tough,'' Oliver tried to bring comfort. ''She's one of the toughest rookies we had in a decade Sam, you know that.''

''Head injuries are dangerous.'' Oliver's words didn't even reach Sam's brain. He was going on in his own world. ''If there's any damage..''

''Okay, Sam?'' Oliver said. ''You need to listen to me. Of course head injuries are serious, but there is a good chance that it's nothing serious. You need to focus on that right now, we won't find her any sooner if you're driving yourself crazy.''

''Yeah,'' Sam said. ''You're right. What did the forensic team say about the tire prints?'' he asked snapping back into cop mode. ''We need to find out what car he is driving.''

''Swarek,'' Frank's voice yelled out. ''Someone thinks she saw McNally in a car about fifteen miles from here.''

''I'm coming with you,'' Sam said.

''Give your gun to Oliver,'' Frank ordered. He saw that Sam was about to protest, so he stepped in immediately. ''Right now you are not a cop, you are the boyfriend of a victim. As your friend I am allowing to come with me, but without your weapon. Give it to Shaw.''

''Frank,'' Sam warned. ''If she's hurt..''

''There will be a dozen of other cops to deal with him,'' Frank said. ''You need to focus on her, so you can either give up your gun or you are staying behind.''

The look in Frank's eyes told Sam that there was no way that he was getting out of this one, so he grabbed his duty belt and handed it over to Oliver. He walked past Frank without saying anything else.

Half an hour later they were behind the car that might have Andy in it. Sam couldn't even focus on anything else than the brown hair that was pressed against the window. ''It's her,'' he said. ''I'm sure, it's her.''

After that things went very fast. Pete tried to speed his way out of the situation, but years of training gave all the cruisers an advantage that he couldn't fight.

After ten minutes of chasing him, the car came to a stop and Pete stepped out with his hands above his head. He decided that he wasn't going to win this one. ''I didn't want anybody to get hurt,'' he said again. ''I didn't hurt her.'' Cops came from everywhere with their guns drawn. They pushed his face to the ground and handcuffed him.

Sam jumped out of the car before it even came to a stop. He rushed to Andy's side of the car and slowly opened the door. ''Andy,'' he said, shaking her shoulder. ''Andy, wake up sweetheart, I need you to wake up.''

''Sam?'' her small voice answered. ''You found me.''

''Of course,'' Sam said. ''I need you to stay awake McNally, can you do that. Open those beautiful eyes and look at me for a moment.''

Sam saw her fighting sleep and then she opened her eyes and gave him the weakest smile he even got out of her. ''That's it,'' he told her. ''Now keep looking at me, okay?'' Sam put his hands under her knees and easily lifted her out of the car. ''An ambulance is coming,'' he said as he carried her towards the speeding flashlights.

''Sam,'' Andy said. ''Pete didn't do this, he just got dragged into this.''

Sam shook his head, not believing that she was concerned about the one that kept her captive for half the day. ''Don't worry about him right now, worry about you.''

''He didn't know what to do,'' Andy said. At that moment the ambulance came to a stop and paramedics came out. They quickly grabbed the stretcher and Sam lowered her to it.

''Don't worry about him,'' Sam said again.

''Don't leave me,'' Andy begged.

''Never,'' Sam promised. ''I'm here.''

XX

**Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Here is the next chapter! Hope you'll all enjoy it. It's just one more chapter for this story and then I'll mark it as complete. **  
XX

The drive to the hospital wasn't a long one, but to Sam it felt like it lasted an eternity. Andy kept slipping in and out of consciousness, whenever she was conscious she wasn't making much sense. Sam wanted to ask her a million questions, but he couldn't form the words. It never felt like the right time to ask either, because he didn't want to upset her.

Still, the images of the room came flooding back to him every time he closed his eyes. The ropes on the bed, her uniform on the ground and the blood on the pillow. He wanted to know what happened to her in that room.

Actually, he didn't want to know. Still, he needed to know.

The only thing that was stopping him from going to the station and killing that Pete guy was the way Andy clutched his hand every time she opened her eyes.

He didn't know what to say to make it better. For the second time since he met her she had been hurt, only this time he would be there for her. He could only hope that her injuries were superficial, because if anybody had laid a finger on her...

If anybody would have laid a finger on her Sam would lose it. He knew that much.

''Sam,'' Andy's voice sounded so small and vulnerable.

''I'm here sweetheart, we're almost at the hospital. Everything is going to be okay, okay?'' Sam tried to comfort himself as much as he was trying to comfort her. Somewhere he knew that she would most likely be okay. Still, he really needed a doctor to confirm that particular thought.

''Sam,'' Andy said again. She turned her head a few times and opened her eyes. Sam cupped her head in both his hands, trying to still her. He really didn't want her to do any more damage than there already was. ''Sam,'' she repeated.

''I'm here, not going anywhere.'' Sam looked up at the paramedic and raised his eyebrow. All he got in reply was a nod and a weak smile.

''Dov?'' Andy asked. ''Is he okay, where is he?''

Sam shook his head and ran his thumb over Andy's chin. It was typically Andy to worry about others while she was the one in the back of an ambulance. ''He's okay,'' he promised. ''Don't worry about anybody else than yourself right now.''

''Tired,'' Andy mumbled.

''I know sweetheart, I know,'' Sam replied. ''We're almost there, okay?''

When she closed her eyes again Sam sighed. He needed to know how she got into these clothes that obviously didn't belong to her. Mostly he needed to know how she got out of her uniform in the first place. He knew this wasn't the time and place to ask her that. She needed to get checked out first.

Maybe she didn't even remember, she had a head wound after all. Sam had seen enough head wounds to know that memory loss wasn't out of the question. She seemed to have a clear memory though, so that relaxed his mind a little.

As soon as they reached the hospital, they took Andy out of the ambulance. Sam tried to follow, but they stopped him when they reached a room. ''Sir, you have to wait back here,'' a young man informed Sam.

''She's my girlfriend,'' Sam tried. ''I need to be in there, I need to know what happened to her.''

Sam was already trying to get passed the guy when he put a hand on Sam's chest. ''Sir, it's hospital policy that you wait out here. I am not going to ask you again.''

Sam wanted to punch that guy, but he knew that was probably not in Andy's best interest. So he decided to take a step back. He took a deep breath and nodded at the intern. ''Just.. we found her uniform, we need to know if he...'' Sam couldn't even form the words, he couldn't believe that she might have went through that again.

''We will do a rape-kit if necessary,'' the intern said with a little more sympathy in his voice. ''We'll update you as soon as we can and I'll let you know when you are allowed to see her.''

Sam nodded and decided to take what he could get. Just as long as someone was with her right now, just as long as she would be okay.

After just a few more minutes officers from 15th started to come in. Everybody wanted to know if Andy was going to be okay. Frank came in to make sure all the evidence was handled with care. These guys took one of their own and they would do everything in their power to make sure they would go down.

''Anything on the other guys?'' Sam asked Frank after a minute. ''Do we have ID's?''

Frank shook his head and clapped his friend on the back. ''The guy we did bring in isn't one of the big fish's,'' he admitted. ''They probably just used him to have someone to put the blame on. I just called Jerry and he's positive that he'll talk.''

Sam focused on the door where his girlfriend was behind. He nodded absently and swallowed. ''That's good,'' he said. ''Jerry interviewing him?''

''The D's are all over this,'' Frank confirmed. ''Jerry has the lead on it.''

That made Sam feel slightly better. If anybody would find these guys, it would be Jerry.

''How was McNally in the ambulance?'' Frank asked.

''Tired,'' Sam started. ''She was unconscious most of the ride here. She didn't seem to be confused, but you know how brain injuries work and I don't know..''

''I just don't know,'' Sam concluded.

XX

Andy felt hands on her and she opened her eyes. Her head hurt like hell and she felt so confused. ''Sam,'' she mumbled. ''I need Sam.'' When she finally had the ability to look around, she noticed that she was in the hospital.

She vaguely remembered being in an ambulance. Sam was there for as far as she could remember.

''Sam?'' she asked again. She tried to find his warm eyes, but the room seemed to be filled with medical personnel only.

''The waiting room is filled for you miss McNally, but we need to do some test first,'' a voice told her. Andy looked to the side and found out the voice belonged to her doctor. ''Do you remember how your head injury occurred?'' the doctor asked.

''Work,'' Andy mumbled. ''Got a blow to the head.''

''Do you remember how you got here?'' The doctor flashed a light in her eyes and Andy cringed her nose.

''Sam,'' Andy said again. ''In the ambulance. There was... Pete and he didn't do this, but I don't know.'' All of the sudden things became too much for Andy. Her memories were blurry and all she wanted was to sleep. ''I'm tired.''

''I want to do a CAT scan and we need to do a rape-kit,'' Andy heard the doctor say. She began to protest, but then the doctor asked if she was sure that nobody touched her.

She tried to go back in her memory, but things were just blurry. She remember snippets, but all of the sudden she wasn't so sure anymore. ''No,'' she said slightly unsure. ''I'm fine.''

The doctor nodded and looked sympathetic . ''We'll do some test,'' she said.

Andy just nodded while her eyes filled with tears. ''Sam,'' she said again. ''Can Sam be here?''

''We need to do some test,'' the doctor said. ''I'll inform your family as soon as you're allowed to receive visitors.''

XX

Sam's gaze stayed on the door. When it opened he stood up, but they only rolled Andy out to bring her to another room so they could do more tests.

The doctors took their sweet time, but after a while someone finally approached the large group of officers. ''Is Tommy McNally present?'' the doctor asked.

''No,'' Traci answered. ''Her father isn't here yet, but we're all family,'' she tried. ''Everybody here is family.''

The doctor seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then took a good look at the group of officers. He knew how close partners could be. This group seemed genuinely close. And his patient did keep asking for her boyfriend. The doctor took a deep breath, looked at the file in his hand and looked up again. ''Miss McNally has a serious concussion, but there was no serious damage to the brain. She'll suffer from a severe head ache for a few days and there are a few things we need to take into account, but right now I see no reason to why miss McNally won't be making a full recovery.''

Everybody let out a sigh of relief. Sam closed his eyes for a moment and felt Oliver's hand on his shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze. ''Can we see her?'' Sam asked.

''One at the time,'' the doctor answered. ''We will need to wake her every hour, just to make sure.''

Sam nodded and when the doctor was about to leave, he followed. ''Doctor,'' he asked when it was just the two of them. ''Was there any sign of assault?''

The doctor shook his head and looked Sam in the eye. ''Miss McNally didn't have any memory of sexual assault and there are no signs that would suggest otherwise.''

Sam let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding. He thanked the doctor from the bottom of his heart and returned to the group of officers.

''Go,'' Traci told him as soon as he returned. ''She's going to want to see you.''

Sam nodded and joined the nurse that would show him to Andy's room. When he opened the door he immediately rushed to her side. She had her eyes closed so he settled for pressing his lips to her forehead.

As soon as his lips connected with her skin she opened her eyes. She smiled weakly and raised her hand to touch his cheek. ''Hey,'' she whispered. ''What's the verdict?''

''Concussion,'' Sam said with his lips glued to the back of her hand. ''You'll be okay.''

Andy nodded and looked at Sam. ''Is Dov really okay?'' she asked again. ''I know you would lie if you think that would stop me from worrying too much.''

''He's fine McNally, I promise.'' Sam brushed a strand of hair from her face and couldn't resist the urge to lower his lips to her forehead again. ''Thank god you're okay.''

Andy moved her head up a little so she could press her lips to Sam's. It was perhaps the most soothing kiss that they ever shared. When Sam pulled back he saw that Andy's eyes were glistening.

''I'm sorry,'' Andy softly said. ''I don't know why I'm crying.''

''You have a concussion,'' Sam reasoned. ''You can get a little emotional from that. Besides, you've had quite the day.'' Sam held her in his arms and kept pressing kisses to her temple on her uninjured side.

''Did you mean it?'' Andy asked all of the sudden with her mouth pressed to his shoulder. ''What you said on the phone?''

Sam didn't need to think about what she was referring too. Honestly he didn't want her to know just how deep his feelings for her still were. His mind kept telling him to be cautious around her, to make sure to keep her at a arms length.

At least for now.

But when he knew it could be the last time he had the opportunity to tell her, he knew he had to let her know that she was the most important thing in his life. That he still loves her so, so much. He didn't regret saying it, but he wished the circumstances were different.

Andy took his silence as a sign and freed herself from his arms. She nodded and laid down again. ''It's okay, heat of the moment. I get it. I'm just really tired, so maybe you should go.''

She really needed him to get out, so she could cry. She still loved him so much. She was telling the truth on the phone. She never stopped loving him.

''No,'' Sam immediately said. ''No Andy, I meant it. It's true.'' Sam swallowed and tried to get Andy to look at him again, but she was focused on the door right now.

''It's okay Sam, I get it,'' she said. ''Can you go, please? I really want to go to sleep.''

Sam could hear her tears trough her voice. He could kick himself in the gut for making her doubt his feelings for her. Sam shook his head and closed his eyes. He couldn't believe this girl. ''No,'' he sharply said. ''Hey, don't do this, okay? I didn't just say it because I thought you could be hurt. I meant it.''

When Andy still didn't turn to look at him Sam spoke up again. ''I love you. I tried not to, after you left, but I never stopped either.''

Andy slowly turned and looked at him with tear stained eyes. She sniffed a few times and shrugged her shoulders. ''I'm sorry I can't stop crying,'' she softly whispered.

''That's okay,'' Sam promised. ''As long as you'll be okay.''

Andy moved up again and pecked Sam lightly on the lips. ''I love you,'' she muttered against his lips. ''And it feels really good to just say that again. I don't care if it's too soon. I love you.''

''I love you too,'' Sam promised again. ''You should really get some rest. They will be waking you every hour.''

Andy groaned softly and shook her head. ''I would be fine at home.''

''Sleep Andy,'' Sam replied, not even willing to have that argument. ''I'll be here.''

XX

After the first time they woke up Andy, Sam heard a soft knock to the door. He had gone outside to inform everybody that Andy was okay after she fell asleep. Now Traci wanted to check on her best friend.

''Hey,'' Traci said. ''Still out?''

''She's exhausted,'' Sam said. ''They also gave her something for her the pain that tired her out even more.''

Traci nodded and sat down in the chair on the other side of Andy's bed. ''Actually, can you sit with her for a few moments?'' Sam asked. ''I need to do something and I don't want her to be alone.''

''Sure,'' Traci said. ''I'll stay here as long as she needs me. I've got tomorrow off anyway.''

''If she wakes up, tell her I'll be back soon.'' Sam stood up and walked out of the room. In the hallway he found Oliver, waiting like the good friend he is.

''Brother,'' Oliver said. ''McNally going to be okay?''

''Yeah,'' Sam answered. ''She's lucky, it could have been a lot worse.''

Oliver looked at his best friend and shook his head. ''Don't even go there Sam, we found her and you said it yourself: she's going to be okay. Let's just focus on that right now.''

''And on finding the bastards that did this in the first place,'' Sam replied. ''Did you hear anything else?''

Oliver shook his head and sighed. ''They have ID's, but no trace of them yet. For now Frank wants there to be a uniformed officer by McNally's door at all times.''

Sam nodded and was relieved that his boss was working hard to protect his girlfriend. ''That's why you're still in uniform?'' Sam asked. He knew Oliver's shift ended a long time ago.

''Offered to put in some overtime,'' Oliver answered. ''Diaz will come back around midnight and take over.''

Sam nodded again and took a deep breath. ''Thank you. What room is Epstein in?'' He asked. ''Need to talk to him for a moment.''

Oliver made a face and shook his head. ''Sam, anybody could have made this mistake. I probably would have split up too if I had to clear that house. There was no way to tell that they were still inside. Besides, I visited Epstein and he's feeling bad enough as it is.''

''I know,'' Sam replied. ''What room is he in?"'

Oliver looked a little hesitant, but answered his friend. ''1209.''

''Thanks,'' Sam said. ''Nash will stay with her until I'm back.'' And with that Sam left. He took the elevator to Dov's floor and walked towards the room where he would find the younger officer. He knocked twice and then he was told to come in.

''Sir,'' Dov stammered when he saw Sam walk in. ''I'm so sorry, how's Andy? Chris said that she was going to be okay. I shouldn't have left her alone, sir..''

''Epstein,'' Sam cut him off. ''It could have happened to anybody,'' he truthfully said. ''We are just lucky we found her this quickly and that she's okay.'' Sam swallowed and gave the man before him a small nod. ''I'm sorry for how I acted on the scene, this isn't your fault.''

''We should have stuck together,'' Dov said as he shook his head. ''It was my idea, I should have went with her.''

''Do you remember that time that McNally and I got stuck in the basement of that warehouse?'' Sam asked. He waited until Dov nodded before he continued. ''We split up that time too. My idea, my orders. It could have happened to me too that time.''

''Still,'' Dov tried again. ''I should have..''

''Doesn't matter,'' Sam said. ''It happened and it could have happened to anybody else. Every time we put on the uniform, it's a risk. You know that, I know that and McNally knows that too.''

''Thank you.'' Dov had been worried sick about his friend. He felt guilty and was happy that Sam didn't blame him for any of this.

Sam looked at his colleague and raised an eyebrow. ''How are you feeling? Are they keeping you overnight for observation?''

Dov nodded and yawned. ''Going home tomorrow. Will Andy go home tomorrow too?''

''I hope so,'' Sam answered. ''If nothing happens during the night she probably will go home soon.''

When Dov yawned again Sam smiled weakly. ''They gave you something for the pain, right?'' Dov nodded and Sam smiled. ''Okay, I'll let you sleep then. Take care Epstein.''

''Wait, sir,'' Dov yelled when Sam was just about to leave. ''Thank you,'' Dov said. ''I'm really glad that Andy's going to be okay.''

XX

Sam decided that he was going to stay in the hospital, even if that was against policy. He was still in uniform, even if he wasn't wearing his duty belt anymore. He didn't even know where his duty belt was, but he had enough faith in his friends to know that it was taken care off. The fact that he was wearing his uniform made it a little easier to convince a nurse that he was staying the night.

The dimples might have helped a little as well.

Oliver went home at midnight and Chris took over. Andy kept waking up every half hour, sometimes in a panic and sometimes disorientated. Every time Sam would talk to her until she was back asleep. He stayed by her bedside, just watching her. He even managed to get a some sleep himself, his head resting on Andy's bed. Her hand in his.

When morning arrived, Chris entered the hospital room. ''Good news,'' he said. ''They have two suspects in custody right now.'' Chris took out his phone and scrolled through some things. ''Jerry will send me some pictures soon, if you're up to it you can ID them.''

''Yeah,'' Andy said. ''I only saw one guy besides Pete though, but I did get a clear view. I should be able to ID him.''

''Good,'' Chris responded. ''Best ordered me to stay here until we're sure these are the guys we're after. If it takes too long then Gail will take over later.''

''Have you eaten anything Diaz?'' Sam asked. He knew that Frank's orders were very clear, the one on duty stayed near Andy's room at all times. That meant that Chris probably hadn't eaten or drunk anything yet.

''No, I'll ask one of the nurses to bring me something,'' Chris answered. ''I could use some coffee.''

Sam kissed Andy on the forehead and stood up. ''I'll go get us something,'' he said. ''Any preferences, Diaz?''

''Black coffee and something to eat is fine,'' Chris answered. ''Thanks sir.''

Sam left the room and came back later with some breakfast. They just finished eating when Andy's doctor came to check in on her. He did some tests with her and asked her questions about her pain level. Sam rolled his eyes when Andy said that her pain wasn't that bad. He knew she was lying, he could see that her head hurt a lot more than she led on.

''Okay, miss McNally,'' the doctor said after he did his tests. ''I think it's safe to let you go home, that is if there's someone to look after you.''

Andy looked at Sam and he answered before she could speak up. ''That's not going to be a problem, she can go home with me. I'll take a few days off work.''

''When can I go back to work?'' Andy asked. All she wanted to do was forget about this experience and get back on the streets. She knew she probably had to take a few days, that was going to be torture. The fact that Sam would be with her made it a lot better, but still. She wanted to work.

''There is no proof that long term rest helps when you're recovering from a concussion,'' the doctor said. ''Still, I advise you to stay at home for the rest of this week. You don't have to stay in bed, but take it easy and listen to your body.'' The doctor paused for a moment and looked at Sam. ''As for when you can go back to work, I recommend you talk to your staff sergeant about this. In situations like this there is a protocol that needs to be followed.''

Andy groaned and looked at Sam. ''They're going to make me go talk to a shrink again, right?''

''You will probably spent some time with the departments specialist,'' Sam answered truthfully. He knew she would hate it, but it was for the best. Even if she didn't like to talk about it, this experience probably spooked her more than she was willing to let him know.

''I'm going to prescribe some pain medicine for you,'' the doctor continued. ''I suggest you take them.'' The doctor had treated more than one police officer and knew that this particular patient was probably not eager to take her medicine.

''She will,'' Sam answered for her. ''Thank you doctor.''

''Thanks,'' Andy smiled at the doctor. ''For everything.''

''Your discharge papers will be at the nurses' station. As soon as everything is filled out, you're free to go.'' The doctor gave both of them a hand and walked out of the room. Andy told Sam to go get her papers as soon as possible, she was ready to go home.

While Sam was taking care of her papers, Chris walked in with the picture of the suspect. Andy confirmed that one of the guys was indeed the guy that hit her and took her.

When everything was taken care of, the nurse brought out a wheelchair and Sam brought Andy to his truck. Of course she insisted that she wasn't an invalid, she could walk. It was hospital policy though, so Andy sucked it up.

As soon as they were in his truck, Sam looked at Andy. ''So,'' he began. ''I've been thinking. Maybe it's best if I take you to the house. It's bigger, it has a better bathroom and you won't have to walk up so many stairs to actually reach it.''

Andy's eyes widened a little and immediately she felt pain shooting through her head. She noticed how he referred to his house as '_the house' _ and not '_my house'. _Of course, at one point it had been their house. Right now it was his house though, they hadn't even spent the night there since they had gotten back together.

''Are you sure you're comfortable with that?'' she cautiously asked. She wanted nothing more than to go home with him, but she didn't want to overstep his boundaries. As long as he was with her she was perfectly happy in her apartment as well.

''Of course,'' Sam promised. ''I'll just ask Nash to pick up some of your stuff from your place. She has a key, right?''

''Yeah,'' Andy said. ''She can let herself in.''

When they reached the house, Sam helped Andy out of the truck. He opened the door for her and helped her to the couch. ''Maybe you should just go upstairs?'' he asked. ''Go to bed and see if you can get some more sleep.''

''I'm fine Sam,'' Andy answered. ''The doctor even said that I don't have to stay in bed.''

''The doctor also said that you should listen to your body. Something is telling me that you're ignoring your body right now,'' Sam argued.

''Sam,'' Andy warned. ''Please, I'm fine, okay?'' She tried to stay as calm as she could. Three years ago this probably would've ended in an argument. By now she knew Sam well enough to know that he was just trying to protect her. ''I promise you that I will go to bed when the pain gets too bad.''

Sam sighed and nodded. He didn't want to fight with her, especially not if she was feeling like this. He just had to trust her ability to take care of herself. ''Just promise me you'll take your medicine.''

''I promise,'' Andy said. ''I'm going to be fine Sam,'' she added. ''Give me a week and I'll be as good as new.''

Sam knew she was overestimating herself with that planning. Right now she was too exhausted and in too much pain, but soon the nightmares would come. Soon she would realise what could've happened if the guys she was up against didn't just stop at breaking and entering.

He was going to keep a close eye on her.

''Promise me something too?'' Andy asked. ''If you want time for yourself, don't hesitate to tell me, okay? I can go home whenever you want me too.''

''What?'' Sam asked. He wasn't exactly following what she was asking of him here.

Andy shrugged her shoulders and gave him a sad look. ''Things between us have been good and I don't want to mess that up,'' she admitted. ''And you really seemed to need time for yourself. You're always gone before I have even properly woken up.''

''Sorry,'' Sam apologised. The last thing he wanted was for Andy to feel like he didn't want all of her. ''I guess that I just tried to take some space every now and then.''

''That's okay, I get it,'' Andy said. ''Just let me know when you need me to leave, okay?''

''McNally,'' Sam warned. ''I'm not going to want you to leave. I can promise you that.''

''Okay,'' Andy said. ''But if you change your mind..''

Sam sighed and looked at her. ''Not going to change my mind, but if I do, I'll let you know.''

''Okay,'' Andy agreed.

In a way they had both made a lot of progress since the last time they were together. Andy was more mature now, she could see things from Sam's side. Even the things that used to bother her, like his over protectiveness, were normal now. She would probably miss it if it wasn't there anymore.

Sam trusted her more, he had more faith in her capability to take care of herself.

They had grown while they were apart, but that brought them closer together now.

Traci came by an hour later. Sam opened the door for her. ''Thanks Nash,'' Sam said when she handed him a bag with clothes and toiletries.

''I think I got the basics covered,'' Traci said. ''I don't know if she needs more. I can always swing by her place after shift tomorrow if she needs more.''

''You wanna come in?'' Sam asked. ''She's on the couch.''

''Too stubborn to go lie in a bed, right?'' Traci joked. ''Is it okay if I come in?'' she asked. It felt kind of weird to go inside her TO's house. She didn't even really know Sam. Of course she knew that he was best friends with Jerry and she heard stories that Andy told her, but they hardly ever talked outside of work.

''Sure, actually, I need to go to the station. Need to talk to Frank, so if you could stay with her for a while?'' Sam knew Andy was an adult and perfectly fine on her own. Still, after yesterday's experience he really didn't want to leave her alone.

''Yeah, of course. Leo is with his dad, so I've got all the time in the world,'' Traci answered. She stepped inside Sam's house and nodded in the direction of the living room. ''That way?'' she asked.

''Yeah, through that door.'' Sam followed her and smiled when he saw Andy lying on his couch, her mouth slightly opened and her head to the side. ''She was awake a few minutes ago,'' he apologised.

''It's fine,'' Traci said. ''I can just sit here, if she wakes up and needs anything it's better if someone's here.''

Sam nodded and grabbed his jacket. ''Yeah, thanks Nash. You're a good friend.''

Traci just smiled and sat down on the chair that was facing Andy.

''You can turn the TV on if you want,'' Sam suggested. ''There are also a few magazines next to the couch, just make yourself at home. If she wakes up, there are pills on the counter in the kitchen. She can have two of them.''

''I'll manage,'' Traci promised.

''Just grab something to drink if you want to. Kitchen is pretty basic, you should find your way.''

''Like I said, I'll manage,'' Traci promised again. ''I've got a kid,'' she said. ''I know how to look after someone that's sick.''

''I know Nash, sorry,'' Sam apologised.

''It's fine, go,'' Traci told him.

''I won't be long.''

XX

''Frank,'' Sam greeted his friend when he walked into his office.

''Swarek.'' Frank gave Sam a nod and looked up from his papers. ''How's McNally?''

Sam sighed and nodded. ''She will be fine. Her head will probably hurt like hell for the next few days and she's going to be scared, but she'll get there.''

''I already talked to the department's specialist. Handed her file over and she'll call McNally to make an appointment. I wanted to stop by her place later today to see how she was doing.''

''She's at my place,'' Sam said. ''That's why I'm here actually. I need a few days.''

''Sam,'' Swarek said with an apologetic tone as he shook his head. ''I'm down two officers with McNally and Epstein out. I need you right now.''

''Get someone from another division for a week,'' Sam said. ''I don't care, but I need a few days.''

''You know that under different circumstances..'' Frank started.

''Frank,'' Sam warned. ''You know me. I never take time off, but I need some time right now. You know just as well as I do that this is going to be hard on McNally for a while. If you try, you can get someone from a different division. IT's not like that hasn't happened before.''

''How many days do you need?'' Frank asked as he started flipping through some pages.

''Five,'' Sam said. ''I've only used one personal day this year, so I think you should grand me this one.''

Frank nodded and looked up to his friend. ''I won't be making any promises, but I will see what I can do. You can take tomorrow and I'll let you know about the rest of the days.''

Sam decided to take what he could get and nodded. ''Okay, thanks,'' he said. He was pretty positive that Frank would make it work. He was a good employee, always on time and he never asked for much. The least the department could give back were some days off.

''Take care of her Sam,'' Frank warned. ''She's just a few months on the job and she already got shot once and now this. We can't afford to lose her, she's one of the best I've seen in a long time.''

Sam looked proud and smiled. ''I will. She's strong, she'll pull through. Right now she just needs to sleep and get her strength back.''

''Good,'' Frank said. ''I'll do the best I can Sam. Maybe it's best if I come by some other time this week. You give McNally my best wishes.''

''Will do Frank.''

XX

Sam entered his house and walked into his living room. Nash was on the couch, but McNally was nowhere in sight. Sam raised an eyebrow and looked at Traci.

''She's upstairs,'' Traci said. ''I told her to lie down in bed, this couch didn't look too comfortable and she was obviously in pain.''

''I'm kind of shocked you got her to listen to you,'' Sam admitted.

''It's the mom face and voice,'' Traci laughed. ''I think that scares her a little. Besides, she was only fighting herself on this. Poor girl is exhausted.''

''Yeah, I know,'' Sam agreed. ''Thanks for looking out for her.''

Traci nodded and stood up. ''I think I'm going to head home. Jerry might appreciate a home cooked meal for two for a change. Something different than macaroni and cheese.''

Sam chuckled. He had a hard time imagining Jerry eating kid food every single night. ''Thanks again Nash. Tell Jerry we'll reschedule for poker night soon, I won't be coming tomorrow.''

''Sure,'' Traci answered as she grabbed her coat. ''Call me if you guys need anything else. I can always swing by during lunch break or after shift, okay?''

''I will.'' Sam showed Traci out and walked upstairs. He found Andy curled up in his bed. He smiled at the image in front of him and sat down next to her. The movement cost her eyes to flutter open and when she looked up she gave him a weak smile.

''Hey,'' she said. ''You're back. Is Traci gone?''

Sam pressed a kiss to her forehead and brushed her hair from her face. ''Yeah, I just showed her out. How are you feeling?''

''Fine,'' Andy answered. ''I slept for a while.''

''Good,'' Sam replied. ''That's good.'' He cupped her cheek in his hand and ran his thumb over her ear. ''What do you want for dinner tonight?''

''I'm not really hungry,'' Andy admitted. ''You should order something for just you.''

''Okay, first of all, you need to eat,'' Sam said. ''You can't take your pain medication on an empty stomach. And second of all, if I order something for just me you'll probably end up eating most of it. So I'll just order for the two of us. Chinese food okay?''

''Perfect,'' Andy mumbled. ''It's still early right? We can lay down for a moment?''

''Sure, try to get some more sleep,'' Sam said.

''Lie down with me?'' Andy asked. ''You couldn't have gotten more sleep than me and I like sleeping in your arms.''

Sam grinned and stretched out beside Andy. As soon as he was on his back, Andy rolled over to his side. She moved her head to Sam's chest and sighed when she was comfortable. Sam slowly massaged her skull with one hand, careful to avoid the area where the wound was.

Andy moaned softly and pressed a kiss to Sam's chest. ''That feels nice,'' she whispers.

''Close your eyes,'' Sam instructed. ''Just try to get some more sleep, okay?''

Three hours later Sam opened his eyes. He didn't plan to fall asleep, but he really was exhausted. Andy's head was still on his chest and he heard her mumble. She was fisting his t-shirt in her hand and it took him a second to feel the wet patches on his shirt.

''Sweetheart,'' Sam gently said. He hated seeing her like this, but he did anticipate it. It wasn't weird that she was having nightmares, she had been through a whole lot in the past 24 hours. ''Sweetheart,'' Sam said again. ''Come on, wake up. It's just a dream.''

Sam tried to sit up and he took Andy with him. When she opened her eyes she immediately looked around the room. ''I'm safe,'' were the first words out of her mouth. ''I'm okay.''

''You are,'' Sam agreed. ''I'm here, just let it out, okay?''

Sam cradled Andy's head in his hand and held her close to his chest. He felt her sobs more than he heard them. Her body shook as she let everything out. Sam knew there wasn't much he could do to help her. So he just held her, whispered in her ear that he was here for her and pressed kisses to her temple.

''I dreamed that they shot Dov in the head,'' Andy whispered. ''And then you came and they shot you too.''

''Epstein is fine,'' Sam promised. ''I'm here, I'm okay too.''

''I know,'' Andy softly whispered. ''I'm okay. I'm sorry.''

''Hey,'' Sam said as he grabbed her by the chin. ''It's okay, alright? Just let it out. You'll feel better after that.''

Andy only cried for another minute. She felt slightly ashamed. She was fine, right? She didn't have a reason to cry. The nurse told her that she could be emotional though. Apparently that was normal after a head injury.

''I love you,'' she whispered in Sam's ear when she calmed down. '''Thanks for letting me stay here.''

Sam closed his eyes and nodded. ''Of course,'' he simply said.

Truth was, she was exactly where she belonged as far as Sam was concerned.

XX

**I hope I'll be able to post the final chapter somewhere next week, but just to be sure I won't be making any promises.. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Here we are, last chapter of this story.  
I hope you've all enjoyed the story and that you are happy with how things are ending. **

XX

Andy recovered fairly quickly. She kept getting minor headaches from time to time, but it was nothing she couldn't handle. The nightmares stayed though. Every night she woke up in a sweat, sometimes she was hyperventilating by the time she woke up.

It got so bad that Sam decided to stop working nights for a while. He couldn't leave her, because he knew that he was the only one that could really calm her down.

Every time when she woke up out of breath, pupils dilated and covered in sweat, Sam was there for her. He talked to her, held her close and breathed along with her.

The kidnapping had really affected her more than anybody anticipated.

Talking to the department shrink did work. Andy decided that if she wanted to get better, she needed to be honest. So she told the woman about Boyd, her leaving Sam and of course the kidnapping.

She wasn't a big fan of therapy, but talking about things really did work. After two weeks she was cleared for desk duty. It wasn't exactly what she was wishing for, but at least she had something to do again.

At one point she even got Sam to join her to therapy. Her therapist suggested that it would be good for Andy if he joined them for a session.

Sam wasn't thrilled to be seeing a shrink, but again, if it would help Andy he would be more than happy to do it.

During that session they mostly talked about the time they spent apart. How it affected both of them and how they dealt with that hurt. It was hard to get everything out in the open, but it was probably necessary if they ever wanted a shot at being normal.

Well, their version of normal that is.

Six weeks after the kidnapping, Sam was waiting in his truck for Andy. She had an appointment and he brought her there. After that he did some groceries and then he went back to pick her up.

As soon as he saw her walking through the door he noticed something different about her. She was wearing a small smile. A smile he really missed.

It wasn't like she never smiled in the month before that, but Sam could always see something behind that smile; it wasn't sincere.

This smile was.

''Went okay?'' he guessed as soon as she reached his truck.

Andy nodded and shoved a piece of paper in his face. Sam grabbed it and grinned at her. ''Guess we can welcome you back officially, officer McNally.''

Andy nodded again and smiled a little wider. ''Yeah, cleared for active duty. She will advice Frank to let me ride with a TO for a while, but I don't even care about that. I'm just happy if they'll allow me to get away from behind that desk.''

While it hadn't been completely horrible, Andy definitely wasn't a fan of desk duty. Frank felt sorry for her, so most of the time he partnered her with one of her friends. He even put Sam on desk once, but Andy highly suspected that Sam asked for that himself. The fact that it happened the day after she had a major panic attack in her sleep was a little suspicious to her.

''What about the nightmares?'' Sam cautiously asked.

While the nightmares definitely weren't that frequent anymore, they were also not over yet. Most of the time Andy wouldn't even wake up anymore. Sam noticed every single time one occurred though.

''She said they would probably fade away, but she does want to talk to me again in two weeks. I don't even care right now, I'm too excited about this,'' Andy said as she clutched the piece of paper.

Sam chuckled and put the truck into drive. ''Well, let's go and tell Frank the good news then, okay?''

Andy nodded and looked like an excited four year old while she did it. To anybody else she probably looked foolish, but to Sam she was the most endearing thing he ever saw.

He quickly drove them over to 15th where Andy shared the good news with their boss and friends. All the rookies welcomed her back warmly. Dov had apologised about a million times to her, but she wouldn't have any of it. She was realistic enough to know that it really could have been anybody. Dov had been back at work a month now, he made a full recovery very fast.

''Good to have you back McNally, things aren't the same without you on the streets with us,'' Oliver told her as he gave her a friendly hug. ''You are the only one that ever buys me a decent coffee.''

''Well, looks like this might be your lucky day then,'' Andy replied. ''I'll probably ride with a TO for now and that's most likely going to be you.''

Sam slapped his friend on the back and gave him a look. Oliver knew exactly what that look meant. It meant that he was responsible to keep Andy safe on the streets. Oliver nodded at Sam, his way to promise he would keep Andy safe.

XX

The next day Andy walked into the parade room with minutes to spare. That was a really rare thing, but today she was just excited to work again. Of course she had been at the station in the weeks before, but desk duty was just not doing it for her.

Desk duty was not the reason she became a cop, this was.

As soon as assignments were handed out, everybody stood up. As expected Andy was riding with Oliver, so she went out to get him a coffee.

When she was at the coffee station, she felt Sam's body pressed against hers. Andy turned around and raised an eyebrow. Most of the time Sam wasn't one for public display of affection.

Especially not around the station.

Of course there was the evidence room, equipment room and interview room, but that was different. It was just the two of them in there.

''Be safe, okay?'' Sam whispered in her ear. ''If anything happens or you don't feel good..''

''Sam,'' Andy interrupted him. ''I'm going to be fine, okay? I am cleared and I can do this.'' Andy knew that Sam was only looking out for her best interest, so she tried to not be annoyed by his protectiveness. ''Hey,'' she said when she saw Sam was still over thinking things. ''I'm with Oliver today,'' she reasoned. ''Who do you trust more to have my back then him?''

''Myself?'' Sam joked. ''You're right,'' he said after a second. ''Just stay out of trouble, alright.''

''Alright,'' Andy promised. ''I'll try to do my best.''

Sam quickly scanned the room and saw that nobody was paying attention to them. So he quickly lowered his mouth to hers and gave Andy a chase kiss on the lips.

Andy smiled and grabbed the two coffees that were waiting for her. ''Bye,'' she softly said. ''See you after shift.''

As soon as Andy reached the cruiser, Oliver took the coffee from her. ''You're buying lunch rook,'' he said. ''Thought I was done being a TO for a while.''

''Hey,'' Andy shrieked. ''I thought you said you were happy I was back?''

''That was when I thought you were going to buy me coffee,'' Oliver explained. ''Now that you're making me drink this,'' he said as he held up his cup. ''I'm not so sure.''

''Okay, first of all, I am no longer a rookie,'' Andy argued. ''You are just partnered with me to make sure I'm not unstable or whatever. And second of all, you're not my TO anymore. You are just my partner and maybe Best will ask you if you think I'm handling everything okay.''

Oliver turned serious all of the sudden and looked at Andy. ''You are ready for this, right?'' he asked.

Andy's face turned serious too and she nodded twice. ''Absolutely,'' she said.

''Good,'' Oliver said with a much lighter voice. ''Because we both know Sammy will kick my ass if anything happens to you ever again.''

Andy smiled and looked down. 'Well, we can't let that happen.'' She was silent for a while and looked up with a smile. ''If you let me drive, I'll buy you lunch.''

Oliver smiled and held out the car keys. ''Lead the way.''

Their day was pretty uneventful, but Andy was happy with that for a change. She enjoyed working with Oliver and was just happy to talk to people outside the station again.

This is what she missed, the contact with the people on the streets of her city.

''Good work today, McNally,'' Oliver said when they reached the barn again.

''We didn't really have any challenging calls.'' Andy shrugged her shoulders and looked at Oliver. ''We can handle these kinds of calls in our sleep.''

''Still,'' Oliver argued. ''First day back and you did good.''

Andy laughed and looked at Oliver. ''I bought you lunch, in your book that is the definition of good.''

Oliver smiled and got out of the cruiser. ''Looking forward to working with you again tomorrow, McNally.''

When Andy exited the locker room she saw that Sam was already there waiting for her. ''Hey,'' she smiled. ''I thought me and Oliver were done early?''

''Slow day,'' Sam explained. ''Looks like the bad guys of Toronto took a day off.'' He took Andy's hand and walked her towards the exit.

When they were walking to his truck, Andy cleared her throat. ''Sam?'' she asked. When he looked at her she smiled faintly. ''Do you think you can drive me back to my place?''

Sam raised an eyebrow and squeezed her hand. They hadn't really spent any time at Andy's place since her incident. She went there a few times to pick up clothes, do some cleaning and sort out her mail, but they spent every night at the house. ''Why?'' Sam asked.

''I just think that I'm ready to be alone again,'' Andy explained. ''The nightmares aren't nearly that bad anymore and it's time I learn to sleep alone again. You should go to the Penny, you haven't seen Jerry or Oliver outside from work in ages.''

Sam sighed and ran his hand across his face. ''Andy, you don't have to do this. Things are fine like this. We can go to the Penny together.'' Sam knew that the nightmares hadn't stopped yet. It was true that they weren't occurring every night anymore, but she still had them from time to time.

''Please?'' Andy asked. ''I just feel like this is something I need to do.''

While he sometimes hated how independent she wanted to be, Sam could see where she was coming from. He took a good look at her and swallowed. ''Promise me one thing,'' he said.

''Anything,'' Andy immediately responded.

''The moment you feel like things are not okay, you call me. Don't try to be brave, just be honest with yourself.'' Sam knew she would probably never do this. He could already picture her lying in bed all night in a panic, but too damn stubborn to call him and let him help.

Andy stood on her toes and gave Sam a soft kiss. ''I love you,'' she muttered against his lips. ''But I really think I'm going to be fine on my own.''

Sam ran his hands across Andy's back and nodded. ''Okay, let's go then.''

As promised, Sam dropped Andy off at her apartment. He walked her up and stayed for dinner. After that they sat together for a while, but then Andy insisted that he should go meet Oliver and Jerry.

Sam made sure she locked up as soon as she closed the door behind him. He debated going home for a moment, but then he decided that it was a really long time since he went out and had a few drinks with his friends.

As soon as he entered the Penny Oliver was in front of him. ''Sammy, didn't expect to see you here tonight,'' he said. ''Trouble in paradise?''

''No,'' Sam replied. ''Andy's at her apartment.''

''Oh,'' Oliver said as his smile dropped. ''I thought you guys were good?''

Sam frowned and made his way to the bar. ''We are, she just wanted me to go out and needed some time for herself or something.''

''She couldn't have some time alone at your place?'' Oliver asked.

Sam shrugged and motioned to Liam to bring him two beers. ''She wanted to try sleeping alone.'' Sam handed Oliver one beer and took a sip of his own. ''She was having nightmares. I think this is her proving to herself that she's over the whole kidnapping.''

Jerry joined his two friends at the bar, so Sam asked Liam to bring them a whiskey too. ''You okay, brother?'' Jerry asked. ''Haven't seen you here in a while.''

''Yeah, things are turning back to normal,'' Sam explained.

''McNally okay?'' Even though Jerry wasn't supportive of Sam's relationship at first, since the kidnapping he saw that what his friend and Andy shared was real. Everything Traci told him helped him understand Andy a little bit better and now he really hoped the two would make it.

''She's getting there,'' Sam answered. ''I just hope she doesn't hurt herself trying to convince everybody she's there already though.''

''McNally insisted that Sammy here met us for drinks, while she sleeps in her own apartment again,'' Oliver explained to Jerry. ''My guess is that he is a little anxious to find out how she is doing.

''She's a big girl Sammy,'' Jerry argued. ''Let her do it her own way.''

''I know, I know,'' Sam said. ''It will be fine, she'll be fine.''

Jerry looked at his friend and shook his head. ''Honestly I'm a little surprised the two of you didn't just put an end on her lease and make it official.''

Sam nearly choked on the sip he just took and looked at Jerry. ''What?'' he said. ''We're not living together.''

''You were the last few weeks,'' Oliver chipped in.

''It's not like you haven't done it before,'' Jerry reasoned. ''You guys already know each other's bad habits and weird quirks, but if you're not ready for that then take your time.''

Sam took another sip of his drink and pinched the bridge of his nose. He thought about everything his friends said. In a way it made sense, on the other hand, they weren't back together for that long. They had both changed and maybe it would be too soon.

He was disturbed from his thoughts when Oliver started laughing. Sam turned around and was just in time to see Dov scramble back to his feet. ''These rookies do not know how to hold their liquor, he has been here for less than three hours.'' Oliver said laughing. ''I'll go make sure he gets into a right cab.''

XX

Sam turned around in his bed and sighed. He really couldn't sleep. Part of him wanted to go over to McNally's place to see if she was okay. Another part of him knew that she would probably kick his ass if he did that.

He trusted her and wanted to let her do things her own way, but still. She didn't know about the nights where she would stir in her sleep. The nights where he would rub her back in her sleep until she settled down against his chest again.

Besides, he kind of missed her right now. And he sure as hell wasn't going to let her know that. She would probably tease him until his death if he did.

He was Sam Swarek. He didn't miss someone he saw six hours before.

On the other side of town Andy let out a loud sigh. She wasn't scared or anything, but her bed did feel really unfamiliar to her right now. It was stupid, she knew that. She had been sleeping perfectly fine in this bed before everything that happened.

It was only six weeks that she spent in Sam's bed, so it wasn't like she was used to that again.

All though she had to admit that she was a really happy that he was still sleeping in _their_ bed. The bed she picked out when they just moved in.

She loved that bed, but most of all, she loved that mattress. The thing she loved most though was the person that was lying next to her in that bed.

Her bed wasn't that comfortable anymore all of the sudden.

Andy groaned and flipped onto her stomach. She readjusted her pillow and closed her eyes for the hundredth time that night. She needed to fall asleep fast if she wanted to be any kind of useful on shift the next day.

XX

Andy woke up a few hours later when she heard something clutter in her apartment. Her eyes flew open and immediately she took in her surroundings. Nothing looked off, but nobody was supposed to be in her apartment.

As if he sensed her anxiousness, Sam walked into her bedroom carrying a coffee cup. ''Good morning McNally,'' he greeted her.

''God,'' Andy said. ''You freaked me out.''

''Sorry,'' Sam immediately apologised. ''I should have called first.''

''No, no,'' Andy said. ''Sorry, of course not. I guess I just wasn't expecting you here, that's all. You had fun last night with the guys?''

''Sure,'' Sam replied. ''Watched Epstein make a complete fool of himself. I guess we should be thankful he already had the day off today, or else we would probably be down one officer today.''

''That bad?'' Andy asked. She knew that Dov knew his limits on most nights, but sometimes he could get a little out of control.

''He won't have a happy morning,'' was Sam's answer. ''How did you sleep?'' he said as he caressed her cheek.

''Fine,'' Andy said as she tilted her chin up, ready to get a morning kiss.

Sam happily complied and cupped her cheek in one hand. His other hand went to the back of her neck as he pulled her to his lips. As soon as their lips met Andy let out a small moan. She opened her mouth a little and Sam took that as an opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth.

Sam slowly nudged Andy back and settled on top of her. He detached their lips and started planting kisses on her collar bone. ''Sam,'' Andy tried to warn, but it sounded more like a moan.

''Sam,'' she said again, this time with a little more force. ''We're going to be late.''

''We can be quick,'' Sam grinned against her neck.

''Seriously, Sam,'' Andy laughed when Sam's hands disappeared under the tank top she was wearing, softly tickling her ribs.

''McNally,'' Sam warned. ''Shut up,'' he said before he crashed their lips together again.

XX

As it turns out, they weren't even that late. Sam made it to parade on time and Andy walked in when Frank had just begun his speech for the day. Andy smiled apologetically when Frank gave her a disapproving look.

Unlike the day before, this day was filled with calls. Before everybody knew it shift was over and everybody was on their way home. Sam decided to not even ask Andy where she wanted to go, he just drove them back to his place. If she wanted to go to her apartment she would let him know, at least that's what he figured.

The moment she reached the living room, Andy dropped down on the couch and sighed. ''Rub my feet?'' she asked Sam in her sweetest voice.

Sam chuckled and shook his head. ''I thought you said you slept fine?'' he asked.

''I did sleep fine,'' Andy protested. ''It just took me a while to fall asleep, but when it happened I had a very fine nightmare free sleep.''

''You were worrying?'' Sam asked, his tone serious all of the sudden.

Andy shook her head and sat up again, tugging on Sam's hand to get him to sit down next to her. ''No,'' she said. ''I think that I just had to get used to sleeping in my own bed again. Your sheets are better.'' Andy laid her hand on Sam's chest and put her head down too. ''And the mattress is way more comfortable,'' she added while she let out a big yawn. ''And you're warm and my bed was cold.''

''I see,'' Sam teased. He was just very happy that she wasn't up with nightmares all night. ''Just using me for my body heat, right?''

''Yup,'' Andy said, popping the p. ''That is all you're good for mister.''

''All I'm good for?'' Sam asked, acting to be offended. ''I thought you looked pretty pleased with me this morning.''

Andy smiled and slapped his chest. ''Shut up,'' she murmured. ''Let me sleep.''

''Don't you think you should sleep on that comfortable mattress you were just talking about?'' Sam ran his hand through Andy's hair and pressed a kiss to her temple. ''If you're good I might even give you a foot rub.''

''My hero,'' Andy sighed out. She swung one of her legs over Sam, so that she was straddling him. She kissed him gently and then laid her head back down on his shoulder. ''Carry me?'' she asked.

''You are unbelievable, you know that?'' Sam asked with a smile on his face. ''When you're sick you won't let anybody help you with anything, but now you're better and you want to be pampered?'' Sam swatted Andy's butt and stood up, locking her ankles behind his back. ''You're lucky you're cute, but don't get used to this,'' Sam said as he carried her towards the bedroom.

When they reached the bedroom Sam slowly lowered Andy to the bed. He placed a few kisses on her ear, cheek and neck and then he hovered over her for a few moments.

''What's wrong?'' Andy asked. When Sam didn't answer she shyly smiled up at him. ''Something wrong?'' she tried again.

''Come live here again,'' Sam softly whispered.

Andy let out a nervous laugh and shook her head. ''What?'' she asked. ''Sam, what do you mean?''

''Just what I said.'' Sam brushed her hair from her face and kissed the tip of her nose. ''Just come live here again, with me. It's where you belong.''

''How did you..'' Andy began, but she was lost for words. ''When did you think of this?'' she settled for.

''Yesterday,'' Sam admitted. ''At first I thought it was too soon, but Jerry said something that made sense to me and then I figured that I don't care if it's soon. You belong here with me and that's where I want you to be.''

Andy just gazed up at Sam, her eyes were glistering a little bit and she had a very small smile on her lips. Sam noticed her hesitation and lowered himself to her. He softly kissed both corners of her mouth and then their lips met in a soothing kiss.

''This house has never been just my house again,'' Sam admitted. ''It was always your house too, even after you left. I want you to come live with me again, but if you're not ready then I'll understand and I'll wait until you are.''

Andy shook her head again and lifted her head so she could kiss Sam. She placed her hand on his cheek and slowly rubbed the skin there with her thumb. ''I love you,'' she said again. ''I want to live here, I missed this.''

''So?'' Sam asked, waiting for her to make it official.

''Yes,'' Andy answered the question he asked before. ''I want to move in with you again. I want to fall asleep with you, I want to wake up with you, I want it all with you.''

Sam grinned and rolled to his side, taking Andy with him. He rested one hand on her hip while the other nestled in her hair. Sam gently tilted Andy's chin up and licked his way inside her mouth.

By the time they broke apart they were in a great need for air.

Andy rested her hand on Sam's chest and felt his heartbeat. ''Just the two of us,'' she said.

''Together,'' Sam agreed.

XX

_This was it! Last chapter of this story. _

_I want to thank you all for all the amazing reviews and PM's, they really do mean so much. _

_Please take some time to leave a review this time too. _


End file.
